Disqus - Latest Comments for Hayden Tompkins

Re: 11 Steps to Becoming Addicted to Running

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 12:03:40 -0000

I had an ex-boyfriend who would constantly try to get me to run.

I absolute hate it when runners bug me to run. I don't want to run. Running is not for everyone. I am THRILLED that runners get a kick out of running. But running is not 'awesome' for a girl with a 38F rack.

I am not trying to crack on this article, I just want to get it out there that it is OK not to be a runner.

Re: The Warrior’s Guide to True Manliness

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 13:06:10 -0000

Using death as your guide reminds me of the commencement speech that Steve Jobs gave -

He said that when he wakes up in the morning he asks himself that if he were going to die that day, would he still do what he is about to do?

If the answer is 'no' for too many days in a row, then something needs to change.

Re: 14 Ways To Affair Proof Your Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 11:13:43 -0000

I would add, keep your closest friendships SAME SEX. Friendships by design mean that you are intimate in what you share with someone. Women demand emotional intimacy from all their friends, men and women both.

Start on a friendship with someone of the opposite sex and you are opening the door, especially when your marriage starts to have problems.

Re: It’s Time For a “Menaissance”

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:23:27 -0000

As a woman who was an older child in an abusive home, I had to take care of myself, my younger brother, and my father. I spent my childhood trying to keep my father from beating us and I went into a foster home because he tried to kill me.

My father mooched first off my grandparents, then off my mother while she worked two jobs so he could be a musician. Then he mooched off my grandmother again, me, me and my brother, my brother, and finally he is now living with my 85 year-old grandmother.

My brother and I went through the same set of circumstances, yet I ended up being 'stronger' than he was. I definitely think that 'manliness' needs to make a comeback, but not as an either-or scenario.

Asking if you're "forced to live by women's rules" or whether you'd rather the breadwinner perpetuates the either-or scenario.

'Women's rules' tend to be aimed a house 'stuff''. Don't leave socks on the floor. Help with the dishes. Take care of the lawn. ETC. Women manage the households and, even in the days when men were the breadwinners, tended to manage the households.

Now that we are in an 'enlightened pro-women' age, women STILL do 65% or more of the regular housework. SO they have taking on working AND maintaining a household and often taking care of the kids.

Men, part of being manly, is STEPPING THE HELL UP. You know what needs to be done around the house. DO IT. Don't keep putting it off, while calling your wife and nag, and complain how you are forced to live by women's rules.

For my part, I am a very strong woman and I know this. I know that, if I wanted to, I could run roughshod all over my husband. BUT I DON'T. Sometimes I step back and he has to make a decision and I will SHUT UP while he does it. What works the most effectively is a division of labor - I manage household expenses while he manages our investments. I clean the house but he does the dishes and trash everyday. And we maintain FLEXIBILITY.

And I, and many women I know, are sick and tired of men who can't take care of themselves, don't have a clue, and are leeches on the women in their lives.

THE FIRST STEP TO A MENAISSANCE IS TO BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

1. Pay your own bills.
2. Clean up after yourself.
3. Do what you say you will do and don't make commitments lightly.
4. Speak up!

Re: The Manival #1

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 09:55:16 -0000

Here is the link to Dear Husbands of America: http://persistentillusion.wordpress.com/2008/04...

And, wow, TAOM - you have posted some amazing articles.

Re: The Virtuous Life: Cleanliness

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 05 May 2008 10:51:18 -0000

It's amazing people still managed to reproduce.

"The theory was advanced that bathing opened your pores and thus let in disease. A layer of dirt and odor was thought to stave off infection. "

:shudder:

Re: How Do You Know When She’s the One?

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 12 May 2008 12:31:37 -0000

When I met my husband (10 years my senior) he absolutely did not believe in marriage. It was so well known that his girlfriend gave him a birthday cake with a groom-running-from-a-bride topper.

When I asked him about it later, he said that he absolutely couldn't imagine his life without me, and that I brought out the man he always felt he could be.

Above all, he knew he had my absolute loyalty. I had warned him ahead of time that I wasn't into 'starter marriages' or 'test marriages'. That the only way he was getting out of our marriage was when you could pry my cold-dead hand off of it.

Apparently, he found that ROMANTIC. Who knew.

Re: 100 Must-Read Books: The Essential Man’s Library

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 14 May 2008 12:45:30 -0000

Wow, you took like every book I hate and put it in a list. Catch-22, Catcher In The Rye, The Grapes of Wrath, The Great Gatsby...that's hilarious.

Re: Quit Coddling Your Kids

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 10:36:40 -0000

You know what I have noticed? Less and less children get broken bones. Not that I am saying that broken bones are 'good', but it's just a sign that a child is playing, exploring, and testing their limits. Getting a cast used to be a badge of honor, the playground 'war injury'. Now I meet people that have never broken any bones...ever.

Great article!

Re: When Is It Okay for a Man to Cry?

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:09:40 -0000

My ex-boyfriend, who was always very easy going and never got worked up over anything, cried when I tried to break up with him. I say 'tried' because I just couldn't when I saw the depth of his emotion.

It stopped me from making a huge mistake, because we were together for another two years. Dating him made me a better woman and ultimately a better wife.

That was the only time I've ever known him to cry, and we are still very good friends. Granted, that's a situation that depends on the couple involved, but his tears completely unmade me.

Re: Art of Manliness and Digg.com

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 02:22:17 -0000

Punks.

Re: The 15 Greatest Man Cries (Plus 5 Dishonorable Mentions)

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 12:54:39 -0000

I can't believe I missed the John Stewart post-9/11 show. Thank you for posting it...it was pretty incredible about what this country means.

Re: 10 Outdated Men’s Fashions That Still Have The Charm

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 09:51:33 -0000

Ok, you have me completely conflicted. On the one hand I want to keep my husband FAR FAR AWAY from this article and its promotion of the LONGJOHN, horned rimmed glasses, and WOOL KNICKERS. (!!!)

On the other hand, I adore tie bars, argyle, and especially pocket watches.

Let's call it a draw and I will give him the verbal recap of this article, suitably edited, of course. ;)

Re: 5 Personal Finance Discussions To Have Before Getting Hitched

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 11:09:44 -0000

FYI, there are two types of finances to manage - household and investment.

I manage the household finances (budgeting, money allocation, food purchases, etc.), though he pays our joint bills.

He also manages our investments. Me? I just say 'dump it in an index fund', but he prefers to much more involved than that! So he does it.

Re: The 35 Greatest Speeches in History

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 12:08:39 -0000

I am surprised that you did not include Obama's speech on race in America. I had actually given up on having a modern day speaker with the abilities as those who have come before. (Most people in your list, with the exception of Ronald Reagan, are almost 60 plus years ago.) Regardless of how one feels about Obama's politics, I think that the race in America speech is both seminal and oratorically badass.

Re: 52 Workout Songs To Help You Get Bigger, Stronger, and Faster

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 12:37:52 -0000

4. “Sabotage“ - Beastie Boys
10. “The Distance” - Cake
16. “Lose Yourself“ - Eminem
24. “Jump Around“ - House of Pain
25. “Numb / Encore“ - Jay-Z & Linkin Park
40. “Testify“ - Rage Against the Machine
41. “Bulls on Parade“ - Rage Against the Machine

YESYESYESYES

I would only add, PRODIGY. :)

Re: Profiles in Manliness: Viktor Frankl | The Art of Manliness

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 12:10:52 -0000

I can't tell you how ecstatic I am to see this article on TAOM. "Man's Search for Meaning" is one of the most profound books I've ever read. If someone can come through the experience of a concentration camp, a holocaust, with their spirit intact - that's someone who has touched the depths of our souls.

He does go into some 'technical' stuff, but I just skipped over those sections. It's powerful. Great job Cory.

Re: Why Being "Indie" is a Bunch of Bunk | The Art of Manliness

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 09:42:22 -0000

You could also say that of any musical subgenre - there is usually a very LARGE cultural element attached to it.

I've always considered myself "alt", as in "alternative".

I lovelovelove pop, rock, rap, hiphop, classical (including opera!), salsa and merengue (no so much bachata), goth (industrial and ebm), techno (not so much trance, house, and jungle), blues (NOT R&B), and bluegrass.

I love shows like Star Trek: TNG (trekker) and anything done by Joss Whedon. The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Sell This House, Big Spender, any of the Law & Orders, CSI: Las Vegas, Mad Men, America's Next Top Model, The Simpsons.

With food, I am also all over the map. How do I dress? Either very "office", or kind of punky/edgy. I also adore the retro look for women.

I typically read science fiction (Orson Scott Car, Asimov), some fantasy (David and Leigh Eddings) and romance novels. Not even romance novels with literary pretensions - just straight up, formulaic, can't-read-more-than-once Harlequin Romance. Magazines are equal parts "Scientific American" and "Allure".

So whether you want to talk recent developments in physics or celebrity gossip and fall fashion trends - I'm your girl. Now put that in a box and smoke it.

So I just sum it up as "alt", as in 'alternative' to everything else.

Re: Be a Modern Knight: Protecting Your Lady in the 21st Century

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 10:25:40 -0000

I do appreciate what you are trying to get across, however...

"men are physically stronger than women."

I have always been just about as strong as the average man. My husband is about 10% stronger in his upper body, but NO ONE can compete with my legs. I pity the fool who comes near my thighs uninvited.

As anyone in martial arts can tell you, it isn't always the more strength that 'wins'.

Re: Be a Modern Knight: Protecting Your Lady in the 21st Century

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 11:04:40 -0000

Now that I think about it, make that 20% stronger. It may only be about 10% but he has more 'strength stamina' in his arms than I do.

Re: Be a Modern Knight: Protecting Your Lady in the 21st Century

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 11:09:13 -0000

"@Hayden-If that’s true, why don’t marital arts tournaments pit men against women?"

Brett, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

I was comparing brute strength to the use of someone's force against them in martial arts tactics, not martial arts against martial arts. This is absolutely ridiculous just because you feel you need to prove a point.

And, by the way, as someone who has been the 'victim' of an attempted mugging - I STOPPED THAT ATTACKER THROUGH SHEER FORCE OF WILL AND A LITTLE BIT OF CRAZY. IT NEVER CAME TO BLOWS.

You are fast losing my respect.

Re: Be a Modern Knight: Protecting Your Lady in the 21st Century

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 11:26:27 -0000

Because your response had nothing to do with discussing 'my' strength, it was discussing the point I made regarding martial arts...

"As anyone in martial arts can tell you, it isn’t always the more strength that ‘wins’."

Which, by the way, is still true!

As for me being as strong as the average man, it isn't the 'average man' that competes in sports competitions. You are talking about the everyday man 'protecting' the everyday woman.

Your response was, frankly, insulting and misleading as to the core issue of the point.

Re: The Uncle Buzz Workout: How to Get in Shape Without the Gym

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 05:54:26 -0000

I do my lawn like Buzz! Do I get a bracelet? Like a WWBD "What Would Buzz Do" one?

Re: 5 Traits of True Leaders | The Art of Manliness

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 10:58:36 -0000

#4 is so important. I am glad you added it!

Re: How to Correctly Clean Your Revolver Gun | The Art of Manliness

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 09:29:43 -0000

For all the people who wanted 'manliness' articles without 'marriage' can I just tell you how glad I am that you did in fact write this gun article without reference to marriage? Just saying...

Re: The History and Nature of Man Friendships

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 11:45:11 -0000

This is such a great post. Men definitely need to maintain friendships with other men, especially after they are married. I think women can get distracted by the 'guys night out'. It isn't necessarily about going out with just any guys, but men with whom you have developed deep friendships.

I suddenly have the urge to see "Secondhand Lions" again!

Re: Sex: The Man Killer | The Art of Manliness

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 21:52:34 -0000

I've always liked what Leopold from the movie "Kate & Leopold" said:

"To court a woman in one's employ is a serpentine effort to turn a lady into a whore."

Re: Teaching Your Son to be a Man | The Art of Manliness

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:08:56 -0000

This article is just phenomenal. I lovelovelove what it said about opening a door for a woman.

Re: This Just In…..The 11 Manliest Anchormen of All Time

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 14:24:48 -0000

I think the inclusion of Jon Stewart was genius. I know folks want to make the distinction between "anchors" and "analysts" but this list is really more about truth telling and trust.

As for whether he is partisan, with the bulk of his show existing during the Bush Administration, it can look that way. But so far he's been all over the Obama administration as well.

Maybe it's an age thing, but I trust Jon Stewart over anyone on the Hall of Shame list.

Re: Man Up: The Proper Use Of The Tongue

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 20 May 2008 13:55:35 -0000

"As husbands, it is my contention that we should be fighting for the heart of our wife."

A man after my own heart!

Re: Woman Up: Watch Your Tongue

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 20 May 2008 15:19:59 -0000

"Get your mom out of the loop." So true.

Re: Redesign Part 2; Finished Now?

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 29 May 2008 14:46:17 -0000

I love the new layout. I had all sorts of trouble with the old one.

Re: 10 Ways To Improve Your Marriage While It’s Raining

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 09:44:58 -0000

#7? I thought that sex would be a little higher on the list! ;)

Re: The Manival is Coming! The Manival is Coming!

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 09:45:43 -0000

This is awesome news! Congrats. :)

Re: Man Up: Power

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 09:18:01 -0000

I love how each of your examples features someone who is not aggressive, but that does not in any way diminish their power. Standing up for what's right and having the faith of your convictions is extremely powerful.

Re: Ask The Readers: Squeezing The Toothpaste

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 09:24:31 -0000

I don't care but he prefers in the front.

Re: Ask The Readers: Squeezing The Toothpaste

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 09:27:45 -0000

As for the toilet seat: seat AND lid DOWN. Why? Because you crap in there and it is gross. I don't want to see it. I think it is completely unaesthetic.

Who has to clean the toilet? I do. Ergo, everything down. (Plus we have cats, plus toilet spray, plus toothbrushes not that far from said spray.)

Re: Man Up: Quit Coddling Your Kids

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 09:49:42 -0000

Oh, this post is PHENOMENAL. I totally agree.

By the way, you made me snort coffee up my nose! "and Satanâ€™s minion, Nancy Grace" LMAO! It's amazing how much we let television shape our view of the world.

Re: Ask The Readers: Anniversary Ideas

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 11:35:32 -0000

SUSHI. We go out for the best sushi in town.

Re: 6 Ways For Men To Simplify Their Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:28:36 -0000

AMEN LAURIE.

Re: Man Up: It’s Just Window Shopping, Right?

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 13:58:55 -0000

I am fully aware that I am about to sound like a crazy woman, but whenever a guy, or guys, do that crap to me - I walk over and confront them. Politely, BUT FIRMLY, I tell them "I'd appreciate it if you'd stop staring at me" and then I look each and every one of them in. the. eyes.

You'd be amazed at how effective that is.

Nature, God, saw fit to strap DDDs to my chest. I went through middle and high school ashamed of my body and horrified that people - men WITH their wives! - would ogle me like I wasn't an actual person, just a walking pair of boobs. I wore big, baggy clothes and they were all men's. I walked quickly, with my head down.

There is NO REASON that a 14 year-old should have to feel like something is wrong with her.

Re: Ho Hum Marriage? 9 Ways To Add Some Spice

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 02:30:28 -0000

Can I add, MAKE OUT. Married people get all focused on the sex and forget to make out.

Re: Ho Hum Marriage? 9 Ways To Add Some Spice

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 10:49:14 -0000

LMAO! Guess what today's post at PersistentIllusion is. :shakes head: Would you like me to refrain?

Re: Woman Up: Recognize The Beauty In You

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 11:56:09 -0000

"The woman who has found that beauty to unveil carries herself differently. More often, there is a smile upon her face. Her outlook on life is more optimistic.

Those that are doing things they are passionate about are attractive â€“ attractive because of the passion they pass on."

Beautiful and very true.

Re: Man Up: Tuck Your Kids Into Bed

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 09:26:18 -0000

I loveloveloveloveLOVE this post.

Re: The 5 Steps To A Simple Marriage- Part 3: Stand Up!

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:08:53 -0000

"Many times we are unwilling to state what we really feel."

I noticed that with my husband. So I started to pay attention to when he was dragging his feet on stuff, and that usually was because he didn't agree or like something.

Re: Ask The Readers: His And Her Checking Accounts

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 12:12:21 -0000

Right now we have separate checking and savings accounts, and one set for Joint. We set it up this way because we each have debt which we are paying off. (In Florida, as long as you keep accounts separate, the other person is not liable for debt incurred prior to the marriage. The second the other person makes a payment on your debt - BAM!)

Re: Art of Manliness’ Take On A Simple Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:23:16 -0000

Weeiird. No kids, check. Married 3 years, check. Less than ideal amounts of time together, check. Date nights, check. Borders, double check. Peas in a pod, check check.

Do I have another blog without my knowledge?! Seriously, though. Weird.

Re: How To Choose A Shrink: Part 2

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 10:15:22 -0000

One thing is that some marriage counselors are 'pro-wife'. Their focus becomes on how the husband is 'messing up' without an objective or non-biased opinion of the dynbamic of a relationship. The guys I know who have tried counseling and disliked it, had that experience and - unfortunately - will never try it again.

Re: Man Up: 14 Ways To Affair Proof Your Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 10:30:17 -0000

"But itâ€™s also possible to be unfaithful without having to go that far."

No kidding. If I EVER came across my husband making out or even holding hands with someone else, I would turn into the Incredible Hulk.

If you can't do it in front of me, and it isn't something you could do with your mother, then it's cheating.

Re: The 5 Steps To A Simple Marriage: Part 4- Simplify

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 06:39:52 -0000

First I committed us to my firm softball league. Then I committed us to someone-from-my-firm's kickball team. I obviously didn't remember how much I hated our free time being scheduled like that. When I told him we played our last game, he said "Than God".

We've agreed. The next time someone asks, the answer is "no!"

Re: Ask The Readers: Marriage Quirks

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 10:26:20 -0000

"You know the double light switches that are often found in hallways and kitchens? I donâ€™t like it when the switches are in opposite positions."

Hahahahaha! Corey, that's not a quirk, it's an OCD tendency!

I hate having stuff on the counters. Dirt doesn't bother me as much as clutter does. I know, it's weird. Not as weird as flipping light switches though! ;)

Re: Man Up: The Art Of Non-Sexual Touch

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 13:30:21 -0000

"Give massages."

Um. Or just play with my hair. If you had ANY IDEA how good it feels... Seriously, I hate football and Jim Cramer but I would sit there for either if my Beloved was just running his hands through my hair.

As for sex? I make sure he gets PLENTY at home, so he doesn't start itching for something else. In fact, I know his 'sexual cycle' so well that I know that if we haven't had sex in 5 days - he will turn a tad Neanderthal. I don't push it that long often, but sometimes a little anticipation never hurt anybody. ;)

Re: Ask The Readers: Questions And Post Suggestions

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 06:23:07 -0000

I second the in-law suggestion!

Re: Is A Successful Celebrity Marriage An Oxymoron?

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 11:04:26 -0000

That's one reason Will Smith gives for him being with Jada for so long. He said something to the effect of 'when divorce is not an option, you do whatever it takes'.

I always remember that.

Re: Ask The Readers: Favorite Books On Life And Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:42:57 -0000

Have you ever read any of the Belgariad? It's a series of Fantasy novels by David Eddings. Anyway, the marriage between Polgara and Durnik was one that I always really admires, especially since she was a 'strong woman'.

Re: Confessions Of A Blogaholic

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 17:19:10 -0000

When Chris and I went out to Denver, I could do all the blogging I wanted. (If I recall correctly, that is when I wrote my "How to Be A Woman" piece. In the airport. Which is one of the most important articles I've written so far.)

Once we got to the seminar, however, I locked the laptop in the car. I didn't check it, even on breaks.

Blogging isn't just about writing articles, it is about interaction with others. I can see how it is easy to want to maintain that contact and sense of community.

Re: The 5 Steps To A Simple Marriage- Part 5: Living In Community

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:05:25 -0000

Can I just tell you that I so love my online community? I met some truly truly amazing people.

Re: Persistent Illusion’s Take On A Simple Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 17:33:06 -0000

Laurie, thank you so much for your kind words. 20 years of marriage, from this end seems like so far away - yet I know it will seem like it just flew by when we are on the other side of it all.

Mssc54, it's funny. Chris and I knew we were getting married after having dated for 2 months. Well, I think he knew a little sooner than that. But his mom knew after meeting me for the first time. Life's funny that way.

Corey, thank you for including me on this spectacular series!

Re: 6 Tips For A More Sensual Marriage From Solomon

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:12:57 -0000

Wooh! The Song of Solomon! It's like the time I found out what "Kubla Khan" was about. Goodness!

I always admired the aboslute passion he had for her, though she was clearly not that pretty. But how is that different from how many husbands view their wives today?

"Thou art all fair, my love, there is no spot in thee."

I love this article.

Re: A Marriage Coaching Experiment

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 21:56:41 -0000

Wow, what an INCREDIBLE offer!

Re: A Few Odds, Ends And Marriage Coaching

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 16:18:17 -0000

WOOHOO! Congratulations, Corey!!!

Re: Ask The Readers: Marital Reflections

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 20:52:22 -0000

That you can absolutely never assume that you understand why or what the other person is thinking.

Re: A Fun Way To Add A Spark To Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 21:32:15 -0000

At first, I was all "Who doesn't pick up the phone when their love muffin calls?!" Then I remembered...I don't pick up the phone when my love muffin calls and I happen to be reading...or if it's upstairs and I would have to get up to go get the phone...or if I am mid-nap. (Especially if I am mid-nap!)

Besides, how can he leave me an adorable message if I am always grabbing at the phone?

Exactly.

Re: Art Of Nonconformity’s Take On A Simple Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 09:17:36 -0000

I just LOVE that Jolie added her perspective. It is incredible when a marriage is truly a partnership.

Way to go, Chris and Jolie!

P.S. By the way, Chris. You and your first .PDF are the reason I quit my job and am starting my own business. Well, not the 'reason', but the visceral motivation for it. So, thank you.

And, especially, thank you Jolie for being so understanding about your husband traveling the world and e-booking because it literally has changed my life. And I am SURE he wouldn't have been able to do it without your support and love. :)

Re: Simple Marriage Readers’ Favorite Books

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:45:05 -0000

That's a pretty awesome list!

Re: Woman Up: WARNING! Men Are Delicate

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 09:21:16 -0000

Be persistently, positively upbeat and passionate. I basically sucked Chris into my own energy and he felt comfortable 'letting go'.

He also liked that I was equally invested in him living his dreams.

Re: Your Parents Are Coming To Visit For How Long? 8 Tips For Improving Your Relationship With In-Laws

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 18:22:32 -0000

A HOTEL. I cannot stress the importance of making sure they stay in one and not your home.

Re: Marriage Biggification: Getting Buck Naked

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 07:14:27 -0000

EXACTLY! Wonderful article.

Re: Make Yourself At Home

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 16:20:36 -0000

WOOHOO! I need to step back, you are on fire!

Re: Man Biggification: Taking The Lead In Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 19:37:33 -0000

I would like to second the motion on #5, Ravish me, baby!!! Er, I mean, um, one should ravish their wife.

Yes.

One should. :)

Re: A Good Husband’s Take On A Simple Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 10:54:11 -0000

Lissie's last answer makes my heart melt. Life is one great Love Story. Beautiful.

Re: Ask The Readers: What’s The Difference Between Intimacy And Sex?

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 11:35:23 -0000

@Laurie, it's interesting about men and emotional intimacy. I would agree that most men don't want to share as much as women do, but I think they have a very deep need for emotional certainty. The absolute knowing that they can trust their partners.

I do think it is emotional intimacy, just a passive instead of an active emotional intimacy.

Re: 11 Mistakes That Men Make During Sex

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 15:06:12 -0000

I would add:

Make out and put you hand on her neck or back of the head. Hold her by the hips! (Most guys go grabby for the behind, but women LURVE being held by the hips.)

Oh yes, and make #5, NUMBER ONE. You can never ever underestimate the importance of this.

Er, I think I need to go find my husband...

Re: 11 Mistakes That Men Make During Sex

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 21:49:21 -0000

Erm, I'm passionate...about sex. I can't help it, I LOVE these posts! Way to go, Corey!

Re: 10 Mistakes Women Make During Sex

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 21:00:52 -0000

Regarding #9...I have to say that men often don't realize what their wife 'initiating sex' looks like.

Most men envision a woman jumping on them and ripping their clothes off while they lay there and she does all the work. Though tempting, that is not-so-much 'initiating' for most women. (For example, if your wife is trying to make out with you, odds are that she is trying to 'initiate sex'.)

Re: What’s YOUR Big Idea?

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 12:40:35 -0000

I think Steve's article has fostered some very good discussion. (I know it did in the Tompkins house!) I think that consciously choosing one's relationship and living mindfully in it, is probably my big idea.

People get married because they think they have to and then put the relationship on auto-pilot. That's a disaster waiting to happen and a very sad way to live one's life.

Re: Ask The Readers: Last Minute Ideas For Valentine’s Day?

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 13:34:29 -0000

Having fun is romantic! :)

Re: The Simple Marriage De-Lurk-A-Thon

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 18:27:41 -0000

I absolutely LOVE this blog and it's approach to marriage. I read every article even if I don't comment!

Re: The Art of Marital Conversation

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 10:08:40 -0000

One concept that has helped us IMMENSELY is the idea that if one partner has a problem, it's a problem.

I've noticed that often a spouse will try and break down the 'problem' and insist that one does not exist. But it doesn't matter if a problem ACTUALLY exists because the partner's BELIEF that a problem exists means that one does.

Chris used to have a problem with me 'making fun of him'. Now, for the record, I have NEVER made fun of my husband. But since he felt there was a problem, there was a problem and I adjusted my behavior accordingly.

If you try to force the 'reality' that there is no problem (like I did at first), the other person will merely resist you and feel like you don't support them.

P.S. LOVE this article.

Re: 7 Marriage Hacks to More Passion and Adventure

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 15:07:10 -0000

YES YES YES to #5! Gross, clutter, etc. is not sexy or romantic.

Re: Flooding – Stop to Start

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 15:12:48 -0000

"STOP eating doughnuts in order to START losing weight"

Mary Ann are you trying to SAY SOMETHING?

Actually this is an incredible article and touches on the whole "anti-habit" thing I've been mulling over. The process is crucial to getting past "me" to "us". Bloody well done.

Re: Are You Making These Marriage Mistakes?

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:03:06 -0000

"It’s been reported that there are as many as 20 million sexless marriages in America."

WHAT?? That's...wow.

Re: 20 Must Read Blogs For Married People

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 12:57:43 -0000

I am SO THRILLED that you added Simple Marriage! SM is such a unique resource for rocking your marriage. Thanks for compiling this fabulous list and double thanks for adding TTi!

Re: Simple Marriage Social Media Love-In

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 10:00:20 -0000

I simply love how you build communities, Corey.

Re: Connecting In Order To Have The Best Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 16:43:46 -0000

Honesty doesn't just mean telling the truth, but speaking up with the truth.

P.S. Hiding things from your spouse is bound to blow up in your face anyway since secrets almost never STAY secrets.

Re: The Value Of Values

Hayden Tompkins — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 23:00:39 -0000

I have actually had a values analysis with Tim and it was like a bolt of lightening. That illuminating; that powerful.

After that I was like "DUH! No WONDER I have been struggling with this issue. It's TOTALLY opposed to my core values." I sort of kind of maybe had an idea of what they were, but I never really understood just how IMPORTANT they were.

After that, the idea that value conflict can lead to a lot of marital conflict makes a TON of sense.

Re: Could Too Much Sex Negatively Impact Your Marriage?

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:39:43 -0000

Man I ALWAYS fall for this stuff!

Re: Ask The Readers: What Did Your Parents Tell You About Marriage That Turned Out To Be True?

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 13:38:23 -0000

It's strange now that I think about it but my parents never told me a thing about marriage! I mean they were divorced (from a common law marriage) but they didn't even tell me bad things about marriage.

Wow, how is that possible?

Re: If Your Marriage Were A Movie, Would You Want To Go See It?

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 13:37:40 -0000

Our courtship was certainly full of drama and story arcs to be resolved! Though I don't think I want my marriage to be packed full of suspense and drama, we could definitely do with a little more action.

Re: Best Of Simple Marriage And Some Thank You’s

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 01 May 2009 09:32:56 -0000

It was incredible being a part of helping you rock your awesome. This is what you do, help people reclaim their marriages. Amazing!

Re: How To Talk About Sex With Your Spouse

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 06 May 2009 13:55:25 -0000

"it’s easier to talk about sex with friends than it is with your sexual partner? Why is that?"

It's personal. And we are wired to hear the slightest (even constructive) criticism as "You have failed."

Kudos for taking on such a sensitive topic!

Re: 13 Ways To Make Your Spouse Hate Sex

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 08 May 2009 09:30:15 -0000

What do you mean "answer the phone during sex"?! Who would do that??

Re: For Men Only: A Quick Start Guide on the Inner Workings of Your Woman

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 11 May 2009 22:06:33 -0000

This little list is on the money.

Re: What’s Wrong And How Do We Fix It?

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 13 May 2009 14:01:51 -0000

Yes! So much of a successful marriage is rooted in our shared flexibility. And if you are the wall of stone, then it is your partner who is the grass below, or the wind above; twisting to accommodate you.

Re: Thanks To The Love Of My Wife

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 26 May 2009 16:33:32 -0000

I can't even tell you. That last line just gave me goosebumps. Thank you for sharing this, for being so bravely honest. Marriage, if it is a good one, demands the best we have to give.

Re: What To Do When She Makes More Than Him

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 11:16:52 -0000

When Chris and I first met, we made about the same amount of money. When we left Florida, he took a huge pay cut (and I was the "breadwinner" for several years) but has now completely moved into his field and is rocking a much more substantial salary. I, on the other hand, quit my job and am making a lot less money.

I currently make 22.4% of what my husband does!

As someone who is a very independent person, and who has always paid her own way, I do feel a little disconcerted about the whole thing. I honestly don't feel that I am contributing as much as I should.

I don't think this is a "gender" issue, at least for us. I don't need to feel like the breadwinner, I need to feel like a partner.

Re: Ask The Readers: Most Romantic Movie Scenes

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 15:52:55 -0000

The scene from "300" when they are discussing what King Leonidas needs to do to protect Sparta and Greece. First of all, they are clearly in love and passionate but most of all, they are 100% committed to each other. A complete, badass partnership. No one's strength diminishes the other and the strength of one is the strength of both.

Re: Ask The Readers: Most Romantic Movie Scenes

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 15:54:45 -0000

@Andy That is a GREAT scene!

Re: Feel Free To Steal From Me

Hayden Tompkins — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 12:16:27 -0000

I came across Romans 8:28 yesterday, and this post reminds me of it.

"And, we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

Re: The Greatest Productivity Blog List Ever

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 11:58:44 -0000

Wow, thank you for including PersistentIllusion!

Re: Marriage: Destination Nowhere Or Anywhere? Lifestyle Design For Married People

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 15:33:26 -0000

Marriage is an incredible part of lifestyle design, I am surprised but thrilled that you included this. Great article, Corey! Love the term 'dreamlining'.

Re: In a Past Life, Social Media Turned Me Into a People Hater (But Now I Love People Again :-)

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 08:47:06 -0000

People have asked me to add them to my blogroll, or comment on their blog or stumble a post. My blog, however, is very specific - personal development. I don't add people who aren't in that niche unless I have a REALLY good reason. As for commenting on other blogs, I only do that when I am moved to. I read your blog all the time, for example, but don't comment unless I have something to say. As for stumbling posts upon requests, I'll consider it. I'll read the post and decide if it is something I think is worth stumbling. It's, for me, an issue of personal ethics. I would never promote something IRL that I didn't think was a great item, and the rules aren't different for me online.

Anyway, I still have a group of core, committed readers who are not bent out of shape that I do not have them on my blogroll. I do comment on their blogs, but only on posts that move me to comment.

Hm. So I guess my point is, don't worry about the haters. If they don't respond to your style, they can move on and hold someone else's time hostage.

Re: Why I Started Punching Jerks Again

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 10:18:30 -0000

I totally understand what the point of this article is. I am convinced that people who act like a**holes are basically abusing the assumed good-nature of the people they are dealing with.

However.

Before you start throwing punches, perhaps you could escalate to confrontation first.

What I mean is that SO MANY PEOPLE ARE F*CK*NG AFRAID OF CONFRONTATION. They would rather let 'it' slide. We have gotten to the point where someone won't verbalize that they are even upset. I can't tell you how many people I have reamed a new one for - that, as I am tearing into them, have absolutely nothing to say.

I think that's why "Office Space" and "Fight Club" were so liberating. Those guys started saying exactly what they meant.

Re: Depression: How You Label Determines How You Feel

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 14:11:13 -0000

It was much more serious that depression, not that I am making light of depression. He was having problems sleeping and, as a method actor, he mentally absorbed every bit of toxicity from his characters so he could portray it on screen. He got to the point with the Joker character that he could only sleep about two hours a night.

Re: Escaping the Amish - Part 2

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 19:54:23 -0000

Did you parents ever try contacting your uncles when you went missing? I guess my question is, did you ever find out what their reaction to you leaving was?

Re: The Business Idea: MemeTales: Democratize the creation of children’s books

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 16:37:27 -0000

A blogger named WriterDad is doing this too. (http://writerdad.com) He is calling them 'Wee Books'. (http://writerdad.com/writer-dads-wee-books) He has a setup on his website so you can at least see what and how he is selling, and for what price. (I think between $1 and $5?) I'm not a parent so I haven't really paid attention to the weebooks. You should definitely email him, though, and grill him about his business!

<abbr>Hayden Tompkins´s last blog post..Carnival of Personal Development</abbr>

Re: Man Up: The Proper Use Of The Tongue

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 20 May 2008 13:55:35 -0000

"As husbands, it is my contention that we should be fighting for the heart of our wife."

A man after my own heart!

Re: Man Up: The Proper Use Of The Tongue

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 20 May 2008 13:55:35 -0000

"As husbands, it is my contention that we should be fighting for the heart of our wife."

A man after my own heart!

Re: Woman Up: Watch Your Tongue

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 20 May 2008 15:19:59 -0000

"Get your mom out of the loop." So true.

Re: Woman Up: Watch Your Tongue

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 20 May 2008 15:19:59 -0000

"Get your mom out of the loop." So true.

Re: Redesign Part 2; Finished Now?

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 29 May 2008 14:46:17 -0000

I love the new layout. I had all sorts of trouble with the old one.

Re: Redesign Part 2; Finished Now?

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 29 May 2008 14:46:17 -0000

I love the new layout. I had all sorts of trouble with the old one.

Re: 10 Ways To Improve Your Marriage While It’s Raining

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 09:44:58 -0000

#7? I thought that sex would be a little higher on the list! ;)

Re: 10 Ways To Improve Your Marriage While It's Raining

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 09:44:58 -0000

#7? I thought that sex would be a little higher on the list! ;)

Re: The Manival is Coming! The Manival is Coming!

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 09:45:43 -0000

This is awesome news! Congrats. :)

Re: The Manival is Coming! The Manival is Coming!

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 09:45:43 -0000

This is awesome news! Congrats. :)

Re: Man Up: Power

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 09:18:01 -0000

Re: Man Up: Power

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 09:18:01 -0000

Re: Ask The Readers: Squeezing The Toothpaste

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 09:24:31 -0000

I don't care but he prefers in the front.

Re: Ask The Readers: Squeezing The Toothpaste

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 09:24:31 -0000

I don't care but he prefers in the front.

Re: Ask The Readers: Squeezing The Toothpaste

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 09:27:45 -0000

Re: Ask The Readers: Squeezing The Toothpaste

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 09:27:45 -0000

Re: Man Up: Quit Coddling Your Kids

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 09:49:42 -0000

Re: Man Up: Quit Coddling Your Kids

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 09:49:42 -0000

Re: Ask The Readers: Anniversary Ideas

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 11:35:32 -0000

SUSHI. We go out for the best sushi in town.

Re: Ask The Readers: Anniversary Ideas

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 11:35:32 -0000

SUSHI. We go out for the best sushi in town.

Re: 6 Ways For Men To Simplify Their Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:28:36 -0000

AMEN LAURIE.

Re: 6 Ways For Men To Simplify Their Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:28:36 -0000

AMEN LAURIE.

Re: Man Up: It’s Just Window Shopping, Right?

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 13:58:55 -0000

Re: Man Up: It's Just Window Shopping, Right?

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 13:58:55 -0000

Re: Ho Hum Marriage? 9 Ways To Add Some Spice

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 02:30:28 -0000

Can I add, MAKE OUT. Married people get all focused on the sex and forget to make out.

Re: Ho Hum Marriage? 9 Ways To Add Some Spice

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 02:30:28 -0000

Can I add, MAKE OUT. Married people get all focused on the sex and forget to make out.

Re: Ho Hum Marriage? 9 Ways To Add Some Spice

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 10:49:14 -0000

LMAO! Guess what today's post at PersistentIllusion is. :shakes head: Would you like me to refrain?

Re: Ho Hum Marriage? 9 Ways To Add Some Spice

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 10:49:14 -0000

LMAO! Guess what today's post at PersistentIllusion is. :shakes head: Would you like me to refrain?

Re: Woman Up: Recognize The Beauty In You

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 11:56:09 -0000

Re: Woman Up: Recognize The Beauty In You

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 11:56:09 -0000

Re: Man Up: Tuck Your Kids Into Bed

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 09:26:18 -0000

I loveloveloveloveLOVE this post.

Re: Man Up: Tuck Your Kids Into Bed

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 09:26:18 -0000

I loveloveloveloveLOVE this post.

Re: The 5 Steps To A Simple Marriage- Part 3: Stand Up!

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:08:53 -0000

Re: The 5 Steps To A Simple Marriage- Part 3: Stand Up!

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:08:53 -0000

Re: Ask The Readers: His And Her Checking Accounts

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 12:12:21 -0000

Re: Ask The Readers: His And Her Checking Accounts

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 12:12:21 -0000

Re: Art of Manliness’ Take On A Simple Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:23:16 -0000

Re: Art of Manliness' Take On A Simple Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:23:16 -0000

Re: How To Choose A Shrink: Part 2

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 10:15:22 -0000

Re: How To Choose A Shrink: Part 2

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 10:15:22 -0000

Re: Man Up: 14 Ways To Affair Proof Your Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 10:30:17 -0000

Re: Man Up: 14 Ways To Affair Proof Your Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 10:30:17 -0000

Re: The 5 Steps To A Simple Marriage: Part 4- Simplify

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 06:39:52 -0000

Re: The 5 Steps To A Simple Marriage: Part 4- Simplify

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 06:39:52 -0000

Re: Ask The Readers: Marriage Quirks

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 10:26:20 -0000

Re: Ask The Readers: Marriage Quirks

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 10:26:20 -0000

Re: Man Up: The Art Of Non-Sexual Touch

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 13:30:21 -0000

Re: Man Up: The Art Of Non-Sexual Touch

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 13:30:21 -0000

Re: Ask The Readers: Questions And Post Suggestions

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 06:23:07 -0000

I second the in-law suggestion!

Re: Ask The Readers: Questions And Post Suggestions

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 06:23:07 -0000

I second the in-law suggestion!

Re: Is A Successful Celebrity Marriage An Oxymoron?

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 11:04:26 -0000

That's one reason Will Smith gives for him being with Jada for so long. He said something to the effect of 'when divorce is not an option, you do whatever it takes'.

I always remember that.

Re: Is A Successful Celebrity Marriage An Oxymoron?

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 11:04:26 -0000

That's one reason Will Smith gives for him being with Jada for so long. He said something to the effect of 'when divorce is not an option, you do whatever it takes'.

I always remember that.

Re: Ask The Readers: Favorite Books On Life And Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:42:57 -0000

Re: Ask The Readers: Favorite Books On Life And Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:42:57 -0000

Re: Confessions Of A Blogaholic

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 17:19:10 -0000

Re: Confessions Of A Blogaholic

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 17:19:10 -0000

Re: The 5 Steps To A Simple Marriage- Part 5: Living In Community

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:05:25 -0000

Can I just tell you that I so love my online community? I met some truly truly amazing people.

Re: The 5 Steps To A Simple Marriage- Part 5: Living In Community

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:05:25 -0000

Can I just tell you that I so love my online community? I met some truly truly amazing people.

Re: Persistent Illusion’s Take On A Simple Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 17:33:06 -0000

Re: Persistent Illusion's Take On A Simple Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 17:33:06 -0000

Re: 6 Tips For A More Sensual Marriage From Solomon

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:12:57 -0000

Re: 6 Tips For A More Sensual Marriage From Solomon

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:12:57 -0000

Re: A Marriage Coaching Experiment

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 21:56:41 -0000

Wow, what an INCREDIBLE offer!

Re: A Marriage Coaching Experiment

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 21:56:41 -0000

Wow, what an INCREDIBLE offer!

Re: A Few Odds, Ends And Marriage Coaching

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 16:18:17 -0000

WOOHOO! Congratulations, Corey!!!

Re: A Few Odds, Ends And Marriage Coaching

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 16:18:17 -0000

WOOHOO! Congratulations, Corey!!!

Re: Ask The Readers: Marital Reflections

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 20:52:22 -0000

That you can absolutely never assume that you understand why or what the other person is thinking.

Re: Ask The Readers: Marital Reflections

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 20:52:22 -0000

That you can absolutely never assume that you understand why or what the other person is thinking.

Re: A Fun Way To Add A Spark To Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 21:32:15 -0000

Re: A Fun Way To Add A Spark To Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 21:32:15 -0000

Re: Art Of Nonconformity’s Take On A Simple Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 09:17:36 -0000

Re: Art Of Nonconformity's Take On A Simple Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 09:17:36 -0000

Re: Simple Marriage Readers’ Favorite Books

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:45:05 -0000

That's a pretty awesome list!

Re: Simple Marriage Readers' Favorite Books

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:45:05 -0000

That's a pretty awesome list!

Re: Woman Up: WARNING! Men Are Delicate

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 09:21:16 -0000

Re: Woman Up: WARNING! Men Are Delicate

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 09:21:16 -0000

Re: Your Parents Are Coming To Visit For How Long? 8 Tips For Improving Your Relationship With In-Laws

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 18:22:32 -0000

A HOTEL. I cannot stress the importance of making sure they stay in one and not your home.

Re: Your Parents Are Coming To Visit For How Long? 8 Tips For Improving Your Relationship With In-Laws

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 18:22:32 -0000

A HOTEL. I cannot stress the importance of making sure they stay in one and not your home.

Re: Marriage Biggification: Getting Buck Naked

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 07:14:27 -0000

EXACTLY! Wonderful article.

Re: Marriage Biggification: Getting Buck Naked

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 07:14:27 -0000

EXACTLY! Wonderful article.

Re: Make Yourself At Home

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 16:20:36 -0000

WOOHOO! I need to step back, you are on fire!

Re: Make Yourself At Home

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 16:20:36 -0000

WOOHOO! I need to step back, you are on fire!

Re: Man Biggification: Taking The Lead In Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 19:37:33 -0000

I would like to second the motion on #5, Ravish me, baby!!! Er, I mean, um, one should ravish their wife.

Yes.

One should. :)

Re: Man Biggification: Taking The Lead In Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 19:37:33 -0000

I would like to second the motion on #5, Ravish me, baby!!! Er, I mean, um, one should ravish their wife.

Yes.

One should. :)

Re: A Good Husband’s Take On A Simple Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 10:54:11 -0000

Lissie's last answer makes my heart melt. Life is one great Love Story. Beautiful.

Re: A Good Husband's Take On A Simple Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 10:54:11 -0000

Lissie's last answer makes my heart melt. Life is one great Love Story. Beautiful.

Re: Ask The Readers: What’s The Difference Between Intimacy And Sex?

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 11:35:23 -0000

Re: Ask The Readers: What's The Difference Between Intimacy And Sex?

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 11:35:23 -0000

Re: 11 Mistakes That Men Make During Sex

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 15:06:12 -0000

Re: 11 Mistakes That Men Make During Sex

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 15:06:12 -0000

Re: 11 Mistakes That Men Make During Sex

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 21:49:21 -0000

Erm, I'm passionate...about sex. I can't help it, I LOVE these posts! Way to go, Corey!

Re: 11 Mistakes That Men Make During Sex

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 21:49:21 -0000

Erm, I'm passionate...about sex. I can't help it, I LOVE these posts! Way to go, Corey!

Re: 10 Mistakes Women Make During Sex

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 21:00:52 -0000

Re: 10 Mistakes Women Make During Sex

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 21:00:52 -0000

Re: What’s YOUR Big Idea?

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 12:40:35 -0000

Re: What's YOUR Big Idea?

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 12:40:35 -0000

Re: Ask The Readers: Last Minute Ideas For Valentine’s Day?

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 13:34:29 -0000

Having fun is romantic! :)

Re: Ask The Readers: Last Minute Ideas For Valentine's Day?

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 13:34:29 -0000

Having fun is romantic! :)

Re: The Simple Marriage De-Lurk-A-Thon

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 18:27:41 -0000

I absolutely LOVE this blog and it's approach to marriage. I read every article even if I don't comment!

Re: The Simple Marriage De-Lurk-A-Thon

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 18:27:41 -0000

I absolutely LOVE this blog and it's approach to marriage. I read every article even if I don't comment!

Re: The Art of Marital Conversation

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 10:08:40 -0000

Re: The Art of Marital Conversation

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 10:08:40 -0000

Re: 7 Marriage Hacks to More Passion and Adventure

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 15:07:10 -0000

YES YES YES to #5! Gross, clutter, etc. is not sexy or romantic.

Re: 7 Marriage Hacks to More Passion and Adventure

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 15:07:10 -0000

YES YES YES to #5! Gross, clutter, etc. is not sexy or romantic.

Re: Flooding – Stop to Start

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 15:12:48 -0000

Re: Flooding – Stop to Start

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 15:12:48 -0000

Re: Are You Making These Marriage Mistakes?

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:03:06 -0000

"It’s been reported that there are as many as 20 million sexless marriages in America."

WHAT?? That's...wow.

Re: Are You Making These Marriage Mistakes?

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:03:06 -0000

"It’s been reported that there are as many as 20 million sexless marriages in America."

WHAT?? That's...wow.

Re: 20 Must Read Blogs For Married People

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 12:57:43 -0000

I am SO THRILLED that you added Simple Marriage! SM is such a unique resource for rocking your marriage. Thanks for compiling this fabulous list and double thanks for adding TTi!

Re: 20 Must Read Blogs For Married People

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 12:57:43 -0000

I am SO THRILLED that you added Simple Marriage! SM is such a unique resource for rocking your marriage. Thanks for compiling this fabulous list and double thanks for adding TTi!

Re: Simple Marriage Social Media Love-In

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 10:00:20 -0000

I simply love how you build communities, Corey.

Re: Simple Marriage Social Media Love-In

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 10:00:20 -0000

I simply love how you build communities, Corey.

Re: Connecting In Order To Have The Best Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 16:43:46 -0000

Honesty doesn't just mean telling the truth, but speaking up with the truth.

P.S. Hiding things from your spouse is bound to blow up in your face anyway since secrets almost never STAY secrets.

Re: Connecting In Order To Have The Best Marriage

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 16:43:46 -0000

Honesty doesn't just mean telling the truth, but speaking up with the truth.

P.S. Hiding things from your spouse is bound to blow up in your face anyway since secrets almost never STAY secrets.

Re: The Value Of Values

Hayden Tompkins — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 23:00:39 -0000

Re: The Value Of Values

Hayden Tompkins — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 23:00:39 -0000

Re: Could Too Much Sex Negatively Impact Your Marriage?

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:39:43 -0000

Man I ALWAYS fall for this stuff!

Re: Could Too Much Sex Negatively Impact Your Marriage?

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:39:43 -0000

Man I ALWAYS fall for this stuff!

Re: Ask The Readers: What Did Your Parents Tell You About Marriage That Turned Out To Be True?

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 13:38:23 -0000

Re: Ask The Readers: What Did Your Parents Tell You About Marriage That Turned Out To Be True?

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 13:38:23 -0000

Re: If Your Marriage Were A Movie, Would You Want To Go See It?

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 13:37:40 -0000

Re: If Your Marriage Were A Movie, Would You Want To Go See It?

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 13:37:40 -0000

Re: Best Of Simple Marriage And Some Thank You’s

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 01 May 2009 09:32:56 -0000

It was incredible being a part of helping you rock your awesome. This is what you do, help people reclaim their marriages. Amazing!

Re: Best Of Simple Marriage And Some Thank You's

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 01 May 2009 09:32:56 -0000

It was incredible being a part of helping you rock your awesome. This is what you do, help people reclaim their marriages. Amazing!

Re: How To Talk About Sex With Your Spouse

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 06 May 2009 13:55:25 -0000

Re: How To Talk About Sex With Your Spouse

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 06 May 2009 13:55:25 -0000

Re: 13 Ways To Make Your Spouse Hate Sex

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 08 May 2009 09:30:15 -0000

What do you mean "answer the phone during sex"?! Who would do that??

Re: 13 Ways To Make Your Spouse Hate Sex

Hayden Tompkins — Fri, 08 May 2009 09:30:15 -0000

What do you mean "answer the phone during sex"?! Who would do that??

Re: For Men Only: A Quick Start Guide on the Inner Workings of Your Woman

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 11 May 2009 22:06:33 -0000

This little list is on the money.

Re: For Men Only: A Quick Start Guide on the Inner Workings of Your Woman

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 11 May 2009 22:06:33 -0000

This little list is on the money.

Re: What’s Wrong And How Do We Fix It?

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 13 May 2009 14:01:51 -0000

Re: What's Wrong And How Do We Fix It?

Hayden Tompkins — Wed, 13 May 2009 14:01:51 -0000

Re: Thanks To The Love Of My Wife

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 26 May 2009 16:33:32 -0000

I can't even tell you. That last line just gave me goosebumps. Thank you for sharing this, for being so bravely honest. Marriage, if it is a good one, demands the best we have to give.

Re: Thanks To The Love Of My Wife

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 26 May 2009 16:33:32 -0000

I can't even tell you. That last line just gave me goosebumps. Thank you for sharing this, for being so bravely honest. Marriage, if it is a good one, demands the best we have to give.

Re: What To Do When She Makes More Than Him

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 11:16:52 -0000

Re: What To Do When She Makes More Than Him

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 11:16:52 -0000

Re: Ask The Readers: Most Romantic Movie Scenes

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 15:52:55 -0000

Re: Ask The Readers: Most Romantic Movie Scenes

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 15:52:55 -0000

Re: Ask The Readers: Most Romantic Movie Scenes

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 15:54:45 -0000

@Andy That is a GREAT scene!

Re: Ask The Readers: Most Romantic Movie Scenes

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 15:54:45 -0000

@Andy That is a GREAT scene!

Re: Feel Free To Steal From Me

Hayden Tompkins — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 12:16:27 -0000

I came across Romans 8:28 yesterday, and this post reminds me of it.

"And, we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

Re: Thread

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 09:24:00 -0000

You are absolutely correct about employee attrition being a sign. That`s a indication I was aware of, but you are also totally correct about the lengths someone will go to avoid walking past a supervisors office. I wish I`d noticed that sooner in my career!

Re: Marriage: Destination Nowhere Or Anywhere? Lifestyle Design For Married People

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 15:33:26 -0000

Marriage is an incredible part of lifestyle design, I am surprised but thrilled that you included this. Great article, Corey! Love the term 'dreamlining'.

Re: In a Past Life, Social Media Turned Me Into a People Hater (But Now I Love People Again :-)

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 06:47:06 -0000

Re: Marriage: Destination Nowhere Or Anywhere? Lifestyle Design For Married People

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 15:33:26 -0000

Marriage is an incredible part of lifestyle design, I am surprised but thrilled that you included this. Great article, Corey! Love the term 'dreamlining'.

Re: In a Past Life, Social Media Turned Me Into a People Hater (But Now I Love People Again :-)

Hayden Tompkins — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 06:47:06 -0000

Re: How You Can Win a Project Mojave Membership (And an Additional $1728.99 in prizes)

Hayden Tompkins — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 22:01:16 -0000

"Why you think Project Mojave can help you create a successful, thriving Freedom Business?"

I quit my job over a year ago so I could make a difference and 'unplug from the matrix'. And here I am, a year later, essentially a stay-at-home wife who is supported by her husband. I didn't unplug from the matrix, I traded the old one for a new one!

When I was originally contemplating an online business, I signed up for consulting...which didn't go well. (That's putting it mildly.) I also bought StomperNet but was so freaked out over losing my bonuses within the next 30-60 days that I OD'd on bonuses and haven't even touched my StomperNet stuff.

I keep telling myself I'll get around to it but, frankly, every time I look at those DVDs I get totally nauseated.

I probably don't have to tell you that every business decision I've made in the last year has been a disaster. I feel like I've been banging my head against a wall and wading through crap to do it.

And, from what I've seen, most people who "thrive" using the StomperNet tricks or blackhat SEO stuff are people who aren't contributing anything to anyone. They're digitally jacked up middle men who are building a fortune off of being the first result on Google for "Prada purses".

So I keep following all the "internet marketing" people but I don't like any of them or what they do. I don't want to be like those guys! And all the information I've come across talks about how to tweak and maximize a landing page, or tips and tricks that help me obsess over pay-per-click conversion rates. I mean, that stuff is 3-4 steps ahead of me already!

I'm a visual and kinesthetic learner. I need to SEE and DO to really understand. But even more basic, I've been stuck and terrified and afraid to move because I don't really have a clear idea of what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm afraid to make any more mistakes but I know that just sitting here is a huge mistake too!

1. I wasted a lot of money and time because I never understood how online businesses really work and make money. Like Twitter! Twitter seems like a great idea to me except now I've done a little research and I realize that they created something insanely popular without ever considering how to monetize it.

My 'original' business idea was like Twitter and I didn't understand that making something awesome, and hopefully popular, doesn't translate to being a gajillionaire. (Not that it's my goal, but you see what I mean.)

2. I want a BUSINESS not a stupid pass-through money-making scheme. I guess that explains why all those guys are obsessed with SEO. When you're doing something that is 'faceless' and replaceable by the next guy with a tricked out "Prada purse" page, then you HAVE to be #1 on Google.

3. Yes, I think conversion rates and pay-per-click is important...an important tool. I don't think PPC is a business but people treat it that way.

4. I want the whole picture. I feel like I've been seeing pieces of the online business puzzle, but I can't seem to get it all in one coherent picture. Is it because everyone is so protective of their niches? I just don't know but I feel like I'm expected to have this background information that I just don't have.

That's basically it. That's why I'm putting my faith (and time and money) into Project Mojave.

Re: Winners of the Project Mojave Contest . . . A Video on What the Hell Project Mojave IS (And a Bunch of Other Stuff)

Hayden Tompkins — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:04:53 -0000

Congratulations Tim and Charlotte!