Disqus - Latest Comments for victoriarothenberg

Re: How do you react to death of a loved one?

victoriarothenberg — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 09:14:00 -0000

I don't think that the options are only that your friend is callous or that he is well-adjusted. There are a million shades of gray to mourning and loss, and perhaps this is just his first layer. Nor do I think the only legitimate responses to this topic are from people who have lost parents, but since this is my experience, and a topic I have thought long about, I will share my experience as well.

I lost my father when I was 17 very suddenly and my mother when I was 30 after she lost her battle with cancer. My father's death sent me into a tailspin - I was devastated beyond words - I couldn't sleep, eat or concentrate. I had lost my best friend, someone who had always believed in me, and all ability to ever reconcile any issues or show him who I was going to become. My mother's loss was inevitably different: my sisters and I cared for her, we functioned as a mature, responsible team and dealt with all details as necessary. Yes, I was sad, but I never lost my ability to function beyond a moment here and there. But fast forward 6 months, a year and now almost 8 years later, and there are still moments that can devastate, like when my 4 year old daughter (who is named for my mother) brings me a picture and says "I drew this for Grandma, can we please mail it to her? I miss her..."

People said trite things to me when my dad passed away, like time heals all wounds. I discovered that it really doesn't, but it does sometimes give you some space between the moments when the wound feels like it just happened, so sometimes you do feel like it happened a lifetime ago. Perhaps in the end the painting that is my life is more shaded because of these losses, but the colors are brought into sharper relief as well.

Re: The Redskins made my daughter cry...Not cool

victoriarothenberg — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 08:44:02 -0000

I understand the desire to prevent your children from being so sad, but as someone who grew up with a father who was a Red Sox fan (and never lived to see them win a World Series) and a Giants fan (who did eventually win 2 Super Bowls, but until near the end of his life), it isn't so bad rooting for the underdog. You learn a lot about the need to persevere and being a good sport.

Re: When plane chats are good…

victoriarothenberg — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 09:45:01 -0000

I have to admit that I am a shameless watcher of So You Think You Can Dance. This week, a woman auditioned for the show who had lost her hand to cancer, and was back dancing and working to achieve her dreams. The loss clearly changed how she had to balance and move, and it was amazing to watch.

Perseverance does pay off.

Re: Very thoughtful bathroom stall…

victoriarothenberg — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 08:29:10 -0000

This has been popping up for a while, but my favorite are the family bathrooms where you can have all the kids/adults together after a long flight to clean up and get organized.