DISQUS

I have bi-polar disorder, and between the ages of 24 and 31, I experienced at least five psychotic breaks during manic episodes. With the help of a supportive boyfriend, during my last hypo-manic episode, I was able to seek help and am now symptom free because of medication. I was not a danger to anyone but myself during my psychotic episodes. I'm posting here because I want as many people as possible to understand how real delusional thoughts feel to someone suffering from psychosis.

I am quite intelligent, as I am writing a dissertation right now. But while psychotic, I have been convinced that other people were sending messages to me telepathically and that they could also read my mind. I have sincerely believed that if I read the correct sequence of passages in the many books I own, I would suddenly be endowed with supernatural powers and would become all-knowing. I once tried to kill myself while psychotic. My friends did not really know how to help me, and I once saw a therapist for several months while cycling between mania and depression. I was not correctly diagnosed at that time. I am lucky that I eventually got the treatment I needed and that my insurance covers my medication, which costs $170 a month.

I just want people to understand that if a person is psychotic, he or she experiences the world his or her mind creates as just as real as anyone else's reality. We need to keep discussing how we can help people get the treatment they need, remove the stigma surrounding mental illness, and make treatment affordable for everyone.

Thanks for your original post, karoli, and best of luck with your ADHD.