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Re: The Male Room: A Show for women... About Men

Corey Jenkins — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:33:46 -0000

The Male Room - helping women understand men & men understand themselves...

Re: The Male Room: A Show for women... About Men

Corey Jenkins — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 12:59:55 -0000

Elroy, you make several revealing points that I'll simply underscore. You admitted you were NOT honestly looking at the kind of relationships you were in. That sounds so simple but I want to point out to the readers just how important this is. Developing "genuine self-respect," or what Brad The Love Coach and I call self-love is the result of looking at your life and your relationships honestly. It's important to see the behaviors you've adopted, and in that awareness, make new choices in the present. When you become honest, you have a foundation to know a true loving partner when they show up rather than empty attempts to convince yourself. Thanks for participating. For more information on awareness, go to www.coreyjenkins.tv.

Re: The Male Room: A Show for women... About Men

Corey Jenkins — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 23:27:14 -0000

Well Johnny I personally think your diagnosis is exactly right. So what's the common denominator in all those experiences? You. And you're right again repeating the self destruction is "far from self love."

The good news is that awareness (which you seem to have) is the very first step towards progress. When you recognize the pattern of co-dependency, you are aware of your ability to choose to continue that behavior or try something new. Sometimes you'll continue to choose the dysfunction the way and addict does. At some point you'll get sick of it not working for you the same way many alcoholics hit rock-bottom. And once you are aware you cannot become unaware. This may result in an ongoing battle between what I call your true self and your ego (false self). In your case you may continue in a few more self destructive relationships before you get sick of being sick.

Here's one promise and a few suggestions. I promise there will be a point when the suffering ends. And when it does you'll be in the space of everything that is possible. You will know it because there will be a deep peacefulness and a joy in your being. You will not only recognize love in yourself but you'll see the lovingness in everyone else too. Even more amazing is that when you're in that state of being, you'll look back at your suffering and understand why it was necessary.

How can you "do" that? It's different for everybody but I encourage you to seek out the sources that work the best for you to explore your true self which is self love. For me, it was a combination of self-audit, mentorship and studying some historical stuff just to understand why so many others believed what they did. Ultimately it requires 100% honesty with yourself and it really helps to share with a trusted person. As I've written about at www.coreyjenkins.tv, making amends to those which you've held resentments toward and then continuing to abolish fear and anger immediately when they show up is key to your continued self love.

Johnny, I want to acknowledge you for asking this question publicly. You are demonstrating exactly what The Male Room stands for. We want to show that through asking questions, revealing ourselves and having open and truth-based conversations, we can contribute positively.

Re: The Male Room: A Show for women... About Men

Corey Jenkins — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:48:51 -0000

Hi Jodi, thanks for getting involved in the conversation. It sounds like you're fresh out of a PAX program which I know discusses the genetic differences between men and women in attempt to help us understand each other. I can honor that model as it supports creating awareness (which is what I'm all about), but it doesn't help us live in the PRESENT. It needs and encore. If we limit ourselves to the historical perspective, we limit the possibility of realizing our full partnership potential.

Please note I avoid terms like "soley," "entirely," always and never because situations are rarely the same. My articles address the bulk of the questions I receive but should always be taken as suggestions only.

While I don't believe the term "genetic" should be used here because I assure you there's no gene inside man or woman that suggests we should remain in a mediocre relationship, arguably you and I are saying the same thing. I said we're programmed by our environment. You're saying there are "deep rooted" mechanisms at work here. We're both right. The deep rooted mechanisms are antiquated behaviors that have transcended generations. So when I say that women are conditioned to believe their self-worth is based on their ability to attract a mate, they learn this from their parents who learned it from their parents who learned it from their parents all the way back to the beginning of humankind.

I'm not calling women shallow. I'm saying the programming is shallow. Guess what? It's almost 2010 and men and women have a choice to hunt, gather or anywhere in between or beyond. Regardless whether we're born with a penis or a vagina, we can create our lives and our relationships anyway we want and we are not bound by historical role playing.

So I agree with you "shallow" is often "only a shallow attempt to explain away things that we are unwilling to delve further into." I encourage men and women to delve beyond the shallow, historical interpretations of men and women which only help your ego feel better that you are normal for experiencing difficulties. Let's create real love by living in the present moment.

If you are debating the value of your relationship to your purpose in life, sit with that feeling over a reasonable period of time (you'll have to define that for yourself). Consider if you are creating love or tolerating mediocrity. Connect with your true-self and make a decision when you're ready. I even encourage you to have the discussion with your partner. True love is openness and allowing. You should both choose in from your individual truths.

Re: The Male Room: A Show for women... About Men

Corey Jenkins — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 23:12:25 -0000

Hi James, what I'm saying is that both ego and self love exist in us and that it's important to be aware that we have a choice which consciousness we are being from moment to moment. Ego is empty and meaningless and and self-love is a foundation for truth in relationships and more joy and love.

Re: The Male Room: A Show for women... About Men

Corey Jenkins — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 14:55:38 -0000

I love this sizzle reel. An authentic group of men speaking from their hearts.