Disqus - Latest Comments for RKMK

Re: On Labors of Love, Hope, Growing Pains, Gratitude, and Teaspoons

RKMK — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:21:02 -0000

Comments are open to anyone as long as they don't traffic in racist, sexist, homophobic, or otherwise overtly objectionable commentary. Differences of opinion are welcome; no one has ever been nor will ever be banned on a difference of opinion alone. Threats, trolling, pointless belligerence, and hate speech will get you banned. Or get your comments redacted and/or replaced with an incredibly sophomoric paraphrase, like an announcement that you're a huge douche. If some of that sounds rather arbitrary, well, it is. Ultimately, whether you can comment at Shakesville is at my discretion—and plaintive, angry, or accusatory wailing about free speech will fall on deaf ears. This isn't a public square. This is a safe space.

What exactly is a "safe space"?

This blog is meant to be a refuge from the kind of humor that preys on innate differences in our DNA. What’s Fair Game at this blog is behavior. Actions. Decisions. Choices. Things over which people have control. What’s Off-Limits is anything that wasn’t chosen. Them’s the rules.

Fem101: On Anger

If you have even the merest capacity of imagination, it shouldn't be difficult for you to conjure your emotional reaction if you were, for example, told your entire life that you are equal, only to have the opposite be communicated to you in big and small ways every minute of every day, or if, as another example, there were people who argued that they should have control over some significant function of your body, that they needed to rob you of personal autonomy because they can make better decisions for you than you can for yourself, or if, for instance, you made less money for doing the same job someone else is doing for more, just because of some arbitrary physical feature, like, say, the color of your eyes.

If you are indeed in possession of the capacity of imagination, you have no doubt concluded by this juncture that these scenarios, coupled with a lack of immediate recourse, might make you angry.

So the idea that a feminist/womanist with demonstrable anger is somehow nutz is actually quite stupid.

Here's the other thing: If you are a genuine ally to feminists/womanists, you will never, ever, criticize a feminist/womanist's tone for being "too angry."

And you will never do this because, if you are a genuine ally, not only will you have internalized an understanding of the perfect rationality of the anger expressed by feminists/womanists, but you will also share that anger.

How can you look at a cultural landscape of institutionalized inequality and not be angry, right? I mean, if you're a genuine ally and all.

And, if you are, you'll be glad for that anger, because you know that the opposite of anger, for a progressive, is complacence—and there can be no progress if everyone is perfectly complacent with the way things are.

Progress is dependent on people who get angry, because anger—productive anger, motivating anger, directed anger, rational anger—is the root of all progress.

Feminists/womanists and their allies know that change comes by virtue of anger.

Progress ain't fueled by rainbows and gumdrops.

If you're not angry, you're probably not helping.

Fem 101: Calling Out Fellow Progressives

This oft-wielded cudgel to silence feminists who cry foul at sexism expressed by political allies is wrong for the following reason, which I cannot state any more succinctly than this: When someone engages in divisive behavior, any resulting division is their responsibility. It is, simply, not the duty of any person who is repeatedly subjected to alienating language, images, behaviors, and/or legislation to nonetheless never complain and pledge fealty from the margins. If women, men of color, gay/bi/ trans men, et. al. are valued, then they should not be demeaned—and if they are demeaned, they should not be expected to pretend it does not matter.

Go lightly.

Re: Great Expectations

RKMK — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 17:38:19 -0000

I understand that sometimes tempers flare, and people say things that they regret. In that case, I like it best when there is an acknowledgment and apology, and I've seen that happen in a number of cases at Shakesville.

I quite agree.
*waits patiently*

Re: Great Expectations

RKMK — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 21:05:12 -0000

...

You: I don't see (here in this thread) people caring about Melissa's feelings at all.

Me: 6 concrete examples from this thread from people who are, yes, feeling alienated but also post about how much they care for and respect Melissa.

You: . "Yeah, but have you emailed her?!?"

Way to freaking move the goalposts, there.

Also, no, in the past I have only emailed Melissa when I've come across something I thought she might like to read. I admire her, but we are not close friends, and I do not overstep boundaries.

If she's taking time to escape from the blog, I see no point in peppering her with emails so that she can't escape it. I was not able to come by yesterday, and I left my two cents here, in a thread on the subject that she created, for her to come back to if she feels like coming back to it. I do not require her to respond to me. If she wants to leave it as is, that is her prerogative.

But from your tone, it is quite clear that my two cents are both insufficient and unwelcome. I will take the hint, and also my leave.

Re: Great Expectations

RKMK — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 20:11:40 -0000

... Yeah, I have to stick to my own decision, and step away for awhile. I apologize.

Re: Great Expectations

RKMK — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 20:08:29 -0000

i don't see a whole lot of concern over how melissa feels.

... Oh, really?

CE- I have a lot of respect for Liss and what she does, so I think, like RKMK, I'll stay for the most part out of comments until I seem to be able to make the sorts of contributions that work for Melissa and the community at large.

Me - I'm upset that Melissa is so burnt out and feeling defeated.

tinfoil hattie - I hear lots of support for Melissa and Betty, and I join in that support. Melissa is probably exhausted, and I would be too.; megankay, I'm pretty baffled too, and I'm willing to take this discussion offline with you, to avoid roiling the waters further or making Melissa feel worse.

megankay - Because I cant say it enough: Melissa, you and this space mean the world to me. I try to honestly abide by all the guidelines you set and I am so sorry for not making you feel appreciated enough or like your effort is meaningful. This space, the contributors and other commenters, challenge me every and it's absolutely invaluable. I am so sorry for all of the negative feelings I inspired.

Astraea - First, ((((Liss)))) This has been a really difficult time and I'm sorry a lot of negativity is really getting to you. If you need a break, please take care of yourself.

Broce - Liss, I'm sorry that you are feeling so discouraged, and especially if anything I've written here contributed.

Re: Great Expectations

RKMK — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 18:32:23 -0000

I held his feet to the fire and was taken to task for it. On a feminist blog. I believe there was a change in rules here, or at least a change in the culture, and I didn't see it coming and I still don't get it. Saying Obama represents hope and change and we have to use our teaspoons and stop being negative and give him a chance and we have to get over the election: all acceptable. Disagreeing with these sentiments: no longer okay here. That's my interpretation of the new culture.

I wasn't able to swing by yesterday, but this is pretty much exactly how I felt when I butted heads with Melissa a couple of days ago. I wasn't expecting my words to be interpreted a certain way, or chastised for them, and I felt stung.

I'm upset that people I respect and care about are feeling so alienated, and I'm upset that Melissa is so burnt out and feeling defeated. But I'm also still upset about the last 11 months. It's going to take far more than a week to 'get over it' (if I ever fully do).

However, I respect Melissa and this blog too much to make it all about me, so I'll refrain from contributing until I feel I can do so in the way she wishes.

Re: Daily Kitteh

RKMK — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 19:16:36 -0000

Matilda is my kind of kitteh. *pets*

Re: I Find It Really Interesting...

RKMK — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 19:13:59 -0000

Honestly, Liss, why aren't you writing a nationally-syndicated column? This is prime stuff.

IBTP.

Re: Rahm Emanuel Chosen as Obama's Chief of Staff

RKMK — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 18:35:41 -0000

Oh, Jeremy. I remember you.

We have to say No. Fucking. More.

Re: I Find It Really Interesting...

RKMK — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 17:45:03 -0000

* no primary source

Re: I Find It Really Interesting...

RKMK — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 17:44:44 -0000

I haven't seen that Africa thing substantiated. I've seen people repeating it, but I have to primary source info for the quote. Much like the "I can see Russia from my backyard" thing, I see people repeating the mockery verbatim, but not necessarily the quote itself, which is a problematic habit.

Re: Action Item: No Larry Summers

RKMK — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 16:05:39 -0000

I feel like I can't sign it, as a Canadian, but I appreciate this action item as a citizen of the world. :)

Re: Rahm Emanuel Chosen as Obama's Chief of Staff

RKMK — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 14:17:33 -0000

It would also be nice to see him appoint an out lesbian or gay man.

I'll keep dreaming.

Oh, Astraea. You're so cute. *pets*

Re: Double-yew-tee-eff?

RKMK — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 03:18:42 -0000

How did that shit get published?

Re: The Palin Blaming Begins

RKMK — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 21:59:50 -0000

QOTD: how old are you, and did you have the following mandatory classes:
1) Geography
2) Home Ec
3) Shop

1) Yes. Geography/history social studies mixes all through grade school, intensives in high school - aforementioned Canadian/North American, then international, then my geography OAC (Ontario Academic Credit - you needed minimum 6 OACs to apply to university, back in the day) credits was World Issues.

2) Everyone, male and female, had to take both home ec and shop. My Grade 8 class was divided in half, and we spent the first half of the year doing one or the other, and then halfway through the year, we switched.

Re: The Palin Blaming Begins

RKMK — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 21:52:43 -0000

For the record, this is probably my favorite thread-derailment ever.

It's usually "well what about CLINTON" or "hhat about OBAMA" or something else that results in 600 comments of nonsense.

Here we went from sexism and pilitics to... "you didn't take geography???"

I don't know why this is cracking me up so much, but it is.

I'm sorry, really, it's just.... you guys are supposed to be the leaders of the free world, and all that crap, and how are you supposed to rule the world if you don't know where anything is? Or what the people are like there?

Grade 5 I specifically remember having to memorize the Canadian provinces, and the capitals. Grade 6, I believe, is when I learned that the capital of New York State is not New York City, but Albany. We had mandatory geography in Grade 9 which was an intensive overview of Canadian/North American knowledge, and then in Grade 10, international geography.

I just.... this explains so much.

Re: Rahm Emanuel Chosen as Obama's Chief of Staff

RKMK — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 21:24:03 -0000

Women make up a huge proportion of economic activity, just not in the visible high-end areas and policies like deregulation marginalize economic policies that impact women and make it harder for economic decisions that help them to be passed. Deregulation helps those who possess/amass large amounts of capital but negatively impacts those who spend large amounts of capital. Summers, as with most modern economists, has a huge blindspot about large parts of the economy and often make macroeconomic decisions that negatively impact the microeconomic decisions that make up most of the economic activity and which can take decades to reverberate back up to the macro level- see current economy.

Just wanted to say, Hawise said it better than any of us. :)

Re: Rahm Emanuel Chosen as Obama's Chief of Staff

RKMK — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 21:09:08 -0000

(And for good measure.)

Re: Rahm Emanuel Chosen as Obama's Chief of Staff

RKMK — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 21:01:24 -0000

Also, as far as I'm aware, there's not a solid litmus test for "true progressivism." If it excludes any and all people guilty of "isms," then that's not much of a movement. Are all feminist leaders innocent of racist behavior? Are all environmentalists fully cognizant and well-versed on the issues of diverse abilities? No and no. But we take the best of what we have and try to shape it in a way that makes the world better for all of us.

Actually...

Re: Rahm Emanuel Chosen as Obama's Chief of Staff

RKMK — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 20:42:01 -0000

And there is a real connection between the Secretary's poor view of women, a lack of women in the Department, and economic policies that do little for women even if they improve the economy as a whole. There's no such thing as "less important," it is all interconnected. As RKMK pointed out better than I can.

Actually, I think you said it better than I did. *mwah* :)

Re: Rahm Emanuel Chosen as Obama's Chief of Staff

RKMK — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 20:38:20 -0000

The Secretary of the Treasury is the principal economic advisor to the President and plays a critical role in policy-making by bringing an economic and government financial policy perspective to issues facing the government. The Secretary is responsible for formulating and recommending domestic and international financial, economic, and tax policy, participating in the formulation of broad fiscal policies that have general significance for the economy, and managing the public debt.

I'm sorry, what part of that shouldn't be infused with a plurality of perspectives, especially a few that represent half the population? Whether the effects of certain policies would have negative, unintended consequences for certain segments of the population?

Re: Rahm Emanuel Chosen as Obama's Chief of Staff

RKMK — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 20:23:14 -0000

The face of poverty in this country is a female face--despite this weird political idea that "women's issues" are all abortion, all the time, while the economy is strictly for the menz--and I'm willing to compromise on certain things in service of the greater good (which in case I haven't made in clear, equals less female poverty).

Agreed. Which is why a Treasury headed by a chauvinist who eschews the female perspective and doesn't populate his staff with women who can alert him to the blinders he's wearing would be bad on the whole for women.

Re: Rahm Emanuel Chosen as Obama's Chief of Staff

RKMK — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 20:10:22 -0000

Then I'd say, direct your fire toward those specific major problems. Spraying fire at "Obama's base" in general is only going to alienate Obama supporters who truly are progressive.

The fact that Obama fanbase is infected with fauxgressivism instead of progressivism is a specific major problem. And supporters who are "truly" progressive ought to be able to see that for themselves, regardless of what little-ole-me says.

Re: Rahm Emanuel Chosen as Obama's Chief of Staff

RKMK — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 20:06:35 -0000

If Larry Summers, despite being a sexist, is still a brilliant economist within the context of the work to be done as Treasury Secretary, I think I can overlook his personal failings. Preventing the worst outcome for the economic meltdown will potentially help far more women (who are disproportionately likely to work in the service professions hit worst by a downturn) than it will hurt.

Sure, who cares if the person put in charge of the National Treasury thinks the vaginal population can't do math? I mean, symbolism aside, I'm sure it won't mean that his staff and senior advisors will likely wholly populated with penile Americans with a necessarily limited perspective on fiscal and economic issues, nooooooo.

Re: Rahm Emanuel Chosen as Obama's Chief of Staff

RKMK — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 19:57:30 -0000

The implication that I could possibly forget that really angers and upsets me. I couldn't forget it if I wanted to.

Well, I have to admit, Liss, I was taken aback by your question that my definition of "base" meant "anyone who supported Obama ever", when I thought it would be perfectly clear to anyone who'd spent the last 9 months in your comments would have to have a crystal clear picture of exactly what I was referring to.

But the only thing I can do now is work my teaspoon while I try to find balance between providing support to Americans' new president to make sure he's got a progressive base to which he has to answer, and providing constructive criticism to Americans' new president when there are current, tangible, and personal mistakes he's made that contradict his promises and fail to meet our expectations.

I respect your point of view Liss, but the point is, I haven't seen any real hint that Obama in any way cares about the progressive agenda, or women specifically. There have been little-to-no honest entreaties to reach out and embrace us, and more than a few opportunities to do so. These picks and potential picks - "knitting" Rahm Emanuel, and the floated "lady branez can't do science" Larry Summers, Tim Kaine for Attorney General? - do not fill me with faith that Obama thinks he needs to do Lanything to make amends and build bridges to those ever-bitter Clinton knitters who are just supposed to "get over it."

And I think shutting up about it reinforces that idea with them.

It's not a criticism of you, personally, Liss. I just think that are major problems with the Obama camp, and they need big, hot spotlights directed at them, because in four years he's not going to have an economic crises and 8 years of a Bush government fresh in people's minds, and he likely will have had a rough time riding out this economic crisis, he's going to lose some of that support that could came from Republicans and Independents, and he more than likely will need factions of the original base. And they should get on that, ASAP, but I don't feel they think that that's at all important. So I apologize, but I'm quite likely to continue to be loud and obnoxious.