Disqus - Latest Comments for catlady3

Re: Q&A - Help! I Have Few Memories of My Dead Brother | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 11:42:41 -0000

Rebecca,
I had a traumatic childhood as my parents were alcoholic. This may not apply in your case, but I found that I had repressed the memories, both good and bad. I worked with a compassionate therapist and found that going back through the bad memories freed the good memories. I was not nearly as young as you were, so this may not apply in your case. Five is young - it's not surprising it's the traumatic event that stayed with you! Take care.

Re: 'Unenjoyment' | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 14:56:17 -0000

Life is replete with substance. Just look at the suffering in Haiti. I don't think we need to muddle about in the mire all the time. Sometimes when you're trying to lift yourself up, hearing about more misery is the last thing you need!

Re: 'Unenjoyment' | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 14:54:00 -0000

In general, I am fortunate in that I can take great enjoyment from life's small pleasures. I'm a gardener, so a new flower blooming or a seed coming up gives me pleasure. Even an unexpected vista - the sunlight on a white-barked sycamore tree can please me. However, some days I have to remind myself, with life's stresses, to stop and look around. My cats are good for this - even adult cats can be quite comical. Or just loving. It's hard to feel bad when you're petting a soft cat and it's purring. Sometimes the little things in life are the big things.

Re: Is Your Period Normal? | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 19:09:15 -0000

I am 50 and I take Metformin for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. PCOS is believed to be the result of insulin resistance and, in my case, Metformin, which is normally prescribed for diabetes, has helped. I had a ruptured ovary removed some years back. It was evidently the result of two kinds of benign tumors or cysts.
Now, I'm getting menopause-like symptoms which as changed my menstrual cycle. Also I'm having so low back pain and lower abdominal pain. I have a very small fibroid that is not supposed to be doing this. I think I may have endometriosis. However, I'm reluctant to go back to the doctor with this. Also, both of my sisters are breast cancer survivors. They developed breast cancer after taking estrogen, so hormones are out of the question.

Re: Is Your Period Normal? | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 19:04:05 -0000

I had a friend who was a RN, who has since moved away. She said that menstral cramping is relieved by putting the heating pad to the feet as congestion of the blood is part of what causes the cramping.

Re: The Matriarch | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 11:54:07 -0000

My family had matriarchs on both sides. The one I knew the best was my maternal grandmother. Although I didn't agree with her on everything, she gave me a strong sense of family and a belief in the value of strong women. Along with that, she, herself, was a strong, intelligent woman.
I am so grateful that my father also taught his three daughters that women were capable human beings to be respected.
His mother bore 5 living children, lived with an awesome mother-in-law for 20 years and also showed a gracious, loving strength to children and grandchildren. Love does conquer all.
Matriarchs also step in and help to give the grandchildren love and attention that working parents cannot always supply. My grandmother taught me baking, crafts, making pickles, gardening. I cannot enumerate it all!

Re: A Jenga Kind of Life | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 23:53:15 -0000

It was amazing and I was able to take back over my own life! Before that it had never occurred to me that they were claiming something that was mine!

Re: What's Your Sugar? | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:03:01 -0000

I decided a couple of years ago that I would make a special point to be nice to people on the other side of the counter. I was waiting at a fast food place and thought of someone who make me smile. I looked up and the clerk smiled back, of course thinking the smile was for her. I smiled back and since then I have made a special effort to speak to clerks as people. So, I guess being friendly is what attracts people to me. I'm Southern and from a small town. So, talking to people and being friendly is easy for me. By the way, being friendly has been so positive. At worst, people are indifferent. Usually, they're grateful so one isn't treating them badly or with indifference!

Re: The Gift of Pain | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 10:53:20 -0000

In my case, being diagnosed with depression and pursuing treatment for it was a real eye-opener. I could not understand why I would function well for a time and then, seem to sabotage myself. Getting psychological treatment and going on antidepressants really helped me a lot. Also, for me it was a revelation that much of the addiction to alcohol in my family was probably due to an attempt to self-medicate the pain of depression. I accept myself better now. I think, knowing my own limitations has also made me more tolerant of others.

Re: The Gift of Pain | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 10:49:27 -0000

Merle,
I have depression, too. I am on antidepressants prescribed by a doctor and they help a lot. Some of your negative feelings about yourself are due to the depression. There is no one correct thing to do. Just do the best you can. Please see your doctor or a reliable counselor. I have learned to recognize when my negative feelings result from my depression. You don't have to be sad most of the time. You can feel like yourself, but better. Depression is a medical condition and it can really take you down. Pleases get help - you will be amazed at the difference it can make!

Re: A Jenga Kind of Life | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 14:22:53 -0000

When I was in college, and being pulled from one place to another by the demands of different family members, I began dating a man who was studying for his masters degree in psychology. Observing my attempts to balance family demands, he asked me, "Has is ever occurred to you that it's your life?" For me his question was a revelation. We had some self-centered folks in my family. No, it had never occurred to me it was "my life." The epiphany was a turning-point for me!

Re: A Jenga Kind of Life | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 14:19:20 -0000

When I was younger I allowed my family to absorb too much of my life. I felt fragmented because I was allowing others to direct my life, rather than myself.
My husband became ill and it was a blessing in a backwards sort of way. I realized that we have no guarantee on life. My husband became first for me over my family which was inconsiderate and demanding. My husband and I have been more grounded since that time. Happily, he recovered with no ill effects. However, we learned to set limits with my family which was a good lesson!

Re: DISQUS | CMS Blog

catlady3 — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 14:17:51 -0000

I sympathize deeply with your friend. When I found out my beloved 15 year old cat was dying of cancer, I sobbed like a child. Percy, our cat, loved us, played with us, was always there. Pets are in a different place in our hearts than people. Losing them is so hard.

Re: Eat to Lose: 10 No-Fail Ways to Shed Pounds | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 13:32:27 -0000

Emma,
If chocolate isn't one of the major food groups, it should definitely be one of life's essential nutrients! : )

Re: Happy Turkey Day | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 19:12:49 -0000

Some of my Thanksgivings in the past were turkeys! I'm grateful that now my Thanksgivings are good, that I have a loving husband and that my extended family is doing well. Thank you, Dr. Sklare, it's good to stop and be grateful for our lives. Life is too hectic.

Re: You Are Stronger Than You Know | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 19:08:33 -0000

I grew up in a dysfunctional family. As a result my childhood was different from it might have been. I didn't consider the problems my family had a blessing at the time. Now, I realize that having been tested early on I learned the important values of life at an early age. We can be broken by life or like my tall pines trees we can bend with the storm to survive another day. I am convinced that God gave me the strength to survive and I will be forever grateful.

Re: You Are Stronger Than You Know | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 19:05:19 -0000

May the Lord bless you and give you the strength to keep fighting. When our strength is exhausted, we can always call on God. The Lord will get you through this if you call on Him.

Re: Q&A - Help! My Husband Thinks I'm a Bad Wife | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:02:55 -0000

Carrie, how long have you know your husband? Also, has anything changed significantly since you married in his attitude or expectations toward you? Marriage is a two-way street. Your husband should be able to communicate with you without putting your down. You are equal partners. Go to a counselor and air your differences. If he doesn't want a two-way street and a working relationship, perhaps you should consider your options.

Re: High-Value Living | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:32:04 -0000

I think mindfulness is a good word. In the last year, I started using a camera frequently to photograph my flowers, cats, yard, anything that appealed. Now, I look around more and pay attention more. It's easy to walk around in a fog and miss what and who are around you. The path is more important than the destination - cliche or not.

Re: Soldier On | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:56:15 -0000

I think of it as "one day at a time", but the sentiment is the same. Sometimes it seems like "one minute at a time." One day I look up and the sky is brighter and I see beauty again.

Re: Emotional Tattoos | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 20:36:42 -0000

Dear Rebecca,

I am in no way minimizing the terrible things that happened to you. I believe that after your experiences your pain and anger is more than justified. I can think of no one lower than a man who would do these things to you.

There is someone close to me who was physically abused by her husband. In fact, I tried to help her to leave the husband in question. She eventually did leave him on her own, for which I am profoundly grateful. I was afraid that he would kill her.

I am very sorry for your pain. I know that words are totally inadequate for what you and your children have endured.

My father was frightening when he drank. He was violent. I cannot compare with your experience in any way, nor would I try.

However, I do have some idea what it is to live in fear. I know what it is like not to trust in what may happen in the next moment or what will set someone off. I know that it is hell on earth.

However, please, understand that if words do not have the power of physical abuse, they do have a power of their own.

In the same way that "I love you," when said to manipulate rather than because it is true, is beyond pain.

I hope that you have found a support group, a counselor, someone to help you in dealing with the aftermath of the experiences that you and your children went through.

You are very angry, legitimately so. However, please for your children's sake try to go on. To be dependent on public assistance will not harm them nearly as much as not going on with their lives emotionally. Unfair as that may be, it will probably depend on you.

My own experiences in growing up in as a child of alcoholics has taken me years, actually decades, to try to get past. However, the struggle has been worth it.

I wish you and your children the best. I'm sorry if I stepped on your toes. I didn't want to.

Sincerely.
Catlady3

Re: The Pretender | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 11:50:58 -0000

Lucygirl, Can someone help with your mom? You need to do things for yourself - literally, for "your self." First of all, someone you trust to talk to - a counselor - someone uninvolved in the situation emotionally who can listen to you and advise. If you can at least get yourself some time each day to do something that gives you pleasure. Also, if you can write - just journal - either on computer or by hand - write down what ever comes to mind. This is a way to get in touch with what you're feeling. So, grammar, content, nothing matters. Only you will read it. Feel free to reply to me and I will reply back. Take care.

Re: Emotional Tattoos | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:23:27 -0000

I agree that to be free of the pain and anger, one must learn to accept and forgive the person. However, it can be difficult to impossible. Understanding someone sometimes leads to acceptance and forgiveness. In my experience, it doesn't happen overnight.

Re: Emotional Tattoos | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:20:49 -0000

I find that both words and actions can hurt. An apology does not erase what is said. The victim still remembers and must release the memory and the pain it brings.
The lies that people tell, particularly, "I love you" when their actions are the absolute opposite are particularly difficult. Some of the most horrible actions taken against others have been taken in the name of "love", but were really in the name of hate, jealousy, anger and possessiveness.
My grandmother quote "loved" me and yet hurt me emotionally as much or more than anyone. As an adult, I can see that her concept of love was learned from her mother and that it was wrong. As a child, all I could see was the terrible things said to me in the name of love. To use "love" as a means of control is an abomination.

Re: Emotional Tattoos | Lifescript.com

catlady3 — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:10:31 -0000

Amen to this. My grandmother was the worst ever. She was born a redhead, although that's no excuse. She would lose her temper when she didn't get her way and say absolutely horrible things. Then, she would walk away - over her temper - and you would be emotionally bleeding.
If I'm angry, I walk away and think about it. I try to never confront someone in the heat of my anger.
Other people who should be careful of this are teachers, band directors and coaches. I have known people who carried negative messages their entire life because of something said by a teacher, etc., when the individual was a student.
My husband is convinced he can never sing because an elementary school teacher told him not to join in for a program. I'm a musician and she was wrong, but I will never convince my husband of this. She wasn't even a music teacher!