DISQUS

i suggest situations are rarely, if ever, "black and white." we all live in an inter-relational world. ideally if a person in in a failed relationship, or a troubled one, it is likely best it is resolved independently, one way or the other before beginning another relationship.

finances, children, family, guilt, other people and feelings for them etc etc are going to modify that ideal, of course, but it is to the individual to make the call on what they do with that complex environment. staying in an unhappy relationship/marriage because of a system of morals in and of itself is not ideal. begining an affair also is not ideal. therefore, in the middle lies what one can choose to do, each solution baring its pros and cons.

sitting on the outside passing judgment is not terribly useful. pity for a person in that situation is obvious, but anger and/or judgment seems to produce, well, itself. anger and judgment.

are their largely selfish people that step out on a perfectly functioning marriage/relationship? i suppose, quite possibly, but i would guess nor very probable. effects usually have causes. is it the most productive solution to a failing partnership? surely not, but i don't think it's one the casual observer can make a blanket statement condemning.

meh. people can do what they like, make their choices, possibly mistakes.
it is, of course, their call to make.

in my observations, many times people that are having an affair know they are, of course, going to get caught, or at least the odds are in that favor, and they do it anyway. too afraid of confrontation, so they'd rather let it blow up in their face, or more likely, it's a strictly emotional decision, and logic plays little to no role. perhaps their marriages were the mistake, and the affair is a vehicle to start correcting that mistake.

'You may think it brings you life. You may think the other person “gets you,” but they don’t. They’re selfish. And so are you. You’ll destroy your life.'

that's a fairly bold statement, not knowing these people at all. i'd suggest you quit projection your particular brand of morality onto strangers, and not worry about them.




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