DISQUS

So, just the fact that different cultures have differences in their views of marriage means that marriage is unnatural? You’re really reaching there. What about the fact that, oh, it just so happens that every culture has some concept of marriage? Sure, some may allow plural marriages whereas others are monogamous, but they still see a value in marriage.

I should have said "our (Western, Christian) form of marriage." You are right, marriage, in some form, is common around the world.

Originally Posted By Derek

Marriage, with the exception of a few pockets of polygamy, is essentially the same all over the world these days. Yes, it hasn't always been a man and a woman, and yes before it was more about a property exchange than about love, but what I find really interesting, is that since the 1960's there have been plenty of people who have challenged the idea of marriage being natural. But it's never really caught on. Something like 90% of people will get married in their life....Christian people, Muslim people, agnostic people, atheist people. Do they get married just because society expects them to? No, I think people naturally want to be paired off exclusively with another person. The greatest evidence of this is the gay marriage movement. If any sub-culture could have chucked marriage as being unnatural and simply opted for long-term relationships without that label, it would have been the gay community. But gays want to get married too. Again, I think it's the most natural thing in the world to to be paired off with someone exclusively, to want a loyal partner for life and to make it official.

Derek, there is more than just a "few pockets of polygamy." Most (yes, most) societies in the world are polygamous.

From Wikipedia:

According to the Ethnographic Atlas Codebook, of the 1231 societies noted, 186 were monogamous. 453 had occasional polygyny, 588 had more frequent polygyny, and 4 had polyandry.

Less than 1/5 are monogamous.

Do they get married just because society expects them to? No, I think people naturally want to be paired off exclusively with another person.

Yes, I would say that most people do get married either because:
a) ...society expects them to. Look at all the arranged marriages around the world. Perhaps the reason why these cultures have arranged marriages is that they know people might not get married without them
b) ...economic incentive. This normally only applies to women getting married.
b) ...children. Probably the worst form of raising a child is from a single parent (I know this might offend some people). Most cultures involve a number of people to raise children including parents and grandparents and other extended family members and friends. Most cultures believe that children are best raised by many people.

Gays and lesbians generally want to be able to get married for legal/financial reasons.

Originally Posted By cory huff
Sherwin, again, see the Rutgers University stats on marriage. Men who are married generally see their incomes increase after they are married and reduce high risk health behaviors after marriage.

The unfortunate, knee-jerk reaction by modern men to marriage is really too bad. If people would take a look at the evidence instead of listening to what is popular, then this wouldn't be an issue.

For what it's worth, I was married at 21, my wife was 19, and we're going on 7 years married. I'm wealthier now than I was then, we're both healthier (I exercise more and eat better), and our sex life is amazing.

Again, people are confusing cause and effect. You are earning more money now because you have more experience in your job. It does not have anything to do with the fact that you are married. Take a 21 year old and compare him to a 30 year old in the same industry - 99 times out of 100, the 30 year old will be making more money.

Also, that Rutgers University site is clearly biased towards pro-marriage. Not that that's wrong - just something to keep in mind when reading their research.

Back to the article. It makes a good case for marriage but we have to realise that marriage is different all over the world.

What does this mean?

It tells us that marriage is not a natural thing. It is cultural and often based on religion. So since marriage is not natural, it is unreasonable to expect that getting married would be the best scenario for everybody.

I disagree with points 3 and 4. I do programming which requires a lot of focus and concentration. If I try to stay late and finish something up I will not feel as fresh and clear minded for the next few days. I also do not think about problems outside of work because if I let the problem go for an evening, then I magically discover the solution upon returning to work the following morning (seriously).

I believe there is only so much focused work a person can do in a day without burning out and once you pass that point, you need extra rest to make up for it.

"But in all seriousness, I have actually read scholarly articles on competitive sports that make some very interesting points about men and women being on par with one another, but separated for no accountable reason."

Give me a break Sky. Academia likes to say a lot of things that don't transfer over to the real world. Have you seen the performance of the women who have tried to compete with men at auto racing, golf and ice hockey (only goalies as far as I know).

You also don't seem to be for equality when you say that women should be allowed to compete with men. As we have seen in the media, if girls are allowed to play in a boys league, that is equality. If boys are allowed to play in a girls league, that is unfair.

Advice is a funny thing.

Nearly everyone thinks that the path they are on in life is the one "right" path and all others should follow their path if they want to achieve happiness. This line of thought is clearly seen in the original post and by some of the commenters.

Giving out advice in this manner does not benefit anyone. The advisor only justifies his life and choices to himself and declares how he is superior to others who choose not to follow the same path as him.

I agree with the commenter Steve. Knowing something and doing something with that knowledge are two completely different things.

I would say most kids anywhere are stupid about personal finance because they have rarely had experience with receiving a paycheque, paying taxes, using credit, etc.

Stupid here doesn't mean lack of book knowledge but lack of experience.

It is interesting that so many women commenters freely give advice on what men should do as if they understood what it is to be a man.

In fact, this isn't all that difference from feminism. Feminists have an abundance of opinions on how to make men better.

Listening to women about being a man is the reason why a "menaissance" is needed now.

Ladies, men would much rather take advice from a strong male role model than a "strong independant woman" about what it is to be a man.

Unfortunately, with so many bastard children being raised by single mothers, this problem will most likely continue until we find a way to re-establish strong families as the norm in our society.

In many cultures a woman is shamed for having children out of wedlock (excluding widows). There is a connection between the confusion among the sexes and the decline of strong families.

Excellent article. My line of thought mirrors yours. I'm 26 and my goal is to retire in 5 years. Why? Because I think my talents are wasted doing computer programming for 8 hours of my day. I know I could be doing much more for the world if I could free up those 40 hours per week and invest it into something more valuable.

I don't have a family yet but also want to financially free by the time I start one so I can be there for my future children when they're growing up.

Good article. I'm sure you'll achieve your goals.

If you think America is bad for wanting to get into good colleges, you should talk to someone from Hong Kong. There the cycle starts by parents being worried if their child is getting into a good enough pre-school!