Disqus - Latest Comments for wonderyort

Re: Today in Wacky Hippie Sh!t: I Time-Traveled to 2005 and Hugged Myself

Mama Shaz — Tue, 19 Feb 2013 19:27:16 -0000

Wow... I wrote about my birth experience here on xojane and how I ended up in treatment for anxiety. Later I was diagnosed with PTSD and I've been wondering about hypnotherapy so this post came at a great time for me. I will talk to my therapist about it and do some more research!

Re: xoJane

Mama Shaz — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 23:06:05 -0000

So after reading this and your last post I kind of feel like I want to write a post on being a minimalist mom (whether for budgetary reasons, or just for not wanting clutter). But I feel like it might come off sounding judgmental, like I think my choices are better. So I guess I'm asking the author if you'd find that kind of thing obnoxious? (And to other readers, would that kind of article be useful to you?)

I don't want xoJane to become another place I can't escape the mommy wars, so can we just agree some people have different parenting styles and they're all ok as long as our kids' needs are being met?

Re: xoJane

Mama Shaz — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 19:24:43 -0000

Wow, I am really glad to hear that you've got resources available and that you're seeking them out! Best of luck to you with everything. If you ever need to talk to someone who's been there, you can contact me through my blog!

Re: xoJane

Mama Shaz — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 01:06:53 -0000

So true. It's a really hard line to walk of wanting to psych yourself up to do the natural birth thing and believing in your body and all that... but also keeping flexible to know that shit happens! I know there's nothing I could have done differently but the disappointment has been hard getting over.

Re: xoJane

Mama Shaz — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 01:04:23 -0000

We thought about it, but my understanding was that private insurance wouldn't guarantee you a private room, just put you at the top of the list for one. In retrospect I wish we'd shelled out for it!

Re: xoJane

Mama Shaz — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 22:43:37 -0000

You're right, I hadn't meant to stigmatize anyone with severe mental health issues. I guess what I meant was that I was beginning to feel like I was somewhere beyond help or even that they might take my baby away from me because my mental state felt so severe. Still not sure if I'm phrasing that in the most sensitive way, but hopefully my intentions are more clear.

Re: xoJane

Mama Shaz — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 22:39:17 -0000

I was in a shared room with another patient because we don't have private health insurance so all guests got kicked out after a certain hour. Looking back it was one of the hardest parts. If we'd been able to stay at our Birth Centre we could have gone home together after 6 hours and I hadn't planned on having to stay there alone. But I think this is generally the case with hospital births.

Re: xoJane

Mama Shaz — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 18:38:43 -0000

Many thanks o xoJane for giving me a forum to share my story!

One thing I also felt worth mentioning is how lucky I was to go through this experience in Australia with Medicare covering everything. I'm not sure how things would have gone in the U.S. or if I'd had to worry about the out of pocket expenses.

Re: xoJane

Mama Shaz — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 18:27:38 -0000

Yes, that is very true. It's part of my anxiety issue, but I think also has a lot to do with wanting to feel like I could handle it on my own because if I couldn't I wasn't a strong enough woman. But there's a reason we don't do this whole birth thing on our own!

Re: xoJane

Mama Shaz — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 18:23:37 -0000

Congrats on your pregnancy! I do wish I had prepped myself a little more for the possibility of a hospital birth, but I thought I was doubting myself. Sometimes, shit goes wrong though despite all our intentions and abilities. I say this not as a horror story warning (because you'll get plenty of those!) but just as a reminder to be realistic and as best prepared as you can for all outcomes. Though nothing really prepares you fully. But 4.5 months later I can happily chirp that it IS worth it! :-)

Re: How The “Cult of xoJane” Helped Get Me Through The Worst Days of My Life

Mama Shaz — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 18:07:53 -0000

So very sorry for your loss, Allan. I've been a lurker here for months and despite the fact that I haven't been actively participating, I completely understand how this site has helped during dark times.

I have an IHTM getting published here soon about my struggles with anxiety after my daughter was born and xoJane was the site I'd read on my iphone those sleepless nights.

I'm really glad you have support to get you through this tough time!

Re: My Husband Is Moving Out and Sometimes Life Sucks

Mama Shaz — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 17:22:14 -0000

Oh wow... I'm not a frequent commenter here or on Offbeat Mama. But i've been reading about your family on these sites for so long that it feels like I know you. And yet, obviously I don't, as I was so floored to read this.

My heart goes out to you. It was such a roller coaster of emotions when I divorced my first husband and we didn't even have a kid together. But he and I are both re-married now and a million times happier. It sounds like you're making the right move as well and I wish you luck with this new chapter of your life!

Re: VegNews DRAMA

Mama Shaz — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 04:27:46 -0000

VegNews magazine is a not-for-profit publication trying to get by in a very much for-profit world and succeeding pretty damn well at it. I'm not saying this makes them saints, just that I think we need a little context.

Re: http://vegansaurus.com/post/1314300204

Mama Shaz — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 00:27:34 -0000

Yup, I wear my thongs to the beach with my cossie and sunnies.

Re: http://vegansaurus.com/post/1314300204

Mama Shaz — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 19:19:30 -0000

I am applying for permanent residency next year actually. But I get to keep my San Francisco citizenship ;-) I'll be back visiting in a month! And bringing an empty suticase that I plan to bring to Rainbow Grocery to fill with all the delicious foods I can't find in Oz. Plus 15 Mission burritos. As we do not allow for the live export of koalas, I have little to bring to SF in return.

Re: http://vegansaurus.com/post/1314300204

Mama Shaz — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 17:04:45 -0000

On behalf of Australians, UGH. I'm sorry. If we start live exporting kangaroos I will cry a million tears :-(

Re: Ike's Place goes to court: TOMORROW at 9:30 a.m.!

Mama Shaz — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 00:57:50 -0000

OMG I just noticed you photoshopped Keanu Reeves into this photo and started laughing my ass off at work. If I get fired I'm blaming vegsansaurus.

Good luck saving Ike! If I still lived in SF I'd be all over this.

Re: The Perfect Saturday in San Francisco! YES, TODAY.

Mama Shaz — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 20:49:31 -0000

Wait, you mean MORE vegan brunch options have appeared blocks from where I used to live? Thanks for making me homesick, Laura :-P

Re: Every Monday is “Vegetarian Day” in San Francisco!

Mama Shaz — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 02:33:46 -0000

THIS IS A BIG FUCKING DEAL! Curious to see how this will pan out beyond "encouragement." But seriously, remind me again why I left San Francisco...

Re: http://vegansaurus.com/post/489210618

Mama Shaz — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 00:49:37 -0000

I just felt I needed to comment and say fuck yeah, Sassy magazine!

Re: Vegansaurus Goes To Another Trendy Sandwich Place In the Mission

Mama Shaz — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 20:33:49 -0000

"Why the snark?"

Are you new here? ;-)

Seriously though, I must have missed something. What's this new controversy all about?

Re: Is veganism really a battle between good and evil?

Mama Shaz — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 19:46:13 -0000

Good point, about the protection of certain animals over others. It just further shows how humans have complicated relationships with animals and that these views shift based on cultural values.

Regarding hypocrisy, it's not so much that I take the accusation personally, but rather I find it unfortunate that a lot of people seem to take it as a reason to discredit animal rights as a whole. When I first went vegetarian (before I was vegan) I often heard, "Oh well, what are your shoes made from? Leather? Then why bother being a vegetarian?" It's obviously a piss poor argument, but that doesn't stop people from using it to justify their behavior, which is why I prefer to frame veganism more as a series of ethical choices rather than the "right lifestyle."

Re: Is veganism really a battle between good and evil?

Mama Shaz — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 18:57:18 -0000

In re-reading my comment I realized it could come off as defending moral relativism, or excusing/apologizing, etc. for omnivores. But I think my position is actually similar to what you're referencing above, Alex, in terms of tactics used by activists. Except that I would argue that a certain level of respect does come into it.

Taking again the example of my mom. I know she cooks meat and cheese-filled lasagne every year for Christmas because she values tradition and she feels she's honoring her heritage by using a family recipe. Those are values I can respect. Unfortunately they come into conflict with the values of animal rights that I hold stronger. So rather than just painting my mom's actions as evil I can appeal to the values that cause her to act this way as a tactic for encouraging veganism by asking for her handed-down apple pie recipe that happens to be vegan, for example.

I guess that's always my biggest point when this discussion (frequently) comes up, is that we can argue about morals and ideology all day. We can pat ourselves on the back for choosing the "right" lifestyle, but what we need to concern ourselves most with is affecting change and I don't think you win many converts with black/white/good/evil/right/wrong rhetoric. Changing people's values IS complex, may require multiple tactics, and yeah, some respect and understanding for where people are coming from.

Re: Is veganism really a battle between good and evil?

Mama Shaz — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 17:35:15 -0000

I'm not sure if this is what tempehtation was getting at, but my interpretation of all this is that cultural values and one's place in society do not necessarily morally justify horrible acts, like eating meat, hate crimes, rape, etc. But rather that they're necessary in creating a context for defining a scale of morality. I do believe it is important to look at morality as a spectrum, not necessarily ideals that are either absolutely right or wrong, but making choices that, based on the context are more right than wrong.

We can all agree that murder is wrong. But certainly we see certain types of murder as being "more wrong" than others. Pre-meditated murder holds higher consequences than involuntary manslaughter, for example. This is something that as a culture we've agreed upon. Murder of animals is not something society has collectively agreed is wrong. It's not something we teach to schoolchildren. It's not an action that holds any legal consequences. Now, that doesn't mean that at a fundamental level it is a less wrong action, but it means we have to view it within a different framework.

I do not think my mom is evil because she eats meat, nor do I imagine any decent person would. Rather, I have to consider that she was never really raised with any compassion for animals. She values her cultural traditions that involve cooking sausage, cheese, etc. Values are a hard thing to convince someone to change. Now that doesn't mean we can't, or shouldn't try. It means we have to consider that simply framing people as "good" or "evil" is unproductive as it doesn't get at the roots of the problem.

Furthermore, when we assert that the vegan lifestyle is the "right" one, we set ourselves up for criticism. I find that many omnivores like to try to "catch" me on something I've done that is not 100% vegan because they want to frame me as a hypocrite. As tempehtation points out, there really is no way to be 100% "good" all the time, so using this dichotomy undermines our position.

Re: American crazies, awesome people in other countries, vegan marshmallows, illegal meats, travels with produce, expensive shoes on sale and more in this week's link-o-rama!

Mama Shaz — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 15:07:00 -0000

Aww, thanks for another shout-out. I'll miss you crazy vegansaurs!