Disqus - Latest Comments for Skinny Black Girl

Re: Random Saturday Rant: Read a Book

Skinny Black Girl — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 09:26:26 -0000

Ok, now I will readily admit, that I do read Zane. But I would say that I read it for the same reason that some watch porn. Porn on film doesn't do it for me. But written porn where my imagination can take hold? That, I can rock with.

Personally, I read a vast array of books, from black fiction to white chick lit to black nonfiction, biographies, memoirs (my favorite), etc.

What bothers me is the horrible representation of black literature in book stores. If it's not poorly written erotica, it's poorly written "urban fiction" (also known as hood tales), or poorly written "Christian fiction" (which, I'm sorry but is the same strategy employed by bad singers on the Apollo. Make it about Jesus and it's above criticism? Not so much. Still sucks to me.)

Re: Now It’s Cool To Be An Independent Black Woman?

Skinny Black Girl — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 19:44:49 -0000

Notice the men singing these lyrics are men with money... Who want to keep their money... Their attraction to the Independent Chick is a no-brainer.

You'll still hear insecure men saying that same ol' thing. But a man who's a go-getter? He wants an asset. Not a liability. I'm just glad this ideology has trickled down to hip-hop/R&B.

Re: Stand By Your Man: Get Like Kim Porter

Skinny Black Girl — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 12:40:26 -0000

I think that we really need to stop scrutinizing others' relationships situations, especially when we're on the outside looking in.

The fact of the matter is that all relationships are not going to be the same. Not everyone feels a pressing need to get married, or even attach an official title to their relationship. Whatever reasons Kim decided to stay with Diddy for as long as she did, they are just that. HER REASONS. It's okay to say that you as an individual would not have done the same, but I feel as though it is unfair to hold other people's situations and love lives to our own personal standards.

To me, the problem with "black love" is that there seems to be one universally accepted standard for what is right. And anything other than that is viewed as wrong. Prime example, everyone worshipped Will and Jada's relationship, until it came out that they might have an open marriage. So what if they do? It seems to work well for their family so who are we to judge?

We really need to step outside of the box and examine OUR OWN lives and see what relationships WORK BEST FOR US. Instead we accept the advice of Essence/Oprah/or the popular Televangelist as Gospel about what we "should be" doing.

I think our love lives will improve greatly when we decide to think and choose for ourselves and stop holding other people's relationships to our own personal standards. Just because celebrities' lives are played out in the media, that doesn't make their relationships any more of our business than the couple who lives next door.

Re: Stand By Your Man: Get Like Kim Porter

Skinny Black Girl — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 14:26:53 -0000

I guess my viewpoint is just different. Because I believe that the standards for what a relationship is/is not should be left to the discretion of the people within the relationship. In my opinion, since black folks are so culturally tied to Western and Judeo-Christian values, it is difficult to accept that perhaps other systems work for other people.

For me, it has nothing to do with how attractive people may or not be. It's about DEFINING LIFE ON YOUR OWN TERMS AND FIGURING OUT WORKS FOR YOU. It's not about holding up your situation to someone else's standards. But again, I guess I just think differently.

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Skinny Black Girl — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:52:13 -0000

Seriously, I think that a lot of guys get "bad boy" and "thug" confused. A bad boy can have a suit and the 9-5, but that don't mean he won't lay hands on a nig if need be. I doubt very seriously that many adult professional women are really checkin for the Young Jeezy lookin dudes. If so, there wouldn't be so many of them screaming about not being able to get a man. There is no shortage of thugs in the world.

For me, it's a confidence factor. It just so happens that a lot of so-called "bad boys" have confidence, but so do a lot of nice guys. But don't approach me acting all intimidated or too eager. That just reads "corny" to me.

Re: Love is A Muthaf****r

Skinny Black Girl — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 10:57:09 -0000

As a person who has dealt with clinical depression (as well as a writer), I'd like to add my perspective.

Above all else, Kanye is an artist. And artists are not capable of separating their emotions from their work. It's impossible. I went through a suicide attempt and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't NOT write about it. When your soul drives your work, it won't be kept in, no matter what you do. So I understand why Kanye needed to make this album. I also know from my own experience how letting out that pain can liberate you.

It's not a question of if love can make you this depressed. LOSS can. Whether it's the loss of a relationship, a loved one, or even a loss of self. That can be extremely painful. And while I'm not a fan of the auto-tune phenomenon, I'm willing to give Kanye his space to just BE for awhile, because trust me when I say, that's what he needs. He may do or say some things that strike us as strange, but his healing is his process.

And yes, I think he can say that he's a "voice of his generation" because right now, he's speaking TO a lot of people who are going through something similar. When I blogged about my depression, I got so much feedback from people thanking me for sharing my journey, because it helped them in some way.

Anywhoo, that's my spiel. I think Kanye is going to be fine. He's just got to go through it for awhile.