DISQUS

Good point. I agree with the others who said you're not giving yourself enough credit for your impact. Thanks for sharing this! (And I love your mission statement.)

That's funny and too-often too true! My husband is one of the rare males with the ability to see dust -- and he thinks that *I* am the one a bit visually challenged. Housekeeping differences can definitely add to relationship strains (and can be symptoms of deeper underlying issues/struggles). My husband's 16-year-old niece lived with us for a year and her excessive messiness absolutely heightened the challenge of sharing our home and hearts, and I dare say possibly was a core manifestation that led to a deteriorating, stressful situation.

Exuberant and full of faith, excitement, and love, like the ones of my youth when I saw and felt things from a child's perspective. Real and genuine to the core, even with more distant relatives not seen often (getting through small talk to truly learn more about one another).

Truly, at my dream home's core is ORDER and ORGANIZATION. My big, old, imperfectly beautiful nearly-my-dream home has various needs/wants (a leak fixed, an oak wood floor board replaced due to termite damage, a kitchen revamp), but it is overrun with too much stuff that makes my breath shallow and my head hurt (when I'm searching for something!). I'm continuing my quest this year to declutter (and be a better steward by giving away good things we no longer use).

A streamlined house that exudes harmony -- that's my vision and goal for my dream home! (And if I get to update my kitchen, then that's a wonderful bonus.) :-)

Rosebud Salve!

It's timeless (been around since 1895) and the uses for it are nearly limitless: chapped skin, blemishes, diaper rash, burns ... it keeps my lips from being dry, especially in winter, and I use it sparingly as a night moisturizer when my face needs some extra help (it helps lock in lotion and I mainly apply it under my eyes and on my forehead -- and on my nose after it's been abused from a cold or allergies!).

You can order it online from a variety of sources or you can call the Rosebud Perfume Company direct in Woodsboro, MD (301-845-8788) and they'll send you an order form (there's no minimum and it's ultra inexpensive going straight to the source); they don't take credit cards but do take checks or money orders, and they also have other products including Rosewater & Glycerine Cream lotion and Witch Hazel Soap.

No, I don't have any stock or business connection to the company. :-) But I'm a loyal, lifetime fan -- my parents always had Rosebud Salve on hand and I'm following suit.

This is so cool! You're having a real harvest-type celebration like neighbors a generation or so ago did routinely. I love hearing my parents talk of harvests -- shucking corn or, well, killing hogs (I realize that is NOT a romantic notion!) or other types of situations where neighbors came together, worked hard, and celebrated the end of their labor with a grand feast. Families helped one another, bonded in the process, and enjoyed and built not only a "sense" of community but honest to goodness friendships ...

Here's to a great "harvest" for you!

I think maybe a lot of us are guilty of being "half" in the moment too often -- because our minds are whirling with thoughts unrelated to what's actually going on. I also think that multitasking is a huge component of not being fully present. For a long time it was billed as a super productive way of life: talk on phone, drive, put on nail polish -- all at once! Or fold laundry, have conversation with husband, pretend play with son -- all at once. ... I'm glad that research is now emerging that shows multitasking is NOT more productive in the long haul. So being in the moment can, I think, be as simple as "registering" where you are and what you're doing instead of letting your mind take your thoughts elsewhere.

I am DELIBERATE in noticing the moment instead of thinking about the past or the future. Sometimes I stop and mentally capture the moment, the feeling, the love. Looking around you and realizing that NOW is the only guaranteed time we have is a powerful realization when you absorb its truth, its beauty, and its clarity.

Thank you!

I've always been curious about my origins but never put action to thought. I was adopted when I was six weeks old by the most wonderful parents -- and I truly have claimed their heritage. Sometimes I forget it isn't mine biologically.

But when I was pregnant, full of a growing baby and wild hormones, I wept one day, realizing that my birth mother experienced none of the positive emotions and happy expectations that I and everyone in my life gave me during that time. It was 1969 and she was sequestered, sent away to a home for unwed mothers. And when I gave birth to my son four years ago (tonight at 7:45 {at a midwife attended homebirth} to be exact!) I had this overwhelming epiphany: Wow! Here is the one and only other person who has EVER been in my life that I'm linked to genetically.

I'm rambling, but my point is that I'm more intrinsically curious about my biological origins as I look into the inquisitive blue eyes of my son (that are the same color as mine that are the same color as my birth mother's {one of the few "nonidentifying" facts I know}). What would happen if I acted on this curiosity and tried to find her? (The NC law changed Jan. 1 of this year, making it a bit easier to do.) I don't know. And maybe it's the unknown that keeps holding me back.

I don't seek a mother or father; those roles are filled. But I would like to tell my birth mother that I'm well, that my childhood was wonderful overall, that I have always been grateful to her and thankful for her selflessness. I would look into her blue eyes and say that I love her for giving me my beginning ... and if she holds any blame or shame, then please, release it!

Ditto to this as well! My work also seems to "require" multiple checks (I'm glad to say I HAVE turned off the darn auto-check) ... and when some (unexpected, "urgent") request plops in from my biggest client, suddenly I either shift what I was doing to do her bidding (and get off track with the day's agenda/schedule) *or* -- and sometimes this is worse -- I spend so much energy THINKING about, oh dear, I HAVE to get that done ASAP. Yes, checking e-mails can be exactly as you described!

Ditto to this! Sometimes I'm being "super productive" with several things ... but not truly participating any of them as though almost on auto-pilot. So yes, experience more focus and savor the process of the task (and not just the completion).

You are absolutely right! This should be an Eureka! moment for us all. Yes! Life is "in sync with my intentions. Proportion is unique to everyone and only works when it's created intentionally." And it's so true that these proportions will shift and change as our situations and desires (and commitments) do. Thanks for this great reminder that it really is OK to say no to a lovely invitation to be with friends in order to finish my research paper -- I'm back in grad school for my master's degree; only part-time but the work load and commitment (and desire to keep my 4.0) still require that I let go of other things. Because of your blog, I realize I can let go of my pocket of guilt too! :-)

My company is in the process of offering Legacy Statements (an ethical will plus more emotion and memoir) as a new service, so I would write mine pronto. Looking at death deliberately (not morbidly) gives us clarity. And Patti is so right -- when you're down to only 37 days, it's too late in some ways. We need to proactively claim and develop our life's theme and priorities and then live what we say we believe. (And having a Style Statement plays into this splendidly when we carry it across all aspects of life.)

As for me, besides the Legacy Statement? Hug and kiss my husband, son, parents even more. Tell everyone why I love them. Eat dark chocolate and not worry about it going directly to my BEEhind. Write and play with abandon. Turn up the music. Thank God for all the blessings throughout my life. And be thankful I just got more life insurance for those I'll leave behind.

I like that philosophy. What helps me since having a child is looking at others -- especially those who are hard to love up close! -- and realizing they are someone's child. They were someone's treasured baby. Or for those who had no one who treasured them (or neglected or abused them), then they deserve even more of our compassion. Not that it's an excuse not to rise above circumstances ... but some people have had more struggles just to get to level ground. We all have a story, and we also have a background and sometimes are going through challenges (that aren't visible to others) that affect us ...

You're so right (exposing fears of being rejected). I hadn't thought of it in those terms. I currently have that same reaction (anger -- along with amazement/disbelief that some people have such inflated egos/treat others so shabbily). And yes, it does have to do with my fear of rejection ... AND a feeling that I'm being discounted or disrespected. I deserve to be valued! (I deal with a lot of BIG egos with some of my work projects. I'm still struggling with finding ways NOT to react personally or let it drain me emotionally.)

My sky-blue eyes have been my best natural feature (long before those darn colored lenses took away some of the wow factor). :-) I'm adopted, and the sketchy nonidentifying info states that my birth mom has blue eyes ... and my son is carrying on that biological tradition. Everyone always comments on our eyes.

On a deeper level, I appreciate my body's strength. Mainly I used to ignore my body unless I was criticizing it (and I was in a Miss America preliminary pageant when I was younger and my "committee" said lots of negative things that still play in my head occasionally), but now I see its wonder and thank God for it. We're so hard on our bodies, judging them and finding fault -- but they carry us, literally, through the day, through our lives, through everything.

A song on one of my son's CD's is "I Love My Body Parts," and I accidentally found myself singing along to it as I was in front of the mirror. REVOLUTIONARY! I stopped and looked at myself. Yes, I do love my body parts! We all need to incorporate songs and language and love into the treatment of our bodies instead of voicing disappointment and longing for something else (different hair, longer legs, smaller butt!, whatever). This is so counter-culture, but we can do it -- let's have a revolution!

Not to sound sexist, but "woman's intuition" came to mind when reading through the earlier replies. I do think men have intuition, but perhaps historically women have honed this skill more (and right or wrong, culture and society seem to give females more power and innate validity in this domain). Personally, yes, like Carrie, my intuition is 99% trustworthy -- and the absence of this intuitive feeling is usually accompanied by *physical* signs (a stomach in knots, for instance) that warn me I'm not on the right decision path.

This is a wonderful question. I do think we (myself very much included) need to ACT on our beliefs more instead of only giving lip service and/or half-hearted efforts to them -- and yet as so many have said, we're complex. A quote I read years ago has stuck with me, paraphrasing: "We humans are far too complicated and complex not to have contradictions." Therein lies our "struggle" to mesh what we say with what we do. And of course life adds further complexity in our ideal decisions -- ie. it takes more of a money commitment (that we may not have to spare!) in terms of buying ALL organic/more humane/more environmentally friendly items. Ah, life is a balance...but the fact that we are becoming more aware and more deliberate in our actions is progress (even with our contradictions and limitations). Thanks for reminding us of this!

I'm excited about going back for my MASTER'S DEGREE (will be almost half-way through after this semester!).
Having real two-way CONVERSATIONS with my almost-four-year-old excites and thrills me (who IS this amazing little guy who already has -- and talks about -- separate experiences, thoughts, and dreams from his parents?).
MY HUSBAND and soulmate excites me.
MY PARENTS still walking the earth with me excites me and fills me with gratitude.
BUSINESS GOALS that will evolve and push and grow me excite me.
Our new CHURCH PASTOR excites me because he's teaching, reaching, and stretching our collective and individual minds/spirits.
At my core, HOPE excites and sustains and propels me.
And like Danielle, there is much excitement in those more daily happenings too (that can serve to make up the backbone of our lives and, well, my backside as well!): yummy organic BAGELS, a favorite SONG played deafening loud and accompanied by my own voice and body, an extra-good WORKOUT or WALK with the dog ...
I'm a firm believer in the power of excitement -- our lives should constantly excite us!

Absolutely time and money would be the luxurious gift I'd request. With those two, anything else is possible. I'm also like Carrie in that I'm not after acquiring more things that would require management (more time and money!). More time and money equal freedom, limitless possibilities, and endless options on experiencing life on this earth (and I'd help others during the process too).

I echo those needs (time and money), and frankly, without them (especially the money), I currently feel hobbled and "piecemeal" in my attempts. However, I think sometimes a lack of [fill in the blank: money, time, proper opportunities] is a way for us to suck in a deep breath, ingesting a huge amount of faith and intestinal fortitude and keep going in spite of whatever our limitations are. At the moment, my challenges (money, mainly) loom large, and yet my mustard seed of belief refuses to die. So I guess I'm saying that in addition to much needed tangibles to keep our vision moving forward, we must also have those potent emotions in place (especially in those times when the tangibles are slow to present themselves).

Wow! I gave up reading all the replies -- and yet I'm adding to the deluge. Whitline Ink is in the midst of moving offices, and it's exciting how I'm using my Style Statement (Genuine Heritage) to thoughtfully and deliberately create my new (smaller!) office, both in large and small ways: plastic trash can? I think not! I'll have one room as all mine in a 1950s house that has a delightful "cottage" feel, complete with Brazilian hardwood floors, fresh paint ... and a lovely view of two huge oak trees out my office's front window. A lot of what I do is "creative" and so having a more naturally creative environment, atmosphere, and space will be, I hope, revolutionary. Or at least rejuvenating!

I have to share a portion of one interview from a current project I'm writing on female entrepreneurs (for a college alumni magazine): This alumna, Jill Rossi, began her own interior design firm in 2002. On her website (www.jillrossi.com) she writes, "The spaces we inhabit and the objects with which we surround ourselves have a direct impact on our emotional well-being. By creating positive, nurturing environments these places can serve as constant wellsprings of positive experience in our lives."

Something Jill said during our interview that struck a chord with me is that "One of my biggest pet peeves is lifestyle magazines. People subscribe to a lifestyle and then go through as a checklist, getting items without putting thought into what their bringing into their lives." Not that magazines aren't a great source of inspiration, but we shouldn't be content to reproduce someone else's vision without injecting our own. "Cultivate a lifestyle that nurtures you. YOU can create your own lifestyle that's reflective of you, not a marketing agency."

Jill provides staging services for people selling homes. (Where less is always more, and clutter-free is key.) When she was having part of her own home renovated, she packed everything away in that room -- every picture, every nicknack. Afterward, she said, "We moved the furniture back but no things. It was wonderful. Peaceful." She said sometimes that removing everything, even if only temporarily, can help neutralize a room and give you a new perspective (and you can put more thought into what goes back).

This sounds worthy of starting as part of a daily morning ritual!

Last week my son announced, "I want to fly." OK, I told him, starting to raise my arms for a quick flight, Let's go. "No," he stopped me. "Not pretend. I want to REALLY fly." He's almost four years old, and he's not satisfied to make pretend coffee (yes, he actually attempts a real pot of the stuff, water and all) or have a make-believe whirl around the room. THAT is how I want to feel today: As if I can truly take flight. No more worthless flapping of my wings while I sit still, telling myself I'm content with not actually going anywhere. I want to convince myself I can spread my mind and leave the ground. Now, I'm not saying I'm going to jump off my second-story roof and see what happens :-) -- but I want to stretch my brain to new levels of belief. I want to REALLY fly...