Disqus - Latest Comments for valeriemondesir

Re: How to Find Passion in Your Career

Valerie Mondesir — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 22:59:26 -0000

In my experience, asking around about an interest you have or talking to the people in the field is good, but not enough. Most people will be biased and go to either extreme: they really like what they do because it fits for them (but it may not fit for you) OR they hate it and will tell you to run away as fast as you can (even if it doesn't necessarily mean you will hate it). Sometimes they just tell you what you want to hear.

What's worked best for me, as you've mentioned, is to find your passion by elimination. In other words, try anything that is remotely interesting to you a few times. Volunteering is one way, but you can take it further ... take a class or two, read a few books, and actually go out and do something pertaining to that interest once or twice (apply it!). I have a lot of trial projects going on right now. Don't invest too much time or money. If you discover you really don't like it, quit and move on to the next thing. No harm, no foul... there's no need to finish every single thing you start.

Sometimes mixing two different interests into a combination interest can be the answer. You may like certain things about different fields and not others ... so mix it up to create an optimal solution. It's easy to find that out if you've tried many things.

This is really great, Monica.. I'm really enjoying these series!

Re: President Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize win proves age matters less than ever in the workplace

Valerie Mondesir — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 16:11:58 -0000

I'm leaning towards Launce's point, here. When I first saw the headline, the first thing that came to my mind was "Well, what exactly did he do to get it?" and his age didn't concern me at all. I believe the last nominations had to be submitted about two weeks or so after his inauguration (correct me if I'm wrong, though).

Obama does have a lot of potential, whether you like him or not, voted for him or not ... there's no argument there.The problem is it's just potential at this point. He's inspired a lot of people but he needs a chance to prove something tangible as a result of all that inspiration.

That said, I see what you're saying: action needs inspiration and the tank is near empty in the inspiration department. So it's nice to see a fresh change from the same old demoralizing political and economic environment we're in now.

Re: Gen Y Blog I Love: Insightfull by Valerie Mondesir

Valerie Mondesir — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 13:12:00 -0000

Oh, my. I'm so flattered that I'm blushing! Thanks so much, Monica ... you have no idea how much this means to me. I remember when I first started reading your blog in February 2009. You're one of the many bloggers out there (more than I can count) who inspired to me to keep on with the blogging, even when I wondered if I was wasting my time.

Thanks again, you truly ROCK! :)

Re: You’re still responsible if you refuse to take responsibility

Valerie Mondesir — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 10:17:50 -0000

You bring up a great point, Karlil. I think there needs to be a balance between being satisfied with who we are and constantly pushing ourselves to do more, more, more all the time. In order to do that, we do need to sit down and ask ourselves what's the point and where we're trying to go.

Re: You’re still responsible if you refuse to take responsibility

Valerie Mondesir — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 10:13:46 -0000

Hi Oscar. Thanks for dropping by!
I'm glad you like it ... I was beginning to give up hope. ;-)

Re: You’re still responsible if you refuse to take responsibility

Valerie Mondesir — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 10:12:55 -0000

Welcome, Misty! Thanks for your comment and encouragement.

I'd like to expand on your comment. Not having money is something that can be felt on so many different levels and I can empathize with the physical suffering/worrying that comes with it. But like you said, the lack of money is more of a mental barrier than anything else. If you don't have money and you continue to point your fingers at someone or something else, guess what? You're still going to be broke! At that point, whose problem does it become? You're still the one getting all the suffering, not the other people.

So yes, it is all about changing your attitude. No one ever said that was easy, but being broke isn't easy either.

Re: Learn to quit with confidence by asking why

Valerie Mondesir — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 23:11:59 -0000

Loved this comment, Glen. I really don't have anything else to add (since you pretty much summed up my thoughts), except that it's a shame you don't already have a blog up by now. ;)

Re: Learn to quit with confidence by asking why

Valerie Mondesir — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 23:10:04 -0000

Hi there, Diggy.

Thanks for the encouragement! I could use it. ;)

Re: On idealism and cynicism: Why it really doesn’t matter

Valerie Mondesir — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 23:05:36 -0000

I refuse to believe that human beings can stick to one label forever and ever. Just like Republicans are never 100% Republican in their beliefs and the same for Democrats, no matter what anyone tells you. Feelings, opinions, goals, and even personalities fluctuate. Nothing is static. The same applies to idealism and cynicism.

There's nothing wrong with being selfless, but here's the problem. If you don't take care of yourself every now and then, then you won't be around long enough to continue with your selfless acts. So yes, a little (positive) selfishness is a necessary part of being selfless. It's all about balance. Some people really are selfless but when they forget to take care of themselves, they become martyrs and there's nothing selfless about that, in my opinion. It's just selfishness in a negative form. Why? Because it's your ego at work saying you can't quit because of (insert lie or excuse here).

You just had to throw Star Wars in there, eh? I was just waiting for it.

Re: Perfection does exist, but not the way we think of it

Valerie Mondesir — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 22:54:50 -0000

Even when it comes to self-defined perfection, it is possible to get so caught up in the 'perfection' part that you miss the whole point and you miss all the little things in life. You look back and wonder if all that internal work 24/7 was really worth it. I just feel that perfection isn't about attaining all that is good; rather it is the good, the bad, and the ugly together in the right mix (depending on the individual). Because good can't exist without bad and vice versa.

For me, perfection is basically about understanding myself for who I am, flaws and all, and working with (or around) what I got, not necessarily trying to "correct" myself.

Re: Why transactional love is important

Valerie Mondesir — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 22:47:29 -0000

Agreed, it's very difficult for both parties in a relationship to grow together in the same relationship. I'm learning though that even in that case, both people are capable of leaving the relationship with something worthwhile: an experience that leads them closer to understanding true love. Even the person who does stay behind initially.

Re: “Hey girlfriend, you need to get rid of those bags.”

Valerie Mondesir — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 22:43:31 -0000

Very funny about Samsonite, Dwight! :)

You have a good point, going to either extreme is bad. I'd say that more people have a hoarding problem (emotionally and otherwise) than not. I know I did and I'm still a work in progress. I'm still grateful I went throw that period of clinging on to emotions and other negative thought patterns because they really helped mold me into who I am today.

Here's to finding (and keeping) those anchored friends you speak of. It's a rocky road, but well worth it. :)

Re: Why transactional love is important

Valerie Mondesir — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:13:56 -0000

Wow, long comment there. :)

Hmm, well I can't argue that real love is not transactional. The point I was trying to drive home in my post is that most people don't start out understanding real love. Most people start out with a rudimentary form of love (e.g. transactional love). "I love my mom because she feeds me... I love my girlfriend/boyfriend because s/he does X." In other words we usually start out needing a reason to love. Some people eventually graduate to real love: love without reason. Unfortunately many of us never graduate.

I feel that being in the transactional love state is not a crime, especially if you learn and grow from it. In that case, transactional love is a step towards something better. Like the way we look at our past mistakes to do better in the future and understand the world better. It makes sense, because isn't love dynamic?

Re: Boredom and lethargy: A sign of the times (and the mind)

Valerie Mondesir — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:05:28 -0000

Definitely, I agree that boredom isn't something to combat all the time. I personally have never been the type of person to push myself 24/7 ... I need my downtime! People who go to either extreme (being bored all the time or pushing themselves all the time) are wearing themselves out.

I can relate: some of my better ideas and thoughts came when I was ready to bash my head on a wall from boredom :)

Re: 101 Ways to Discover Yourself

Valerie Mondesir — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:00:48 -0000

All great suggestions, Glen. Especially #107. Hehe, just kidding ... kind of.

I personally need to try #103 more often.

Re: Hi! I’m Valerie … Nice to meet you …

Valerie Mondesir — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 18:59:37 -0000

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