Disqus - Latest Comments for wakemenow

Re: Girls Gone Anti-Feminist

wakemenow — Sat, 03 Nov 2012 10:02:16 -0000

Hmm...the anger expressed in comments below as well as by the author is understandable on some level, seeing as how we're witnessing very young girls getting caught up in all this television drama nonsense. HOWEVER, I'm left scratching my head where women's agency has gone to all of a sudden. The television does broadcast lots of stupid programs, I agree, hence why I refuse to pay for cable. Why pay money for a service that brings into your home influences you don't want around yourself or your children? You have the power to cancel the subscription and cease funding networks bent on airing ridiculous crap like Jersey Shore and whatever else is on these days. The power is in our hands. If kids were exposed to less television, perhaps they wouldn't be as inclined to grow into consumption-driven teens and adults filled with air-headed ideas about their roles in society.

Parents have a great deal of power, and they're not asserting it, and that baffles me. Grown women choose where they spend their money, and apparently trivial forms of entertainment and sexing up their wardrobes has become a top priority. Either way, stupid shows wouldn't exist without an audience to provide ratings. Same goes for junk beauty magazines. Clothing that sells is what will continue being offered.

So, I guess I wonder why the blame is laid entirely on the market while female consumers are viewed as victims of it. No, you're the consumer. The dollars in your pocket are your votes for the society you're helping to co-create, which includes how you portray yourself. Want to be taken seriously? Then turn off the idiotic sitcoms and invest time, energy, and funds into more rewarding endeavors. If we have become slaves to pop culture and marketing gimmicks, it is through our own complicity. By a certain age one undoubtedly has the wherewithal to stop and question these things for herself, then to choose to alter or stay the course. That's not to say that our culture doesn't affect us or that marketing isn't awfully slick, but why aren't we explaining this to one another rather than complaining and expecting the business world to cease pandering to profits? Our media will over time mold itself to become whatever people are willing to watch and pay for. We ultimately control the purse strings, not them.

Re: Troops Punished After Refusing to Attend Evangelic

wakemenow — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 19:42:24 -0000

My experience in basic training showed that Christianity is indeed pushed, from the army's decision to allow only the soldier's handbook and an abridged bible as authorized reading material (no newspaper clippings, no other religious texts), to murals painted on the "killzone" depicting a perverse union of the devil, God and the U.S. army all acting as one (one said something akin to "and on the 8th day even the Devil stood at attention"). On Sundays, those who chose not to go to a religious worship of some kind were required to stay behind and clean their bay (I chose to attend the Jewish worship where "contraband" newspaper stories were passed around; no religious or spiritual conversations took place however). On my dogtags, my written request to be labeled as "agnostic" was ignored and I was tagged as an "atheist" instead, which irritated me (there IS a difference). My first sergeant, a sadistic jerk of a man, often quoted scripture in the same breath that he criticized recruits.

I don't know how military training was done in the past, but in 2007 this was my experience in Fort Jackson, South Carolina.

Re: Is it My “Feminist Duty” to Mention Mother’s Day?

wakemenow — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 00:28:58 -0000

Oh god, Holly. I haven't read all of your blog and don't know many of the details of your upbringing, but your post above really affects me. I can relate on some levels, as a child of a mother who does not want her and barely ever did. Our experiences differ, it sounds, but the turmoil remains similar. My grandma was my mother-figure as well, though she is certainly not "liberal." My Papa played the figure of my main male role-model. Having no biological father (but a stepdad I didn't get along with) and a mother who just never cared like people expect a mother to, for whatever reasons, who I've been completely estranged from pretty much since age 12 -- I can understand that it's tough listening to the Mother's Day talk. She didn't want me, doesn't like me and hasn't since I was a very young child, and I will never probably really know why.

Knowing that others have good mothers makes me happy for them, though also admittedly a bit jealous. It's one thing to recognize one's blessings and be glad to be who you are right here in the moment, but plenty serves to whip at that wound, Mother's Day being a sensitive trigger. Not always, though I've proven successful at avoiding blogs and commercials around that time and don't usually read feminist blogs aside from this one occasionally (Thanks Holly!).

It's just tough for people to relate to unless they've been there. They may try, and that's sweet, but there remains a barrier in understanding. It's kind of amazing how much we tend to take for granted, and Mother's Day reminds some of us of this.

Re: Hell Yeah, Feminist Porn! Seven Minutes in Heaven 2: Tender Hearted

wakemenow — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 00:07:40 -0000

Latex gloves, dental dams and condoms -- oh my! I'd rather view "amateurs" who trust and care about one another enough to not need the arsenal of intimacy-blocking devices described above. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's clinical sex.

Re: The Kids Are All Right — A Summer Movie I’m Excited About for all the Right Reasons

wakemenow — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 23:46:30 -0000

Thanks for the review and video clip. I'm interested in checking this one out now. ;-)

Re: A Media and Entertainment Blog You Should be Reading (and Not Only Because I Write for It)

wakemenow — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 23:33:33 -0000

I don't get the Lady Gaga phenomenon either. Don't even know who she is, never heard her music, but Rolling Stone magazine keeps bringing her up. :P Very irritating. People say she's basically a modern-day Madonna. Ookay. We already have a Madonna, why two? She takes her clothes off on stage? Well, welcome to the crowd. I'm expecting that within 20 years people will be fucking outright on stage. I mean, really, where else is there to go? Probably a matter of time before we introduce snuff films on stage.

Media smut...what's the point?

Also, I recommend avoiding all topics related to Bristol Palin. Maybe if we ignore that family, they'll go away. ;-)

Re: Mississippi’s Message to the World: We Will Erase Young People Who Do Not Conform to Gender Norms

wakemenow — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 23:20:11 -0000

As someone originally from Mississippi with most of my family continuing to reside there, visiting once or twice a year these days, I am keenly aware of how it goes down there with race and gender relations. Actually, I'm a little surprised that people are noticing the discrimination against gay people when my home county continues to have racially-segregated proms. That's how they do it down there. Thankfully my boyfriend and I decided to drive to Louisiana and get drunk rather than attend prom.

That's how things go in Mississippi. No, I don't particularly like people talking trash about the state and all the people in it, knowing that's unfair, personally knowing a few gay people who choose to live there (and even a lesbian deciding to move BACK after spending years in the Midwest, if you can imagine that). It's really tough to understand Mississippi unless you've lived there a number of years, preferably were raised there. And even then it doesn't make a tremendous amount of sense.

Still, I can't help but defend my state a little. It's a challenge to comprehend, and I completely agree that the racial and LGBT discrimination really needs to end ... it's just that it's Mississippi. Good luck with making that happen. In fact, instead of badgering the state which obviously does no good, I recommend that people move there. Then you'll be a voter and can assert your voice among the public. Yes, the weather is a bitch, but how else can you really make a stand while learning honestly about the culture you're dealing with, up-close and personal?

Don't forget that some Mississippians do still persecute non-Protestants. It's not just a gay or race-related thing.

Re: Holly Writes Sex and Sexuality (at Fascinations!): BDSM and Safe Words

wakemenow — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 23:01:16 -0000

Hi Holly,

I read your article over on Fascinations and appreciate the timeliness of this topic. Actually, humorously enough, I headed over to your blog today expressly because sadomasochism in modern society has been on my mind this week.

First off, let me say that "yellow" has long been my stop or "safe" word when playing with sexual partners. Your suggestion is perfect.

As for your comment above: "While the feminist blogosphere and community at large like to think they are educating and encouraging people to explore their sexuality in a safe, responsible manner that fulfills them, I think there is a severe lack of discussion on BDSM when it comes to sexuality and sex-positivity." This has been on my mind a lot lately, in thinking about how sadomasochism appears to be (re)gaining popularity in recent years. In fact, I stumbled across some titles of films of an extreme nature pertaining to this concern and am seriously weirded out by all their "fans" on review sites. I would SERIOUSLY recommend nobody watch the films I've listed on my own blog (link below), for fear of you losing a chunk of your soul in the process -- the reviews tell enough:

http://wakemenow.wordpress.com/2010/09/13/a-film-not-to-watch/

Not trying to plug my little blog, just not wanting to post the titles on your blog, out of respect.

What really bothers me is that we hear more about sex than love, more about fucking than intimacy, and the sex we're being shown in the media, in movies and in porns is increasingly violent, detached, sadistic, and fetishistic. But it's not a new trend; it dates back several decades in the U.S. (Europe turns out to be waayyy ahead of us on perverted and depraved films, particularly France :P ) and is recorded in cultural pockets going far back into history (think: Marquis de Sade).

I'm curious where we're going with all of this violence and alienation. So much of it is novelty, a curious, temporary interest for most of us. But the problem is you don't usually figure it out until after you've gone down the rabbit hole and learned experientially, and by then marks have been left on your psyche and you are not the same. Even if the experiences had weren't perceived as particularly negative, it doesn't matter -- corruption can happen regardless of whether we take notice.

This saddens me very much, Holly. As a lover of love and humaneness, it's distressing to think how cruel we're being to one another. Much of our gender relation problems result from a sense of alienation while attempting to adjust to a brand-new way of life, an unprecedented reality, living in modern times -- further complicated by a lengthy patriarchal past, a collective losing of our religions, destruction of cultures and traditions, disinterest in and falsification of history, etc. Of course people, men and women especially, are having problems communicating and seeing eye to eye -- we live in a world "made" by men, designed in their competitive image, leaving out the "yin" to their "yang." It's a real travesty.

And then enters the growing popularity of sadomasochism, alienated sex. We like to think we're having harmless fun "exploring" our sexuality, but are we really? Sure, some of us chose to avoid the grislier side of the possibilities, but even we, I, witnessed plenty to last a lifetime, consensually or not. Personally, I can't deny having a bit of a domination/submission complex, but don't most of us who came to age in the '90s? I wonder if it isn't so much an inner drive (aside from curiosity) than external pressure from a violence-obsessed and increasingly perverted culture?

There's a lot on my mind at the moment, and I don't wish to bog down your blog with lengthy posts. Just wanting to say that basically I do agree that a dialogue on the direction of (and reason for) sadomasochism and BDSM is very much needed, now perhaps more than ever.

Re: Health Care Reform is About People

wakemenow — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 22:01:10 -0000

Well shoot, I apparently deleted my comment accidentally. :P Ah well, it was too long and rambly anyway. ;)

To cut it short, sorry to hear you're experiencing that Holly and it's great that you did find a clinic willing to work with you. Hopefully the surgeon will deal fairly too.

Living without health insurance for 14 out of the last 15 years, I can relate. Thank god for good friends and lucky breaks in life. *knock on wood* Sick as a dog myself currently with strep, but that's nowhere near on the scale of what you're going through. Tooth pain is nothing to screw around with. Hopefully you will be fixed up soon!

But the health care reform proposals pushed by Obama and insurance lobbyists won't likely include a public option. Matt Taibbi discusses this in the September 2009 issue of Rolling Stone magazine in an article titled: "Sick And Wrong: How Washington Is Screwing Up Health Care Reform—And Why It May Take A Revolt To Fix It." There's a little more about it on my blog, but read the article for yourselves.

Here's a video of Matt Taibbi speaking with Rachel Maddow about the exclusion of the public option: http://videocafe.crooksandl...

The public option was a compromise; a single-payer system would best serve the public. What's the point in creating a health care reform bill that requires people to pay for private insurance while disallowing a public option and declaring single-payer completely off the table? It's no reform I'd want. Looks like a way to make insurance companies happy, but that's about it.

Re: Health Care Reform is About People

wakemenow — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 21:05:55 -0000

It's not so easy to get medicaid coverage, especially if you're young and child-free. We like to think the state will step in and help during serious cases, but no, not always. Not even usually. Lots of variables play into it, namely whether you're already receiving public assistance (housing, foodstamps, disability benefits, etc.).

In other words, it's a real pain in the ass asking the state for assistance with medical costs.

Re: PETA Continues Unethical Treatment of Women

wakemenow — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 20:46:42 -0000

Organizations like PETA don't make much sense to me either. What's up with a group of humans hating on other humans under the guise of protecting animals? Intelligent apes (us) = animals too, but PETA people don't see it that way in their arrogant delusions.

The ads you posted were mean-spirited, but nothing new there. Hence why I usually ignore them completely and avoid anything with their name on it.

"People who profess love for all animals except other people" would be an apt description of PETA. I knew a lady like this once who had a house full of animals and freaked if anyone did ANYTHING she deemed improper toward an animal, and yet she beat her kids. Guess I just don't get it. *shrugs*

Re: Where Have All the Morals Gone?

wakemenow — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 03:09:16 -0000

Being a nation obsessed with all types of violence doesn't help.

Young folks seem to be getting the message of equality confused with the old adage "if she wants to talk like a man, let her fight like one." Young people, both males and females, seem more desensitized to violence and to glorify "toughness" among their peers. Girls seem to be expected to "buck up" and fight back, rather than the boys being expected to tone it down. I've said before this is partly an unintended consequence to the popular feminist message, where young girls misconstrue equality to mean them measuring up in a man's world by becoming more man-like. That absolutely sucks, but it's to be expected in a society where violence is the norm and femininity is diminished to little more than sex appeal and materialism.

We can't be a warring society teaching peace and love and cooperation to our young people and expect it to make sense. Just as we can't expect young girls to understand what it means to be strong women when our culture sends so many mixed signals.

Re: Womanism/Feminism…Feminism/Womanism

wakemenow — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 02:45:58 -0000

I think we agree mostly on what constitutes a woman, just not on the equality of humans regardless of gender, sex, race, ethnicity, class, or any other arbitrary distinction. We can't seem to break out of the pecking order mentality. Men don't get it, and women don't get it either.

Funny thing is I didn't realize until now that "womanist" is a term embraced by women of color. I just thought a womanist was someone for women's rights who distinguishes herself from mainstream feminists, regardless of race. Never thought much about it, rarely reading blogs of this sort (outside of this one, of course -wink-).

Re: Submissive Feminists? Professor Foxy Gets It Right

wakemenow — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 20:21:49 -0000

I can understand where Allen is coming from on this. My reply to the conflicted feminist's question would have included the word "trust." Because when you think about it, THAT's what allows the woman to relax and experiment and relish a submissive role - because she knows she can say "stop" and her wishes will be heeded. What separates her boyfriend from some predator pervert? He is showing her respect. Because if we really care to get technical here, the only way most women are going to have full and complete control in the bedroom is if the man's handcuffed with a gun or taser trained on him. lol He is an autonomous being too with power in the situation. Control of the situation comes from a mutual agreement between partners which includes not causing harm beyond the other's comfort zone. That agreement is solidified with TRUST. Not control or power-mongering.

The reason I love being submissive with some of my partners is that it titillates me to experience the strength and passion in the man, feeling small and overtaken by his presence. What makes it enjoyable rather than nerve-wracking and scary is that I know he'll respect my boundaries and treat my body with care, even if we do decide to tease those boundaries from time to time. It's all about trust. Power-plays can be fun for kinky role-play, but outside of that I'd say it creates unnecessary destructive tensions in our romantic relationships. What's the point in competing with your partner like that?

Just love each other and enjoy your sex life. It shouldn't matter what other feminists or anyone else thinks about your personal romantic choices.

Re: He Will Hit You Again

wakemenow — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 18:53:40 -0000

Why was Oprah getting up in other people's business on-air? Anyone else have a problem with that? Care to discuss domestic violence, cool, go ahead, but did she have to bring that girl Rihanna up in it? I didn't watch the show (and never do) but have heard enough to where it sounds like Oprah was out of line there. Even if my (hypothetical) man were completely in the wrong, I wouldn't want a talk show host blabbing about it. That would be my business to handle. Here we have this story plastered all over the news and magazines, diving all up into a couple's personal relationship matters. Very rude, IMO. If Rihanna wants to talk about it, that'll be her business.

Makes me very thankful to not be a celebrity...

Re: Nobody Likes an Apologist

wakemenow — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 18:45:04 -0000

That is weird that anyone would care what Rush Limbaugh thinks of their opinion of him. In fact, it's weird that Rush continues to receive so much attention these days. My crazy, religious extremist ex-in-laws even gave up on him after the Oxycontin debacle.

Ann Coulter's even scarier though. That woman has serious problems.

So sad seeing our country become this divided with people referring to themselves as either on the "right" or "left" as if we can't possibly share any common ground. There are major flaws and oversights on "both sides of the fence," but also plenty of well-intending people and values, even as so many are turning away from figuring out how to communicate effectively with the "others." Polarity. It's not good, not for any of us.

We'd all be better off to quit listening to these idiotic pundits, whether that be Rush on the so-called "right" or some other joker on the so-called "left." They divide us with their stereotypes and labels, encouraging us to see one another in black-and-white absolutes, bracketing our peers in asinine categories like: conservative, liberal, centrist, pro-choice, pro-life, pro-God. I mean we've come to treat these stereotypes like they're applicable in real life where people are more complicated and values cannot so easily be summed up with generic classifications. We start thinking in terms of opposites when really we litter the whole spectrum, and I personally think this is how groupthink gets started. People listen to these pundits, doesn't matter whether they're for or against them, and they react by trying to disassociate themselves from whatever vulgarity has been spewed. Ann Coulter makes darn near everyone want to jump ship (lol), and if you identify that ship as consisting of "rights" and "lefts" you'll jump to take a side. But this isn't a one-on-one competition. Most Republicans aren't Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh, and for those Republicans I know, they don't even care to listen to these people. People look to them for shock value, just as they used to do with Howard Stern and Al Franken. It's novelty, pure and simple, that serves only to distract us from concentrating on more important matters.

Re: Too Busy to Blog!?

wakemenow — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 17:03:08 -0000

Here, here. It's an adult space discussing adult issues. We can handle foul language and disagreements.

Re: The Roman Catholic Church Voices Disapproval of Abortion, Says Nothing About the Rape of a 9 Year Old Girl

wakemenow — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 16:55:58 -0000

Roman Catholics make no sense whatsoever. 'Course most Christians don't. Or even most self-described religious people in general. Hypocrites...

This reminds me of the priest who used to see me as an escort (yes, for sex, though he lied and denied being a priest for 4 years) who said that he is strongly against the use of contraceptives...except when it comes to me. Nice. Assholes.

No, abortion isn't worse than rape because a fetus isn't a fully-developed person with conscious thoughts and life experiences.

I'm so completely done with anything and everything related to the damn Catholic Church. What bastards.

Re: Slut Shaming From Sextexting Leads To Suicide

wakemenow — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 16:46:56 -0000

They so rarely go after the bullies and taunters...

Re: Slut Shaming From Sextexting Leads To Suicide

wakemenow — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 04:38:47 -0000

Those are very hurtful words to hear, especially for a teenage girl. This is very sad to learn of.

Re: Open Thread: Your Voting Experience

wakemenow — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 05:31:00 -0000

I ordered an absentee ballot and mailed it back last week, so no lines for me.

Re: What to Expect When You’re Aborting

wakemenow — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 22:50:28 -0000

Wow...the "What to Expect When You're Aborting" blog is definitely raw.

I'm not completely sure what to make of it.

Re: Tina Fey Makes Her SNL Return

wakemenow — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 21:19:46 -0000

Nevermind. They pulled that link too. Frickin' nazis.

Re: Tina Fey Makes Her SNL Return

wakemenow — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 22:55:18 -0000

Someone mentioned it to me earlier today, so I went hunting for it on youtube. Here's a direct link that is functioning: http://www.youtube.com/watc....

Pretty darn funny!

Re: Gloria Steinem on Sarah Palin

wakemenow — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 01:05:48 -0000

I'm not sure they're actually aiming for the miffed Hillary supporters, despite all the talk to the contrary. There are a lot of women out here who REALLY don't like Hillary Clinton (or her husband for that matter) who wouldn't have voted for her even if she was running on both republicrat tickets. They're proposing an alternative that's likely to appeal to a different kind of woman altogether because it doesn't make any sense at all that they honestly would expect Hillary supporters to jump on a Fundamentalist's bandwagon, female or not.

She's the first female Fundamentalist Republican VP nominee, not a Hillary replacement. Liberal women interested in voting a female into office ought to look into Cynthia McKinney.