DISQUS

I don't get Wilkinson's reaction myself. I read the piece closely, awaiting the moment when Douthat declared pornography to be the equivalent of adultery. The closest I found was that in a survey, a third of the women said characterized it as a "form of betrayal or infidelity". Most of what follows, as I read it, is an attempt to understand how porn then fits into the framework of marriage (or monogamous relationships more generally), often told through the lens of others who are comfortable with the notion that porn does have a role.

My sense is that while Douthat is not cheer-leading for porn, he is trying to understand the arguments of those who are more accepting of it than he, tacitly, seems to be (I think those who have read Douthat previously are projecting their own ideas of who he is and what he stands for - i.e., the Church Lady - rather than reading the article as it is written).

After considering a variety of things that have made porn less objectionable, he returns to porn as a component of a monogamous relationship, in the sense that it is becoming perceived as a "normal outlet from the rigors of monogamy". He even qualifies it by calling it "a *form* of adultery", which I interpret to mean that it's not really adultery, but a simulacrum of it that he is uncomfortable endorsing, even having laid out some arguments as to why it's superior to *real* adultery.

As Kristo said, it's fine to disagree with his moral position, but to claim to be mystified, it seems to me, is a kind of shorthand that says "I don't agree with this guy, who is so clueless I don't even have to waste my breath engaging his argument". I for one thought that it was an interesting article, and I am not sure where exactly I come down on its central thesis. Like Douthat, I have a hard time accepting, without qualification, the notion that it is a "normal" outlet for frustrated monogamists such as myself. But having read it, and by virtue of his having given a fair hearing to those with fewer reservations about porn in general and in the context of a monogamous relationship, it has caused me to think about the issue.

PS: When I read Wilkinson's entry, I was reminded of a witticism that I think belongs to PJ O'Rourke: If meat is murder, are eggs rape? Asking if porn is adultery (or cigarettes suicide, etc), it seems to me, fits the same framework.