DISQUS

thought i addressed that (in the blog entry) here:
"If she has thrown things before, she will throw them again."
and here:
"No matter what is said or done, no one should ever be hitting anybody"
and here:
"There is no abuser or victim profile"
and by keeping a gender non-descript tone. I don't care who did what. I am not on anyone's side. I am not interested in who started it. HITTING IS NEVER THE ANSWER. (Though I will say, for someone who was hit himself, he certainly showed up to court looking unscathed).
I do appreciate your passion for knowing the truth in this matter. For me, the story doesn't matter. My bottom line is. Don't hit. If you hit, seek help now. If you've been hit. Seek help now. Insanity = doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Let's not go over and over and over this. The answer is clear - any DV is wrong. Get involved if you know about it. Reach out to help. We have got to get this out of our systems our families and our communities.

you all over the place, dude!

this story continues to sadden me. the cycle is playing out in national headlines, on tv and the internet. first thing he says: seeking the help of my pastor and loved ones. Do they have domestic violence training and anger management expertise? if not, it's a waste of time. then, of course, the reconciliation. "I'm sorry, baby." "Me, too." "I love you." "I can't live without you." Forgive me?" "Of course." This is until the next time. who knows if this is what was said or if they actually reconciled? either way, this story has played out 100.657 million times before (at least). they are no different. they need help. and i hope they get it.

love the idea ... a few questions ... is it a good idea to legalize mind-altering drugs? the issue isn't an individual's "sober" choice, it's the choices they make after they are hallucinating, or on some other psychedelic trip. don't get me wrong, i am all for legalizing marijuana (and prostitution while we are at it. let's clean it up, regulate and tax it, and get rid of the subculture). but that's because there are more daily alcohol-related deaths than yearly marijuana-related ones. heroin, meth and other highly addictive drugs ... whole other monsters. anything that takes 18 months to get off of in a treatment facility, and has to be stepped down using ANOTHER controlled substance, probably shouldn't be up for grabs.

the "cycle of poverty" (poverty is poison; it has a psychological effect on our children) must definitely be heeded. and it's that cycle of poverty that necessitates the "degrading welfare system" you mention. the socio-economically challenged will always choose one of two cultures, the mainstream if they can fit, or the underground. welfare is an underground. for many (not all) it's where you go when the cycle of poverty has swung around over and over until you feel hopeless. it's like getting rid of affirmative action without having secured equal opportunity AND access. we can't expect behavior that has not been taught. so yes, this is where education comes in, and educating our young (headstart, accredited daycares, etc). in the meantime, there are thousands upon thousands of us who need a little more than a kick in the pants. if i'm 18+ and responsible for myself yet have no skills and no one wants to hire me, what do i do?

spring 2009: http://www.tracyreese.com/c_tr09rwspring.html

quite frankly, i avoided science like the plague. didn't have to take one in college because of high school credits. but, i fully agree. embracing ways to pursue "knowledge ... questions, to critique, to hypothesize, to measure, to evaluate, to interpret" is how we free ourselves. i see that in many arenas. limited thinking on any topic is dangerous (science, religion, ethics, finances) - the ignorance may be bliss, but it's also shackling. thx for the post!

this is perfection. MAD timely! thx, dude!

for me, living a healthy lifestyle, working out, eating well, getting good sleep is a part of my spiritual walk. my spiritual self may not be as strong and nourished as it could be if my blood pressure, cholesterol, BMI, and heart rate aren't on point. the body is a temple, and it appreciates routine maintenance. thanks, J!

that's a critical, Lisa. Just knowing what we want and being open and honest about that. I wonder if many of us do that. Prepare and plan and have an intention behind sharing ourselves and our bodies that way. I think otherwise we can find ourselves experiencing hurt, disgust, regret, confusion, addiction, etc.

my opinion has changed somewhat since writing this. i don't believe that anything we do with our physical body can separate us from our True Selves, and Divinity. But, I do think that some of our choices are evidence of lack of alignment with our True Selves and the Divinity of others.

also, it's important for women and men. I find that both gay and straight-identifying males and females experiencing discomfort after sharing themselves this way without purpose, clarity and sense of their worth. Straight-identifying women just get the wrap. And, probably just because you all are willing to talk about it more. so thanks :)

I've spent 27+ years judging people and doling out rules for what to do and how to live. I've spent that time being right and having neat, black-letter prescriptions for what every one else should be doing. Now? There is not time enough in the day to know if what somewhat else is doing is wrong, with all the cleansing and perfecting of myself yet to do.

The first dream I remember is coming home from vacation and dropping my suitcase down in front of the door of my room. When I opened it, "Satan" (who, in my view now, does not exist in form) popped out and when I looked down into the suitcase there was the fiery pit of hell. I could not have been more than 4 or 5. Now? There is no way I will participate in stories and ideas that would make a child of mine have that kind of dream.

And then I remember later wondering if every person in some tribe or jungle in Africa or Brazil would go to hell if some evangelical or missionary didn't go deliver a Bible and salvation. Now? God is really probably imperceptible. Can't really be intellectualized. God must be felt. Anybody choosing peace, love and forgiveness is experiencing God. There is no mistaking it. Bible, Koran, Zen master or not.

The conversion? Jesus can no more save someone than he can eat for someone. His example (fulfilling the law, aligning with, his words, "the Father within") is what saves (or better, frees) me from the lure of desire, judgment, compulsion and stuff. Same with Krishna, Buddha, Ramana or anyone else. Being the example. Being the difference. Being the love. Being the non-judgment. Jesus said I'd do the same things ... BEING that stuff, not memorizing rules and pointing fingers, is how. Hell or Heaven is in my mind. And, it is right now. There is no dichotomous good or evil, there is only perception. God is not peaceful or loving. God is the peace and the love itself. Not a man in the sky doling out treats occasionally and according to deeds. And this is true for me and me alone. I cannot say what spiritual experience is right for someone else.

I have found that the extent to which I don't judge others is the extent to which I don't judge myself. The extent to which I allow other people's opinions, needs, desires, and their very selves, to be free, is the extent to which I am free. In order to imprison someone (in order for them to be "wrong") I have to be there watching and holding the chain. Believing in their awfulness, instead of their likeness and similarity to God (perfection, love, light) and kinship to me. I am "tied" to their misdeed as much as they are. No mas!

Life is very simple. So is God. Either we are experiencing love or choosing a (seeming) opposite (like fear, judgment, hate, violence, greed, dejection, doubt, confusion, lack - God is not and can never be any of these things).
Either God is all good all the time, or not. Either God is All Power (omnipotent), All Presence (omnipresent) and All Knowing (omniscient) or not. There is no duality. There is perception. There is wrong-thinking based on human choice and will, but the only "evil" is not acting from my innate divinity. The only wrong is when my actions, choices or thoughts miss the mark ("sin" means missing the mark). When I "repent" (or, turn away from the errors in judgment and poor choices) my "salvation" (or the remembrance of my wholeness in GOD) just IS. God never stops being love or peace or light or good or salvation or freedom. I choose something different. If I am made in the image and likeness of God, then my God-liness is ready to BE. But I must choose it.

I'm an ex-Baptist. It has taken 28 years to undo my condemnation mentality... and it has made all the difference. All I see is good. All there is, in my view, is the potential to see God realized everywhere and in everyone.

This read was a pleasure! Welcome!

ps ... the commercials are tacky, obvious, condescending and insulting. but, no one is doing anything about it but being susceptible to this all and most other media. so what do you do? applaud mcdonald’s for being able to take advantage and disrespect the art form and the audience and make money. we let them do it.

$10 bucks it's either Tydis or Ben One.

what i like about this list is it focuses on what we want: more diversity, more goodwill, more brains. the more we focus on what's going right, the more we'll get!

thanks for the replies. love is beautiful, when we get ourselves (expectations, fears, etc) out of the way. let's do it.

not a woman, but got turned on to kettle bells during a"bootcamp" class a few years ago. look forward to hearing more about that. welcome!!!!!!

this made my day :)

typically, i go to metacritic.com, see what the consensus opinion of movies or music are and determine if it's worth my $. especially if it's not some one like Beyonce who is an automatic purchase. I read about the use of the vocoder and i was concerned that heartless and love lockdown sounded similar. but, i really dig the comparison you made, and it makes it make more sense. and it drastically increases the chances i check it out.

got my vote!

u betta do it!

So for you, Mr.Rex, you feel personally attacked, at least in terms of your faith. and since you are a part of the "majority" on this issue, you feel the minority should take a back seat.
Your faith, and the institution of marriage as it pertains to you, your church and perhaps your family isn't affected by someone else's marriage. gays marry in MA, CT, Canada, South Africa, Belgium, Spain, Norway and the Netherlands and i am not aware of anything, anyone, or any church being destroyed.

as a black gay man the irony is not lost on me that members of my own (biological) family voted against my interests. it's not that i blame blacks or latinos. look, we were duped. a black candidate guaranteed record turnout of minority voters. the same minority voters who routinely come out in favor of these kinds of initiatives and were even willing to vote for Bush (against every other of their interests, mostly, except gay marriage) in 2004. We think "Men on Film," "Garry's 'T'" (Ricky Smiley show), other caricatures, our hairdressers, music ministers, hell, ministers, dressmakers, authors, all these people who entertain us or make the enjoyment of our entertainment increase, we love them in that capacity. but not when it's time to come down off the stage and eat at the same table. sound familiar?

here is where I could use information. I don't remember being taught about any kind of marriage in school. Are you aware of where, at what age, and in what context marriage is being taught at all, let alone gay marriage? And, I am also curious, how do we teach a child acceptance and try to shield them from all the places and persons for whom that will be required. The research on this topic and child development is clear. Children are very resilient. When you teach them: "mommy and daddy are together, but some kids have mommy and mommy or daddy and daddy. It is different than you and most of your friends. Sometimes people won't like it, because it is different from what we see all the time. As for this family, we believe everyone deserves respect and kindness." the notion that children will be "protected" because gays can't marry pretends gays are going to stop being in public as couples, other students in their class are going to stop having gay parents and gays are just going to disappear. So, instead of taking that teaching moment to build future Obamas and Nancy Pelosis and Al Gores and Deval Patricks, we'll build more Sarah Palins and Donnie McClurkins who tolerate us, at best, or "war" against us. Again, choice. War or peace?

for so many of us, we have learned that homosexuality is wrong. a choice. unnatural. unbiblical. abominable. that is valid and true for a large portion of us. when people cast those votes they really thought they were protecting children and an institution. and that reality has to be accepted on some level, because it was the reality for those individuals. those are noble reasons to cast a vote. i don't think it is a deficiency of any one person. it's a lack of knowledge and understanding.

there is another reality. no one can point to any appreciable, scientific, research accepted by the field that suggests homosexuality is a choice. neither can they point to any evidence that homosexuality poses a risk to children. There is no scientifically accepted research to suggest any maladaptive disorders or maladjustment of children raised by gay parents or who "learn" about homosexuality. Homosexual parents do not produce homosexual children. If that logic followed, there should be no homosexuality since, presumably, all children are born to heterosexual men and women. there is no scientifically accepted research to suggest that gays are disproportionately represented among child sex offenders. In fact, over 90% of child molesters are heterosexual white men. Pedophilia, it turns out, is not a predictor or indicator of adult sexual orientation. It is entirely separate.

I know this because I have been in the same room as the foremost authority on child development (from the University of Oxford) and the foremost authority on pedophilia (from Johns Hopkins). The information is available. But, everyone doesn't have that information.

still, simpler than scientific research, simpler than fora and panels is the fact that day-to-day, moment-to-moment we have a choice: peace or no peace?
when i am pointing my finger and judging, i have noticed i am not feeling peace at the same time. in fact it's the farthest thing from my mind. when i am making someone wrong about something they are doing, i am not feeling love. i am not even remembering to, and i am starting to see judgment and love can't exist in the same place.

instead, when i am connecting to the innate goodness of the person next to me, when i am responding with compassion and the understanding i don't know everything, and i can't know his walk, my defenses are down, my mind and heart are open, and i respond with generosity. even when i don't agree. it would be impossible for me to agree with everyone about everything. however, it is not impossible to remember every one of us is made in the image and likeness of God and innately good. when i focus on that, i never meet a stranger. i never meet an "other." how can i love and expect good treatment from Being i can't see, and not express genuine, unconditional love to the hundreds i see every day?

a friend reminded me recently that people tortured, beat and killed Jesus. Someone else who in the pursuit of love and peace challenged convention and rigid, calculating fundamentalism. she said "if it happened to HIM, then some shit is bound to come our way." My gift to those who think gays might deserve legal and perhaps other harm is peace. My gift (and thanks) to those like nikkicutie5, fredric and the JDs of the world choosing love more and more, is also peace. in the face of Pharisees and those who would see any person harmed for some perceived difference, I must still be the change i want to see. WE must still be the change we want to see in this world. We must be, find, and pursue peace.

hell is described in scripture, among other things, as a place of weeping and gnashing of teeth. that's what i hear. talk radio, pundits, comments to this blog entry. gnashing of teeth. many of my spiritual leaders teach that heaven and hell are here on earth. which experience are we creating finding ways to separate and vilify one another? please, someone tell me how to judge someone and love them at the same time. seriously, try it. judge someone AND feel unconditional love. we cannot contribute to someone we are making wrong, or making an outsider or making a sinner. love one another. i think that includes governments. love one another. i think that includes someone whose "lifestyle" you don't agree with (how come it's ok to strip rights from homosexuals, but not liars, adulterers, or people who eat pork, or adulterers who eat pork and lie). love one another. i think that includes legislation, and not a market system that perpetuates poverty and inequality. my job is not to determine who is "right" or "wrong" my job is to perfect the Christ within me, and to love to the fullest extent possible. I feel fairly certain that if we all turned inward to do that, we would find less separation. we would find less opportunity to point out the spec in the eyes of others, knowing what could be found in our own. it is impossible to look at your neighbor, and behold that they TOO are made in the image and likeness of God and treat him or her like a second class citizen. how can we love God, who cannot see, but not love every single person we meet, black or white, tall or thin, democrat or republican?

the task and the call are quite simple: love, peace. It was one of Jesus' many gifts to us. There is no way to peace. Peace is the way*! There is no finding love. Love is the way! Set aside your heavy garments: judgment, fear, anger. The kingdom of heaven is upon us. Are we choosing heaven, or are we weeping and gnashing our teeth?

* title of a text by Deepak Chopra

Vote because the Supreme Court makes more decisions that affect our everyday lives than the President, and up to three of the Justices will likely retire within the next four years.