Disqus - Latest Comments for shakesville

Re: The End of This Road

Melissa McEwan — Sun, 25 Aug 2019 23:23:16 -0000

Thank you so very, very much for all the kind messages, everyone. I am feeling quite overwhelmed by all the lovely sentiments; it feels a little bit like being at my own funeral. I have only just started beginning to process everything, and it’s going to take me awhile, so forgive me if this comment feels inadequate.

A number of items have come up here in comments and in emails, so I wanted to address those quickly:

1. I will leave this thread open until a couple of days after I originally said I would return from break, and then I will close it sometime that week (and put up the post that will stay at the top of the page). I hope now it won’t feel like an abrupt surprise when commenting is closed.

2. A bunch of folks have reached out expressing hope that I will keep seeking answers about my health issues (or concern that I won’t) now that I said I’m feeling somewhat better, and I want to assure you that I am indeed still avidly pursuing answers. Frankly, feeling a little bit better has given me the energy I need to schedule and attend doctors’ appointments, and wrangle with insurance, so having days where I can function well is giving me renewed determination to get to the bottom of this constellation of problems.

I’m also working on getting well in therapy. I’ve realized, after a month of distance, how much of myself I’ve had to shut down in order to keep doing this work that I loved, despite relentless abuse. Now I’ve got to do the hard work of recovering those pieces. It took a long time for me to get so far away from myself, and it’s going to take a long time to get back. I’m committed to doing that work, which is vitally important self-care.

3. People have asked if it’s okay to still email me things that they think I might like. Yes! Do stay in touch! And if you’re ever in the area and want to meet, feel welcome to extend me an invitation. I like coffee! ;)

4. My abundant gratitude to everyone who has made a farewell donation and/or offered to extend their subscriptions for awhile. I am so thankful for your generosity. I have no idea how long it might take me to get well enough that I can drive again, or if I ever will, or what I’ll do next, so my future is a giant question mark. It’s pretty terrifying, and your support is an enormous help. And an unexpected one. Thank you. ♥

Also: I am working my way through all of your emails, and sending responses to each one. It will take me awhile, so please bear with me if you’ve taken the time to send me a lovely note or donation and I haven’t yet replied.

Thank you for everything. For expecting more with me, and of me. You made me a better person. Keep expecting more of this world, and be kind to yourselves.

I miss you all already. I’ll never get over the good things that happened here.

Re: National Press Largely Fails to Cover Pro-Immigrant Protests

Melissa McEwan — Tue, 16 Jul 2019 17:10:30 -0000

@Marissa123 It is very isolating, as you say. Along with making someone doubt their own mind, that's one of the primary objectives of gaslighting. Which is precisely what this is.

Re: Trump Is a F#@king Racist, Part One Zillion in an Endless Series

Melissa McEwan — Tue, 16 Jul 2019 08:54:28 -0000

@Craig_Ranapia Your reply to me has been removed because using the reply function is a violation of the commenting policy. We ask commenters to use the @[handle] alternative instead so we can maintain flat threads for readers with visual processing disorders and for ease of moderation. Please feel welcome to resubmit your comment using the non-nested reply option. Thanks!

Re: Nancy Pelosi, Please Do Something Real

Melissa McEwan — Tue, 16 Jul 2019 08:50:54 -0000

@Janice There are plenty of meaningful actions that Pelosi could be taking which would be far more effective than a resolution. Pretending like that's not the case, especially in order to accuse a person who is an expert in U.S. government and politics of not knowing the most basic thing about government, is some real bullshit.

And, honestly, anyone who's going around astroturfing Pelosi defenses implying that she can't do anything meaningful because there's a Republican Senate majority, while children are being tortured in concentration camps, should be fucking ashamed of themselves.

Re: What I'm Watching

Melissa McEwan — Mon, 15 Jul 2019 16:02:54 -0000

@Rebecca DeSantis I really liked the first season of Mindhunter a lot. Didn't even know the second season had been released, so thank you for that!

Re: Trump Is a F#@king Racist, Part One Zillion in an Endless Series

Melissa McEwan — Mon, 15 Jul 2019 10:51:17 -0000

@Craig_Ranapia I have no idea why every media outlet on Earth doesn't drop this historical truth bomb...

I don't expect that the reason the media is refusing to make that case is because it's indecent and cedes the argument to Trump, but that is nonetheless a compelling reason that none of us should be making that case.

Also, I moderated your comment to replace the dehumanizing language of nativists with an acceptable phrase. I understand you were replicating their language to make a point, but that speaks to the very reason why we shouldn't embrace Trump's tactics to use against him: Readers of this space who are dehumanized by that language may still be triggered by it (especially after encountering it in a comment you did not bother to content note as warning), regardless of your intentions in deploying it.

Re: Recommended Reading + Programming Note

Melissa McEwan — Mon, 15 Jul 2019 09:07:57 -0000

Thanks so, so much for the donation, @Suzy.

Thank you for the kind and encouraging words, all.

♥

Re: Daily Dose of Cute

Melissa McEwan — Fri, 12 Jul 2019 09:01:33 -0000

@Chicken Tenders Nope, Harry never talked, beyond saying "hello." He would "converse" with you, in that if you made sounds at him (talking, cooing, whistling), he would make sounds back, but he wasn't a natural mimic.

Re: The Self-Care Thread

Melissa McEwan — Thu, 11 Jul 2019 15:53:17 -0000

I'm going to try to go to bed early tonight, because I've been staying up far too late, and it's catching up with me.

Re: Daily Dose of Cute

Melissa McEwan — Thu, 11 Jul 2019 15:20:53 -0000

@Chicken Tenders When Iain and I met, he had a yellow budgie named Harry, whom he loved very much and who was such a sweet bird. Iain had also taught him tricks, which was highly adorable.

Re: We Resist: Day 903

Melissa McEwan — Thu, 11 Jul 2019 14:32:34 -0000

https://twitter.com/Shakest...

Re: Primarily Speaking

Melissa McEwan — Thu, 11 Jul 2019 13:31:58 -0000

@SKM Per her Wikipedia entry, McGrath’s own husband did not vote for her in the primary in 2016 because he refused to re-register as a Democrat even for a day. Her own husband. That is what she’s up against in KY.

WOW.

Re: Primarily Speaking

Melissa McEwan — Thu, 11 Jul 2019 12:53:51 -0000

@gina_m @Adam Jones Amy McGrath definitely flubbed the question about Kavanaugh, however, in my typical fashion, I will note that what we should expect of progressive candidates is that they progress, so I'm glad she quickly arrived on the right side of the issue and not only apologized but acknowledged that her original mistake, which is the result of disappointing unpreparedness, was hurtful.

I also note how lots of folks are far less forgiving of a female senatorial candidate new to politics flubbing a question than of, say, a young white male mayor who's running for a much higher office.

The double standards to which McGrath are being held are already infuriating. (And should infuriate anyone who cares about misogyny, irrespective of whether they like McGrath as a candidate.)

I'm also, for example, getting all kinds of "SHE'S PRO-TRUMP" bullshit in my mentions anytime I talk about her, because she said that Trump broke his promises to Kentucky voters and she will deliver on them, as if Trump's promises of jobs and healthcare are somehow not ideas that progressives embrace. She's also being accused of being "pro-Trump" for saying if Trump ever had any good ideas, she'd support them, which is classic damning with faint praise.

No one would mistake what she was saying if, for example, Bernie said it. Bernie has literally said that Trump's right on trade, which he isn't, and still no one howls about how Bernie is "pro-Trump."

Nor should they. Because he isn't. And neither is McGrath.

It's truly alarming the dispensations that are made for white men in the presidential race with longer (sometimes much longer) political careers than McGrath, while she is immediately "canceled" for one mistake and bad faith interpretations of an argument that is, IMO, pretty savvy when she's got to appeal to Kentucky's conservative electorate.

Re: Primarily Speaking

Melissa McEwan — Thu, 11 Jul 2019 12:41:10 -0000

@Fannie Wolfe it ignores the fact that racial injustice upended the American Project from the very fucking beginning

Exactly! Like I said: What does Pete Buttigieg's lifetime have to do with racial justice? That not only ignores how long racial injustice has existed and how long BIPOC and their allies have been fighting it, but also that it is likely to take longer than his lifetime to dismantle ancient systems of oppression.

Re: Open Thread

Melissa McEwan — Thu, 11 Jul 2019 11:21:02 -0000

@Sodoff Baldrick That is incorrect: "A spokesperson for the USSS says President Clinton has never declined protection and has always been accompanied by his detail."

That's from the Secret Service, not from Bill Clinton.

https://twitter. com/yashar/status/1149116360431194113

Re: Primarily Speaking

Melissa McEwan — Thu, 11 Jul 2019 11:19:38 -0000

@Sodoff Baldrick Your comment has been removed because it is not on-topic for this thread. You are also not welcome to spam multiple threads with comments on the subjects of your choosing, because there isn't an on-topic thread.

Re: The Shaker HALP! Thread

Melissa McEwan — Thu, 11 Jul 2019 09:46:53 -0000

@BellsBromeliad Seconding the suggestion to schedule a time to talk about stuff.

I also recommend coming up with a safe word (or phrase) that can serve as shorthand for, "This is getting too heated; I need a moment to cool off before we continue." The agreement shouldn't be that the safe word stops conversation, but that it creates a pause and diffuses tension when a conversation is getting too heated and thus unproductive.

And, FWIW, I've found that an absurd word or phrase can be helpful. All the better if you makes you both laugh as soon as it's invoked.

I believe I've mentioned here before that Iain and I use "Engelbert Humperdinck!" :)

Re: Have I Mentioned...

Melissa McEwan — Wed, 10 Jul 2019 16:26:46 -0000

@Renee Your reply to @aunt pickle has been removed because using the reply function is a violation of the commenting policy. We ask commenters to use the @[handle] alternative instead so we can maintain flat threads for readers with visual processing disorders and for ease of moderation. Please feel welcome to resubmit your comment using the non-nested reply option. Thanks!

Re: Primarily Speaking

Melissa McEwan — Wed, 10 Jul 2019 11:56:52 -0000

@M T Sure. Edited.

Re: Primarily Speaking

Melissa McEwan — Wed, 10 Jul 2019 11:32:53 -0000

@Jenni Accepted with gratitude! ~hug~

Re: The Shaker HALP! Thread

Melissa McEwan — Wed, 10 Jul 2019 10:18:59 -0000

@moseyalong I wouldn't consider it rude; personally, I love knowing what people want and need for a housewarming gift!

Because registries aren't typical for a housewarming party, you could make the registry, but not include it on the invite or make it public. If and when anyone inquires about gifts, you could then let them know you're registered for a few items.

That might be a good middle ground. No one will feel obliged by the registry, but people who want to get you something and care enough to ask will be helpfully directed to the exact items you want and need.

Re: We Resist: Day 901

Melissa McEwan — Wed, 10 Jul 2019 08:52:29 -0000

Thanks, @Uncle_Ebeneezer!

Re: The Shaker HALP! Thread

Melissa McEwan — Tue, 09 Jul 2019 16:22:17 -0000

@roseyrey Having read the synopsis of Out of My Mind, it sounds as though The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time might be of interest.

Re: We Resist: Day 901

Melissa McEwan — Tue, 09 Jul 2019 15:20:06 -0000

At Bloomberg: "Barr Won’t Recuse Himself from New Case Against Jeffrey Epstein."

Of course he won't.

https://www.bloomberg.com/n...

Re: Gentleman Jack Recap: Season 1 Finale ("Are You Still Talking?")

Melissa McEwan — Tue, 09 Jul 2019 12:21:11 -0000

Best recap yet!

Thanks so much for this series, Fannie! ♥