Disqus - Latest Comments for noShitWFP

Re: On swine flu, books and Joe Elderberry

Stephen Glanville — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 19:02:23 -0000

Hi Kate :-)

Glad you're feeling better...hope the hair catches up soon :-)

Just popped in to wish you a merry Christmas :-)

Happy thoughts to you and all that you love...

Cheers

Stephen G

Re: EVIL PLAN

Stephen Glanville — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 04:24:08 -0000

Damn Kate! That's a whopper! :-)

You're right...musta taken ages to write :-)

Can't fault it though ;-)

Cheers

Stephen G

Re: Is it always illegal to slap politicians with fish?

Stephen Glanville — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 12:53:47 -0000

PS Oh! Sorry, I neglected to respond to "Weird little airport souvenir things?"

Just a random association. I wondered, given that you had been interested enough in something like getting 'glumpy' into an Urban Dictionary, that you might also be one of those strangely anonymous folk that buy those little useless souvenirs that are often found in airports and franchised service stations? :-)

You know how there are always bazillions of them on the shelves but you never actually see anyone buy one? :-P

Like those frosted Jesus Iconic Clocks. Bluddy awful things...but they are for sale in the weirdest places; so they must sell...but have you ever seen anyone buy one? I haven't. Just like I've never met anyone wots akshully poot a werd in a Dicshunairy. ;-)

Cheers

Stephen G

Re: From the Guardian and Manet, to drunken freshers and spooky kids

Stephen Glanville — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 22:36:28 -0000

Hi Kate :-)

Yep! Headaches gone :-)

Re: Melbourne: I don't even know if Neighbours is a real street? Nor if it is even in Melbourne?...I don't watch it. From the little I have seen of it, I'd say it's fairly typical of urban sprawl, but not at all representative of the character of our cities...especially Melbourne :-P I get embarrassed that Neighbours is one of our exports. I don't think it represents our people at all well...do you folks feel accurately and/or honourably represented by Coronation Street? :-P

Actually, I was born and grew-up (used metaphorically), in Newcastle (approx. 160ks North of Sydney). I now live near Canberra, in the beautiful Snowy Mountains :-)

Yeh! The 'flat' thing is seemingly a biological with me...I can appreciate flat places, just don't like living in them. You know what they say about Mountain Men...? :-P

Re: France: Already well tempted...but I look forward to your pics and stories :-)

Your ol' York chap sounds like he'd fit the bill nicely :- )

Cheers

Stephen G

Re: Is it always illegal to slap politicians with fish?

Stephen Glanville — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 21:42:12 -0000

Hi Kate :-)

Thanks for your kind and engaging replies :-)

Oh, and apologies for the typos...I hope Spike (our beloved 'Grammar Nazi'), is not blowing a gasket...he'd have me doing deep-breathing exercises in an Aluminium Smelter if he saw that post :-P

Re: Van Diemen's Land - Technically you are correct (http://bit.ly/BBkXB), it originally and specifically referred to what is now called Tasmania (oh and if you ever go there, we call the locals 'Tasmaniacs' :-P )...then it became part of New South Wales...so I was using it with it's urban/cultural connotation and more for poetic effect.

Don't you just love commenting on bluddy Writer's blogs? Dot this, cross that, that's you not how you use a bluddy apostrophe... Hehe! :-P

"...they're also compulsory if you want to buy Kenny Rogers' cds or watch Top Gear." LOL! Excellent! :-) I love Top Gear...but have you seen the Australian Version? GOD IT'S CRAP! I simply can't watch it! Guys! What the bluddy hell were you thinkin'? Who approved this appalling...Oh! Hang on! I just got it! This is Jeremy Clarkson's version of the 'Bagpipes' isn't it? Bastard! :-P Well, the joke's on you mate...you should be embarrassed to have the 'Top Gear' title associated with the watered-down, half-arsed effort down here...You don't see Kyle Sandilands doing 'Naked Chef' down here do you?

Omen was banned in the UK. Geez! And I thought we were anal dags? :-P

"I'm sure they make up ever more ridiculous ideas for a dare": I wish I could LOL at that one, but I know from my own experience, that it's true :-/

Thanks again Kate...always a pleasure...

Cheers

Stephen G

Re: From the Guardian and Manet, to drunken freshers and spooky kids

Stephen Glanville — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 12:06:53 -0000

Hi Kate :-)

And you did that with a headache?!!! :-P I'll have to tell Spike. Headaches as a writer's block remedy?...Excellent! He might add it to his Freelance Writer's Toolkit...ay-bluddy-mazing! :-P

I'm gunna go and bang my head against a wall right now...oh hang on, I've been doing that all week jousting with Telcos & Gov't Service Providers and, and, and, and...seems I may have had a headache for so long I don't notice anymore :-P

Don't let embryonic geeks put you off Melbourne though Kate...but if you do go, don't go for a holiday...go for a sabbatical. You have to be there for long enough for it to soak. There are some that consider it the 'Writer's Capital'.

I lived there for a couple of years and loved it. Bazillions of second hand bookshops that you can smell from the street...sandstone cafes that are only 10 feet wide, but they go for 200 feet up fig encrusted wobbly, cobbled staircased hillsides, with little galleries and studios studded randomly either side, wafted with the smell of coffee, oil paints, old books and honey-suckle, stirred into smoky spirals, so they're not mixed, just swirled...

And I don't know what it's like over your neck o' the woods, but in Melbourne folks use parks like their lounge rooms...they live in them...there's always something interesting and creative happening for free in Melbourne...it's unlike any other 'Osstraalyun' city.

The only reason I can't live there for a long time is that it's too flat and the sky is a bit pale for me...so is the sun. But I s'pose that's only 'cause I grew up on the coast North of Sydney. Mountains, bright blue sky and Ocean everywhere...

I love Canberra even better...high up in the mountains, with the bluest sky you've ever seen...and where I am, it's only about 75klm from the Ocean (as the crow flies)...right near the edge of the range where it drops down to the coastal plain...so we get the afternoon sea mist and the smell of the ocean...pretty neat.

Geez, I just read what I wrote and it sounds like a bad travel brochure...no I'm not bucking for a job with Australian Tourism :-)...I just love certain bits...

My idea of romance is getting plastered on cheap Port and coffee that dissolves your spoon, at 10 o'clock in the morning with Henry Miller, Herman Hesse, Jorge Louis Borges and Franz Kafka in a sidewalk Cafe in Dadaist France...never been there, but I can smell it when I read about it...

My idea of University has always been sitting under a big ol' tree with an old grumpy person that thinks everyone else are idiots...

Anyway...it seems that randomness it pleasantly contagious...

Thanks for the great headache...I mean post :-)

Cheers

Stephen G

Re: Is it always illegal to slap politicians with fish?

Stephen Glanville — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 19:54:44 -0000

Hi Kate,

You got 'glumpy' in the urban dictionary?!!!! LOL :-) I've always wondered who those amazing people are that take the time to do that stuff...and now I've met one :-)...well, virtually :-) ...I'm tipping my hat and bowing slightly 'Muscateer-equely' :-)

It's just one of those things that quite fascinates me when I hear of it, yet once the fascination passes, it's just not on my radar at all. Perhaps I might be a good candidate for your first 'How to get a new word into the Dictionary Workshop'?...we could do fire-walking to build up our courage and have group hugs and everything...? :-P

Hang on!...You haven't got a garden shed full of those weird little airport souvenir thingies that nobody could possibly want to buy, have you? ;-P

Don't forget, good ol' 'Van Diemen's Land' is one, if not THE ,sole surviving actual offspring of 'der Mutherlund'. If you look at what you folks have and add 3 bucket of 'try-hard' and a couple of truck-loads of 'Mummy, what's this for?....Why but?", you'd be astonished at the similarities. Including Mullets...down here they are fish and also, bad '70s hairdos...actually I think you have to have one to drive a V8? :-P

You're not old enough make an association like that with Robert Mitchum...are you? LOL :-)

Down here we've got wonderfully wise laws like - it's illegal to buy a bong, but it's legal to sell them. So your PM Prevention Legislation would have to be feasible...and to think we pay taxes for such shite? :-P

Always a pleasure Kate...thanks again :-)

Cheers

Stephen G

Re: Is it always illegal to slap politicians with fish?

Stephen Glanville — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 04:50:52 -0000

You've done it again Kate..."Thesping". Excellent! :-) I bet the fish reckon that's a typo and are scratchin' their Brandied noggins trying to figure out what a 'sping' is? :-)

Butt almost seriously...Surely, there's a loop-hole? Surely it can't be illegal to slap a haddock with politician? The only problem might be that a politician is likely a bit harder to get a grip on...?

But look at him...he's so cute. We don't have such appealing fish down here in 'would be if we could be' & 'it's my turn to wear mummies shoes' land. We just have Mullets...bluddy great big schools of 'em that just seem to swim in circles and eat each other's babies. So perhaps not so different after all? :-)

Maybe your chappies are printing their new 'Fix Britain' campaign T-Shirts (with no arms) as we speak...with the slogan - "Get over it by Wednesday!"

Until recently I was a Community Carer...when the mob I worked for wanted to print T-Shirts they made the nearly fatal mistake of asking me for a suggestion. I suggested "I see nearly dead people!" :-P My clients loved it...but the boffins caught themselves laughing, then suddenly and very appropriately frowned...go figure? :-P

I remember a bit of graffiti from Uni dunni I visited in the early 80's. A recent PM of our's name was Malcolm (he's since become a human). His wife's name was Tammy. The graffiti read as follows:

"Dear Malcolm, do to me what you're doing to my country, only slower"

Funny the things that stick in our minds? :-P

Thanks Kate...great post, once again :-)

Cheers

Stephen G

Re: After the Storm

Stephen Glanville — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 10:18:45 -0000

Coming from you Sir that's high praise...I'm honoured :-)

Glad to here you know 'The Spikester'...we all love our 'Grammar Nazi' :-)

I'm confident you'll find fuel in the others :-)

Cheers

Stephen G

Re: After the Storm

Stephen Glanville — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 09:53:08 -0000

A planet breathes in through the morning and exhales through the evening...a country does it just a little quicker and the storm just a breath quicker again...and that quiet moment when the storm has passed is in between breathes...like the still before the dawn when we hold ours in anticipation of a rising sun and a new breath.

Damn Jan (hey that rhymes ;-), you certainly do turn a fine breeze...

Many thanks...I'll be back.

Here's a couple of folks I also frequent for their fonts fair - @spikethelobster (and his great commenters at The Scrawlbug (http://www.scrawlbug.com), & @katesblog (http://cheekyfrog.me.uk/), & @PaulHassing (http://thegamebook.wordpres.... Good folks, great & all very different writers...

Cheers

Stephen G

Re: From the Hounds of Hell to topiary

Stephen Glanville — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 23:55:49 -0000

Hi Kate :- )

Ooh! Threaded Comments! It's my first time with them too (on a Blog anyway :- )...I feel like I should be a bit more dressed-up...hang-on. There, I put my hat on :- )...at least adds a little authenticity :- )

Well, thanks Kate...what a lovely welcome...and of course you are most welcome too...:-)

I love Dogs...I get on far better with animals than with 'yooomuns' ;-P

If I may be so bold as to offer a couple of suggestions that work for me:

Dogs are telepathic. Rather than going off at him in your head, get to know him, and when you feel you have some rapport, give him a job. 'Secure the Perimeter' is a good one, or 'Kill the Pillows' (only use that if you don't particularly like your neighbours :-P).

And each time you walk past their apartment just say g'day and tell him "Good Job...enough now, take a break" (You might want to save the "take a break" bit for when you are returning home from being out ;- P). I would suggest thinking this more often than actually saying it...though it is important to back-up your telepathy with words and actions when possible :- )...I hope you are in tears laughing by now :- )...I know it's a bit of a cack, but try it :- P

Like us Dogs need a job. No, not a 'get a haircut 'n a job' job!... a real job, a purpose. In my view dogs are the literal embodiment of Kahlil GIbran's fine definition for 'Work' - i.e. "Work is love made visible". Like us they get depressed and do 'roolly' weird things to compensate...like barking incessantly.

Most importantly when dealing with dogs, and this pretty much goes for any animal and hopefully one fine day with people as well, YOU HAVE TO MEAN IT! :- ) As you probably already know, there is no lying to animals...they see straight though it...or they just don't see it all. So make sure you mean it :- )

Ok! Well that's ask 'Aunty Wanka' for another week. Please tune in again next week when we learn how to train your very own Mosquito Armada...;- P

Cheers

Stephen G

Re: From the Hounds of Hell to topiary

Stephen Glanville — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 13:15:11 -0000

Oops! Typo...Last line of 2nd last para:

"...and they are little..." - should read - '...and they are NOT little...' :-p

Cheers

Stephen G again
still from good ol' 'Osstraalya' ;- )

Re: From the Hounds of Hell to topiary

Stephen Glanville — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 13:09:50 -0000

Hi Kate & Folks :- )

My first time...I have to agree with Trish & vene2ia Kate...such infectious inflections...I was right...it's just you...or more accurately You Just :- )

I'm not inclined to take dreams too literally...though I'd be interested to see whether or not you start moving your furniture around in the coming weeks (Topiary - shaping your environs? :-P)...or suddenly get the urge to redecorate...perhaps painting a nearby road with something in a shade of dog? ;-)

You don't know any large angry cats with a penchant for lock-picking do you?

I hate to throw a big fat damper on such an agreeable group, but over here on the other side of the Planet, things can get a bit topsy-turvey. Especially where I live.

I'm happy to say that I live high up in the Mountains about an hour away from Canberra. This wonderful little ex-mining village, now boasting a whopping 574 people is called Captains Flat. It's named after the lead Bull from one of the original bullock-teams. His name was Captain and he was something of a Houdini...no matter what the human inventions, they could not assuage his intentions to escape to greener pastures. They invariably found him down on a little patch next to the river, locally referred to as 'The Flat'...hence the name.

When I describe my lovely mountain home to them-thar smog-suckin' city slickers, I describe it as follows:

Good ol' Captains Flat, where everyone can hear you scream but only the dogs care...:- P

And the little ones merely set the tempo as the 987 or so large ones trump all comers. I remember the day I first came out here. I got out of the car and it sounded like a K9 Kathedral. They have their little conference call about 4 times per day. But there are a couple of unfortunately sad and lonely dogs that simply bark because they don't know what else to do...and they are little...

Come to think of it, it may be a better option to introduce it's humans to the pulsating steamroller...and if that doesn't work, then it's off to Nottinghamshire for a good dose of WMHDs I reckon.

Nice post Kate...Thanks :- )

Cheers

Stephen G
from Osstraalya ;- P