Disqus - Latest Comments for siraaj

Re: Mathematical Challenges To Darwin’s Theory Of Evolution, With David Berlinski, Stephen Meyer, And David Gelernter

siraaj — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 10:38:41 -0000

Enjoying reading all the comments from the Darwinists, and especially the software engineering analogies. As a software engineer, even the most trivial code needs a designer to first conceive, write, and maintain it. Sufficiently complex systems require not one, but multiple domain experts to insure within itself, the ui, business logic, and backend is consistent, and then that it can survive in the real world via redundancy, security, accessibility, along with bug fixing, publishing, maintenance, documentation, and so much more. One web app will have teams of domain experts across so dozens of domains.

But yeah, randomness thought up a complex universe, earth, and sophisticated human being with consciousness, cognition, language, self-awareness and then some, to say nothing of everything else that exists.

Re: Passion.io

siraaj — Mon, 06 Jan 2020 20:28:17 -0000

Re: What binds Muslims to the Democratic Party?

siraaj — Fri, 10 Aug 2018 20:32:36 -0000

Jacob, the reason is simpler than you think. Pre-9/11, Muslims voted mostly for bush based on social values. Progressives were anomalies.

Post-neo conservative America, liberals stopped hating Muslims as they did in the 90s and Muslims were willing to reach for any ally who wouldn't use law enforcement to unjustly detain or coerce Muslims into various compromised positions.

Re: The Divine Is Within You

siraaj — Mon, 18 Sep 2017 15:05:46 -0000

Salaam alaykum sister,

Whether it's from your own nafs or Shaytan, when doubts creep in your mind about how authentic your practice of faith is in any matter, whether it's hijab or praying five times daily, you don't stop doing it. You renew your intention to do it seeking Allah's Pleasure and continue forward with the action.

If you were truly steady and at peace with your decision, you wouldn't have spent $15k on therapists and life coaches to affirm you and these life decisions. You wouldn't deal with so much rebellion and pain. Life brings challenges and tests, that's what it's all about, but maybe you need to re-frame and take a look at what you've lost and what it's cost by making that decision, the spiritual, emotional, and social.

All I see in your post is a broken person who depends on others to put her back together. I would recommend if you truly wish to understand what Allah wants from you, pray istikhara salaah and ask for guidance.

Re: How To Stop Rape

siraaj — Thu, 04 Feb 2016 17:04:25 -0000

I hate feminism, but this isn't a thought experiment, it's a thoughtless experiment. Your proposal means that even a 100% sober woman who invites a man into her home and unambiguously says no to will have no legal recourse. Your video explanation is just nonsense, only one who seems drugged here is you.

Re: How You Pronounce ‘Muslim’ Tells A Lot About Your Politics

siraaj — Tue, 12 Jan 2016 11:04:41 -0000

I think you're overthinking it. If we take your example hors d'oeuvres, you may not have a perfect french accent, but you still went silent on the 'h' and the 's' rather than pronouncing them.

Additionally, there is no standard pronunciation of the word. Among both the left and right, i have also heard muzlum (short 'u'), moozlim, and then some.

btw, you may notice when many right-leaning pundits and talkers say "Islamophobia", they forget their Z's and somehow say it correctly ;)

Here's Brian Kilmeade on Fox (at about 00:40 sec) literally switching between one and the next:

https://www.youtube.com/wat...

Re: C’mon Muslims, Music is Awesome

siraaj — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 08:23:40 -0000

A lot of us who follow the majority opinion by Muslim scholars that musical instruments are generally forbidden do so because of the textual evidences presented from the ahadith of the Prophet (saw). While there is a minority opinion which doesn't take this stance, this article unfortunately doesn't reflect that point very well and makes it out to be something related to excessive piety. The reasons people give (eg Quran and music don't go together in the heart) are simply reflections in trying to understand what may be some of the reasons behind the prohibition, it is not the foundation of the practice itself.

The other side of it is the lyrics. Empathizing with the intent of the songwriter is simply not enough to justify the lyrics. An art portrait of a naked woman with men reaching for her vagina to demonstrate the objectification of the female form may be trying to send a positive message to society and make a sociopolitical statement, but understanding intent doesn't mean we'll hang it on our wall. We have our limits.

Re: Good Guests Make Bad Builders

siraaj — Sun, 27 Jul 2014 09:06:06 -0000

Salaam alaykum sister Dalia,

While I agree with your sentiments about being able to pray publicly and not "self-censor" so to speak, I don't think we should hold an "either / or" mentality in this situation - either we are practicing our faith irrespective of others, or we're hiding it and being considerate. I think we can accommodate both.

As an example, when I travel, I often have connecting flights in locations that do not have prayer rooms or chapels, or I can't find them, or they're too difficult to reach. If I'm in such a situation, I will approach the airport staff directly, explain to them I am Muslim and I'm looking for a prayer room to pray my daily prayers. In some cases, they can direct me to the designated area for worshipers. In other cases where that is not possible, I ask that person if there is a location that isn't busy where I can pray. In some cases, I may pray in an empty gate, or in others I may pray in an empty area where they've pointed out will be best.

The key here is that I am neither compromising or self-censoring myself, nor am I failing to recognize the reality that this is neither my airport (or building, or whatever) or that people are genuinely afraid. By approaching the staff first, I create a dawah opportunity, I humanize myself, I prevent them from seeing me as a threat, and I also pray. Publicly.

I agree that we should not self-censor, but I think we should also be able to empathize and create pragmatic, practical solutions that are considerate of our situation. I think we can both pray publicly and show consideration for our fellow community members who are still learning about us.

Siraaj

Re: Android KitKat 4.4.4 update causes problems on the Motorola Moto X

siraaj — Wed, 23 Jul 2014 10:56:47 -0000

Got a droid maxx, this phone is top of the line in battery life, with 4.4.4 update, keeping it on WiFi only, it's draining even faster than 4g mode on previous version.

On the bright side, it's blazing fast :)

Still, need to address this though, bought this phone for battery life and butter interface

Re: Ramadan 2014 – Is Ramadan Morphing into A Meaningless Holiday Season?

siraaj — Mon, 07 Jul 2014 08:53:13 -0000

As long as we're fasting, praying, reading Quran, staying away from debate, and remaining generally productive, i think the festive side is good, especially in the West. I'm always struck by how our counterparts in the east view our Ramadan as lackluster by their standards and tends to be festive all 30 days (though I'm not in favor of the "sleep all day, eat all night" lifestyle prevalent in certain parts of the Muslim world).

Re: Give Muhammad a Chance

siraaj — Wed, 07 May 2014 14:33:04 -0000

LOL, if you insist:

1. Gog and Magog: Dunno, we'll find out soon enough.

2. Anti-christ: At one point, don't know if that's still the case.

3. Not in my theology.

4. Sahih Muslim? Collateral damage. Read the hadeeth before forbidding intentional targeting.

5. Cutting down trees? Not sure.

6. Coitus Interruptus: Halal

7. Angels and puppies - scared, no. they just don't enter, same with houses with pictures hanging (it's in the same hadith, look it up). Killing of purely black dogs, some scholars have said it's to be done.

8. Hudood laws: all of it, in a land that is run by shari'ah, not in lands other than that.

9. Hanging from hair: I've read about it in dhahabi's book of major sins, haven't read the actual hadeeth, can't find the reference, so can't confirm or deny. But if the Prophet (SAW) it, it's true, but if not, then not, doesn't really matter to me.

10. Inheritance laws: what about them?

11. plucking eyebrows: not allowed.

12. Marital rape: some scholars have allowed this unfortunately, but it's not allowed.

*yawn* is that all you got? I like this statement:

"you are not responsible for any injustices you yourself don't commit. but is interesting that you support an ideology that leads to atrocities?"

You live in the US, you pay taxes, therefore you support this nation. You must therefore support all the atrocities, murder, and injustice committed by the US government worldwide, my almost southern, libertarian, atheist, german-origin'ed friend. The Constitution is therefore a document that leads to atrocities, as is democracy and capitalism, and apparently, being white. Surprised you haven't moved to a land where the ideology doesn't lead to atrocity =) But hey, if you don't like it, I guess you can leave it ;)

Re: Give Muhammad a Chance

siraaj — Tue, 06 May 2014 13:45:05 -0000

LOL, if you want to continue lobbing grenades at Muslim governments, countries, political movements, and people, you can. You only illustrate my original point that people are imperfect, some more so than others - we can carry on about how a number of western secular european nations are criminalizing religious clothing as violating the secular identity of said nations (who do you think turkey stole this idea from?)

Re: Fairy-tale column and Buraq, isn't it strange that you attempted to condemn me for Muslims holding a position of salvific exclusivity and being intolerant, yet here you are making fun of belief system when you have no response. I don't mind you holding whatever beliefs you have of my faith, just don't begrudge me my own belief system.

Re: Imam al-Ghazzali, it's a bit much (and simpleminded) to place the brunt of modern-day socio-political ills of the Muslim world on 'ash'arite theology of all things. While I'm not a proponent of that school of sunni theology myself, I don't see the use of atomism, occasionalism, and other pseudo-theological constructs as the framework by which laypeople fall into decadence and debauchery - most people don't even know what that means, then and now. Empires rise and fall for various reasons throughout history.

I appreciate all the attacks btw. Go ahead and tell me which ethnicity, belief-system / religion, and country you're from and let me lay all the injustices that occur among all 3 groups you affiliate with at your feet or at the feet of the underlying principles. Then let me say, "and this is you" and we'll see how well you stand up to that scrutiny ;)

Re: Give Muhammad a Chance

siraaj — Mon, 05 May 2014 20:57:46 -0000

Yes, shirk is unforgivable if a person dies on it. However, scholars have also opined that if a person dies on it but did not have the opportunity to learn about Islam or it wasn't presented correctly, they will be given a chance to prove themselves on the day of judgment itself. How many cases that can apply to truly, only Allah (swt) knows.

Re: privileged societies, let me add privileged classes within privileged societies, as not everyone can drop between $400 - $2000 for such testing. It's a narrow scope of individuals who can do that. As mentioned earlier, the law itself doesn't try to figure out who is doing what in the privacy of their own homes. A married man with no witness including himself really can't do anything.

Re: not sure about the translation.

Re: abrogated removed ayahs, it's well-established by the scholars of Islam that during the time of revelation itself laws were made and abrogated, and verses were also not only abrogated as law and removed. In some cases, the law itself remained in place while verse was abrogated.

The key difference between what I'm stating and what Rushdie is stating is that the changes that were occurring were part of the 23 revelatory process and ordained by Allah (swt) Himself. What Rushdie said was that certain ayahs were revealed allowing the worship of 3 stone idol gods because iblis tricked the Prophet (SAW) and when this was realized, they were removed. What we believe is no such verses were revealed. The fatwa was issued by the shi'ite clerics in Iran, not Sunnis so I can't speak much since I'm sunni and not shi'ite.

If you're further interested, do a google search on the topic of "rajam" and you'll find some good discussions on the verse and why the Prophet (SAW) opted not to write it, yet it remains by consensus as part of law.

Re: current affairs, the story just broke. We do like to wait a bit to get all the facts as muslims in particular tend to bear the brunt of a number of strange, media concocted stories, such as the fatwas coming out of different areas. Having said that, this doesn't mean the story is false, only that we're waiting to see what comes of it before commenting.

Re: western civilization and advancement, you can thank the Muslims of the past for that. Like all great empires, they stagnated and have returned to cultural backwardness. we are also taught in our faith that even if people are nonMuslim but if they are just, they will be successful, at least in the here and now, and those who are unjust will not be. We are keenly aware that despite their problems, overall the west is more just than the many of our muslim nations, with notable exceptions like malaysia and perhaps turkey.

Re: Give Muhammad a Chance

siraaj — Mon, 05 May 2014 18:52:00 -0000

Re: abrogation, Yes, most Christians do follow that, but the God who legislated the law didn't change. Would also recommend the works of Dr. Bart Ehrman on textual criticism, in particular the story about not stoning the prostitute, it's considered a later edition and not part of the original texts. Not saying abrogation doesn't happen, btw, only that may not be relevant here.

Re: Remember that Islamic law has been around over 1400 years and must be relevant in all contexts, including those without recourse to such technologies. In privileged societies some of what you've mentioned is an option, but even in a modern setting, such technologies are out of reach of the majority of people worldwide. I do know about the issue with eyewitness accounts, especially in volatile emotionally high-strung situations, however people in diverse situations have to work with the best resources they have available, CSI is not an option for many.

Re: Not sure where I mentioned Asad's translation, my quotes are from the Sahih International translation. The Qur'an contains multiple ayahs that were abrogated, some of which remained in the Qur'an and others which were removed. In rare cases, the text of the verse was abrogated, but the ruling remained on. In the case of stoning the adulterer, the verse was removed but the ruling remained and was practiced in the generations following. So technically, if the rep said what he said, he's correct.

Re: website, make sure to avail yourself of the search function.

Re: Give Muhammad a Chance

siraaj — Mon, 05 May 2014 17:22:59 -0000

Re: worldwide injustices from Muslims, in the name of Islam, but not islamic, please see muslimmatters.org. While I cannot personally cover every topic, we have a good number of writers putting in the work on various topics. Fact is we're always looking for writers, but there is a dearth of people who can speak with authority on topics, and we're not looking for cut-and-paste media hearsay.

Re: pregnancy, yes, you are correct that pregnancy is also a means, my response was related to people who do such and there is no pregnancy. If there is pregnancy, and it can be proven that the pregnancy was from the adulterous relationship, then again, in theory stoning is where it would go, but if you're in an ethnically homogenous society, that can be difficult to prove. Even in the case where it is not, it can be difficult to prove, as evidenced in the following hadeeth:

Sahih Bukhari Book 92. Holding Fast to the Qur'an and Sunnah

Narrated By Abu Huraira : A bedouin came to Allah's Apostle and said, "My wife has delivered a black boy, and I suspect that he is not my child." Allah's Apostle said to him, "Have you got camels?" The bedouin said, "Yes." The Prophet said, "What color are they?" The bedouin said, "They are red." The Prophet said, "Are any of them Grey?" He said, "There are Grey ones among them." The Prophet said, "Whence do you think this color came to them?" The bedouin said, "O Allah's Apostle! It resulted from hereditary disposition." The Prophet said, "And this (i.e., your child) has inherited his color from his ancestors." The Prophet did not allow him to deny his paternity of the child.

In a non-marital relationship, that may be easier to prove, but the punishment there isn't lashing. In any event, this doesn't change (and actually somewhat reinforces) my original statement - while the laws are to be implemented, implementation is not made easy. Bear mind that if someone shows up accusing a woman of adultery and cannot produce four witnesses, they are the ones to be lashed for the accusation. So imagine if you will 2 men (not the husband) catch see a woman committing adultery - the law does not permit them to bring it up.

Re: The US is an oligarchy, you can read the following study: http://www.princeton.edu/~m...

Re: We consider the law of Allah perfect and in need of no amendment, but we believe that people and the way systems are implemented are imperfect and always in need of improvement.

Re: witnesses, I said reliable, not righteous. You can read of a good number of incidents in the following article which covers the topic "The Rights of non-Muslims under Muslim Rule: The Right to Justice", both parts 1 and 2.

Re: Who is better, Muslim shooters or atheists, firstly none can judge except Allah (swt) and so I can't tell you who is and isn't better. However, what I can say is that an atheist who is doing well for people is doing something better than what a shooter, Muslim or not, is doing when they kill innocents. How the sum total of their lives is calculated is beyond me. What we can say is that we're told that the way to increase in nobility and stature, intrinsic self-worth, is not by our gender, ethnicity, nationality, wealth, and such, but by our obedience to Allah (swt). Murdering innocents is not obedience, even if it's intended to be so.

Finally, re: the White Hindu, that may or may not be the case, I would say it depends on what the recognized thought leaders of that religion, past and present, have to say about the issue. On issues that tend not to change with time, it's easy to tell when amendments and re-interpretation is added to conform to the surrounding culture and compromised self-interests, it happens with all faiths, it's why your typical christian doesn't know that stoning was occurring even in their faith for adultery.

Re: Give Muhammad a Chance

siraaj — Mon, 05 May 2014 00:06:13 -0000

Also, one point that came to mind about that case, it appears the court acted as though it could not determine if it was rape or consensual, so the men were lashed and so on. However, rape is a crime of a different order, and I'll have to return to the books and look it up, but I do not believe they require witnesses (although it certainly helps) and rapists are executed in shari'ah law.

Re: Give Muhammad a Chance

siraaj — Mon, 05 May 2014 00:00:24 -0000

Ah, the facade of a calm, reasonable tone is beginning to crack. Let me be clear, I'm not an apologist who wants to sugarcoat the more difficult aspects of shari'ah for a secular western humanist leaning audience. I believe in living on principle and speaking without political spinning, although I don't mind offering easily understood analogies. Since you've not responded to my point about man's imperfection vs God's perfection of law, we'll table that until you can think some more on it, or you can concede that was poor argument, your choice ;)

Re: people who don't worship God are of little value, the ayah says the most noble of people are those who are most righteous. Tell me, if I tell you that Bill Gates has the highest net worth, does that mean all the people in the middle class, upper middle class, or somewhat wealthy are of no value? Absolutely not. However, the purpose for which we are created is to worship Allah (swt) as stated in Qur'an:

"And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me." [51:56]

Those who fulfill that purpose are the most noble.

Re: the video, as I mentioned, when people abuse the system, the people are the problem, not the system. A report was just released that America is officially an oligarchy although it is supposed to be a democracy, shall we say democracy is wrong despite the ever hyped checks and balances, or would we say the people abusing the system is wrong? This point is pretty clear, I would think.

I'm not familiar with the specifics of how criminal justice is implemented in modern Muslim countries, but I do know during the time of the Prophet (SAW) and during the time of the 4 Caliphs following him, whatever cases were brought before them in which a nonMuslim brought forward a dispute with a Muslim, they won whenever it was clear they were in the right. I can provide you with those incidents if you like.

Re: male and female witnesses, in some cases the female witness is not just equal, but she is also superior to the male witness and her word will be taken over a male's.

Re: nonMuslims can't testify because they're dirty, you seem to be reading things in that were not said by myself. It's not for me to judge people, it's for Allah (swt). I deal with people the way I've been taught in my faith and by my parents - to deal with them kindly, justly, fairly, and with good cheer. To be ethical with the people I deal with, and principled.

I accept that people of other faiths such as Christianity and Judaism believe in salvific exclusivity for their people, that Hindus have a caste system that puts brahmans at the top and dhalits at the bottom and considers them filthy, that atheists believe I am a follower of man-made fairy-tales that cause wars and destruction while turning a blind eye to the wars brought about by secular greed.

Despite what all people believe of me because I am not like them, I accept their beliefs and so long as they don't harm me, I don't think each one's idea of holding exclusively to the truth negates my ability to deal well with them and really not to think twice about it in day-to-day dealings, to work with them in common causes to help the downtrodden, to stand up against injustice irrespective of who perpetrates it, either from outside or from within.

I do hope you have a better understanding, and hope you find a way to overcome the negativity that's taken hold of you.

Re: Give Muhammad a Chance

siraaj — Sun, 04 May 2014 18:53:33 -0000

Re: a deterrent that is never implemented, not true as it was implemented by those who confessed. What it deters is making public such behavior, what occurs in the privacy of one's home, if not confessed, is not implemented, it is between them and Allah (swt), for them to repent and change themselves if they care. If they don't, they'll be dealt with later.

Re: God's laws being written poorly, your statement is illogical. A system that is put into practice by people who don't follow it correctly doesn't mean the system is wrong or imperfect or written poorly. As an example, if I were to give you an eating and training plan to help you lose weight, and you never followed it, you cheated in your eating habits, can you then complain there is something wrong with the system when you never attempted it, or shortcut it, or avoided implementing it?

Our life in this world is considered a test - the human being and the jinn are the only creation in possession of free will, allowing them to either choose to worship or not. There is no assumption that perfect people will implement the law, only that imperfect people will try their best, and when they fail will turn to Allah in repentance. Where people don't care, those who are good have to try to change their situation with what is within their circle of influence to affect (if you see evil, change it with your hand, if you can't, then with your tongue, and if not even that much, then at least hate it with your heart).

As for the statement (the "LOL) about a person's value, their inherent inferiority or superiority, Allah (swt) tells us in the Qur'an the most noble of us is the most righteous of us:

"O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted." [49:13]

Re: Give Muhammad a Chance

siraaj — Sat, 03 May 2014 11:27:16 -0000

Hi badtooth, yes, with respect to someone attempting to bring a case against someone else. For example, we have the story in the Qur'an of the man who came claiming to have seen his wife with another man on top of her, and the Prophet (SAW) told the man to either bring the requisite witnesses or be flogged. It was then that verses were revealed to deal with such a situation - that the man could swear to having seen the truth and invoke the curse of Allah upon himself if lying, and that the woman could do likewise to avert punishment to herself, and after this their case is with Allah (swt).

While Islam has not done away with the Hadd punishment and while it is carried out, confessions were turned away or delayed during the time of the Prophet (SAW). This "avoidance" of the Prophet (SAW) has given certain Muslim scholars (not all) a predisposition towards finding technicalities in Islamic law to avoid carrying out the Hadd, such as seeing something on video vs being live, not considering genetic testing the same as witnessing, and so on.

There is an element of truth to what was said above, that the punishments were not meant to be carried out in that the requirement to find 4 reliable witnesses who viewed adultery (or even two) in the case of fornication is very difficult. Our laws are such that if one is sinning and keeps their sin private and away from society, then that is between them and Allah (swt) to work out. Unfortunately, as with any law or system, if good people are in it, it will work well, and if corrupt people are heading it, it will fail, a truism not just for shari'ah law, but any system (democracy, communism, a business, etc). It must be acknowledged that a good number of eastern cultures have put women in a place where any harm that comes to them is their fault, a dishonoring of their family name, and as such she should take the brunt of everything. Often women who are raped are then brought in court and two witnesses are brought forward then claim to have seen her fornicate, and she's the one who is flogged or killed either by the courts, her family, and society.

Posts such as mine on muslimmatters.org (which was quoted) aim at bringing us back to viewing women as human beings as our religion makes clear they are and remind people that any person's value, male or female, is in their worship of God, not their gender. Inherent superiority or inferiority is not a function of gender in our faith.

Re: Give Muhammad a Chance

siraaj — Fri, 25 Apr 2014 17:58:08 -0000

1. the penal laws in our faith are only enforced if there are witnesses to the crime, both for pre-marital sex and adultery. No witnesses, no punishment.
2. They don't have to repent publicly.
3. If they live in lands that do not judge by islamic law, the point is moot. It is only done by the government, not vigilante justice or privately among faith communities.

Our concept of repentance is pretty straightforward. Regret, repent, and make your best effort to not return to your indiscretion, whatever it is. If you mess up again, rinse and repeat until you get it right or die trying. God is Most Merciful, and takes into account both our intentions and our actions. If we truly are trying to break away from something but failing, God knows our effort and forgives us so long as we're truly intentionally giving it our best (as opposed to someone who takes for granted God's Mercy and says, "God's merciful, he'll forgive me, so I'll do what I want").

So on the born again thing, it's like a bunch of mini-born agains for whatever the indiscretion was =)

Re: Give Muhammad a Chance

siraaj — Fri, 25 Apr 2014 15:55:52 -0000

Not at all. While it's true that people who continue along such behavior are considered as such, people who sincerely regret the action and turn to God in repentance and don't return to that are not considered as such.

From what I've learned from Muslim scholars, it's speaking about present state, not past state, in the same way a person may have been a polytheist, but is no longer one (also mentioned in the verse).

Re: Give Muhammad a Chance

siraaj — Fri, 25 Apr 2014 10:52:04 -0000

Walaykum as salaam sister Jocelyn,

My apologies for causing any undue harm, as that was not my intent. I am also married to a revert (10 years now, alhamdulillah, and we just had our fourth child), and it was funny because when she approached me for marriage, I had no interest in knowing the details of her previous relationships, and beyond knowing she was engaged before marrying me, I had not asked. Nonetheless, she told me from the outset she was like your friend, so I'm not unaware of the phenomenon of reverts who protected that aspect of their chastity.

On the other hand, I have also been the wali of other female reverts who ran into this issue. We had an excellent Muslim sister masha'Allah, in every respect who was about to marry and somehow this brother decided to ask at the last moment about her previous relationships and found out that in high school she had lost her virginity and a few days later ended the engagement. I spent a good deal of time arguing with the brother, explaining that the ayaat in the Qur'an "the chaste for the chaste" is not referring to this sister as, one, she is a convert and her sins are wiped clean, and two, even if she was not a convert, those who repent and turn away from their past are not among those considered "unchaste", so to speak. My mentioning of this point as an example is because it's unfortunately one of many recurring themes when our convert sisters attempt to marry immigrant and second generation muslims.

There is a difference between a stereotype and a generalization. A stereotype places a particular characteristic on all individuals while a generalization points out trends in the analyzed data set. That western teens are sexually active in some way, shape, or form throughout their high school years is well-documented, irrespective of gender, ethnicity, or religion. In my view, this will not change anytime soon, and no matter how much we wish it were not the case, convert Muslim women will continue to run into this question so long as we continue to place such a high premium on virginity at the cost of looking into other factors. We can pretend that this is not the case under the guise of political correctness, or we can acknowledge the issue exists and think of solutions to change our cultural attitudes long-term.

As an example, I believe the problem we have with virginity is inherent in your question - could I be less insulting? The problem is that we consider a lack of virginity insulting. I don't think it's insulting to not have it, or to have lost it, whether it was in or out of marriage. A person's value isn't in their virginity, it's in their taqwa of Allah (swt), so to begin with, I don't accept that narrative or any type of language that either actively or (unintentionally) passively moves that idea forward. The only one who judges taqwa is Allah (swt) - after that, we are all brothers and sisters in faith and we should not consider someone lower than ourselves because of something in their past.

So in my view, we do have to acknowledge reality. When we do that, we can begin speaking openly, honestly, and providing solutions. For one, we can start to deconstruct this notion that virginity is somehow all a woman is worth. For another, we can start teaching Muslims to have better manners in asking such questions and having husn adh-dhann.

Those are my thoughts, and I apologize again if anything I've said has come off as insulting in any way, as this is not my intent.

Re: Give Muhammad a Chance

siraaj — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 14:56:43 -0000

Salaam alaykum sister Rabia,

Appreciate the link to my article =) I share your concerns about the way our sisters are spoken of if they are post-relationship (whether they were converts who had previous relationships outside of marriage, divorcees, widows, etc) and would like it if those stigmas were removed, that marrying them should not be sold by the imams in our community as "taking one for the team", so to speak.

Culturally, in my own experience, we tend towards an unhealthy obsession with female virginity which can be as benign (if you can call it that) as not considering someone for marriage to something malignant (like honor killings).

My own piece's intent was to divorce (pun intended) our faith from such cultural baggage by pointing out the scriptural justifications some were using to justify their positions on virginity were unfounded in the practice of the Prophet (SAW). The mention of khadijah (ra) in the quoted portion was to demonstrate that there was no virginity obsession when the decision was made, nor was it a point of contention post-Prophethood when every excuse possible was made to malign him (saw).

That doesn't take away all the positives about her you mentioned, of course, and her own place in society =) But the quoted portion was meant to give pause to those who would dismiss a woman simply because she had a previous relationship or childen.

Siraaj

Re: Are Converts News?

siraaj — Fri, 06 Dec 2013 22:59:13 -0000

I think conversion stories belong to that person, but it's up to that person to determine if it remains a private matter or it's shared with the public.

Re: Why I Participated in the ‘Somewhere in America’ #Mipsterz Video

siraaj — Thu, 05 Dec 2013 17:38:37 -0000

May Allah (swt) ease your struggles. Holding tight to one's islamic identity is no easy task when the invitations are everywhere to let it go and go with the flow, so to speak.

One of my own du'aas is that I ask Allah (swt) to make me what He wants me to be, irrespective of who likes it or where that takes me, and to make me strong enough to handle it if I'm not.

I've found it beneficial as it leaves me in the position of seeking knowledge and attempting to practice with the expectation that Allah (swt) will guide my decisions since I'm sincere in my heart about it and I'm taking action by seeking.

I share it with you and hope you find it beneficial as well, insha'Allah.

Siraaj