women need to stop sleeping around. respect yourself!

There was a sexual revolution, and the women (and children) lost.

I believe the transgender movement is male payback for the last 60+ years of "feminism".

No - its men wanting to cash in on all the benefits we have handed women in exchange for nothing.

Feminists GREATLY unbalanced the equation in favor of women, so some poorly performing (and mentally ill) men have switched teams as they found the other side more beneficial.

Men bring assets and skills to the table. Today's Women often bring only liabilities, entitlement, and grief.

Add to that a family court system (with peripheral "experts" to provide various "Services" as ordered by the courts), a more than 60 Billion dollar industry ready to plunder every marital estate and load the litigants up with as much debt as they can possibly bear, and marriage doesn't have a chance.

Relationships between men and women are complicated. I married at 30, but we weren't suited to each other. I came to realize that I'm far too self-centered to have such a relationship. I haven't dated since. I'm 70 now, far beyond my childbearing years, and it's a bit lonely at times, but I was much lonelier during my marriage. I'm still selfish but I have no desire to abuse others.

I will add this. TV ads typically show women being smarter etc. than men, and able to do everything without help. It isn't true. I thank God for the kind men among my friends and acquaintances, and complete strangers, who help if asked and often volunteer when they see me struggle. Men are generally wonderful, and I am blessed by the ones in my life. I don't want my own personal partner, because I am not able to be a reasonable partner. But I do appreciate the kind hearts around me. Thank you, all.

Men and women should have as little to do with each other as possible. They should come together to procreate, raise their children, then live more or less separate lives afterwards.

The sexes exist for no other purpose than to procreate. Men and women should take this attitude, and do their duty without greater expectations.

Such is the goal of 3rd wave feminism: Destroy the family and make women dependent on the government instead. It's succeeding at that goal at a frightening rate.

Of course, it's the most horrible situation for kids, but just think of all of the government services that screwed up and impoverished kids need!

As an alternative, American men can seek foreign brides from societies of more traditional values where it concerns the roles of men and women.

That’s what I said! If they want slaves, they can buy them. As women we have a choice, and being someone’s submissive isn’t attractive to intelligent women. Women from third world countries will endure all kinds of abuse in exchange for regular meals and a (relatively, at least you know who will rape you) safe place to sleep.

I feel bad for young women today. The choices are terrible. You can either marry some flaccid soy boy who is more afraid of spiders than you are, or some tyrant who will spend the next 50 years screaming at you "Filthy daughter of Eve, God said you must SUBMIT TO ME!" *whap*. It explains why young women today elect to support themselves; neither choice is attractive.

What I can't understand is why men like the commenters on this article who lament women getting "too big for their bloomers" don't just seek out and purchase a foreign wife. In many countries, especially Muslim ones, fathers are more than happy to sell their daughters to an American. She will never speak, she will never complain, and she will obey without question. In her country, abuse and infidelity are the norm. She will not only expect you to mistreat her, she will believe that she deserves it and will suffer with a smile. She'll have no thoughts of her own, no ambitions or dreams, no education. You will have the perfect Proverbs wife; silent, meek and obedient, even to her own detriment. Your children would be raised however you command; she will keep her religion a secret and will follow you to your church, head bowed, and will not speak to anyone or make any friends to interfere with her housework or child rearing duties. Your life won't change except you'll have a live-in cook and housekeeper who will bear young. Your dream isn't unattainable; you can easily find a woman like that and have her shipped here; once you pick her up from the airport it will be the last thing you EVER have to do for her. Why aren't men doing this?

You project a lot of stereotypes on men, including a propensity for abuse and domination that's more accurate of women than it is men.

I advised a gal below who complained about her 29 year old educated spinster that the "choices" aren't really that bad if she ACTUALLY looks. Basically, a decent looking 29 year old even with relatively high demands and standards who puts in just a fraction of the effort a PUA does in finding women can find dozens of fantastic marriage material men.

Even in the traditional societies you mention, the women are just much more "marriage minded" than here in the states who think that relationships should be handled by men. It's strange because we hear how women are the "caretakers of the home" but yet American women are ambivalent waiting for men to ask them out, to provide them with a perfect romance scripted (but appears real, Hollywood level acting), and to also manage the marriage as well lest she "get bored" and leave.

In other words, women who VALUE marriage can get married and they do. They marry young because they didn't put working 60 hours a week to buy designer bags as more important than their children.

Not wanting to be a mindless, soulless slave whose very existence doesn’t matter, who is interchangeable and spends her life in misery doesn’t make a woman “shallow,” nor does it mean she doesn’t value marriage. She wants a partnership, not to be a submissive to an abusive, hateful monster who doesn’t care if she lives or dies as long as dinner isn’t late.

Young women today have the option of being alone, being with a wimp or finding themselves chained naked to a tree in the yard being forced to eat dog shit because apparently you think that is “valuing marriage.”

I have only been married 38 years. My wife is neither a slave not a moron. I am neither a tyrant nor a soy boy. Your jaded view will doom you to a life alone with no real partner nor real love. Feel free to toss your aspersions and toxic femineity around. Enjoy your spinsterhood.

A "partnership" where the man asks her out, provides for her on the date to show he is provider material, while she focuses on HER career. If he's "lucky" he spends thousands on a blood diamond for her to impress other women and if he tries to leave the marriage because she's abusive, he'll be penalized by the divorce courts.

So, who do you think, in that "partnership" is "chained naked to a tree in the yard forced to eat dog doo-doo?"

If a woman want to show she's not a "mindless, soulless" person, she should take more of an initiative in the courtship process than the sleeping beauty paradigm. I think Disney mucked up generations of American women.

An average man does probably 1/2 of the marriage work BEFORE the relationship even begins! He develops himself not for his independence but to be a provider. Then he has to learn how to be "charming" and handle rejection. He has to deal with entertaining a brat during courtship and getting into her pants (because if he doesn't, he'll be friend zoned) and then somehow still want to go through with the relationship rather than just find it easier to dump her and move on (or better yet, let her dump him by being "needy". Pro tip!)

Yep, even before the ring is bought, the man has done most of the relationship work.

Gals gotta do more. Particularly if they're aging spinsters.

You, evidently, do not have a high opinion of Muslim societies. I would call you racist, except that I see your point and partially agree.

Islam allows for and encourages slavery, and we all know what they think of women. But honestly, a loving father would sell his daughter to an American because she won’t be abused nearly so badly as she would at the hands of a Muslim man.

Does the writer of this column want someone to write about men as one unit mixing in the angry lefties with good men who don't deserve to be talked about this way? There is a huge difference between people on the right and left and people on the left aren't the ones anyone should marry.

I have always wondered why both men and women seem determined to search for a partner in the worst possible places: bars, online dating sites, etc. Instead, both men and women who want to encounter the widest possible range of compatible partners need to just do what they enjoy doing, and are good at doing, whatever that is... and they will just naturally run into the right sort of person.

I think that a big part of the problem is the culture on college campuses that overwhelmingly emphasizes the kinds of encounters you get at bars, frat parties, etc.

Join a nearby makerspace, or a hiking club, or a trail maintenance organization, or even a historical society. There are lots of good guys/girls there! Leave the losers who depend on alcohol for encounters to amuse one another...

I heard this advice back a long time ago and it's limited. They're often full of people who are married and if you hit on too many people in them, you get a reputation and have to move on. Sometimes someone an get lucky, of course, but this is usually because a guy has developed PUA (pickup artist) techniques from cold approaches.

In the meantime, the "serendipity" old fashioned way of dating can take years and women in their 30's don't have a lot of time. This works if the person is doing this since their 20's and is active, even scientific about it.

We’re more likely to spend time thinking about how fast a gerbil could run if we gave it horse legs

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Just the junction of the four legs would be bigger than the rat (a gerbil is just a rat with good p.r.), invalidating the entire thought experiment. It would be better to suppose a horse sized rat. NYC do you want to chime in here?

1, Women are at peak attractiveness 18-26 yo on average. Decline starts then. Fertility is falling by 29 and troughing at 34.
2. Some women marry in their 20s and do fine. But many of the more attractive women are focused on sleeping around with hundreds of "Chads" in their 20s sowing their oats and by the time they hear the clock ticking in their 30s and settle for normal guys they have declining fertility AND are much more likely to cheat with more attractive males. Not marriage material.
3. Women who are progressive male-hating feminists who think they should dominate their husbands are missing the point that no real and competent man wants to be married to a woman who spends her time tearing him down. They want to be men but are shattered when they face the competition that all men are used to confronting routinely. You marry for a partner who does her best to help you succeed in your career and who you do your best helping her to achieve her goals. Progressive women do not get this at all. That is why they average 1.1 child per woman (an extinction rate) while conservative women who like being women average 2.4-2.6 children per woman (a slow increase rate).
4. The normal looking men who may be very successful and have good careers and the qualities to become good fathers who were shut out by women sleeping around have figured out what is happening and thinking - why tie my fortune to a woman who will be an infidelity cheater, unhappy with me, declining in looks rapidly having spent her best year on Chads who would never marry her because there were too many other tramps to sleep with, why marry them as I hit my prime?

The result, falling marriage rates, filling birth rates, women ending up as spinsters feeling like it was the fault of men that they choose to spend their prime sleeping around rather than building a family and men who would have liked happy marriages and a family giving up on it during their 20s and building lifestyles doing things they like as single guys. .

See, why don’t you just buy a wife? On her 26th birthday you buy a new one, she spends a year training the new wife than on her 27th birthday when she’s no longer attractive you can snap her neck and marry the new one. You’ll always have a wife in her “prime.” Problem solved.

Who are you? Your profile indicates that you signed up for commenting so you can bleed all over this article.

What I gather from your comments is that you are bitter from some bad experience(s). THIS comment (when she’s no longer attractive you can snap her neck and marry the new one) shows extreme callousness. So dating has not gone well for you. Surprise, surprise; it doesn't go well for a LOT of people, but other people learn from mistakes (their own and those of others) and make course corrections.

Instead of complaining, why don't you read some of the comments that try to SOLVE the problems and learn to do better?

Here are some right-off-the-top suggestions:
Don't hope to find Mr. Right in a bar or club. The only thing you know you have in common is a desire for sex, which is NOT enough for a good relationship.
Don't dress like you put out. If he is interested in YOU rather than a one-night stand, he will pursue you anyway.
Don't put out on the third date because "it's expected." If he is really interested in YOU, he will stick around.
If all of your girlfriends are this way, you will never get support to change your future until you learn to pick better friends.
What other things interest you? You are more likely to find someone who is interested in *you* if you share common interests.

What else? You tell me what you are looking for.

It is probably dontbluemyredstate or something like that from Daily Wire. She thinks that pretty much every man other than her husband is just looking for a woman to be their mindless slave. If you try to say something reasonable and she claims that just proves you want women to be mindless slaves. She somehow believes the gospel message, but feels that the rest of the Bible was written by misogynists who wrote it just to manipulate women, and you guessed it, make women into mindless slaves.

I’ve actually been married to a decent man for a long time. But I didn’t marry until I was in my 30s because I was dating men who wanted submissives. It took a long time to find a good, kind, strong man who could be a man without having to humiliate me to feel like he’s in charge. I followed all the rules you describe above, but within 4-6 months of dating the guys would start talking about how it would be once we married and I knew I wasn’t what they wanted and they for SURE weren’t what I wanted. Those guys acted like they wanted a partner in life; but as we got closer to a proposal, they hinted at what they really wanted so I ended it. I met them all at church; I met my husband at an alumi picnic.

The problem is you guys aren’t honest about what YOU want. If you want this master/slave relationship, be honest about it. There are plenty of women who don’t want responsibility and will allow themselves to be abused so they can be kept like a pet. Be truthful and don’t waste time trying to get a smart, strong and capable woman to become a slave. Get a woman who WANTS to be that ( or doesn’t know better) and it will be easier.

It doesn’t matter to most men what my interests are. You’re not interested in my interests and will expect me to give them up anyway so why even bring that up?

That guy said women aren’t attractive after 26. It’s going to be really hard to find a woman who won’t age past 26. That isn’t realistic.

I am very sorry that I jumped to conclusions. What can I say, except I was trying to envision what would make you sound so bitter.

Somewhere on here is a post that said "Marriage is a 100 / 100 proposition." Unless both husband and wife are ready to give their all for the other person's wellbeing, they are going to have problems. I and my three brothers were blessed to see that in our parents. And, three of us were blessed to find wives that saw marriage that way too.

Something I picked up along the way is that even churched guys don't always get it right. My best friend (and Best Man) tubed it after several years of marriage. Sitting in a pew (even under a very good teacher) is not a guarantee of a correct understanding of marriage.

Anyway; back to the post you replied to. Please note that ThinkerPrime did not get any up-votes, which is an indicator that the people here did not consider his entry of value. Also, downvotes on this site are typically reserved for proclaiming you think the entry is repulsive (as opposed to just not agreeing). You are welcome to downvote it to register your disapproval.

This article is dead nuts on the money.

I honestly don’t think that men and women were meant to live in the same house together. Maybe married couples should just live next door to one another and visit occasionally.

Not limited to just young women. All are moving in that direction and it explains the divorce rate increasing through all generations.

Funny how this article sounds like we haven't had a few millennia of experience with the conundrum, although the last few decades has made it seem more complex.

Last week I read part of an interview with Candice Cameron Bure where she talks about what kind of partners she wants for her children. She said something like "I want them to marry someone who loves Jesus as much as I do." That is a great starting point.

The Apostle Paul put it this way a little over 2000 years ago, and it hasn't changed:

Husbands; Love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her ... He who loves his wife loves himself.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Marriage is not about ME or HER; it's about US. I love my Bride (and yes; I still introduce her that way after 41 years), and her well-being comes before mine. She is the same way toward me. We manage to accomplish things anyway.

itshouldntbethishard left a reply that has subsequently been deleted. It is now gone, but she indicated that with this post I was lording over my wife. If she missed the point, others might miss the point as well. I am posting this reply anyway.

You may be missing something that is subtle.

At work; I had to be submissive to my supervisor, because that was the arrangement. I did what I was assigned, and the results (good or bad) reflected well or poorly on my supervisor. I had input, but he/she made the final decision. There was no doubt that if I messed up, my supervisor would get the blame. This is the chain of command.

At home, my primary goal is the best outcome for us, but she gets precedence. My bride sometimes has to prod me to make a decision that I might be reluctant to make, because it may bring harm to her. But make no mistake, I will be taking the blame for any decision that goes badly. In the chain of command, I am answerable to God, and she is blameless.

So yes, I am the tie-breaker. But if I love and honor my wife as Paul directs, SHE is the one that matters, and I honor her in my decisions even if I have to forfeit my life.

The reason why I deleted my reply (this is the edit). It’s not my business. Besides, if a woman is a submissive with no mind or soul, sure she’s blameless. Being too stupid to sin isn’t as flattering as you think it is.

You obviously think poorly of men, but in the same way that Democrats think that black people need to be treated like babies, you don't actually think much of women either.

This is very good. Unfortunately, not all of us who are older were taught how men think and what they like. However, if you like men and love your husband, you can learn.

Here are some truths from a woman’s perspective.

1. Men like to be appreciated. If you express appreciation for what they do, they will do more. If you criticize them, they will do less.

2. The way to a man’s heart really is through his stomach. Take the time to cook for him. Learn to cook, if you don’t know how. The more delicious the meals, the happier your man will be. If you feed him good food and plenty of it, he’ll be much less likely to sit in front of the TV eating potato chips.

3. Listen to him whenever he starts talking. Let him tell you about his tennis game or his brackets for the NCAA tournament. Pretend to be interested even if you’re not, and remember what he tells you.

4. Don’t give him advice. You’re not his mother. If there is something he does that bothers you, tell him how it makes you feel. Don’t expect him to be a mind reader.

5. When you feel a surge of love for him, express it. Tell him how glad you are that you married him. Tell him what a great person he is, and be specific.

6. Above all, don’t expect him to be like you, to think like you, to feel like you. There is a 1.5% DNA difference between men and women—the same degree of difference as there is between a man and a male chimpanzee. Vive la difference! the French used to say. Enjoy the differences, and appreciate them.

Actually, God designed women to be in a position of counsel and they should be willing to give advice. They just shouldn't be offended if their husband makes the decision to go in a different direction from their counsel. Men need to learn that if they always ignore their wives counsel then it sends the message that they do not value them. Marriage is so many things, but master or dominatrix and slave is not one of them. The misogynists and misandrists are both wrong.

This is good advice for women marrying especially Christian men. Men do not want to hear about you. Men do not care about you. You do not matter. Learn to think only of him and above all, EXPECT NOTHING IN RETURN. Remember, nothing about you matters.

Sid Caesar responded to a question about his thin appearance after losing weight on a diet, said simply: “There is no bread”. Apparently his biggest weakness was bread and once he cut it out of his diet the lbs. melted away. By the simple expedient of declaring “There is no bread” he convinced his body that what he most wanted didn’t exist and it worked. I mention this by way of saying “There is no divorce” is the sine qua non of making a successful marriage. Once that is planted in the minds of couples everything else falls in place. Put another way, so long as there is the prospect of divorce the odds of it happening increases.

An ongoing series of adjustments without the “D” word option can save a marriage and especially for children that is a big plus. It explains God’s declaration that He hates divorce as He decreed that “Those whom God has joined together, let no man pull asunder." Of course there are extremes where even Scripture condones divorce such as adultery. And physical abuse is something no one should have to bear for the sake of marriage.

Well this clearly isn’t true. The only time divorce is allowed for adultery is if the woman cheats, and physical abuse is allowed and encouraged to ensure women stay meek and obedient.

You’ll never find what you want if you’re not honest.

Reread what I wrote about “even Scripture …" to explain why divorce is allowed under certain conditions, don’t know what you are talking about. My point was to discourage divorces. You’ll never find what you want if you’re not honest.

“There is no divorce”

^^^^^ T H I S ! ^^^^^

Both of us had this mind before we married. It is simply NOT AN OPTION. Once that is off the table, we realize that disagreements have to be resolved - and work to resolve them.

In my case, although we both realized that divorce was off the table, we were in a situation where it became a distinct possibility.

What saved us was my mother. She had been trying since forever to break us up so I would return home to be her servant. I refused to give her the satisfaction. So we worked things out and here we are at 37 years of marriage, very happy. Mom died knowing she failed.

Marriage is a partnership but rarely is it 50/50. One seems to always give more in some circumstances while the other bears the heavier load in others but a partnership.

During a spat once I couldn't help it...I broke out laughing. As you might imagine that did not go over well. Sputtering mad my husband demanded to know what was so funny. I replied, "You want a woman with a mind of her own who does what she's told. Is that right?" He said, "yes, what's wrong with that?"

Some of what you speak about has widened the divide between the sexes but it's always been there, bridged by love, trust and communication.

I guess in your husband’s case, part of his satisfaction is in crushing your spirit and subjugating you to his will. It must not be enough to just force his will, he has to force it in someone who is obviously unhappy about it.

He does NOT want a woman who thinks for herself. Read these comments. Men don’t believe women are capable of thought. He enjoys bullying you.

God will hold you responsible for all the dissension you try to stir up. Why don't you just be honest and tell God that you hate him and everything He created? You are obviously too arrogant to believe there should be any authority over you, so why don't you just follow in Satan's footsteps and tell God that you could do it better? If you had your way, there would not be men and women, just asexual creatures that rubbed against each and then split off their progeny as a new copy of themselves.

Shouldn’t marriage be 100/100 ?

Not Christian marriage. Christian marriage is a master/submissive arrangement and women who object to ill treatment are daughters of Satan who must be punished and brought low.

It’s hard to fine an American woman who will tolerate that. Most of us want to be treated like we matter and have a marriage that’s a partnership rather than being subjugated. It’s incompatible with what men want today. They only want a smart woman so they can demand she not think, because that makes her more miserable than a woman who doesn’t want to be an adult.

The best way I heard it put was that it is a 100/100% propsition, where each one is all in and does the best they can. One often does more in some areas and the other one in others. Just because the work load is not equal does not mean both are not each giving a hunder percent of what they have to give. My wife is a super organizer and multitasker. I'm not. She got a master's degree at night while we were raising three kids, she was working as a teacher, and taught Sunday school. She got all As and our kids are all doing well and self employed. It was all I could do to work as a finish carpenter 60 hours a week. I'll be the first to admit she did more than I, but she also has told me many times she wouldn't have it any other way because it's easier than going behind me and redoing it all her way anyway. She is happy to do it and I am happy to let her. I do all things outside, and garage or auto related. I also keep house often, shop for groceries and run a pretty mean vaccum cleaner these days, since I'm retired and she isn't.