Disqus - Latest Comments for mattdm

Re: noodad » Frustrations of a One Word Kid

mattdm — Tue, 30 May 2006 08:45:07 -0000

You may want to try [URL=http://signingtime.com/]Baby Signing Time[/URL]. We\'ve been doing this with our daughter since she was 8 months or so, and it\'s been a great success.

This could really help with your son\'s the frustration, and it\'s fun for parents too.

As a plus, the DVDs are [I]way[/I] better produced than most designed-for-toddlers discs -- far above the Baby Einstein league. And the music is some of the least-horrible kids music I\'ve come across.

Re: noodad » Frustrations of a One Word Kid

mattdm — Tue, 30 May 2006 08:48:36 -0000

The [URL=http://www.signingtime.com/store/babysigningtimedvdgiftset-p-63.html]Baby Signing Time Gift Set[/URL], which includes both of the toddler-oriented episodes, is $55, but it\'s without question some of the best $55 we\'ve spent on baby stuff.

Re: noodad » The Disaster Called Co-Sleeping

mattdm — Mon, 12 Jun 2006 17:15:26 -0000

If this is your line of reasoning, really, you shouldn\'t have kids at all.

Re: noodad » The Disaster Called Co-Sleeping

mattdm — Tue, 13 Jun 2006 18:18:01 -0000

I had written a long reply, but your CMS wiped it out when I was trying to add a link. For now, I\'ll just answer \"the article\". More tomorrow.

Re: noodad » The Disaster Called Co-Sleeping

mattdm — Wed, 14 Jun 2006 01:26:51 -0000

If you believe you can have a kid and have everything be the same as before with no work and no sacrifice, well, obviously you\'re wrong. You have to adjust your previous life in ways which provide the best for your new child.

There are basically three things the article is concerned about -- danger to the baby, impediments to sex, and the fear that it\'s impossible to stop.

The first, the danger, is basically untrue. You\'re not going to squoosh the baby any more than you\'re going to roll out of the bed onto the floor in the middle of the night. There\'s really only a danger here if you\'re drinking or on some other substance. And of course you need a firm bed and no heavy blankets.

The second is of course a concern to all men, but realistically, if your sex life doesn\'t take a hit after you have kids (particularly in the first three months), you are an aberration. (A very lucky aberration, but still.) And cosleeping just means you have to find some other time and place for the \"bedtime magic\" -- and if you can\'t do that, you\'re not trying very hard.

And finally, the \"you\'ll never be able to stop\" idea. This is probably true for some people, but it wasn\'t for us. We coslept for about a year, until our daughter started getting more mobile. At that point, we transitioned her to her own crib in her own room, a process which took about a week (with two hard nights right at first). And that was with no \"crying it out\".

That\'s the rebuttal to the \"warnings\" of the article. On the other side, there are significant benefits. Unlike, say, reptiles, newborn human babies are meant to be under the care of parents. Sleeping next to mom and dad helps regulate the baby\'s sleep and breathing. And obviously it makes breastfeeding easier for mom (don\'t discount the benefits of \"making things easier for mom\" on helping your relationship!). But beyond that, some studies have shown that babies who cosleep grow into happier and better adjusted and better disciplined children and adults. And, as a new parent, it\'s really nice to be able to glance over in the middle of the night and see that your little one is all right.

Re: noodad » The Disaster Called Co-Sleeping

mattdm — Wed, 14 Jun 2006 01:47:04 -0000

It\'s hard to do good scientific studies on SIDS because, as scary as it is, it\'s really pretty rare, especially now that we know to put babies to sleep on their backs and to cut out second-hand smoke. But take a look at the graph at the end of the [URL=http://www.babyreference.com/Cosleeping&SIDSFactSheet.htm;]link rupertz gave[/URL] -- that\'s based on percentages and makes some interesting general conclusions. But you can go look this up yourself. When you factor out suffocations due to drunkeness and drugs -- which often happen on a couch or somewhere, not while cosleeping at night -- there\'s no evidence at all of a risk here and may be some indication that it\'s actually safer because you\'re more aware of the baby\'s sleep.

Then there\'s the cry of \"co-dependency\". There\'s nothing \"co\" about it -- tiny babies are COMPLETELY dependent on their parents. That\'s the way we are. (See earier comment about humans vs reptiles.) And to re-emphasize what rupertz says, Dr. Sears isn\'t some starry-eyed hippy parent with no actual knowledge. He\'s a doctor, and knows that little babies need to be taken care of.

Then there\'s the assertation by both foodad and noodad that cosleeping is \"weak\" and shows poor discipline. I suppose this is true if your ideal of fatherhood is the 1950s or Victorian-era father, with the whole \"I\'m the [I]breadwinner[/I]; taking care of the kids is women\'s work, call me when they\'re big enough to play baseball or if they need hitting with a belt\" thing. But real discipline is about more than being a hard-ass just for the sake of being The Discipline Guy. (If you want that, get a job as a drill instructor or a high-school vice principal.)

I highly encourage you both to read Dr. Sear\'s [URL=http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp]suggestions on discipline[/URL], particularly the first two links there.

Re: noodad » The Argument That Can’t Be Won

mattdm — Wed, 14 Jun 2006 04:07:21 -0000

Maybe rather than arguing, try asking questions -- \"You sound pretty sure of yourself. How do you know?\"

And after that, maybe something about it not being nice to tell people they don\'t know what they\'re talking about. And maybe also something about how it\'s okay to be wrong.

Oh, I\'m full of advice. :)

Re: noodad » The 5 Worst Gifts for Noodads on Fathers Day

mattdm — Thu, 15 Jun 2006 08:29:13 -0000

I am [I]so[/I] with you guys on this one. :)