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Aziz • 4 years ago

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"

"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."

The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."

"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."

"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."

"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."

"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."

"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!"

"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

Moor often than not, I enjoy lists like this one!

percynjpn • 4 years ago

I enjoy that joke every time I hear it.

WMccreery • 6 months ago

A pirate sees his friend,another pirate, after a while he noticed a steering wheel sticking out of his crotch!! He says "What's that thing!? "I don't know,he replies" but it's driving me nuts!! "

Arrr • 2 months ago

What's a pirate's worst nightmare? A girl with a sunken chest and no booty.

This really makes me want to go on a quest.

Andy West • 4 years ago

To the liquor store we go!!

Aziz • 4 years ago

Yarr!!! spiced rum be one 'o th' few joys 'o life.

percynjpn • 4 years ago

Aye - so it does, lassie; double ration of grog fer all hands and set topgallants and royals!

Guest • 4 years ago

Magellan's trek is by far the most crazy thing I've read about the Age of Discovery. His crew eventually completed the first circumnavigation of the globe, after three years of mayhem.

percynjpn • 4 years ago

It was a truely amazing feat.

MC2 • 4 years ago

HMS Warrior was the worlds first Iron Clad and Iron Hulled warship. Monitor was the Unions first iron cd warship.

Whatisreal • 4 years ago

You beat me to it. Also, during the first Spanish Armada the British used fire ships to scatter the fleet and then battled them all the way up the English Channel (with help from the Dutch) until they ended up off the Coast of Scotland, which is when a retreat back to Spain was decided and the storm hit. Wrecking about a third of the fleet in the waters between Scotland and Ireland.


MC2 • 4 years ago

Just Americans trying to embellish their history again. U-571 anyone?

WMccreery • 6 months ago

And the HMS Warrior was just bad as the Monitor, if not worse!!

The Ou7law • 4 years ago

Who wants to go on an adventure with me :)

oouchan • 4 years ago

ME! Love Chunk!

The Ou7law • 4 years ago

Lol that dude is the man

oouchan • 4 years ago

Awesome stuff! Love the how the crazy seem to work out for these guys. Number one was good! The guy who invaded England cracked me up. Such gall.

Good list.

patrick weidinger • 4 years ago

Great list

percynjpn • 4 years ago

The USS Monitor wasn't scrapped - it sunk in rough seas.

Alex Hanton • 4 years ago

Oops, yeah you're right. Sorry about that -- I went in and fixed it.

major • 4 years ago

no mention of the naval battle of campeche, 16 may 1843? the republioc of texas navy along with ships from the brief republic of the yucatan, all sailing ships, defeated the mexican squadron which consisted of 3 new, british built steam ships and commanded by british officers for mexico. it is the only time sailing ships defeated steam ships in a battle.

Womb Raider • 4 years ago

When I seen this title, I yawned and said, "this is gonna be a boring list". Spoiler alert!!!!... it was actually good.

Brandon Roberts • 4 years ago

awesome! to bad the modern pirates are not as cool as those ancient pirates.

Errorist • 4 years ago

I shall have to get involved in this "transpor". It seems so much quicker than transport.

Lord of the Potatoes • 4 years ago

William of Orange wasn't asked by the British to become king. A few nobles with no authority to do so brought him in, and James II ran away rather than stay and fight. It was a hostile takeover by a foreign power, and it's a testament to the powers of PR that it's referred to as the Glorious Revolution.

La de Da • 4 years ago

William of Orange wasn't asked to become king, his wife Mary, a daughter from James IIs first marriage, was asked to become Queen. But the husband had to tag along, and he became very sulky when told he would be known as the Queen's consort, not a king. He made such a fuss everyone had to change their mind.

La de Da • 4 years ago

It was not an hostile takeover by a foreign power. England was strongly Protestant when it came to religion. James II was a ardent Catholic and was making moves to change things. His daughter had been brought up as a Protestant, so the takeover was very popular.

SamwiseGanja • 4 years ago

I'm gonna go play Empire: Total War now :)

Ciril • 4 years ago

Britain, Spain, Netherlands...what┬┤s the missing country?

Elouisa Levay • 4 years ago

You mean apart from Afghanistan, Albania, Algeria, Andorra, Angola, Antigua and Barbuda. Argentina, Armenia, Aruba, Australia, Austria, Azerbaijan, Bahamas, The, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Barbados, Belarus, Belgium, Belize, Benin, Bhutan, Bolivia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Botswana, Brazil, Brunei, Bulgaria, Burkina Faso, Burma, Burundi, Cambodia, Cameroon, Canada, Cape Verde, Central African Republic, Chad, Chile, China, Colombia, Comoros, Congo, Democratic Republic of,the, Congo,Republic of,the, Costa Rica, Cote d'Ivoire, Croatia, Cuba, Curacao, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Djibouti, Dominica, Dominican Republic, East Timor (see Timor-Leste), Ecuador, Egypt, El Salvador, Equatorial Guinea, Eritrea, Estonia, Ethiopia, Fiji, Finland, France, Gabon, Gambia,The, Georgia, Germany, Ghana, Greece, Grenada, Guatemala, Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, Guyana, Haiti, Holy See, Honduras, Hong Kong, Hungary, Iceland, India, Indonesia, Iran, Iraq, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Jordan, Kazakhstan, Kenya, Kiribati Korea, North Korea, South Kosovo, Kuwait, Kyrgyzstan, Laos, Latvia, Lebanon, Lesotho, Liberia, Libya, Liechtenstein, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Macau, Macedonia, Madagascar, Malawi, Malaysia, Maldives, Mali, Malta, Marshall Islands, Mauritania, Mauritius, Mexico, Micronesia, Moldova, Monaco, Mongolia, Montenegro, Morocco, Mozambique, Namibia, Nauru, Nepal,Netherlands Antilles, New Zealand, Nicaragua, Niger, Nigeria, North Korea, Norway, Oman, Pakistan, Palau, Palestinian Territories, Panama, Papua New Guinea,Paraguay, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Qatar, Romania, Russia, Rwanda, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Samoa, San Marino, Sao Tome and Principe, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, Serbia, Seychelles, Sierra Leone, Singapore, Saint Maarten, Slovakia, Slovenia, Solomon Islands, Somalia, South Africa, South Korea, South Sudan, Sri Lanka, Sudan, Suriname, Swaziland, Sweden, Switzerland, Syria, Taiwan, Tajikistan, Tanzania, Thailand, Timor-Leste, Togo, Tonga, Trinidad and Tobago,Tunisia, Turkey, Turkmenistan, Tuvalu, Uganda, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates, Uruguay, United States of America, Uzbekistan , Vanuatu, Venezuela, Vietnam, Yemen, Zambia and Zimbabwe!!?!??!!:)

Nathaniel A. • 4 years ago

*smirks* You missed the United States of America...

Arjan Hut • 4 years ago

or Italy.

Ciril • 3 years ago

Thank you arjan

GHN • 1 year ago

Libertatia (also known as Libertalia) was a purported anarchist colony founded in the late 17th century in Madagascar by pirates under the leadership of Captain James Misson (occasionally spelled "Mission").

Whether or not Libertatia actually existed is disputed. It is described in the book A General History of the Pyrates by Captain Charles Johnson, an otherwise unknown individual who may have been a pseudonym of Daniel Defoe. According to Johnson's description, Libertalia lasted for about 25 years. The precise location is not known; however, most sources say it stretched from the Antongil Bay to Mananjary, Fianarantsoa, including Île Sainte-Marie and Mahavelona. Thomas Tew, Misson and a Dominican priest named Signor Caraccioli were involved in founding it.

Anita Fly • 4 years ago

I'm from the Norfolk area, and the history there is amazing. if anyone gsts a chance, norfolk, va is chock full of nuseums anyone who loves history neess to see!

The Mad Scot • 4 years ago

Number 6 touched on something I find interesting. The French Revolution had nothing to do with ideals of liberty and the betterment of mankind, that was just an excuse. There is a decent amount of evidence that shows it was largely orchestrated by politicians and aristocrats that wanted to take down the monarchy in order to put themselves into positions of power.