Disqus - Latest Comments for vladimir_putin

Re: "Inside Sergey and Larry's Brain"

vladimir_putin — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 13:29:40 -0000

Lyudmila is insisting Sergey is good Russian boy, he is thinking fondly of tundra of Sibir, not Larry. (I am thinking story is correct as is stated.)

Re: Pogue to Jobso: "I've never had another job other than writing about the Mac -- thank you for 15 years of my career."

vladimir_putin — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 23:11:43 -0000

Song is not as good as best song of Pogues, "Fairytale of New York Times."

Re: More bad news out of China

vladimir_putin — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 22:25:03 -0000

Also, 95% of former American slaves not actually getting 40 acres and mule.

Re: Danke, Herr Bono! Danke! Und leck mich am Arsch!

vladimir_putin — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 22:15:53 -0000

In Russia we are having old joke: "What is best way to listen to U2?" "Shoot down with missile!"

Joke is from War of Cold but is still funny. Please say hello to Mr. Francis Gary Powers for me.

Re: Palm goes to the mattresses

vladimir_putin — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 22:00:59 -0000

I am thinking maybe Apple is adding special update only for Palm in next version of iTunes? Special update for Palm users only, which is erasing firmware, or dialing numbers to Zambia, or perhaps placing picture of Sad Macintosh on screen of Palm phone? If you are needing assistance with such an update, I can put you in touch with certain directorates who are knowledgable about such programming.

Re: Food for thought

vladimir_putin — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 21:42:48 -0000

Strange days we are in, Imitation Jobs. Cartoon of Orwell, Huxley is reminding me of contrast between old and new Russia. Old Russia is needing many security services, many eyes, many ears. New Russia is not needing so many security services, because there are no more secrets. Who is needing spy, when phone is constantly telling us where you are? Who is needing hidden microphone, when you are telling us tiny details of life on Internet? No need to smuggle plans for American F-22 on microfilm, when plans are available for purchase on eBay to highest bidder. (Includes shipping!)

A few still keep secrets... they are easy to spot -- as you say, they are ones reading books of Gogol, Pushkin. They sit quietly in corner, sipping tea, thinking. Such peoples must be watched carefully.

Re: News flash: Henry Blodget discovers Starbucks

vladimir_putin — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 16:58:28 -0000

In Russia we are having TV show for childrens... is having clueless but lovable detective inspector who is having many problems with simple technology. This detective is also having phone with big antenna in hand. Perhaps when "Inspector Blodget" is discovering Voice Control on iPhone, he is accidentally making legs into springs, shoes into wheels?

Re: Andy Grove comes to visit

vladimir_putin — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 13:30:04 -0000

I am liking very much this Andy Grove. I am thinking, he is sounding like Russian, he is sounding like man of good Slavic ancestors. I am looking into his eyes and seeing soul. So I have dossier of Grove brought to me, and he is Magyar! Do you believe? Is almost as good, yes?

Family of Grove is moving to U.S. during War of Cold, when Soviet tanks roll into Hungary. Pity. I could do business with such a man.

Re: Dear Henry Blodget: You're welcome, asshole

vladimir_putin — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 20:46:25 -0000

We are having many such reactions in my country during transition to market-based economy. Peoples go into stores, crying, "They are having bread on shelves! And two kinds toothpaste! And three brands soap which is not making rash on skin!" Do not be too harsh on Mr. Blodget, Imitation Jobs -- perhaps he is living in cave somewhere and does not know pleasures many peoples take for granted? Perhaps he is finding handshake of Catherine interesting because not many womens are living in cave?

Re: Sarah Palin, we are waiting for you to weigh in on this

vladimir_putin — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 01:51:39 -0000

In Russia we have beautiful saying, phrase of delicate meaning, to describe such a woman, who is said to cause man to have accident of Chernobyl in pants. I do not know English equivalent. One cannot help but look at such woman, as I try to explain to Lyudmila. She is making me sleep in parlor if I am caught with such glance! It does no good to tell her I am most powerful man in all the Russias, I have launch codes to ICBM, etc. -- she is wishing to keep me on tiny rope which attaches to collar of dog.

Women! Can anyone explain them?

Mrs. Palin is no doubt still searching skies of Alaska to see if I am "rearing head." I am having head right here, Mrs. Palin!

Re: Ballmer: In future, when you scream at your miserable frozen piece of shit Windows PC, it will understand that you're angry

vladimir_putin — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 01:25:26 -0000

I am not liking idea of computer which is trying to guess intent of user. This is sounding like "Clippy" who is always popping up and asking user if intent is to write letter and would you like help with writing letter when in fact you are filling out template for operant of certain directives ordering certain peoples to have "accident" which is possibly resulting in termination of life. No, Clippy, I do not think you can help with this. Sorry.

Re: Let's all take a deep breath and get some perspective

vladimir_putin — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 16:15:49 -0000

I am glad with all excitement and hyperbole over announcement of Google, Imitation Jobs gives us calm, rational analysis.

I am also knowing personally developer of "Chrome OS" as it is being made in Google office on Balchug st. Moscow. They are hiring intern who is changing wallpaper of something called "Ubuntu" to read "CHROME OS."

I too am not understanding business model of "loss leader" which is not leading. But then Russia is preferring to sell tangible items, oil, gas, airplane, spacecraft and such for high profit. Perhaps we leave business model of zero profit to the West. Is clear from state of economy, America has many interesting ideas to offer world.

Re: Asshole Forbes reporter stalking our employees

vladimir_putin — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:13:41 -0000

Some men are feeding tigers, other men are killing tigers. Which is to be feared, respected?

Re: Asshole Forbes reporter stalking our employees

vladimir_putin — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:10:50 -0000

But you are thinking wife of President who visits Moscow is Pat Nixon, when is possible I mean Michelle Obama, yes? Perhaps she is liking to meet real man, Russian man, who is killing tigers with empty hands. But Mrs. Obama is in next room currently, so I will not keep her waiting. [Here I am wishing to insert symbol of eye wink, but do not see on Cyrillic keyboard]

Re: Asshole Forbes reporter stalking our employees

vladimir_putin — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 23:58:22 -0000

I am not knowing idiom of "ham-fisted." Is compliment? Delicious, like ham?

Like many leaders of Russia, Brehznev is having intense sexual power of bear, or Siberian tiger. Such power is making him irresistable to many, many women, Dick Nixon. Perhaps even certain wives of certain American Presidents who visit Moscow are not immune to this power?

Is true Brehznev is also having subscription to Omsk Farm Implements Monthly, but in 1970s they are having "Farm Girl of Month" feature in middle of magazine. Very popular! Omsk farm girls, they are very robust, how you say, "healthy?" If you are catching gist of drift.

Magazine is also having good articles. You know, for readings.

I agree, stories of medical procedure often prelude to transition of power. Andropov was dead three weeks -- story in newspaper, "General Secretary Andropov taking small vacation." General Secretary Chernenko is having "kidney transplant." Castro? He is having "facelift." Also something called "tummy tuck." At least is story now. Who is knowing what to believe?

I am also hearing rumors of death of Dick Nixon. Not that I am believing!

Excuse please. Channel One is showing picture of Sarah Palin. Perhaps she is seeing Russia from house?

Re: Asshole Forbes reporter stalking our employees

vladimir_putin — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 23:56:21 -0000

Anthrax? Only American idiots are still playing with such a toy, which is unpredictable and slow and cured with two kopeks of antibiotics.

Re: Asshole Forbes reporter stalking our employees

vladimir_putin — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:22:58 -0000

I am pleased so many of SVR disinformatsiya techniques being developed in Russia during War of Cold are being adopted by marketing peoples of Apple. My heart is warmed to see Imitation Jobs using such techniques even while denouncing them in public. Clearly Forbes reporters are not suspecting Apple of recording all iPhones conversations, emails, contacts etc. by certain "diagnostic" procedures of AT&T network available to Imitation Jobs. Is too bad certain reporters, such as █████ ██████████ of ███████, California are still having medical records of paper. It would be shame if pharmacist at ███ of ████ █████ █████ ████ would make tiny mistake of dosage in next prescription refill "Warfarin." Friend of mine is telling me certain medications are chemically identical to poison of rodent! Is strange coincidence, yes?

No doubt skill of fluent Spanish is useful with little zaychik of Argentina, eh, Imitation Jobs? I am having good stories of diplomatic posting to Argentina, but must save for later as Lyudmila is calling.

Re: RIP, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson

vladimir_putin — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 18:50:53 -0000

Is very bad joke of Schiller. Mikhail Jackson is world celebrity. So what if he is kissing stomach of boy? This is simple affection to childrens in Russia. Is tradition. Yet so-called "journalists" make much of such affection to children. They are taking what is innocent and casting aspersions upon to sell rags of newspapers. All peoples mourn death of artist. But when journalist is dying, perhaps due to car blowing up, no one is mourning.

I am feeling sorry for Mikhail, such misunderstood genius.

Mikhail Jackson is taking many Russian folk songs and making hits of them -- for example, "Go Home, My Cow" is same melody as in "Billy Jean." Also "Cossack Patrol" is sounding similar to "Smooth Criminal." Many peoples do not realize, CCCP is ended not due to Reagan shaking of fist at Berlin Wall, but of glasnost making available album of Bad. Farewell Mikhail, for your services to people of Russia, people of world.

Re: Jon Rubinstein now says he'll get a new liver, too

vladimir_putin — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 23:52:16 -0000

More disturbing findings from Smolensk, Imitation Jobs. Clinic is also working with disgraced scientist of Korea who is expert in стволовая клетка ("stem cell?") and certain cloning technique of dubious legality. I am also informed that clinic contains many large cylinders, which are being kept at precise 37 degrees. Is possible connection to certain... contingency plans of former Sovetskiy Soyuz, which is preservation of genetic material of leaders in event of nuclear war.

But labels on cylinders are having many curious American names, such as "2GatesBill," "3GatesBill," "4GatesBill" and so on.

I do not know of direct connection to organ harvesting operations. But Imitation Jobs should beware of future transplants, if source of organ is unknown. There is old American saying, "Trust but verify." (From Reagan, yes?)

Re: Asked and answered, NY Times. Happy now?

vladimir_putin — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 15:15:53 -0000

Have pulled dossier on Miss Lublinova. Is seeming to have connections to certain black market organ harvesting organizations having clinic in Smolensk where many, shall we say, "experimental" procedures are being performed. Not limited to hearts, lungs, livers. Is interesting section documenting attachment of -- what is word? testicle? -- extra pair being acquired for a certain "Mister Ellison" of United States.

I do not know what dark informations Miss Lublinova has obtained, what purposes she is having, what connections to heads of companies in your country, but I advise caution, Imitation Jobs.

Re: Sacrilege! Zunes pollute iPod display at Wal-Mart

vladimir_putin — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 22:09:12 -0000

Who needs "Microsoft Store" when is "Best Buy" to hate? Such stores are having opposite of Apple Store experience. They even have opposite of Genius Bar, where you can wait long time to talk to moron.

Mac "cultists" would never throw MacBook Air through windows of Microsoft Stores. Is casting pearls before swines. Also, they are thinking Windows already broken.

Re: Sacrilege! Zunes pollute iPod display at Wal-Mart

vladimir_putin — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 16:31:42 -0000

Imitation Jobs, I am making available to Apple services of Russian Orthodox Church. Is clear krasny ugol has been "defiled," and must be ritualistically purified before being reconsecrated.

I suppose is possible Buddhist has similar purification ritual.

Perhaps Moshe performs purification with fire? Taking flamethrower to display, is also serving as reminder to Wal-Mart people to not make same mistake.

Re: Andrea Jung is making my life a living hell

vladimir_putin — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 14:12:57 -0000

For interrogations, I have heard repeated, high-decibel playing of American Michael Stipe singing song, 'The Wrong Child' is 2.5 times more effective than waterboarding technique as practiced by certain security agencies.

Not that I have personal knowledge of such affairs.

Re: This is sickening

vladimir_putin — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 23:31:40 -0000

I am hearing rumors of new iPhone virus, in which infected phone is showing video of homeless person, who washes screen of iPhone without consent of user, then pops up dialog asking for monies.

I do not know if homeless person is wearing bikinis.

Re: Next up: "The primaries are flawed."

vladimir_putin — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 23:16:16 -0000

Clinton scorched earth campaign is normally dredging up scandals on opponents; they are lacking such ammunition on Obama.

Is good try, back in December, Clintons try to sink Obama with cocaine issue (which Obama discusses in book and in public). But torpedo is backfiring, and Bill Shaheen resigns.

To swiftboat opponent takes some time -- momentum, drag both take time to build -- so if Clintons have nuclear weapon they would have dropped by now.

Meanwhile Clinton campaign gets new scandal every day. Latest scandal is campaign mailing list rented to "friend" for discount price. Oh and friend is also paying husband $3 million salary. Very cozy!

I like English phrase, "Skeletons in closet." Clintons are needing, what is phrase? "Walk-in closet" to hold skeletons. And closet is still overflowing.

As for McCain, any "old-man non-logic laced zingers" are likely to work against him, as recent polls are showing Americans lack of enthusiam for giving nuclear launch codes to MAN ON EDGE OF SENILITY.

Example of such "zinger:" Have you see McCain video where he calls me President of Germany, calls me threat to peace while you park missile launchers on my front lawn?

Have you seen Clinton video where she says I have no soul? And this is a woman you expect to improve America's foreign relations with rest of world?

Now Obama, I have looked into his eyes, I have seen his soul. He is good man. He is, what is phrase? "Soul brother?"