Disqus - Latest Comments for wookiewookie

Re: Feminist, Forgotten and Furious

wookie — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 13:38:01 -0000

To add though, I don't believe financial penalties will ever work in the manner you want. You can't use money to make a guy faithful. If you find it necessary to include antagonistic conditions, I'd say it's time to find a different dating pool. No amount of rule-setting will get a zebra to trade in its stripes.

Re: Feminist, Forgotten and Furious

wookie — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 12:59:28 -0000

I agree that there should be mutually defined agreements/definitions but I don't think a contract is the right format for it. At least for myself, I'd feel like I was being offered a seemingly harmless credit card loaded with hidden fees or a highly inflexible phone plan that I may not want down the line.

I don't think you have any intention of being sly or confrontational but there's no social precedent in the dating world (that I know of) so a guy's first reaction will likely be to wonder why you consider it necessary and his imagination may go wild (is she secretly the overly-possessive type?)

You could stipulate that both parties must revise and resign the contract after a period of time, but I don't think that'd make it anymore appealing. In fact I'd probably feel like I was paying my utility bills or something (ugh that time of the month again).

Perhaps this would appeal to a guy with a very structured and organized approach to life and some guys might enjoy it if you ask them to write up a contract and then you two harangue over it (you're giving him some control and first move). It could even turn into a game between you two but you'd have to set that mood first and it won't work for every guy.

So to sum it up, I think you should keep exploring this but avoid contract symbolism because it implies an arbitrary agreement dictated by one party. Instead, explore ways of making this a back and forth activity.

Re: Drunken Hookups Are Good for One Thing: Stories!

wookie — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 14:33:47 -0000

Yogurt-covered unmentionables sound like another disaster waiting to happen.

Re: The Ethics and Effectiveness of Men Buying Women Drinks

wookie — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 21:36:14 -0000

I believe VJ's point is that alcohol and higher brain functions typically don't mix and therefore expecting people to be ethical at bars is largely an exercise in futility, especially since alcohol seems to interfere with people's ability to reason (or at the very least giving people the excuse to act on their primal instincts).

Of course this is all contextual because it depends on the type of establishment you're going to and the culture there. I've been to some places that are basically free-for-all hookup playgrounds and others that are more like social-mixers. Being social-mixers, people have to be drunk enough to take to the floor but sober enough to avoid nausea/lack of balance. By extension the women tend to listen to their crotch less (naturally us men persist with our crotch-thoughts).

On a different note, have you seen this bit of news?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/...

The Journal of Sexual Medicine conducted a study on 1800 women and concluded that the G-Spot is a myth. All 1800 women were twins, both identical and non-identical. The assumption was that if one identical twin felt that she had a g-spot, the second identical twin must have one as well. This did not turn out to be true though and identical twins were no more likely to share a G-Spot then the non-identical twins, thus implicating that the G-Spot is not a physical/genetic feature.

Re: Maybe Knuckleheads Aren’t So Bad After All…

wookie — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 01:10:33 -0000

I can sympathize with being revolted with the crude writing in the chat transcript but you're missing the point of this post. The transcript's about two guys trying to make due with a rather ridiculous situation with one of them left hanging in the end.

In addition, the erotic communique above is rather benign and tame compared to some of the "romantic literature" out there. If this is enough to make you sick, I suggest you keep your Google SafeSearch on high because this is nothing... I'd even dare say that you're sheltered.

Re: What Women Really Want From Men

wookie — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 01:47:33 -0000

If we broaden "smart famous men" to "men with power", it'd be easy to see why they might go for a bimbo. He's able to get great sex by offering prestige and/or a good life. He'd get his way on what he wants such as how he spends his time or cheating since he controls all the power in the relationship. He might even be able to have fun on the side with a smart woman if he so chooses. There are nuances of course but you get the gist.

I don't think many men are interested in marrying women simply for their smarts anymore then women are interested in marrying men for their smarts. It's how intellect is applied that matters. Women want a man whose intellect manifests itself as humor and wit. If a man isn't entertaining on some level, most women I know would say no deal. How a man would want his woman's intellect applied is harder to say since it's not an evolutionary necessity but I think most men are attracted to intellect that manifests as a shared passion. Being knowledgeable about a specific music scene, being an avid bicyclist that understands the nuances of the frames, being able to discuss baseball stats with the boys, being a competitive gamer, sharing a similar sense of humor, being a partner in a business venture, etc.

On a separate note, #15, the casualwear thing is a bit complicated. If a girl is disheveled and wearing a simple tanktop and slacks for exercising, she's still pretty hot. Some girls may even find more guys hitting on them. This is related to how guys really don't care about the hours girls spend putting on makeup. Casual clothing makes her look like the girl next door, which most guys are interested in.

On the other hand, if a woman doesn't want to feel sexy and wears obviously unflattering clothes like super-baggy sweatshirts, it's hypocritical for her to expect a guy to find it attractive.

Re: Swine Killed My Blog

wookie — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 15:06:01 -0000

How did you find out you got hacked? o_o

Re: The 10 Greatest Love Stories of All Time

wookie — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 20:48:40 -0000

I highly recommend the Japanese short animated movie called "5cm per second". The title refers to an analogy where the protagonist's childhood sweetheart compares people to falling flower blossoms that slowly intersect and depart and hopefully intersect once more. As you might guess from that description, the movie deals with the one issue of that no one wants to deal with: letting go. I'm not going to spoil the ending but it's a beautiful contemporary of the old classics.

Re: Integrity: The Cure for Emotional Whiplash

wookie — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 13:17:43 -0000

Integrity IS hard to define and I think what makes it difficult is that there's different levels of integrity and people emphasize different aspects of integrity. This goes hand-in-hand in how a guy is transitioning from boyhood to manhood. Right now I'm pondering whether it's the exact same thing as maturity or if they overlap like a venn diagram.

Re: YouTube Funky Wedding March

wookie — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 17:38:46 -0000

I don't know if it's because I'm a guy or that I'm still relatively young but for the first half I felt like a boy who's absolutely mortified at having to see his parents' ridiculous public antics. I'd say that's a good sign though. There tends to be a positive correlation between embarrassed children and happy marriages.

2:50 and on was great though.

Re: Player or Boyfriend? It’s Written On His Forehead

wookie — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 17:13:48 -0000

"The study asked 700 heterosexual college students to separate the Keepers from the Throwbacks, and found that they got it right 72% of the time"

"Men showed little ability to differentiate between the preferences of the two male composites."

Does the combination of these two statements imply that the majority of the students studied were female then? I'm surprised that the study found that most men couldn't tell the difference.

Re: Getting an Upper Hand Job

wookie — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 11:18:44 -0000

No that is true. Parent don't always play a role in who we fall for. I fell for a girl with mixed signals once myself and I can say my parents were great models. The point I wanted to make is that in the extreme cases I encountered, the family they came from sounded very dysfunctional in some way. Even the girls' girlfriends were asking how they found the guy appealing.

Again, this isn't to say that bad fathers are end-alls. I have one friend whose mother told her that she (the mom) married the father in hopes of changing him for the better and that she (the daughter) should never make the same mistake. This girl right now is very independent and doesn't need a man to complete her.

Re: Getting an Upper Hand Job

wookie — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 00:16:43 -0000

According to some people that's when you're supposed to pretend that you've been tamed by her charms and gentle nature and then act like a reformed bad boy that is kept straight only because you love her.

And Psycho Male the best and most important thing you can do is be a good father and a role model of what a man should be. I've known some girls these past few years that have fallen for the truly irredeemable boys (alcoholic deadbeats, guys that get paid for promoting sketchy events) and the common thread they share is that they've had awful father figures. I won't go into details but the girls felt like they could relate to these guys. Inevitably they'd try to change him for the better but it'd be a futile endeavor. The truth is that parents give children cues of what's acceptable and unacceptable behavior and unfortunately these girls learned that it was acceptable for a man to act selfishly.

This isn't to say that people can't learn and change, but it's extremely difficult to part from what we grow up with.

Re: Guys: An Instruction Manual

wookie — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 23:31:42 -0000

I think most guys who are genuinely looking for a relationship will express their interest but need some sort of signal before they start investing beyond flirtation. There's always exceptions but most guys want a signal that their feelings are reciprocated. This is just a rule of thumb of course because you'll always have the ones that give all they got before receiving a response (sometimes to the point of being abrasive and a stalker) and those that refuse to act first for various reasons (previously burned, getting mixed signals, coward, etc).

As for myself, if I'm interested in someone I'll let her know but I won't go out of my way to put on a show for her because it's not who I am and I'd be setting her up for anger and disappointment later on. I'm a very laid-back guy who enjoys having time to himself. If I don't get a signal that she likes me for who I am then I move on.

On a slight tangent, I find that the guys that do everything in their power to convince a girl that they're the one are usually players. You'll only meet a guy who does this and means it if he's energetic and intense on an everyday basis. He just runs on Energizer batteries and is accustomed to putting in more then the average person. That doesn't preclude naturally energetic players though.

Apologies if things don't make sense. It's been a long day...