http://disqus.com/by/ahorrifiedmother/enTue, 11 Aug 2009 23:52:58 -0000http://wmacphail.tumblr.com/post/27526447#comment-14696374<p>I am a horrified mother of a 13 year old. My daughter reported to me that her dad did sexual things to her, some when she was younger and some at the age of the report, 8 years old. When I sought judicial action, to protect my child. The judge told the "father " to file for "custody".I felt betrayed by the system, I was outraged. I had never been involved in the court system, i did not know or understand the judges tactics. They were not righteous, nor were they protecting the innocence. What I have learned is: Do not file, or be a litigant in a "custody" trial, and "say" you or your child are abused (whether it is true or not - it doesn't matter - that says an awful lot about "our justice system). At the time of the abuse, there was no custody action sought. I was just trying to get protection for my child against her abuser. And they, the courts, removed my precious child from the one that tried to protect her, and gave her openly, and fully to the one that she said abused her, and abused me. The court (in a divorce or custody case) looks at that to be "a defense tactic". But again, custodial issues were not presented, it was the judge that "told the father to file for custody, and hence if the abuse that was prevalent, became an issue, it would now be subsequent to "the custody case....<br>The problem: My daughter who is 13 now, claimed her dad did sexual things to her three times, once when she was 4 years old, and again at 7 and eight. She remembered all of these incidents in great detail. She wrote them down. Sher told her teacher. She told her doctor, she,fought and fought and fought. I tried and am still trying. But the court removed all my rights as a mother, as a protector of my child. I had to sit back and watch my child be dehumanized, and put through unreal stress as she was forced to be with the one that abused her. My daughter was able to speak in her own defense last year, at the age of 12. The judge said "he did not believe her.... The judge said... I was lying and she was repeating me. I told the judge, I only know what my daughter told me. i was seeking help and protection for my daughter. I also told him, I don't know anything about the incidents I was not there, but to question her. I repeatedly told him, to ask her, she can give details I can't. I am a minority, her father isn't, and neither was the judge ... I have not seen my child I have loved, devoted my life to, in over a year. She was taken frantically and given to "her and my abuser... She claims while he did this very serious sexual act to her, "no penetration" but inappropriate touching/behavior... he was playing a game... This is Hell. This is torture... This is insanity... i am one of the best mothers I know. And this is America?</p>ahorrifiedmotherTue, 11 Aug 2009 23:52:58 -0000