DISQUS

Hey, hey, hey there, cowboy! You have recognized what you did and admitted it for all the world to see. Believe it or not, most of us have done the same at some point or another. Attention is a heady thing, especially when it is coming from someone you are drawn to. When two someones pop up at the same time, that is pretty intoxicating so we keep flirting to see what will happen, not necessarily realizing that we are flirting with danger. Someone can get hurt when they take someone serious while they are still in flirt mode. So now you know. You will be wiser next time and more cautious. You will be ok. After you have apologized to them, the next best thing you can do is to forgive yourself -- forgive but don't forget the lesson you have learned. Whatever happens, it will be ok.

Wow! Sorry to hear that you went/are going through that. I just went through something kind of crazy like that too. It hurt a lot. I hope things get better soon. Dinner soon, ok?

CONGRATULATIONS and GOOD FOR YOU! It has been a long haul, but you hung in there. It will get better from here. From reading your posts I see a lot of great attributes in you and I hope you are aware of them. Can you sum up what you have learned/proven about yourself since you were out of work?

Hey Kiddo,
I learned a tough lesson years ago - never deposit someone's check directly into your account. Ever. EVER. The only time I reconsider this rule is if it is immediate family. When someone gives me a personal check I look them in the eye and ask them if the money is in the account or should I hold the check. When it is time for me to cash it, I take it to their bank (inscribed on the check). This way, I will know immediately if it is good or not because their bank will not give me the cash if it is not in their account. That way, I don't end up with a check bouncing in my account and me having to pay fees for something that was not my fault.

I work for a small company and recently, I took my pay check to their bank only to be told that there was not enough money in their business account to cover my check. See what I mean. If I work for a larger company, I do opt for direct deposit, though, and I don't worry because I have never had problems in those cases. Hope this helps.

V--

I can totally empathize with you. I don't have a child, but I call my neice my child. She is my brother's daughter, but he is what she calls a selective parent; he selects when he wants to be there for her. So, of course, I try to take up the slack as much as possible (as if that were actually possible). I was unemployed for over a year and that made me feel as if my world were falling apart. During my unemployment, my grandmother died, my apartment flooded (very, very badly) and I have to leave the NY/NJ area because I could not afford to live there anymore.

So, since I can empathize, I am willing to communicate the things I have done that changed my situation. I am so sorry that your mom threw you and your son out and got rid of your dress clothes. I haven't read your whole blog so I don't know your current living situation, but I do know that after my apartment flooded, going on job interviews seemed impossible. I felt so unstable. How could I sell myself when I was trying to figure out where I was going to live? My clothes were all packed up and I had started gaining weight because the people I was staying with had terrible diets. Sounds like you may still be unemployed, but I am not certain. Check out Aeropostale's web site. They were looking for a web person for quite some time and my understanding is they are great to work for and you can rise through the ranks quickly. Also, get your resume on www.stylecareers.com asap. Make sure it is tight, though, because fashion is very competitive. Also, subscribe to the site so that jobs in your field will be e-mailed to you. Put your resume on monster.com, too. You will get a lot of hits. Can you draw or sketch? Buy a few fashion magazines and sketch some of the girls and what they are wearing. Try to stary putting a portfolio together. I have some other fashion job web sites under my profile, VeeShay, on 43things. If you are interested then look under my entry about starting my fashion business and you will see a list. Whatever you do, don't sell yourself short.

After I lost my job, I was wondering how I was going to continue living in the $1,000/month apartment while drawing unemployment. Even though the flood was a nightmare, I used it as a blessing because it got me out of my lease (after I took the landlord to court, of course). Prayer and dilligence got me from one small victory to the next. Never stop praying because you will never get all the answers on your own. Keep your head held high because you are more than a pay check, and you are not defined by your job. For the moment, I have a job that pays me half of what I was making in New York and I have to live in my brother's home just to make it. I want my life back, but it is taking some time for me to get to where I want to be. As I make this journey, you be encouraged; you will get through this. I wish you the best.

I wanted to have 'the talk' with my niece when she was around 14 or 15. That may seem late to you, but she was still complaining that she had never had a boyfriend and couldn't even get the guys to look at her. An upcoming episode of Dateline was airing that addressed teens and sex so I told her that we had a date to watch a show together and for her to clear her calendar. I was nervous and I knew she would be uncomfortable, so I did not have her come over to my apartment. When it was time for the episode to come on, I just called her up and we stayed on the phone together. She was a little annoyed because she was embarrassed but I knew it was important.

They talked about girls at school giving oral in the bathroom and first times and frequency and other things I would not have thought of. You can probably go to their web site and find it online. After it was over, we discussed respecting yourself and a few other things. Turned out she had already had 'the talk' with her mother, but some of this stuff had never been discussed with her. I asked her if she was sexually active or even thinking of it. The whole thing was difficult for me, but I patted myself on the back for finding a clever entry point. When she did become sexually active in college, her behavior changed so much that I felt it and knew what was going on with her. Turns out that I was the only one who knew what was going on and she was so grateful to have a mature adult to talk with about everything.

Keeping the communication flowing, even after the initial talk, is important. It was hard at first, but I am so glad that I did it. Another thing you could do is write all your questions on paper and have one copy for you and one for him, if yo want. That way, you don't skip anything because of nerves. You could also have a more open precocious cousin of his in on the conversation. Since you are not their parent, they may be more open and get the ball rolling by saying things your son may not want to say at first. Often kids want to talk with an adult about this stuff, but they don't know who would be cool enough to talk with. But once the conversation starts, it is easier to keep it going. Also, don't forget that the first talk is just that; the first one. Keep the talks going every couple of months. He's going to need guidance because real relationships bring on a whole new set of emotions and experimentation and he will need to talk with you more than ever.

By the way, I found this site because you are a member of 43things. Whatever happened with your job situation? I think I told you about trying the fashion industry. Let me know because I hope things went well for you. My profile is VeeShay on 43things.