Disqus - Latest Comments for Matt_J

Re: Freak Flag-What?

Matt_J — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 11:58:33 -0000

Damn, that was some cold, hard, kickin' right in Sammy's balls there.

Anyway, yeah, that's creepy. I admit that sometimes, my eye wanders and takes my fantasies along for a ride, but I don't think I'd be all hitting on someone like that with my wife sitting next to me!!!

Huh.

Some people in my life, I've tried to show them the blog, and they just kind of shrug. However, my wife has said that, if I change the URL of the blog to NOT have my name in it, I can tell any story I want. And, I'm SO effing tempted to do it.

Re: Hoosiers cruise past St. Joe’s in final tune-up, 95-67

Matt_J — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 09:09:11 -0000

Oh, my poor Pumas.

Oh well, time to get back to rooting for the Hoosiers!!!

Re: Game Thread: Saint Joseph’s College @ Indiana

Matt_J — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 13:37:51 -0000

This marks only the second time in my life I will be rooting AGAINST Indiana.

I went to college at St. Joe's. When they played a couple of years ago, I was in heaven...until they broke DJ's foot. *shifty-eyed*

Here's to hoping no one misses half a season this year after the game!

Re: Love my life! But a little bit of FML (Because it IS Friday!)

Matt_J — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:53:22 -0000

I hate to tell you this, my dear, but I've already done the Honest Scrap thing. Better news? I did it TMI-style.

Re: Nom Nom Numb

Matt_J — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:01:59 -0000

It's the "active ingredient" in peppers. It's the molecule that gives you the hot, spicy flavoring. And the burning in your vagoo if you have an unfortunate slip of the tongue.

Re: Nom Nom Numb

Matt_J — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:05:53 -0000

Capsaicin's a bitch.

Re: SUCK IT, Chad Kroeger.

Matt_J — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 11:17:15 -0000

I'm pretty sure that their sole purpose in life is to fill the void in Douchebag Rock left when Creed broke up.

Now that Creed is back together...does that mean that Nickelback can go away?

Re: The World is a stage, too bad nobody wants to watch.

Matt_J — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 10:05:46 -0000

If I like the song, I'll join you. Or, even if I don't like the song but sort of know the lyrics, I'll probably join in.

Re: EEEEFML: A visual presentation (vol.2)

Matt_J — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:10:43 -0000

"As long as I have the ability to drop my pants, I win!"

Um...*shifty-eyed*...I'm gay and annoying. Yeah, yeah. *shifty-eyed*

Re: Just trying to be helpful

Matt_J — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 13:44:35 -0000

There's apparently a site where you are challenged to do stupid shit and film it for others to watch.

Eating a spoonful of pure cinnamon is one of those challenges.

Re: Scarred for life

Matt_J — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 16:23:21 -0000

I'm not sure how young I was. Definitely on the cusp of puberty.

My parents were definitely unamused. My mother, as she was wont to do in situations like this, screamed "Oh, the hormones are racing!" And then punished me with like, a week without video games or something.

Re: Scarred for life

Matt_J — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 12:12:48 -0000

I've never been a big horror movie fan, but I would rent a bunch of them with my friends in college, the more "B", the better. The original Poor White Trash was fantastically awesomely bad. There was even a Poor White Trash 2. Bitchin'.

I got in trouble while watching Arachnophobia because my best friend was over, and he had seen it to, and right before the shower scene, he looked over and whispered "this is the best scene where you see nothing and everything ever filmed". I wasn't sure what he was talking about and then the spider fell between the girl's boobs and I was like "Oh yeah!" and my parents were not amused.

Re: EFFF My life- A visual presentation.

Matt_J — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 20:27:46 -0000

Being that most fairies, from the rumors I've heard, are only about as tall as my penis, I tend to not get too excited about them. Unless I'm at a Tori Amos concert, but then most women assume that, if I'm at a Tori Amos concert, I'm gay, so the point is moot.

http://matthewjenks.blogspot.com

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Re: EFFF My life- A visual presentation.

Matt_J — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 10:47:48 -0000

Are those pictures of naked fairies?

Dashboard Jesus rules.

Re: TMI Thursday: The itch that cannot be scratched

Matt_J — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 10:10:13 -0000

I would caution against the hydrogen peroxide up there method. I can only imagine the fire of a thousand burning suns feeling that would induce.

If you do go the H2O2 route, be sure to use the dilute stuff (3%) because the 30% solution is explosive.

Re: Port-a-potties? No maam.com

Matt_J — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:34:05 -0000

Interestingly enough, we once got stuck in bad traffic and had to duck off at the only exit that had a filling station with a bathroom. My wife and daughter went in and found a huge line. When they finally got into the bathroom, six inches of standing, brown water was on the floor. My daughters sandals are, in theory, still sitting in that bathroom.

So...there's really no moral to the story, other than that I'm very willing to find a better toilet for the ladies to use.

http://matthewjenks.blogspot.com

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Re: Port-a-potties? No maam.com

Matt_J — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 14:51:22 -0000

I guess I never really gave this much thought. You know, to be honest, I don't sit around pondering port-o-potties much (these days), but I never really appreciated how terribly disgusting it is to be a woman and having to use the port-o-head. You've brought me a new respect for all things feminine.

Re: f.Y.l. Friday!

Matt_J — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 10:59:17 -0000

If you think YOU'RE a loser...I've never been outside of the country. Well, except for a couple of trips through Ohio. I knew an old priest who claimed that parts of Ohio weren't even parts of America. Somehow, despite his godly wisdom, I doubt that counts.

Also...I think you've *ahem* grown past calling them "boobies", but hey, to each her own, says I.

Congrats on the black dress. You look faboo.

Re: TMI Thursday: The Legend of the Log (In Rhyme)

Matt_J — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 10:01:06 -0000

That's not a poem. That's an epic any bard would be proud to sing for a meal or a few pieces of silver. Beowulf, you have met your match.

Re: The Dagger previews IU, pulls Knight gem from the vault

Matt_J — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 16:45:02 -0000

That sounded like Jay Bilas asking the second question. That couldn't be, right? Maybe I've just been watching too much of the World Wide Leader these past few years.

Re: The Case of the Missing Laptop

Matt_J — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 11:25:16 -0000

You didn't go through some temporal vortex on your trip, did you? Could have sucked the laptop into an alternative dimension?

Or maybe, somehow, a rip in space/time occurred and the anti-laptop fell out of it, colliding with your work piece, and POOF everything was gone.

Re: 27, Shouldn’t I be a pro at this by now?

Matt_J — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 13:25:54 -0000

You can go to Lowes or, I recommend, Home Depot and get different dangly bits to hang off the light so that you can tell which turns on the light, which turns on the fan, if you want. Might help.

also, I have the same issues with the straw. Except, because I'm so full of smoothness and tact, I'll try to wrestle the straw into my mouth with my tongue. So, there I'll be, in the midst of conversation or...well...anything...with my tongue reaching out, groping toward the straw like some sort of pink, distended tentacle seeking to snatch away some morsel of something. Even in my mind I find this image terribly disturbing, but yet, I still do it. What? Do I think I'll be less a man if I use my hands? I'm not sure, but at the same time, I'm not trying to rectify the situation at all.

Re: TMI Thursday: A Fairy Tail ending

Matt_J — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 14:22:30 -0000

How is it that I'm just NOW finding this blog? Damn you internet, damn you for keeping me ignorant. Moreso than normal.

As for this...Cari...story. It's kind of like the Princess and the Pea. You could call it "Princess and the Pea...nis." All of the Fairy Tale, none of the moral.

Re: tmi thursday: unexpected delivery.

Matt_J — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 16:12:20 -0000

I used to work in an assisted living facility. It had an Alzheimer's wing where the doors were locked so that the patients didn't escape. The nurse who worked back there was Joyce, and she was awesome.

One day, I was carting the meals down there and this old feller, named Norman, was at the door looking out. Norman always liked to hang by the door. I think he was a security guard in his earlier days or something.

As I approached, Norman yelled out "He's here!" Which was good, because usually Joyce had to let me in.

Then I heard Joyce's voice scream "Norman! Put some pants on!"

I loved the summer I worked there...

Re: Bawa Muniru: One handsome man (part two)

Matt_J — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 09:48:21 -0000

That tie needs more Cream and less yellow.