The new school uniforms fix this problem.

Sorry, can't pass up opportunity for joke:

The Naked Refrigerator Guy

Three men approached the gate to heaven and as
there was only one opening left, the gatekeeper said
that whoever had the most remarkable and worthy death could enter.
He asked the first man how he died, and the man replied,

'Imagine this -- I suspected my wife was having an affair
behind my back and I wanted to find out the truth.
I came home from work one day to surprise her and catch her in the act.
When I searched the house I found her in the bathroom.
The mirror was fogged and she had a towel on but her hair
wasn't wet, so I knew she wasn't taking a shower.
I looked all around the house to find the guy.
I found ten fingers hanging onto the window sill outside.
I pounded them until he finally let go.
When he fell he landed in some bushes and
God must have loved him because he lived, so I threw the
refrigerator out the window to finish him off.
After all the excitement I fell dead of a heart attack.'

Then the gatekeeper asked the second man how he died. He replied,

'Imagine this -- I'm minding my own business on top of my
apartment building. I was riding one of those stationary
bicycles when the screws gave out and I flew off the side.
I reached out and caught a window sill, then some idiot
started pounding on my fingertips. When I fell I landed
in some bushes and God must have loved me because I lived.
But then that same idiot threw his
refrigerator out the window and it crushed me.'

'That, too, is horrible,' said the gate keeper.
Then he asked the third man the same question.

His reply was, 'OK, imagine this, I'm naked in a refrigerator...'

Women are always angry at the husband who cheats. Men seem to be more angry at the other man his wife cheated with. Why the difference? (yes, I know it is a joke, but that detail mirrors real life)

Never been cheated on by my wife (as far as I know), but I was cheated on by an ex.

I didn't get mad at the guy she cheated with, but we were both pissed at her since neither of us knew she was cheating on us.

It all depends on the situation too. If my wife was cheating on me with someone that knew me, I'd be mad at both people, if it was someone that didn't know she was married, or she told them that we had an open marriage, then there isn't really anything I can be mad at him for.

Of course saying that now and experiencing it are different things unfortunately.

I am not nor ever was married, but when I was cheated on, I was upset at both of them. Because the guy he cheated on me with was both a dude I knew and the dude who asked me out about a day after the dude I was with broke up with me. Then he dated my ex. That was very confusing, but I look at it now like, HA! I was prettier than you, he asked me first!

That is literally the only joke that I remember. All other jokes go in my brain and out. I've heard it that they are in an emergency room. One guy is running down the back stairs zipping up his pants and is late for work.

That has...unfortunate implications.

This troper enjoys the shout-out.

As does this one.

(Dammit, there goes my evening!)

Did not expect that.

stupid discuss.. not positing imagines...

Box trolls? It's not Halloween yet!

It's a burka, right? So now I can't make my burka joke without being late?

Burka jokes are never late.

Repetitive. That's the word I was going for. Anyway, about to post it since your image failed!

edited for stupid grammar fail. I hate myself.

Watch out, you might give Saudi-Arabia some ideas.

My kid's school is currently having a pearl clutch about yoga pants. It's an elementary school. The pearl clutching makes me more nervous about the male faculty's minds than the students'. If you're an adult male and the fact that elementary school aged girls are wearing yoga pants upsets you, that ought to be the first warning sign that you shouldn't be around young girls.

For you Brits and Aussies, our elementary school is ages 5-11 or early 12, roughly.

Definitely an adult issue. Boys don't even like to be around the girls until they are teens for most part. Girls have cooties after all...

Nice blanket statement. Obviously you don't have any kids or have ever talked with 12 year olds.

Wow! It's like you totally nailed who I am! Amazing!

Well, almost.

Okay...not really.

Well, actually, completely wrong. But I give you an A for effort!

I do have kids (2 of which are boys). And while at 12 they will start to take notice, from ages 5 to 10 or 11, girls only have cooties. At ages 11 and 12, girls mostly have cooties...well, most girls have cooties, but there is that one girl that seems kind of okay...

Obviously you lack basic reading comprehension skills. GusSnarp's posting was about an elementary school, where the students are approximately 5-11. Yes, (some) 12-year-old boys are becoming interested in girls, but by then, they're in middle school.

And to spare you from lecturing me about "not having kids," I have a son who just turned seventeen. He never really thought girls have cooties, but he also wasn't "interested" in them in elementary school.

I'd probably have your reaction, too.

At ages 5-11 they're not "protecting" the girls from male students.

I haven't seen Pretty Woman in a while but I don't recall Julia Roberts wearing jeggings. At any rate, men don't need to see jeggings to get horny. They need to be alive. And I'm sick to death of assholes slut-shaming women.

Just another example of blaming the victim. In this case more of a fashion victim, but it still helps enforce the idea that teenage boys can't control themselves around the girls.

yeah - jeggings didn't exist yet. she wore thigh-high boots and a short skirt.

edited for typos

THE HORROR!!! *clutches pearls to chest*

run for your lives! it's THIGH-HIGH BOOTS!

Shit, I hope they never come to the UGA campus on game day. Short dresses and thigh-high cowboy boots everywhere...

those boots just seem like they'd be uncomfortable.

My friend let me try on hers, and believe me, they are. Rub all the skin off your heel. So glad I have my own gameday uniform so I don't have to worry about 'em.

yikes! yeah I'll pass.

I remember taking a bus to the city when I was starting my freshman year of high school. I came home with some super sweet patent leather stiletto heeled boots and wondered what my mom's reaction would be. She's always been pretty fashion forward, but she also had strict ideas on what is age appropriate. She went through her own closet to find a knee length skirt and a sleeveless turtleneck. I still remember getting compliments, even from the oldest teachers. I was/am usually pretty modest when I dress, but I knew the boots were sexy, and that was part of the appeal. I'm so thankful I have a mother who looked past the potential tartiness of said boots and gave me a lesson in how a woman can be sexy in an appropriate* way, and there was no mention of prostitution or fending off boys who were incapable of not humping my boots. Basically I was taught to know my mind and form my own style around it. Some people can't dress well to save their lives, and I wonder if they know themselves at all.

* appropriate being subjective, determined by the wearer, not tired ideas of lady v whore.

your mom sounds awesome :D

A lizard clutching pearls is not the image I thought I'd be thinking about at this hour of the night.

*tongue flick*

Add a cape to that outfit, and I'm in

*whooosh*

DEAL!

Princess of Power here I come!

I was more thinking of it as a new outfit for me, the administrator of Cloud City, but it'd probably look pretty good on you, as well

we can share. :)

Deal

Yep. Certainly nothing I'd wear (I have neither the body nor the inclination) but if that's what floats her boat then more power to her.

when I was skinny, I wore the littlest tops I could find, much to my mother's horror. I lived, though, and had a job that didn't involve sex.

Oh, I bet some guys could manage getting aroused while not alive.

Hm, I'm not sure if erections work for dead bodies (though given the amount of random knowledge Atheists soak up, I'm sure someone reading this thread probably knows). Though the opposite, him getting aroused while she is dead, isn't that much better.

Also in Pretty Woman, Richard Gere's character is a 'John', a man who buys the service of prostitutes. Therefore school boys should be discouraged from dressing like that character.

Right?

But the Johns don't have to advertise themselves to get prostitutes so they were suits to blend in with society. Sneaky sneaky.

End of story.
—

"She looked like a slut."

"In what kind of way?"

"Oh, ya know, in a general kinda way."

I'm not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your whore observation skills, there, Lou.

Go Bears?