Barrack Obama's pledge to America at his 2017 re re-inauguration as president ~
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"My fellow citizens ~ Times are tough, but we are tougher ~ Even though the best part of over $10 Billion dollars we haven't got has been spent on eradicating the 'ISIS' threat to our great nation, these evil terrorists persist in attacking us so we must always stay on the alert ~ Just yesterday an alert WalMart employee noted 3 men of Arab appearance came into the store to buy box cutters ~ She alerted Homeland Security and another heinous terrorist plot was stopped" ~
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(Pauses for Coca Cola, or something) ~ (Pauses again for more Coke) ~
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"Your government works, which is more than most of you can say ~ As the sole guardian of the only right path to right thinking of government that works, and the only right path to reattain America's tarnished reputation as a nation that works, and as the only sole hope of 'The American People' and the human race in general, at least the ones that are still working, I-will not fail to always think twice about what works and what doesn't ~ I'll even think twice twice about thinking twice about what works and what doesn't ~ Gee ~ That'll make me a quintuplet" ~
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(Pauses for more Coke ~ Lookalike comedian keeps the crowd warm) ~
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"As you've chosen to re-elect me as president for life, I've just signed a contract with Pfizer and the Bill Gates Foundation promising them California if I live to be 120 and California is still there ~ California works ~ California works because the people of California work ~ If more people in America worked like the people of California worked, then more people in America would be working ~ America needs to roll up it's sleaves and stop relying on others working ~ As long as I'm president of this great nation, which will be from now until Doomsday if Pfizer and Bill Gates come through, I'll be thinking twice about how to keep California working because when California is working, the nation is working, or at least that's what it says on this hyar teleprompter ~ In closing, I'd like to thank the people of America for me being an American who's working ~ I couldn't have done it without you" ~
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(That bit was just silly humour ~ You can easily pick that because it's silly) ~
(That said, I 'STILL' know who put the bullet in JFK from the Grassy Knoll) ~
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The government should shut it down. Except that I think the government helped set it up.

why you should think twice before using Facebook (period)

Or even 3 times.