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kenyanott • 6 years ago

Yeah, no. Obviously what Sean did is reprehensible, but you planning some sort of wilding is equally disturbing. Justify it however you like, but you sound like a very disturbed person with violent friends. I want men who assault women to suffer long term, not just for a week after a whooping.

ETA: This absoutely should have been anonymous.

Guest • 6 years ago
kenyanott • 6 years ago

The statue of limitations is exactly what I thought of when I read this. It's one thing that she did it. It's another that she's essentially bragging about it on the internet under her real identity. That should make getting a job super easy. If anything that decision proves she's unhinged.

Guest • 6 years ago
jaydoh • 6 years ago

It's "statute of limitations" - not a "statue". lol

Nothing about her actions disturbed me. I applaud her actions.
Sean should have had his nuts stomped. He will suffer for more than a week from it and deserves to be outed - so it absolutely should NOT have been anonymous. The trauma that he experienced from the event will stay with him - maybe not on the same level as the trauma of being raped - but how does one quantify that?

BTW - Who gives a flying fuck what employers think?

Is she looking for a job while writing this article or is she telling the truth of her story for the benefit of other rape survivors? Stop thinking about yourself - it isn't about you or your job hunt.

Guest • 6 years ago
Eduardo Mena • 6 years ago

Rape is a shame...

Guest • 6 years ago
Jill Joiner • 6 years ago

BS I say this as someone who works with sexual assault survivors. I have been seeing all your apologist and I am calling you out. https://www.rainn.org/stati.... One rape every 107 second that means one every minute forty five seconds. 1 in 4 women will be the victim of some sort of sexual assault/rape in their lifetime. So please quit being an MRA. I have 10yrs in this and 6 years in Domestic Violence.

Guest • 6 years ago
robbie • 6 years ago

lol neocon thinktank AEI in-house feminist, good call

Guest • 6 years ago
Michael Hagge • 6 years ago

You actively misrepresent data, and post multiple fallacious arguments like literally every MRA douchebag out there. And you actually think anyone outside of your garbage neocon Germergert shitshow cares about what Christina Hoff Summers says.

Your most frequented sites are The Ralph Retort and Breitbart. You're a fucking joke son.

Guest • 6 years ago
oolon • 6 years ago

Christina Hoff Sommers is a joke, calling yourself the "factual" feminist while doing exactly zero research, publishing exactly zero peer reviewed papers on the subject is not convincing.

I'm sure you know this already and think "bitches be lying", but the acknowledged standard for getting near to true crime rates is crime surveys. They all show vastly more rape than your cherry picked data. Did you miss that the woman in this story didn't report? Wouldn't show on your "stats".

Roughly 1 in 5 women sexually assaulted is a figure that has been replicated many times. http://college.usatoday.com...

When stories like this are common, it's hardly surprising. (CN for rape and police indifference to it)

adam • 6 years ago

1 in 5 women sexually assaulted is not the same thing as 1 in 5 women raped. Sexual assault can mean getting pinched on the bum in a bar. Where I live, sexual assault is legally defined as "an assault which violates the sexual integrity of the victim". An assault is defined as "applying a force without consent." In the laws where I live, there is no "rape" charge, but there is indictable (i.e. felony) and summary (i.e. misdemeanor) sexual assault, and rape would fall in the former category. Briefly touching someone's private parts over the clothes without consent is a crime. It's summary sexual assault. It's not the traumatizing event of rape. I've been touched many times without consent, so I've been sexually assaulted many times. I've never been raped. Please don't use one in a discussion of the other.

Just Me • 6 years ago

how do you know how other women might feel about being violated, even if it means just "briefly touching someone's private parts over the clothes without consent"? To some, for whatever reason, that can be just as violating as being raped. Speak for yourself, sure, but don't compare other women to you

BlackJaques • 6 years ago

Thanks Adam. Assuming you are a dude...where do you get off weighing in on sexual assault on women? If you know anything about gender differences, and power differentials you'd know that your comment about "I've been touched many times..." Means absolutely zero. By posting a comment here diminishing victims and dimissing the terms used to address sexual assault, you've likely revealed a little too much about yourself. Rape much...??

cvxxx • 6 years ago

I thin he has a real point. Men are socialized differently. The cultural indoctrination is different. He relates that he was sexually assaulted but men are not supposed to complain. Culturally in the US generally this is true there is no permission to rage or requirement to feel the intensity that a female in this culture is conditioned to.
That said it is impossible to truly emotionally comprehend how another feels. If you felt that way it is not necessarily how another feels in similar circumstances. A male cannot feel as a female does.

oolon • 6 years ago

You didn't even bother looking to see what they define as sexual assault! They also give figures for rape in there as well ... Maybe you should go read the study you are criticising?

Angryleopardseal • 6 years ago

"Replicated many times" If you follow that link, it will lead you to one (1) study, which had a 19.3% response rate and spends a couple paragraphs inadequately trying to handwave the response bias as unimportant.

oolon • 6 years ago

That was a replication of the study that people claim is "flawed", weird how these "biases" you are sure are there continue to produce roughly the same results regardless of response rate!

Tamar Lalenya • 6 years ago

You might consider speaking with some actual rape victims since you have studied every available piece of data you could find to support your argument. Why don't you try volunteering with some actual abused women? Maybe add some humanity to all of these statistics you are spouting ad nauseum. (Which, btw, I clicked and what I read there actually contradicted your argument.) Trolling xoJane about how rape isn't as big of a problem as we think it is helps not a single person who has been raped nor prevents rape.

Guest • 6 years ago
Missbeanz • 6 years ago

Lmao! Where is this government study? Please, let me see it.

Alex Stern • 6 years ago

Your 10 years of experience with this virtually guarantees that every thought you have has some internal connection with sexual assault and rape. Why wouldn't you presume this to be omnipresent in society if your life revolves around the subject. We all make subconcious assumptions that reality in general reflects on our own personal experiences with it. You're indulging in your bias, though, and its causing you to misinform others and give misinformed advice.

Til • 6 years ago

"the fact that you're informed means I don't have to listen"


jaj2774 • 6 years ago

And there are even more cases that no one reports. He's ignorant.

Angryleopardseal • 6 years ago

Yeah, RAINN's statistics are (to put it lightly) unreliable. On the same page (right here: https://www.rainn.org/get-i... ), they put "1 in 6 women in America will be a victim of sexual assault" and "1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime." You don't need to be a genius to figure out that both can't be true. In fact, if you do the math for the raw numbers and percentages on that page, guess what? Not one of them adds up. Exactly 0 of their percentages match their number totals, which means that at least some of their data is incorrect.

LemonSloth • 6 years ago

As someone who has actually seen the source behind many of those claims, I will ask you to not promote propaganda to back your argument.

But don't take it from me, take it from a feminist:


Camilla Cracchiolo, RN • 6 years ago

Rape is one of the most, if *the* most underreported crimes. Based on statistics from rape crisis centers some where around 1% are reported in the US. Even in Scandinavian countries that have much better training in dealing with rape, about 4% are reported.

The distinction between rape and sexual assault is also disingenuous. Sexual assault is often what oral and rectal rape are classified under and today, in many states, rape with penetration of any kind is called 1st degree sexual assault.

Anonymous Female • 6 years ago

How the fuck would you know it's one of the most under-reported crimes, if it's NOT REPORTED?!

Camilla Cracchiolo, RN • 6 years ago

By comparison of rape crisis/counseling center intakes vs. Reported rapes to law enforcement.

Tamar Lalenya • 6 years ago

Solace?? Did you really just describe rape as one of the RAREST crimes committed against college students and non-college students in the US? And are you actually separating out the NON-COMPLETED rapes?? As if attempted rape is any less traumatizing?? And your solution?Let's not teach our men not to rape, let's just teach our women self-defense! Oh, and you're less likely to get raped if you go to college, so don't be uneducated!

Guest • 6 years ago
Tamar Lalenya • 6 years ago

You misquoted the data. Look at it again.

Guest • 6 years ago
Tamar Lalenya • 6 years ago

It wasn't ME that lumped them together but your precious government source that you linked to.

Guest • 6 years ago
Tamar Lalenya • 6 years ago

I asked you to show me the quote, not more links. Specifically that it is one of the rarest crimes. You can't because it's not a quote. It's your own conclusion that you came to.

Tamar Lalenya • 6 years ago

I think it's creepy as fuck that you have spent probably HOURS commenting on a women's website, specifically on an article about rape, with some argumentative posts about how rape is the rarest crime and a bunch of statistics. Show me again the direct quote where your source material says this. That it is one of the "rarest" crimes. Because I looked at your source material and couldn't find that quote anywhere. Or was it only for college students that it was the rarest crime?

Annegret Pearl • 6 years ago

I think now- more then ever- under-reporting is happening.
The internet is right there to viciously victim blame, slut-shame and abuse the wrong person in the equation.
Just imagine it was the rapist who got ripped to sheds globally instead and appropriately

Tamar Lalenya • 6 years ago

I'm breathing perfectly fine. I just can't understand why you are choosing this hill to die on. Hey LADIES!! Only 84k rapes in 2014 compared to 102k in 1990!! Woot! Let's go crack the champagne! Sure the number has gone down, but it's still over 80,000. And those are just the ones that are reported. So it's not really much solace. Sorry but it's just not.

jaj2774 • 6 years ago

Oh, that didn't make you feel safe either? I thought I was overacting.

Katie Greenslade • 6 years ago

I wasn't raped but I think what happened counts as assault before I got him to stop and it was still pretty damn traumatizing. Every time I had to look at him after that made my skin crawl, especially since I'd trusted him so much. As much as I wanted to kick his ass, I got into therapy and told every girl he had contact with instead. Some people told me that made me jealous, but I just wanted to protect other women he might try to hurt. My revenge was meeting him in public about a year later (with 20 friends scattered around) and getting to see the look in his eyes when he finally realized what he had done.

jaj2774 • 6 years ago

Most people, male, female, trans, do not report rape. To me, reported rape statistics are meaningless if people aren't reporting them. They don't have to, of course. And self defense doesn't work if someone has a gun (weapons) to their head or if they have been drugged. But nice try with your solace bit.

New Chautauqua • 6 years ago

No. Rape is an act of violence.

dangerluvr • 6 years ago

To Kenyanott and Amanda: The fact that you think she didn't think of ANY of this speaks volumes about you and how you seem to feel you're above her since you didn't beat your rapist (Amanda) and that there must be something wrong with her for exacting her own vigilante justice (Kenyanott). REMEMBER: as you said, "the internet is forever - hopefully the fact that you self identified as a rape victim doesn't bite you in the ass in 20 years."

I would wager ANYTHING I OWN on this piece being approved by an Editor of ANY women's magazine in the US, and I will again wager everything on this piece being in her portfolio that is BROUGHT to job interviews. SHAME on you both for damming her actions. She knew 100% exactly what she was doing and in the order she did it. She's not sorry, and I don't blame her - I APPLAUD HER. I applaud ANY woman who stands up and finds her voice after a traumatic situation - no matter how it's done.

And Kenyanott? To call her deeply disturbed as if you sit on your hilltop giving out the diagnoses? OF COURSE she is disturbed. She LITERALLY said that in her own article. You are SMART. SUPER SMART.

To both of you: the statutes are very easy to look up! It's 6 years. I KNOW you're about to come back with the argument of "See!? She could be charged!!!" and you forget threeeeee little things: 1. The man will NEVER come forward and press charges. NEVER. Those reasons are very simple: shame and fear. He knows what he did and he knows his punishment would be much more harsh. If he comes forward and presses charges, there will be a charge of rape on his record, and found guilty or not? That charge will be there for the rest of his LIFE. ANYONE who does a background check will see it. You HONESTLY THINK that he's going to come forward to tattle on a much deserved ass beating when he would be facing jail time, registering as a sex offender, and a LIFETIME of beatings - not cointing this one? NOPE. 2.You seem to be under the impression that there's cops who read women's blogs "just trying to catch a criminal." No, kids - it doesn't work that way. If they went to his house and ONLY said "Mr. Rapist, did you get your ass beat for raping a girl 5 years ago?" He is going to tell that officer he has no idea what they're talking about and will continue to deny it to his grave. So if the prosecution can't even produce a victim - tell me, what will they charge her with? Writing a badass story? 3. See, it's weird...the way you two talk you seem to think you know a thing or two about the legal system. Its so cute (read: ignorant)! I could sit down RIGHT NOW and penn a letter confessing to a murder with very descript details, sign my name, and walk it into the police station and hand it to the first officer I saw. Could I be charged? POSSIBLY. But they would never ever stick. See, the real world isn't like Law & Order or whatever crime show the two of you seem to be watching. Charges will NEVER be filed without enough evidence to convict. So did she just write this very powerful and amazing story on what happened to her that "could" be considered a letter of confession. Sure. BUT kids, show me the evidence that she did this. His own friends conspired to help him get his ass beat. You think the prosecution is going to get the victim to say it happened, let alone any witnesses who will testify for the defense...the friends who helped beat him???? Oh, you do? Cute. You two really should invest in an education.

TO THE WRITER: You are amazing. You are a survivor. You are blazing a path that I hope some women follow in at least some way. I know what it's like to lose your voice, and I am so happy to hear you found yours. This piece WONDERFULLY written. I applaud you on your actions - they were right for YOU; but more importantly I applaud you for finding your voice on a platform where you can help other survivors to find their voice, too. You are a true female vigilante and you are a badass. I hope this story inspires a woman who now must trudge the path you do daily.

adoreaa • 6 years ago

I don't think people understand where you're coming from. Being a rapist is shameful, and being a victim isn't, however it's how she dealt with it that will bite her in the ass. She chose to post a confession of her participation in a violent crime, rather than trying to go to the police and gather hard evidence since she wanted to avoid the discomfort that she heard of. There is now 0 evidence of her rape and 1 confession of her being violent. Now I believe her that she was raped, and I understand why she would feel averse to working with the authorities, but this clearly wasn't the best decision..

Miss Misanthropist • 6 years ago

You're disgusting too.