You're exactly right. I also like facebook, but they are shooting themselves in the foot, and will damage themeselves permanently if they don't get going with some real rethinking and clear and *accurate* and non-condescending communication.
I am delighted to hear that the major brands are staying away for now. That is the goal of the facebook group just started up called I Won't Shop At Sites that Have Facebook Beacon, at http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=6285479023
We don't want the retail sites we shop at to send all our Personally Identifiable Information (PII) anywhere - facebook or otherwise. Everyone needs to wise up to that simple fact.