DISQUS

You're absolutely right about not knowing your risk tolerance. I've always answered that I was highly risk-tolerant, because a) I "know" that stocks go up and down but mostly up over long long periods of time, and b) I was talking about retirement savings, which I won't "need" for several decades. But I had a real life scenario that brought it home for me recently. I work on Wall Street - still. I watched a certain Wall Street's stock fall precipitously, from a 52 week high in the $60s, to around $7. I knew (as did anyone who read a major newspaper) that a deal was set to go through the following week that should keep the firm safe. So my husband and I discussed buying $1000 worth of stock. The upside: it was fairly probable that the stock would rebound the following week. The downside: the firm could have failed, and I'd be a lot more occupied with finding a new job than with the loss of 1k. So what happened? I chickened out. The stock is now hovering around $20 (I could have tripled my money in a couple of weeks). And I still have a job. Now, considering your larger theme... is that a good thing?

Soul Mates
Honoring the Mysteries of Love and Relationship
by Thomas Moore
© 1994, HarperCollins Publishers, New York, NY

I love the idea of accentuating what you love instead of "hiding" what you don't love.

Thank you - sound advice, indeed. Gretchen's absolutely right about books taking FOREVER. My book goes to design at the end of October. I first pitched it in 2003, signed the contract in 2006, and I'm still putting the finishing touches on it. In other words, my son who just turned 1 wasn't even conceived when I signed the contract. My son who will turn 4 in January wasn't conceived when I pitched the book.

Ooh, oh, the whole approachable thing! I realized a few years ago that I was wearing all dark colors and conservative shapes in an effort to seem serious and professional. It was almost like armor. It had nothing to do with my authentic self.

Today, I need knitters to help me knit leaves. Click my name for details.
In the longer run, I need to honor my creativity. First step: accept "Creative" as my foundation word, even though it's a little scary.

Eureka! I am an artist who writes technical documentation. And I'm really good at it. And... it's time to let my artist self shine, too. But... I don't have to quit my job to do it. This is sooo helpful.
And once again I'm re-jiggering my Style Statement. I'll get there - I'll get there....

So I'm not the only one!

naked & happy

I put up some pics on my blog for you. Click my name.

I was about to write about the wishlist items I'd check off (re-upholstering my grandmother's chair, an Aeron chair for my home office, a Style Statement session...) when I realized that this is about what we got back on taxes this year. And where did it go? Straight into a savings account for down-payment on our next house. So there ya go.

Joy is big. I insisted on having the word "Joy" in my wedding invitations - they read "We invite you to share in our joy and celebrate our wedding." Joy to me is red socks and bubbles in hand-blown glass. Classic is just the right foundation some days, and feels fusty to me some days. Classic could be old LL Bean canvas totes on a weathered dock, or it could be red lipstick and a pencil skirt on Parisian cobblestones. Classic is the way a white shirt and a string of pearls can be outrageously sexy. Is it a firm foundation that can turn into a stick-in-the-mud? Well, maybe that's me, too. I guess I'm talking myself into classic! Thanks for your comments - got me going on a nice riff!

Elegant, essential, creative, beautiful... I'm still playing with the words, I guess. I'll let you know when I figure it out. Meanwhile, I want to thank you for encouraging me to see my "quirks" as something to celebrate, rather than something to be groomed and tidied and transformed.

I have a "positive feedback" folder in my email system at work. Whenever anyone says something nice about my work, I file it in there for a rainy day. I also forward it to my boss!!

Such wonderful stories!! I'm with Danielle in that my wedding was A-mazing!

Actually, I've been thinking a lot about my wedding in the past couple of days, as I've been trying to delve into the details to find my first word, which I'm still struggling with. We were married under a beautiful old twisty tree in Central Park (NYC), by a female Episcopal priest. I made my wedding dress based on a vintage Vogue pattern from the 50s, and knitted a wine chenille shrug to go over top. We recessed to a solo trumpet, and led everyone back to the party in a gorgeous old townhouse on 69th. The buffet was half Thai, half Canadian Thanksgiving, and the wine was from the French Embassy (yum!) My "wedding team" and I had made almost everything, from the flower arrangements to the tablecloths to the favors. People mingled. People danced. I had welcomed the trickster god in advance, so I was able to relax and enjoy it all. It really felt like "us" - and I really felt "married" when it was over.

So, C+D community - does that sound like "Classic Joy"? Unfortunately, while the words are supposed to sing, I keep saying in my head "CLASSIC (but not conservative) JOY!!"

I love the title! CRASH BLOOM. Love it.

I have to wonder if any of those women were mothers. Having little beings dependent completely on you can make you change your tolerance for risk. On the other hand, nothing says "life is real and life is earnest, so get on with it!" like looking into a little one's eyes and trying to figure out what you want to teach that wee person. How do you take a risk and fly while providing a safe nest?

Anything beige.

Oh, and another thing: bergamot (what makes Earl Grey Earl Grey) is a love/hate thing. I can’t stand it, but Karryn obviously loves it. If you don’t care for Earl Grey, try English Breakfast or Darjeeling – two of my favorites! But my favorite favorite of all is Pickwick Mango tea from Holland. How can you not love a tea that lists “mangosmaak” in the ingredients?!

P.S. When you try to reply to the first comment, the space for typing gets all mixed in with Carrie & Danielle's Well Loved Things and Ideas, and you can't see the submit button. You may want to take a look at your page structure.

I am absolutely a tea snob!! I come by it honestly, though - my grandmother used to drive from Toronto to Florida every year, trying to teach every waitress in every greasy spoon along the way how to brew a "proper" pot of tea. The secret, if you're using black tea, is to make everything as hot as possible. You rinse out the teapot with boiling water first, so that the cool teapot doesn't cool down the water too fast. Then add the tea, and then boiling (BOILING) water. Not warm water from the coffee machine - that will make your tea, no matter how fancy, taste like damp cardboard. Boiling water.
The best pot of tea I ever had was in a cafeteria in Galway. Instead of boiling water, they used pressurized steam. (And yes, they rinsed the teapot with steam, dumped the drips, added loose tea, and then filled it with steam.) More flavor in that pot of tea than in all the warm-water-from-the-coffee-machine tea I drank in college.

I've had that chair on my wishlist for a couple of years. Time to start a specific fund, I think!
Last year, for Christmas, I asked for a huge flat-screen computer monitor. A bit of a "vacuum cleaner present" as we say in my family, but it is the thing I look at for hours every day, and it really makes a difference.
Slowly, I'm learning to invest in the things I use every day - a great purse, the perfect coffee mug - and pay less attention to "special" "dress-up" stuff. In fact, I'm now much more likely to wear a thrift shop purchase for dress-up (sequin pants from Housing Works, hello!) and spend my money on a casual dress that makes me feel great!

That would be the part of me that spoke up, no matter what class I was in, no matter who I was with. I've let myself get intimidated by certain people in my life, so that I'm just as likely to sit quietly with a polite grin on my face... Let's name her Amherst. C'mere girl!!

On a related note, there's a meditation that I love, where you release any energy that you've been given that you don't want, and then call back all your scattered energy, cleanse it, and wrap yourself in a protective something (I always picture a Star Trek "force field.") It always feels wonderful!!

I believe that the first step is loving yourself... then you get to see that you are lovable! Then it's easier to believe that someone else could love you, too.

I'd toss 80% of my stuff (90%?) and move my family overseas... Stop working for "the man" and start working for myself... Release all the "shoulds"...

My signature gift: Tiffany crystal candlesticks, in a big blue box. (Hmmmm - my style statement wouldn't be Classic Joy would it??)

The best gifts we received were help - not just financial - with the wedding. My maid of honor, an amazing costume designer, helped me make my wedding dress. One friend who was broke volunteered to run around the city with his van picking stuff up the morning of.

And I have to share my brilliant (if I do say so myself) rehearsal luncheon favors - I made each person a t-shirt with their name on the front, and their role in the wedding and relationship to us on the back (thank you, inkjet iron-on transfer paper!). Everyone put them on, then milled about reading each others - the two families actually mingled!!