DISQUS

So Jack... Let's examine.

It's corny to ask a girl "what type of guy she likes?"
See this question serves two purposes: one- To get the girl talking (this is a conversation) and two- (you're right) To get an understanding of the girl and see if ya'll are compatible. This waste nobody's time and it shows the girl that your are interested in her thoughts.

Or we can do what you said: "campaigning with some balls.... candidates she usually votes for, he’d be pitching the strength of his own platform" (What the hell are you saying???) I guess you're saying that- you will not conversate with her, but you will just run down your list of qualifications and hope she likes you (So basically the "Hey Look at Me" routine) Very Classy there Buddy - WTF -This is a poor platform JACK because you give the girl all the power to either reject or accept you without you getting any information from her. You basically lost your chance to see what she likes, and to see if you two have anything in common. You failed to engage your audience. You change the conversation from "Yes WE Can" to "B***h just listen to what I got to say". Jack you're going to lose a lot of votes that way.

"Jack Roqoff, you're no Jack Kennedy" - (my polysci graduates are laughing at you right now)

And on a final note, (...I wonder how your girl feels about you saying she got a "big ol' ass" - SMH) A real man would resort to violence only as the last option, especially when he's with someone he loves. A real man would have used prudent judgement by (a) Not taking his girl to an "ass grabbing club" (in your case a "big ol' ass grabbing club) but one of elegance and class or (to use your term) "check" her before she walked out the house on her "tight ass" outfit. A real man will try to keep his love ones out of harms way by THINKING FIRST.

And yes, "man" is a key element in being a gentleman. So please put away your childish acts like "campaigning with some balls", calling out your girl's ass, and slapping the shit out of everyone in the club. Use common sense like a real man and put away these childish "Thug" antics.

So in the end it's very obvious, "You don't know JACK $%&# !!!"

Peace Smartenup.
And to Nia, I really appreciate your honest opinions. My response is in no way an attack on you as a person. For all I know, you could be a really great person.

Nia,

See your last sentence I agree with - Being sociable, educated, and confident are traits and characteristics that everyone wants in a mate be it male or female. See where I disagree with you and the commenters is the attribution of these traits to a "Thug". A Thug is a hoodlum by definition. A "thug" is a criminal, delinquent, gangster, murderer, rioter, and an overly violent person in nature.
See what confuses a lot of brothers is when black girls find "thug" traits as desirable, sexy even.
See Nia, I can tell by your writing that you are a good communicator - maybe more so than I am- and that's the key to long lasting relationships. COMMUNICATION. See in the above article the Brother went over and started the conversation with the black woman - So he's attempting to be sociable, and he's confident enough to approach her. I'm not so sure about buying the drink part but maybe he's trying to be nice. Then he shares with her information about himself - he works for the government- and most importantly he asks her "what does she look for in a guy?" See this is the most important part in COMMUNICATION - attempting to understand the person in which you are having a conversation with. See in long term relationships you are constantly trying to understand your mate. You are constantly sharing with your mate. Notice I said sharing and not taking and looking at it for only your benefit.
So I said all that to say this... In your comments like "defending your honor", other comments like "checking me and putting me in my place"... are all traits that shows your man's "AGGRESSIVE AND VIOLENT" characteristics. Let's be real, how many times is a man going to have to exhibit these traits - very rarely (unless ya'll club all time and live in the middle of the hood.) And when it does rarely happen trust me 99% of the men (regardless of race) would sacrifice their body to protect a loved one. BUT THE ONE TRAIT THAT NO BLACK WOMAN ON THIS PAGE COMMENTED ON WAS COMMUNICATION. THE MAIN INGREDIENT IN A LASTING RELATIONSHIP. See what you Nia and other black women fail to realize is that young black men without a father in the their home and a black mother who has the same fucked up mentality as you, are teaching their sons that the "Thug trait" is the eminent trait that a male should bring to a relationship. YA'LL ARE NOT TEACHING YOUR SONS DIRECTLY BUT INDIRECTLY BY SAYING "THUGS ARE SEXY", "THUGS KNOW HOW TO HANDLE ME", "THUGS KNOW HOW TO PUT IT DOWN". You see that is destroying young men from building lasting relationships, because they are not developing the right trait - COMMUNICATION.
Now you and your daughter are 25 plus and wondering where the honest, sharing, available men are. There is a direct correlation to the rising incarceration rate, the high divorce rate, and single parent households to the above statements. These statements are destroying black america. Black women you are putting the wrong things first when it comes to a relationship.
And see here's the great thing about this article. The man was educated enough and developed enough that he asked the right questions to figure out that this woman was not for him. He found out that even though she was working on her Masters Degree (which most guys would have thought they've hit the jackpot) she was not capable of sustaining a long lasting relationship because of her mentality.

So SMARTENUP BLACK WOMEN

P.S. Nia...using the threat about dating other races is played out. It's 2008 and you can date whoever you like.

First off, Great blog and topic. Secondly, what's hilarious to me are these wild scenarios that "so-called" educated black women are coming up with -

1. "don’t want our man to run faster than us or scream louder than us!! - (How fast do you run the 100meters??? Are you dating Usain Bolt??? If ya'll both screaming how can you tell who is louder???)

2. "I want a man who will stick up for me if someone grabs my ass at the club" (Is your ass that big??? Are you a stripper and need a bouncer??? Maybe you shouldn't go to a club where T.I., Young Jezzy, and Lil Wayne are performing on the same night..)

3. "A man who knows how to flip it up and serve it raw when I need it." - Huhh??? LMAO (Is he making pancakes??? - damn I'm hungry now- I hope he didn't serve it raw to too many girls because he might have something)

4. "What’s wrong with having a man who has a bowtie made out of wifebeater material?" - No comment that was funny

5. "...but sometimes thugs understand the principals of treating a woman like a woman, including buying her a punk ass drink (is that a new flava???), protecting her honor (Do you want a man or a Samurai???), and giving her a helping hand financial assistance when hard times hit" (Do you want to date the Welfare System???- Damn I should have taken that government job.)

6."couldn’t change a tire if you paid them 3 times what AAA was charging' (call me next time I can use that $100 to buy me some new tires on my car)

7. Paraphrasing - "protect me if I'm walking down a dark alley..' (why are you in a dark alley??? Do you live in the ghetto??? Newspapers and cardboard is not a house???)

To all the fellows out there, JUST BE YOU. If these women are into you then they will make you a figment of their imagination (you see how wild their imaginations are). So if you're not a thug and she likes you then she will probably make you up in her mind as a guy that "has a little thug in him". If you are a "true blue thug" (I don't know what the hell that means ask Toni), then she will rationalize in her mind that "he's an intelligent thug" - (women please stop using this one). SO JUST BE YOU FELLOWS. Because no human or animal is just one way. If pushed they will react. If loved they will react. Some people have more extreme limits than others but we all will react to something.

Peace
Smartenup

Interesting article. I like the play on words (pun intended). What if you meet a single black male that only dates monogamous and you are feeling him. If he shares his past with you and your past exploits puts him to shame (something like 3 to 1). What happens if he ask you about yours, do you lie or tell the truth? And what if you had a team and he had way more sexually partners than you. Do you judge him?

Just a question for the ladies.