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Kevin Pierce
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8 months ago
in YES on R on The Low Bar
THAT PLANT IS A BUSH
NEWSWIRE--Approval of a San Francisco ballot measure would have a pollution control facility renamed as the George W. Bush Sewage Plant.
Consider, as you give acclaim
To where you will excrete,
Whether loads by any other name
Would smell as sweet.
www.newsandverse.com
Light verse, ripped from the headlines
NEWSWIRE--Approval of a San Francisco ballot measure would have a pollution control facility renamed as the George W. Bush Sewage Plant.
Consider, as you give acclaim
To where you will excrete,
Whether loads by any other name
Would smell as sweet.
www.newsandverse.com
Light verse, ripped from the headlines
9 months ago
in McCain Camp Clears Palin of ‘Troopergate’ Wrongdoing on The Washington Independent
TROOPERGATE TO DUPERGATE: A NEWS AND VERSE EXTRA
If
Troopergate=influencing the firing of an Alaska State Police Officer
Then,
Bloopergate=Firing whoever allowed the Couric interviews
Coopergate=Firing, from a helicopter, on a CNN correspondent
Swoopergate=Firing helicopter pilot who buzzed the Russian coast (which he could see from home)
Droopergate=Firing any and all pollsters
Groupergate=Firing an Alaska fish warden (see also: frying an Alaska fish warden)
Lubrigate=Firing anyone who stands in the way of oil drilling
Hoopergate=Firing the Wasilla basketball coach
Poopergate=Firing the Wasilla animal control officer
Scoopergate=Firing whoever cleaned up after the firing of the animal control officer
Recupergate=Firing whoever said there'd be no image problems in a VP slot
Recoupergate=Firing whoever said the home-stay per diem was a God-given right
Rupertgate=Firing the kid who delivers the Wall Street Journal and all those other papers
Snoopergate=Firing all those people who want to see state documents
Soupergate=Firing John McCain's chef (see also: cottage cheese, oatmeal)
Stuporgate=Firing the state bartender
Stoopergate=Firing anyone on the front porch (see also: Get off my lawn!)
Supergate=Firing everyone Todd doesn't like (see also: First Dude)
Yoopergate=Firing anyone left on the northern Michigan campaign staff
And,
Dupergate=Firing the advisor who first suggested the 2008 GOP VP Candidate
www.newsandverse.com
Light verse, ripped from the headlines
If
Troopergate=influencing the firing of an Alaska State Police Officer
Then,
Bloopergate=Firing whoever allowed the Couric interviews
Coopergate=Firing, from a helicopter, on a CNN correspondent
Swoopergate=Firing helicopter pilot who buzzed the Russian coast (which he could see from home)
Droopergate=Firing any and all pollsters
Groupergate=Firing an Alaska fish warden (see also: frying an Alaska fish warden)
Lubrigate=Firing anyone who stands in the way of oil drilling
Hoopergate=Firing the Wasilla basketball coach
Poopergate=Firing the Wasilla animal control officer
Scoopergate=Firing whoever cleaned up after the firing of the animal control officer
Recupergate=Firing whoever said there'd be no image problems in a VP slot
Recoupergate=Firing whoever said the home-stay per diem was a God-given right
Rupertgate=Firing the kid who delivers the Wall Street Journal and all those other papers
Snoopergate=Firing all those people who want to see state documents
Soupergate=Firing John McCain's chef (see also: cottage cheese, oatmeal)
Stuporgate=Firing the state bartender
Stoopergate=Firing anyone on the front porch (see also: Get off my lawn!)
Supergate=Firing everyone Todd doesn't like (see also: First Dude)
Yoopergate=Firing anyone left on the northern Michigan campaign staff
And,
Dupergate=Firing the advisor who first suggested the 2008 GOP VP Candidate
www.newsandverse.com
Light verse, ripped from the headlines
9 months ago
in Free Sarah Palin from the media blackhole on The Colorado Independent
LOVEY DOVEY COVEY
NEWSWIRE--A CNN host says the McCain campaign's decision to shield Sarah Palin from the media is sexist.
"She's a bird of a whole different feather," they whoop,
"With her plumage and pluck, we'll prevail."
Yet the vultures and hawks and the doves in the coop
Have her pigeonholed more as a Quayle.
www.newsandverse.com
Light verse, ripped from the headlines
NEWSWIRE--A CNN host says the McCain campaign's decision to shield Sarah Palin from the media is sexist.
"She's a bird of a whole different feather," they whoop,
"With her plumage and pluck, we'll prevail."
Yet the vultures and hawks and the doves in the coop
Have her pigeonholed more as a Quayle.
www.newsandverse.com
Light verse, ripped from the headlines
9 months ago
in More Bailout Politics on The Washington Independent
HOLDING THE BAG
NEWSWIRE--As Congress considers bailout legislation, there is uncertainty whether it will provide homeowners with mortgage assistance.
Halloween's still weeks away,
But tricks of finance start today:
Some get gift bags in the billions,
Others, pennies (mere civilians).
Whether treat's insane or small,
Depends if street is Main- or Wall-.
www.newsandverse.com
Light verse, ripped from the headlines
NEWSWIRE--As Congress considers bailout legislation, there is uncertainty whether it will provide homeowners with mortgage assistance.
Halloween's still weeks away,
But tricks of finance start today:
Some get gift bags in the billions,
Others, pennies (mere civilians).
Whether treat's insane or small,
Depends if street is Main- or Wall-.
www.newsandverse.com
Light verse, ripped from the headlines
9 months ago
in Seriously? Federal Judge Rules Cheney Must Follow Law on The Washington Independent
SHRED OF EVIDENCE
NEWSWIRE--Vice president Dick Cheney has been ordered to retain all records from his time in office.
You say my records must remain intact;
You'll only ask to look as last resort.
Some hope they'll prove my good intent. In fact,
Some might be better used as proof in court.
www.newsandverse.com
Light verse, ripped from the headlines
NEWSWIRE--Vice president Dick Cheney has been ordered to retain all records from his time in office.
You say my records must remain intact;
You'll only ask to look as last resort.
Some hope they'll prove my good intent. In fact,
Some might be better used as proof in court.
www.newsandverse.com
Light verse, ripped from the headlines
10 months ago
in It’s Not Minneapolis Airport, But It’ll Have to Do on The Unbearable Hamster of Being
RUFFLED FEATHERS
NEWSWIRE--A misprint on the federal "duck stamp" has a phone-sex-service number affixed to cards that are distributed to millions of waterfowl hunters.
She picked up the phone with seduce-and-flirt answer
But balked at my questions on Goose and Merganser.
I asked for some facts about Cygnets and Teals;
She teased of relaxing in fishnets and heels.
She said she'd act out as whatever I made her,
But rankled at Trumpeter, Plover and Wader.
I swore my intentions weren't odd or foul;
I can't help it if my hangup's waterfowl.
She hung up, but I have a waiting call:
It's my fate to call 900-MATING CALL.
www.newsandverse.com
Light verse, ripped from the headlines
NEWSWIRE--A misprint on the federal "duck stamp" has a phone-sex-service number affixed to cards that are distributed to millions of waterfowl hunters.
She picked up the phone with seduce-and-flirt answer
But balked at my questions on Goose and Merganser.
I asked for some facts about Cygnets and Teals;
She teased of relaxing in fishnets and heels.
She said she'd act out as whatever I made her,
But rankled at Trumpeter, Plover and Wader.
I swore my intentions weren't odd or foul;
I can't help it if my hangup's waterfowl.
She hung up, but I have a waiting call:
It's my fate to call 900-MATING CALL.
www.newsandverse.com
Light verse, ripped from the headlines
