DISQUS

When I was engaged, it seemed crazy that I wouldn't adopt my husband's name. I am a very traditional person about some things, and that was one of them. That, however, was before I found out he was cheating on me. It was also before my Mama died, and I became the last of my clan.

My last boyfriend and I talked about marriage a few times, and I guess my ability to be the "good, little wifey" sort of went out the window. It's important to me now to be the last of my kind. It's important to me to have that name. I can't imagine being anyone else. I never really liked his name anyway, and the fact that we aren't together anymore could have been a reason why I was so hesitant about it.

Glad things went well. Take care.

I have some photos to upload, but haven't found time between looking for an apartment, anticipating the move, and being sick as a dog. I think we can make it whatever we want it to be, and it'll still be good.

I used to recruit, and my favorite question was: "What do you need--be it from a job or an employer?" It was always funny to gauge reactions because so few people actually think about it beyond the money stuff. A lot of people couldn't even answer. If you don't know and haven't thought about it, chances are you'll get dissatisfied with any new job eventually.

I'm lucky because my current job meets your requirements. I tend to dress up every day still...hard habit to break. I like the freedom to go beyond my written job description. What I think is key, though, is that my employers respect me...something that took me a long time to find.

I remember feeling so bad for Dick Clark last year. There's something courageous about him still appearing, but it's also uncomfortable for everyone, too. But maybe that's good.

I can relate to a lot of what you write here. Here's my story... My dad was an alcoholic who died when I was six. I basically stopped feeling after that and totally became a people pleasing perfectionist. I had no opinions of my own, and I was so focused on everything outside myself that I didn't even know who I was. I had friends, but mostly they were just acquaintances. I never let anyone get to know me. I basically planned to take care of my Mama for the rest of my life. I expected to be alone forever--hell, I wanted to be alone. It was like that for a really long time. I know that I've been depressed off and on throughout the years, but I was never really in touch with it...if that makes sense. For me, writing was the way out. Little by little, I started breaking out of it. College did a lot for me in terms of helping me get in touch with who I am and what I want out of life. When I finally did start putting myself out there, it was like I had no boundaries. I can count the number of people I've dated on one hand--literally--and most of those ended up being long-term, extremely damaging relationships.

I came to a point where I realized that I was just messed up. I started recognizing patterns in my life. I reached out in the ways that I could, to people who would understand. Therapy didn't really work for me because it's still terribly difficult for me to open up to people--especially those I don't know well. So, I did a lot of self-work--took a long time to examine myself and exercise vulnerability. It was actually really grueling to face myself.

It's been a handful of years since I started that tough evaluation and process of changing myself. Two or so years ago, I met a great guy who lived in California. Neither of us were really interested in relationships. We both had other priorities. During the course of our friendship, it just sort of snuck up on us. For the first time in my life, I'm really happy with my love life. I still look forward to talking to him every day, and we've weathered a lot of big change recently. I never thought I, of all people, would ever be able to have a healthy relationship--but I do now.

So, if there's hope for me, there's definitely hope for you.

I agree with Li--social networks will be where we need/want them to be. But will we need/want them? I think that depends.

I think for some, your toliet analogy will apply. However, your analogy is sorta geared toward a specific population. Namely, those who have access to technology on a regular enough basis to find such things essential.

We still live in a world where there's a technological divide. There's a very real chasm between the haves and the have nots. There are still kids in our country who can't even read. Many school districts don't have quality computers. We are failing our kids in every possible way. If things change in this arena, then sure...this could happen. Will it? I don't know.

I think technology is indeed necessary in our "modern" day and age. However, we can't forget that there is an entire population of people who don't have access to it--and haven't incorporated it into their lives. They are left behind--to some degree. But some would argue otherwise. We lived for many years without it, certainly. It makes things easier--but is it really essential for our survival? Of course, we could say the same about toliets.

Maybe, then, the difference here is in how much of an impact technology has on someone's day to day life. Modern essentials like toliets blend seamlessly into our lives. Few people have strong opinions about them (they might have thoughts about the use of such things, but usually not the thing itself...it's a great invention).

Social technology is much more invasive and dividing, I think. There is such a thing as information overload/fatigue. It may be possible to be constantly connected, but do we really want that? If we did, vacations wouldn't be so popular.

Personally, I think there will be more of a push to equal the playing field. We'll have higher standards for the things that are available and how we use those things.