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Vidya
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1 month ago
in Wearing Sindoor as a White Woman on Gori Girl
But most societies do that in one or another - like wedding rings.
>Yes but don't both parties in the marriage wear these rings.
I am Indian, raised in India and live in the East Coast too. Growing up, I've felt that these symbols -
the mangal sutra, the sindhur etc were one-sided and oppressive. There is a tendency to
mark out the marital status of the woman whereas it does not matter for a man. Even today,
there are rituals performed (even amongst my own relatives) called Sumangali prarthana where only married women and women whose husbands are alive are allowed. So I stopped wearing these symbols sometime in my teens when I started to think for myself and never wear them.
Many explanations and retro-fitting analyses of why the kumkum ranging from retro-fitted leadoxide theories(that one is surely bogus from whatever texts I have read) to freudian symbolisms of blood and
feritility, have been put forth by many. Social traditions and indicators do not always need an economic explanation. As I see it, these are merely marks of a 'supposedly special' status just like the sacred thread - a symbol that marked out a 'special status' for a caste.Here it is an ideal state every woman ought to aspire to. It is this rationale that I find extremely objectionable and would rather not wear such marks. Of course one can always reclaim these symbols and keep it for external beauty and treat it as a cosmetic , that then again is a choice.
show all 3 replies
>Yes but don't both parties in the marriage wear these rings.
I am Indian, raised in India and live in the East Coast too. Growing up, I've felt that these symbols -
the mangal sutra, the sindhur etc were one-sided and oppressive. There is a tendency to
mark out the marital status of the woman whereas it does not matter for a man. Even today,
there are rituals performed (even amongst my own relatives) called Sumangali prarthana where only married women and women whose husbands are alive are allowed. So I stopped wearing these symbols sometime in my teens when I started to think for myself and never wear them.
Many explanations and retro-fitting analyses of why the kumkum ranging from retro-fitted leadoxide theories(that one is surely bogus from whatever texts I have read) to freudian symbolisms of blood and
feritility, have been put forth by many. Social traditions and indicators do not always need an economic explanation. As I see it, these are merely marks of a 'supposedly special' status just like the sacred thread - a symbol that marked out a 'special status' for a caste.Here it is an ideal state every woman ought to aspire to. It is this rationale that I find extremely objectionable and would rather not wear such marks. Of course one can always reclaim these symbols and keep it for external beauty and treat it as a cosmetic , that then again is a choice.
3 replies
ARC
Vidya - I agree with you that some of the rituals are very sexist. I incorporated a few Hindu rituals into our wedding ceremony, but definitely excluded the ones that I didn't care for like the kanyadaan (giving away the bride). I had both of my parents walk me down the aisle (we had a very nontraditional wedding for which we completely designed the ceremony ourselves). I didn't care too much about the mangal sutra - my mom was really in favor of it, but doesn't care if I wear it or not now.
In case you're interested, here's what we did:
http://houseofpeanut.blogspot.com/2005/05/if-sk...
In case you're interested, here's what we did:
http://houseofpeanut.blogspot.com/2005/05/if-sk...
4 months ago
in The Sanjay Subrahmanyan Show - Episode 10 - On Dandapani Desigar with Sriram V on Carnatic Music and anything else
A little digression from Desikar as such but I was wondering about the source of Sriram's comment in this podcast about Bharatidasan being notorious for not liking his poetry to be notated. This to me largely seems to me a misconception and a cliche. We are talking about a poet who established a Tamizhisai Kazhakam (and subsequently an Azhagisai kUttar kazhakam) as early as 1941 a good two years before Raja Sir Annamalai Chettiyar and who even wrote Tamil lyrics for Tyagaraja's compositions (to prove the point that Tamizh compositions can be sung with Sangatis) and published his own and several other poet's lyrics( incl Pa.Jivanandam's varna mettu based on Tyagaraja's Amrtavahini composition )in early Tamizh periodicals such as Kuyil. Infact his writings have been routinely set to tune and published in the magazines he himself ran by several folks like Kanchipuram Ko.Dandapani Pillai and Chidambaram T.R.Perumal.
1 reply
arasi
And Bharatidasan (Subburatinam) used to sing (give concerts more or less!) at weddings and gatherings in Pondicheri where he came to know SubramaNia BArati. He took on the pseudonym BharatidAsan because of his great admiration and affection for the mahA kavi.
bArati encouraged him no end in his singing and in his writing poetry...
Nagarajan,
Desikar lived in Deenadayalu Street. I would see him sitting outside, his placid face breaking into a little smile of recognition...
bArati encouraged him no end in his singing and in his writing poetry...
Nagarajan,
Desikar lived in Deenadayalu Street. I would see him sitting outside, his placid face breaking into a little smile of recognition...
7 months ago
in You have the power on Almost As Good As Chocolate
Shripriya,
49-0 is awesome, I wasn't aware of it! I wish these energies do get focussed and do not mean to sound pessimistic.
But how does one prevent a bunch of political parties buying out people and making them vote? When it is the question of the next meal to eat or the security money provides I am sure there will be hundreds willing to take it.
Are we as citizens willing to take a stance and not paying that bribe to the official who does something for it? The parties and politicians are not something that have descended out of the skies but they are made of the same material as the people. Corrupt people create corrupt politicians. Whether it is the issue of copyrights, corruption, environment , or even filing an FIR / complaint or going to the court why do we as a nation lack ethics, take easy routes and never go the legal route? So how do you think politicians would change without this essential internal character change among citizens?
49-0 is awesome, I wasn't aware of it! I wish these energies do get focussed and do not mean to sound pessimistic.
But how does one prevent a bunch of political parties buying out people and making them vote? When it is the question of the next meal to eat or the security money provides I am sure there will be hundreds willing to take it.
Are we as citizens willing to take a stance and not paying that bribe to the official who does something for it? The parties and politicians are not something that have descended out of the skies but they are made of the same material as the people. Corrupt people create corrupt politicians. Whether it is the issue of copyrights, corruption, environment , or even filing an FIR / complaint or going to the court why do we as a nation lack ethics, take easy routes and never go the legal route? So how do you think politicians would change without this essential internal character change among citizens?
1 reply
Shripriya
Vidya - all valid points. I don't know how you prevent vote buying. Maybe by hoping the poor would prefer to live safely than have a temporary handout - why on earth wouldn't they be pissed as hell too? Maybe you have to buy votes. I hope not.
I do think you need the "vote banks". You can get them by paying or making them care. The draft manifesto will first have to be translated into the local languages. It is not going to get far in English!
There are lots of details that need to be clarified for this to work. But this is the first hopeful effort I've seen that has some chance. Hope can be in silent prayer or hope can be something that can translate into tangible change and this has the potential. But potential is not enough... let's hope enough smart people get involved and figure out the nuances!
Offer to help - prem.panicker at gmail dot com is collecting volunteers to join the effort.
Re: corruption - don't know if you have to tackle it with this problem, but it has to be, you're right. What about the Singapore approach? Publish, punish and jail anyone giving/taking bribes. It would have to an independent body that you believe is not corrupt (d'oh)... I don't know if there is the appetite to tackle that quite yet...
I do think you need the "vote banks". You can get them by paying or making them care. The draft manifesto will first have to be translated into the local languages. It is not going to get far in English!
There are lots of details that need to be clarified for this to work. But this is the first hopeful effort I've seen that has some chance. Hope can be in silent prayer or hope can be something that can translate into tangible change and this has the potential. But potential is not enough... let's hope enough smart people get involved and figure out the nuances!
Offer to help - prem.panicker at gmail dot com is collecting volunteers to join the effort.
Re: corruption - don't know if you have to tackle it with this problem, but it has to be, you're right. What about the Singapore approach? Publish, punish and jail anyone giving/taking bribes. It would have to an independent body that you believe is not corrupt (d'oh)... I don't know if there is the appetite to tackle that quite yet...
>Yes but don't both parties in the marriage wear these rings. "
In America, both parties wearing wedding rings is rather new. If you look at older wedding books you'll see how to have a "double ring ceremony," which means both partners are going to get rings. Before the Great Depression, only 15% of men wore wedding rings. After WWII, it was up to 80%. Never underestimate the power of marketing.
There are still many religions and cultures where only the woman is wearing a wedding band.
And even if the man does wear a wedding band, the vast majority of women in America get engagement rings, which shows she's "taken," whereas the vast majority of men don't wear any sort of engagement ring. (I know this intimately because my husband and I both wore engagement bands and people who didn't understand his Claddagh assumed we were already married.)