DISQUS

Ahhh. This is a true and wise adage.

I have some theories about why it happens, but they all have big holes.

So yes, a big universe mystery is good enough :)

Thanks for this, it's a great post.

How ridiculously awesome would it be to have two of these bad boys to develop on. Ahhhhh.

Agreed.

And I think you can take your last thought and mash it onto the first :). Not that you'll ever get ONE service to rule them all, but that if you look "smart/hard" enough, you'll find a very few services to do what you need.

Wholeheartedly agreed.

Thanks for the open post Simon, hope your investments pay off!

Mark - Most definitely, kids are resilient. And things go both ways :) Thanks for the encouragement!

Bryan - I imagine that him handling it well now will bode very well for his future. Thanks for sharing!

Yeah, I've seen too much unecc. heartache when there's anger and bitterness amongst siblings. Well, more than usual grumpiness.

Albert,
Thank _you_ for sharing with us!
You are correct, some days we will feel very alone. We do need to be able to find joy when we are like that.

Tim,
That is it. Love.

John,

That's great advice. My Folks gave similar advice while we were growing up. Proactive behaviour helps a lot in that instance.

That's a moving post Pai. Agreed and doubly agreed.

I'm very blessed to have had a Dad who was around, and still is. My folks are more in love now than ever.

But the truth of what you say is still the same. We can be better as Dad's. Cherishing each moment we have with our kids, while we have them as "kids", and then beyond.

Cheers!

On the mark. The Other-Centered-ness of a blog really makes it attractive to me.

Yeah, similar to you Chris. We trust sites like Nick and NickJr to not have anything dodgy (this might be a problem? but not as far as I've seen).

Otherwise we're pretty strict about where they go. Young at the moment. Will have to reevaluate soon I'm sure :)

Love your two underestimations, especially the second. How little you care about all the changes that would seem from the outside to be earth-shattering.

All the best Mike, to you and your Family!

The purpose of doing something like this is to "train" your children, which could be argued is a form of manipulation (which in my book isn't a bad thing). We've trained our kids from word go pretty much, gradually putting more and more emphasis on them listening to what we say and responding accordingly.

At a certain age you need to start putting stops in place. Whether it's holding the object to get them to say please, or taking it off them when they don't, or just talking to them .. You are still training them.

Jeff,

Good stuff. Have yet to get to teen or even tween dom. But it's approaching fast. Already my girls are moving on their own paths.

Your last header is very cool. Letting go IS harder than wiping a dirty bottom :).

You teach your kids discernment. When they're young, you have control. Once they go to school (or whatever) control lessens, until I imagine at some point during the teenage years it's almost gone. Their responsibility for making their own decisions rises accordingly.

So for me, one of the most important lessons is to realise my kids aren't MINE. We have them for a brief period. We teach them what we think is important, and hope and pray that they make the right decisions when the time comes that the big questions (and small ones) are asked.

And what we see as important is compassion, humility, discernment, meekness (meek not weak), love, joy .. etc. And we do this through living our own lives in the same accord as we are teaching.

I love this site, the conversations that are being sparked, the thoughts I'm finding need clarity in my own mind. Fantastic!

Didn't really answer the question. I guess too, it's important for the kids to see the kinds of friends we (the parents) have. How we relate to one another. My wife is my best friend, and vica-versa, so right there, they see a friendship. It's more, but it's still a friendship. Very important.

I'd say it depends on your definition of "Play" and really, of spending time together.

In every culture there would have been father's who spent _time_ with their children, and there would have been those who don't, just like today.

Granted, there are societal changes. Granted, electricity changed everything :). But still, just because our understanding of "Play" is evolving doesn't mean that the base concept that's discussed here (Time, Presence) hasn't always happened.

Incidentally, some great posts on "play" and "game", here on Corvus' blog, and here on The Brainy Gamer.

Ed,

Great stuff! Love your phrasing. " .. how much it means to them for you to be in their world."

Brad wrote a post, Requesting Your Presence a while back which echoes what you are saying.

Thanks for stimulating conversation. Makes me think about being better at turning "off" all the distractions and playing with the kids.

Zach,

Ha ha, that's awesome. Not the blaming part :) The voices one.

Fantastic stuff. Makes for some positive reinforcement for us parents :)

I'm having to reach back into memory :)

- The Lion's Paw
- The Three Little BushPigs
- The Wishing Chair
- The Magic Far Away Tree
- Pilgrim's Progress
- Fox In Socks
- A Fish Out Of Water
- Scuffy the Tugboat

Oh man, there are so many. I can't remember them all. Crazy how I've never thought about it, but there's already a trail of great books our kids have been introduced to. Cool!

Oh man. It's like one part "walk away" and ten parts "I'll go down there myself and take him on!".

My instant reaction is to fire up and storm into the situation. I'm bigger 'n' stronger 'n' they'd better listen and stop it right now.

Course, that doesn't work very well. And somewhere there'll be a dad bigger than me :).

What we _did_ when our eldest was getting hit by his friend was spend some time alone with him.

A very important lesson is there to be learned. Friends, foes and the uncaring, they can all be mean. This is life. What matters is the intent behind the reaction.

If one of my kids flies back and knocks the aggressor down, I'll be proud of them. And then we'll make an effort to nurture compassion within them.

If one of my kids takes the hit and won't react, as has happened, I'll be proud, so very proud of them. And then we'll make an effort to make sure they understand _why_ someone would do that. To understand that friendships can endure through a bit of wierdness.

And that we love them unconditionally. Sappy. It's worked so far. Course, we're not into the teens yet :)

These are very excellent points Mark! The "Journal" one is something we haven't thought of, very cool.

Audio Books make a big difference, as do Games.

Your last point about discussing Family is really spot on. It _is_ a great time to discuss family, and all that surrounds.

Thanks for some great tips!

Simon,

Great to hear that tools like Facebook have enabled you and your kids to refresh your relationship. There are big positives to be found in our new world of online social media .. stuff.

theguth, Ahh, Charlie and Lola. Kids used to watch that a lot, cept it's not on telly here anymore.

Sandie, Awesome! Giving the kids the opportunity to push their imagination is fantastic.

Eric, That is a really good idea! I guess it would have to be a piece of public domain? Otherwise, there are some crackers we could do. Any suggestions?

xadrian, The Lorax is a great book to do the voices with. All those magical words and sentence structures :)

Roger, Exactly! A real test of the mental agility.

Marc, Ahhh, the Bad Guy. Yeah. All my girl's voices pretty much sound the same :), high pitched squeal.

Ed, Ha ha. That's some fantastic memories for them, and you.

Francis, It's great to hear that you're still reading to them. Hoping it's the same when my kids get there.