DISQUS

Can you just remind me what is the best way to tune in to the Conference please? Is it here or on another site?

GOOD LUCK!!! You both deserve it to be a great success. I hope that everyone benefits from the exchange of ideas and knowledge that you are making happen.

Maybe it's the Cali in me, but (as we discussed on IM while you wrote this blog) there are some holes in your argument.
Disclaimer: Now for those women who are reading this, this is just my opinion, and I only speak for myself and my experiences, and not for black men.



Don't tell us what you think we want to hear.

Why would we do that, when the truth would hurt you more? Just imagine if your S.O. pulled a Al Bundy and said "it's not the dress that makes you look fat, it's the FAT that makes you look fat." Naw, we rather lie and keep the evening smooth.



If you are into her ....call her back, show up when you are supposed to, follow through, don't be an ass!!!!!

If a man's into you, he will do those things and it will become a labour of love for him. He won't think about the consequences, it will just happen. If he's not doing it, it's not because he's lazy, it's because HE'S NOT INTO YOU. Think about it from a professional standpoint: if a company wants to hire you, they won't chill and just sit there. They will call you, make you an offer, and ask for your decision. Simple as that. Men make it known if we're interested. And if you act half ass on your interest as well, a GOOD man with options won't wait for you. (FYI)



Fineness doesn't equate to having a level head or compatibility. Ms Right could be sitting right next to you.

You are absolutely right. However, if "Ms. Right" looks like Lil' Wayne, men won't talk to her. PERIOD. As we talked about before, men are visual creatures, and the first thing that attracts us to you is your looks. Now, speaking for myself, looks may get you in the door, but who you are INSIDE is what keeps you inside of my house. The problem we have in our society is that women who are considered "trophy material" are not given an incentive by our society to be "good women" because "bitch niggas" give them passes because of their looks.



You are't wifing Wal-Mart girl, so why should I be forced to marry Mr. Paper or Plastic? Guys, every woman does not want you to be her sugar daddy.

Now, although I agree with that, there's a certain aspect of this that we're missing here. A lot of women complain about men being intimidated by successful women. Granted, there are some men who actually are. But a real man is not. But what keeps some good men from dealing with successful women is that, just like in the greek world where people always talk about their journeys into their respective orgs and want to throw it in everyone's faces, black successful women sometimes have this tendency to do the same, and it's a turnoff to black men, especially if we're on par with you. Both sides compete enough in the workplace during the day; turn that eurocentric corporate mess off when you walk through the door of your home. THANKS!! (This one alludes to #8, but still needed to be said, damnit)



Find out if she is still emotionally attached to her former boo. If she is still hung up on him, you will never make headway and will never touch her heart like you should.

Some women will argue that the best way to get over someone is to spend time with someone else. The problem is that some women play games with men, and don't make it known what their situations are. Ladies, don't wait until a man takes you out to drop the "I'm not over my ex" bomb. And dudes, once you find this out, give her 3-6 months of space before you try to holla at her, especially if it was her that broke it off.



Newsflash - Black couples can build together just like any other nationality.

Newsflash: We can do this, but we don't do enough of it. Why? Because it's not encouraged in our communities. And shows such as the upcoming show "Real Housewives of Atlanta" do not encourage it either. Not many black women these days are into a relationship based on organic growth; they're more about acquisitional growth. Translation: I can count on one hand how many women wanted to date me when I was broke, making $35k a year, living in an apartment, and driving a beat up Maxima. 3 years later, I get a MBA, purchase a home, and drive a luxury car, and all of a sudden the game changed (even with women who knew me when I was broke). Were they trying to work with me when I was broke?.......... EXACTLY



Other than that, great post. ;)

Sorry LBS, but that mentality only works with women. As a man, it is our job to find a wife, not just wait and hope she falls into our lap.
Right now, finding a wife right now is third of my priority list behind God and my professional career, so I'm technically in that "I'm doing me" phase right now. At the same time, I'm not stupid, and I'm not one to block my blessing. God knows my heart and my desires, and I'm waiting patiently until my wife is revealed to me. And honestly, God has placed enough good (and bad) women in my life to know when my wife comes. I'll be aight, don't worry.

Great post Chauncey,
Although I will say there are exceptions that exist in each of the age brackets. But I will say that for myself, when I was in the 18-23 bracket I really thought I was grown and ready for a long term woman, but I did realize that I had growing to do personally and professionally before I could grow with another woman.

And just like you, I'm aiming for that 29 and up group. Just like you alluded to, they're not out to prove anything anymore, and are more BETJ and less BET.

I may sound like I'm venting, but in the last year of my dating life, I have yet to meet the woman with the quality characteristics that you mentioned, and at the same time she's attractive, single, and not on a pole somewhere. I definitely agree with your points, but quality women like you described and who don't look like Shrek are a haystack needle.

Great blog Chauncey. I agree with this 100%.
People definitely have to do their due diligence before moving into an engagement, let alone the questions that must be resolved prior to walking down the aisle. All of the 5 points that were brought up are things that you should look for as early as possible, especially 4 and 5.

So many people are in a rush to get married nowadays that they will settle for the minimum, combined with desperate consistency.

Great post Cocoa. I definitely have to agree. It should be more about the women doing it for themselves first and for us second. Not just because it makes your attractiveness more strategic, but as both men and women get older, it gets harder to maintain a healthy weight, especially for women when they start having children. It's pertinent that we all get it right early on. Besides with all of the monkeys on our back as Black Americans, we need to be healthier to get those years back, whether you're overweight or underweight.

I definitely agree with this article, and it's what men have to do regardless of what stage the relationship is in (talking, dating, exclusive, engaged, married, etc). When C Rob talks about cutting ties, he's truly on point with this. Speaking from experience, especially if a separation is bad, your initiative to speak to her, help her out of a jam, facebook her, text her, etc is all out of the window. She's no longer your problem. This is one of the main reasons why it's not a good look to date someone who works with you in some shape or form.
The funny thing about us brothas sometimes is that the pride and fight in us makes it where we can never walk away from a situation without doing everything in our power to make it work, especially if you fall into one or both of these categories:

1. You are really in love with her.

2. Your market value as a man is perceived (internally and/or externally) as low and you don't have better (or in some cases any) options.

When this happens, some men will turn desparate and will go out and and hit women with a diamond-laden pacifier (in other words, they propose). So many women are in love with the idea of being engaged and married that they forget about the setbacks that led to the initial break up in the first place.

I know two women who broke up with their man for showstopping reasons (one hated who she was becoming with him, and the other didn't like how her man raised his daughter) have fallen for this in the last month. What's sad is that I warned them that it would happen, told them how it would happen, yet they still fell for it. In my opinion, the reasons that caused the demise of the relationship in the first place are not resolved. All the engagement ring does is provide, what we call in information technology, a workaround.

I say all this to say that, as men, we need to truly know ourselves and have insight and constant self-assessment into how we operate and what we value. If you know in your heart that you have your way of doing things, and it conflicts with what your girl's doing, you have to be man enough to accept that and move on to find someone who is more compatible with how you operate. Don't stay around just because she's FINE, she can make some mean mac and cheese, or she can make you suck your thumb in the bedroom like Eddie Murphy in Boomerang.

And ladies, as long as you remained more focused and in love with having a diamond on your finger and making wedding plans that you forget about building towards a HEALTHY marriage, tricks like this that desperate men do will continue to work.

As a family, we can't always eat out all the time. And there are going to be times when either the husband or wife have a bad day, and it should not be on just one person in the house to do the cooking all the time. If my wife has a bad day, and I didn't, I can cook. And vice versa.
I'm not tying women to the kitchen. But in most marriages, the primary caretaker is the mother, and the primary provider is the father. Now, if you can't cook, that's fine when we're dating. But between the courtship and the moment I say 'I do', learn something. Will I teach what I know? Of course.

I know me and Posh have had this debate several times, so I won't go any further. :)

I agree 100%. But I'll be damned if I'm doing all of the cooking. Marriage is a partnership where both sides have to bring something to the table. I have no problem cooking, but if my future wife can't, that's STILL a showstopper.

dixaine (comme Dix), c'était pas compliké.

Et voila encore un problème Cornélien :

- choisir le noir et la sobriété & une plus grand compatibilité informatique pour la couleur.
- choisir le blanc et le mariage nickel avec mon iPod 5.5

Concernant Flickr_10g: je reconnais très bien les plats : ils ont servis ça à la cantoche d'Asus cette semaine ;)

Dommage pour The Phone House que l'ère du 7" est révolue !

Il est toujours sous garantie ?
Je lui aurais bien pris, mais il manque un chauffe tasse :p

-1 pour la batterie du HP

Il doit sagir d'une double batterie:
http://reviews.cnet.com/laptops/hp-2133-mini-no...

Et si je me trompe : beurk aussi !

Et question volume, le 2133 jouera plutôt avec le grand frère du 701. Du coup, il n'apparaitra pas tellement plus grand que l'Asus.

Pour le cloudbook (et non pas cloubook, Pierre !), ben les gouts et les couleurs ne ce discute pas.

Moi il me plait bien ce p'tit HP, à part que les plastiques font un peu cheap en photos.

+

Merci Skynotik, comme le dit "Anonyme", le sondage est faussé, même si pour le calcul d'Asus, ce sera la version Xandros qui partira plus vite.

Par contre, pour un XP Home, c'est plutôt 70€ / 80€ encore, et avec l'annonce de MS sur la continuité de service pour XP, je ne pense pas que les prix descendent si rapidement.

C'est pourquoi j'ai voté XP, même si je ne prendrais pas la version Live.

D'ailleur, peut être que j'arriverais cette fois à me convertir :p

Et si maintenant on refait un second sondage :

• J'achète un EEE900 20 Go et je conserve Linux.
• J'achète un EEE900 20 Go pour installer Windows & avoir 8 Go supplémentaire.

Je ne crois pas que XP ce fasse toler autant que ca à regarder les réponses de certains. ;)

moi j'aime bien, on dirait un EEE tout en rondeur

TEN c'est plutôt pas mal je trouve, et puis tu profite du réseau Orange sans être directement lié à l'opérateur.

Ils n'ont vraiment pas de chance chez Asus avec les lancements respectifs du 701 & du 900

Cette fois ci, ils en prennent plein la g* à cause de la batterie :
http://www.silicon.fr/fr/news/2008/04/23/faux_d...
http://www.clubic.com/actualite-137264-asus-sca...
http://www.pc-infopratique.com/actualite-3417-p...

Sans compter le nombre de journalistes qui annoncent l'Atomisation du EEE pour Juin... là encore Asus ne va pas être à la fête en "re"-présentant un Celeron sur les premiers modèles EEE900 :s

Beaucoup de monde ne vont pas comprendre cette politique: quelle différence entre fin mai & juin pour une refonte complète du coeur du système ; tout cela en moins d'un mois...

Je veux bien croire que le 701 à essuyé les plâtres, mais quand on voit qu'il y a un an, Asus à complètement foiré la sortie mondiale du 701 et que maintenant ils parlent déjà de l'Atom, alors que le 900 en version Celeron n'est même pas encore arrivéeee jusqu'à nous...

Wait and seeE :)

euh, je ne trouve qu'un 2G QWERTY pour ... 249 €

J'aurais laissé plus de marge en passant directement à 11" ou 12" maintenant qu'il existe l'intermédiare 900 entre le 701 et le 1001.

De toute facon, pour ma part ce n'est plus la même gamme d'UMPC.

Reste à savoir si demain, les claviers seront AZERTY...

En tout cas, j'espère une sortie début Mai : comme ca je pourrais le demander pour mon anniversaire :p

J'oubliais,

moins : fourni sans alim...
plus : station au bonne dimension, avec un jolie enfoncement pour la batterie de manière à ce que l'EEE ne bouge pas trop.

Pour les plus bricoleurs, le HUB & le HDD devraient rentrer dans le boitier sans trop de problème ;)