DISQUS

Interesting article. I've been getting the 2 a.m. e-mails from a couple of married men, as well.

One is an ex boyfriend, the other a boyfriend wanna-be. While I'll admit it's flattering on one level, it's also extremely creepy and kind of pisses me off. The married ex tells me that he's happily married, so WTF...why is he e-mailing me and telling me he still wonders, "what if"? Is he just keeping me on the back burner, just in case things don't work out in his current marriage? I mean, give me a break!

As for the wanna-be...it feels like the same thing. Get your affairs (literally) in order before you invite me into your life. You either want to be with your wife or you don't. Figure it out, handle it properly and honorably, and then we'll talk. And, that's not a guarantee that I'll take you up on your offer either, buddy.

*sigh*

I don't weigh myself. Once I got rid of my weigh scale and the fixation on a number as the definition of who I am or what my value is as a person, I was also able to develop a better self image. And, oddly enough, my weight stabilized.

One's weight is not an adequate indicator of one's fitness level, in my opinion, for all of the reasons cited above. In addition, muscle weighs more than fat, so if I'm exercising and building muscle tone, my weight may actually increase. If I don't understand this concept, then that's going to be horribly discouraging.

I traded in my weigh scale for a measuring tape. It's a much more effective method of tracking my physical state, at any given time.

Hmmmm...perhaps this is why I seem drawn, often against my better judgement, to long distance romances. While riddled with the pain of separation, they also allow for plenty of soulful romancing, often in the form of the written word.

The scenario obviously meets a need for me in some fashion.

I have fallen asleep imaging Jesus has his arms wrapped around me and is spooning me. :o)) Talk about relaxing and feeling safe & protected.

I will usually stop my mind from spiraling downward by focusing on all the good that's in my life. Realigning my energy to remind myself of all that I am grateful for, in spite of how bad things may look, is a powerful tool.

I will also remind myself that no matter what happens, I know I will be able to handle it and that I will be okay.

Beauty is so subjective. After years of viewing my body critically, I finally had an epiphany that has changed my outlook and led me to a much more healthy, confident, and yes, beautiful view of myself. Oddly enough, the moment occurred during the break-up of my marriage precipitated by my husband's affair.

I simply acknowledged that there would always be someone prettier than me, wealthier than me, thinner than me, etc., etc. I could choose to continue to make myself unhappy by comparing myself to others, or I could embrace myself, AS IS. I've chosen to the the latter and am much happier as a result.

Thank you for this affirmative article.

I also have a Cinderella colouring book and some Crayola crayons tucked away in a drawer. When I'm feeling particularly overwhelmed and need to self-soothe, I will pull it out and colour. It works to slow things down for me and I find it very calming.

The Velveteen Rabbit is one of my favourites.

I would like to be a Master of Self.

I like this and I'm going to use it.

Or should I say, She likes this and She's going to use it. ;o)

I've done the New Year's cards for a few years now. It not only relieves some of the enormous pressure I seem to put on myself at this time of year, it's also a nice surprise in the recipient's mailbox after all the hustle & bustle has died down. I also take the time to hand write something in each card that recaps the year that was and makes mention of a few plans I'm looking forward to.

I would hold me close in a warm hug and say:

"You have a beautiful life awaiting you that will occasionally be peppered with heartache, struggle, and confusion. Embrace it all, but don't hold onto it. No matter what, you will be okay. You are powerful beyond measure and I love you."

I've struggled with prioritizing this (should that really read "Me"...?) for years.

I like the idea of thinking of my savings account as a monthly expense that gets paid, no matter what. That suggestion might just work for me.

Your daughter sounds very special indeed.

Wow....I'm not even sure where to begin.....this brought up a lot of stuff for me.

I'm viewing this incident from your daughter's perspective and having flashbacks to moments in my home environment when my joy provoked chastisement. It taught me to proceed with caution at all times, moderate and stuff my emotions, and set me on the road to becoming a Patty Perfect who strived to do no wrong.

I'm pleased to say that at the age of 47, I've exorcised a lot of that crap and live my life with joy, passion, and authenticity. It was a long a road to here, though.

While I understand how indignant you felt, I do wonder why you felt compelled at the end of the evening to place your daughter in a position where she was the one being asked to deal with the perpetrator.

This was hilarious in a sad, "I've been there" kind of way. Thank you for sharing and good for you for doing the hard work.

Well....I have to admit, one of the gifts I'm most excited about giving this year is a copy of Style Statement to my niece who is in her early 20's. I'm also going to print and frame some of my own photographs and give those as gifts to friends & family. They're not too shabby, if I do say so myself.

Isn't that an amazing collection?!? It's remarkable the lengths to which the cinematographers will go to get a shot.

My girlfriend, who was an aspiring actress, recited the Jabberwocky to me and I was completely taken with it! I have since developed quite an appreciation for C.S. Lewis.

Another of my favourites, with a completely different flavour is Robert Frost's Stopping at a Wood on a Snowy Evening. I once heard it sung by a men's choir - absolutely beautiful.

Oh, I like that!

Wow...look at all those typos....s/b Schnarch and Marriage. Pre-coffee post, what can I say? :o)

The concept of being in your own boat is used by David Schynarch, Ph.D in his book Passionate Marraige, as well. I think it's brilliant and very empowering, while also holding others capable, as Pearl has said.

Love the photo!

Just moments ago, I took a stand and acknowledged my worth in a budding relationship. It's been a long road to here and I'm proud of myself.

Chaos in all its manifest forms, cold, animal cruelty, touch, compassion, generosity, beauty.

This is a powerful truth. Thank you for articulating it so clearly and beautifully.

This was very provocative and touched on a few personal nerves. I'm heading off on vacation tomorrow and one of the things I'm planning to do is some work like this to figure out what it is I REALLY want, in all areas of my life, and then establish some steps to move me forward toward the fulfillment of these dreams.

Thanks for further validating my intentions and congratulations on realizing your dreams!