Ok, now for a bit of a critique. You started getting really interesting and emphatic with your voice in all the appropriate places starting with the story about the dept of social services and their files. That's when the stories SOUNDED really interesting to me. The speech before that wasn't bad, but needed more animation in your voice. Also, towards the beginning you rushed and jumbled a few words here and there, so you may want to clean that up. Again, I didn't hear any of that starting with the social services story and on to the end. Let me know if you need me to be more specific. Good luck baby!