Disqus - Latest Comments for sensuouswife

Re: The Big Deal About Sex Scandals, Joe Paterno & the Bigger Picture

Sensuous Wife — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 08:44:11 -0000

Go Gina, go!
The thought of retired Navy Seals using their skilled minds, physical strength, and lion-brave hearts to rescue kids out of that terrible web makes me punch my first in the air and say Yess! I'm such a fan of the masculine heart. Thanks to you, I now have a compelling powerful positive image to focus on when I intercede. When I pray, I picture the Rescuers going behind enemy lines to steal the Beloved back from the Oppressor and carrying them to the Healers who will wrap them in a soft blanket of healing and tender mercy.

For 18 years, I've been walking in healing from childhood sexual abuse. I love helping women grow from victim to survivor then thriver!

Re: I’m sorry – “Affair-proof” was not the best word…

Sensuous Wife — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 16:55:06 -0000

Thank you darlin

Re: I’m sorry – “Affair-proof” was not the best word…

Sensuous Wife — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 15:09:13 -0000

Gina,
Thank you for hearing my heart. Guarantee? No.
Do I believe faithful marriage is possible?
Oh yes I do! (big smile) My parents marriage convinced me. 45 years and still madly in love.

I believe in faithful marriage enough that I'm willing to put on a gorgeous white dress and marry again.
4 reasons why I believe my second husband will remain faithful to me:

1) He will have a heart that fears the Lord. The very idea of welching on God like that would turn his stomach.

2) He will have a healthy self love and a healthy self respect that demands he behave in a way he can proud of.

3) He will know that were he to choose to cheat the consequences would be an immediate total and permanent loss of my heart my body and my physical presence. Since my husband and I will agree on how precious worthy and valuable I am, then the risk of losing me will be a price he's not willing to pay.

4) He will have such a tender regard and fierce devotion for me that he would rather drink Crystal Drano than drive a Mack truck through my chest (and that is what having sex with another woman would do to me).

God knows who my second husband is. I'm pretty curious myself! :D

Re: Alise...Write! by Alise Wright

Sensuous Wife — Sat, 28 May 2011 23:37:15 -0000

For years, when I heard the phrase "Keep Christ at the center of your marriage", I thought it sounded vague and fluffy. Now this phrase has a very specific behavior attached to it-a behavior I believe is vital to marriage.

The clarity I received on this concept came from a secular source, so there may very well be a takeaway for interfaith marriage as well.

Imagine both marriage partners hold a bucket in their hands. This represents their love tank. Keeping Christ at the center means each partner goes to God to get their love tank filled, then walks over to their partner, and pours the majority of their love all over their partner. Repeat hourly, dailly, whatever it takes.

This concept came to me when I was reading Passionate Marriage and learning about the concepts of Differentiation and Self-soothing as important ways to build intimacy. Differentiation says "I'm separate from my mate. I'm a healthy person who can choose to connect out of want, not need". Self-soothing says "I'm okay whether or not my mate is choosing to give me what I want." When I read this, a light bulb went off over my head, and I said "As a believer, the way I self-soothe is to plug into God and get my okayness from God instead of asking my spouse to grant me okayness."

I have road-tested this and experienced some amazing results. I remember being in a particular painful discussion and my man said something to me that caused me tremendous pain. In that split second, I mentally turned to God and said, "Wow that really hurt. Okay God, how do you want me to handle this?" I listened for that still small voice in my heart before I said anything to my man. This went on for several seconds. He asked me "You're very quiet." and I said "Well I am feeling pain after what you said and I know it's not healthy to repress my feelings so I'm taking those feelings to God and asking Him what He would have me say to you." And then I went back to silently listening for a few more seconds until I had clarity on what to say to my man. Then I said to him whatever I felt lead to say. It was NOT what this sassy Irish gal would have said on my own.

Regarding the interfaith application, I believe that differentiation and self-soothing works to benefit the relationship, whatever your faith. The book Passionate Marriage explains this in greater detail.

So to sum up a Christ-centered marriage:
Step 1: plug into God, get your heart filled.
Step 2: Pour your love all over your mate.
Step 3: Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Re: Choose Love - Whispered Between Women

Sensuous Wife — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:57:48 -0000

I'm divorced and I have mourned and moved on. I'm deeply in love and looking forward to marrying again. Having lived through this, I believe remaining alive to desire and not shutting down after infidelity and divorce is one of the most courageous things a woman can ever do. Call me braveheart.

Re: sometimes you gotta fight

Sensuous Wife — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 19:36:43 -0000

"there are times in life when you have to take stock of a difficult situation and determine whether you’re going to roll over and let it beat you or whether you’re going to fight like hell for what you know is worth it."

Good for you. This is so true. There's something very beautiful about fighting for your own heart and for the heart of the one you love. I pray the two of you experience a sexual and emotional renaissance like you've never known.

Re: frenetic peace

Sensuous Wife — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 22:48:20 -0000

I've been a part of this wonderful community for years and I have nothing but good things to say about TMB.