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Re: The Surprising Benefits of Marrying Young | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Fri, 14 Aug 2015 16:04:13 -0000

You have to dig into the PDF of the full report which is available on the page that is linked to in this post:

http://www.aei.org/wp-conte...

Within the report, you'll see that married men work 400+ more hours a week than single men.

More data and graphs are included in the report.

Re: A Guide to Paying Back Your Student Loans | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 16:54:26 -0000

Yeah, he wasn't saying loans forgiven under the public service loan program are taxable, just that some are, which is true. But that might be confusing for folks, since the ones listed above fall under the untaxable umbrella, so I took that bit out.

Re: The 3 Families Every Young Man Needs to Grow Up Well | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Wed, 29 Jul 2015 13:41:44 -0000

Thank you for the kind words.

As to your criticism, I would respectfully submit that we said just what you wanted us to say. You wanted us to add:

"If you’re not happy with how your local public schools are going about educating your children, do something about it. For example, are you volunteering at the school? Are you assisting with fundraisers, meeting the teachers, attending PTA/PTO or School Board meetings?"

Yet in the point right above, we said something almost exactly the same:

"Don’t just treat you son’s school as a babysitter. They’ll be spending most of their childhood and teenage years within the walls of a classroom — you should want to know what they’re learning and doing there. Go to PTA meetings and voice your concerns. But don’t just carp. Show your good faith by volunteering to help with projects and events within the school. Many schools now have “Fantastic Father Fridays” or something like that for dads to come to the classroom, eat donuts with the kids, and talk to the teachers. The job of educating your child isn’t just the school’s job. Parents have a role to play too."

Thus I feel it was implicit that point #2 would be considered after trying point #1. That is to say, if one's issues with public school can't be solved by greater involvement, then consider private schools and homsechooling.

Re: Asking a Woman On a Date: Should You Call or Text? | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 22:40:29 -0000

Nah, I don't mind going full-on curmudgeon when something calls for it! I genuinely have no problem with texting. There's something nice about writing over talking -- almost like micro letters. I hate talking on the phone, and more importantly, my wife does too, and had we met now, she would have preferred texting by a mile. So it's really all about knowing what the lady might like best.

With calling cards, you actually left the card with the servant who answered the door rather than the parents -- even middle class folks (who, along with the upper class would have been the only ones using cards) had a least one servant back then. So it wasn't quite as ballsy as might be imagined.

Re: Asking a Woman On a Date: Should You Call or Text? | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 22:35:29 -0000

38! I couldn't tell how old you were by your tiny pic, but just based on the insightful, steady wisdom you leave in comments I was thinking maybe 50. Wise beyond your years my man.

Re: Morning and Evening Routines [VIDEO] | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 16:03:42 -0000

Is the inconsistency consistent? Like do you always work 4 am on Mondays, 7am on Tuesdays, and 12am on Thursdays? Or is it always a toss up? If the inconsistency is consistent, you could create a routine for each one of those schedules.

If the inconsistency is inconsistent, you might try shooting simply for a consistent micro-routine that can always work with your schedule; for example, you could decide to always do a certain 30-min routine after rising and before going to bed. Keeping it small may make it more doable, while still offering a sense of centering you likely could use!

But of course getting a more consistent schedule would be ideal! Our brains crave routine and it'll probably do wonders for body, mind, and soul.

Re: Morning and Evening Routines [VIDEO] | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 15:45:22 -0000

I just do a free-write--whatever is on my mind.

Re: Morning and Evening Routines [VIDEO] | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 23:48:14 -0000

Yeah, I buzz it during the summer; my hair is quite thick and it gets very hot!

I wish I had some great tips on enforcing routine; it is definitely hard, and I've certainly had my good intentions go out the window sometimes. For me it helps to write down my schedule...and, this is important, to keep looking at it throughout the day, and the evening. It helps to keep reminding yourself of what you have planned, and what should be coming up next. Using a timer with an audible beep, while it sounds strict, can also help you stay on track; sometimes you need that alarm to wake you from a drift into just piddling around. Also see if there's one activity that shoots the rest of them; like, if you start surfing the net after dinner, 20 mins turns into an hour, and pretty soon it's time for bed. In such a case, you just have to decide to save that activity until everything else you had planned gets done.

All in all though, it's just a matter of doing the thing -- brute force discipline!

Re: Morning and Evening Routines [VIDEO] | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 23:42:29 -0000

http://dailyroutines.typepa...

He wrote a book that looks very good too!

Re: A Primer on Friedrich Nietzsche: His Life and Philosophical Style | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 23:40:45 -0000

I think he meant that he hopes I do a good job summarizing Nietzsche's ideas in the next post, and wanted to offer his own preview here.

Re: The Best Damn Guide to Men’s T-Shirts on the Internet | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 13:41:26 -0000

Tucking is mentioned at the very end of the post, under the tips section. I also linked to a whole article on tucking for further information.

The half tucked pics are from J. Crew. They always do that in their product shots, though no one is entirely sure why.

Re: A Primer on Friedrich Nietzsche: His Life and Philosophical Style | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 10:12:11 -0000

Yes, agreed on all points: a man should read works that contest both sides of a philosophy. I'm already a fan of Chesterton and thought he had some good critiques of Nietzsche. Some day I'll do a post about the wisdom of Chesterton as well.

Re: How to Control a Job Interview | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Thu, 09 Jul 2015 19:00:37 -0000

I would in fact argue that the "agree to disagree" ethos encapsulates another strain of precisely what is wrong with modern society. But I suppose a thread on interviewing skills is not the place for that debate.

Re: How to Control a Job Interview | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Thu, 09 Jul 2015 18:47:47 -0000

Your comment, however well-intentioned, shows a terrible lack of cultural literacy. The painting in the background is not just some painting, but "The Flower Carrier" by Diego Rivera, one of the most famous and celebrated Latino artists in history. The painting symbolizes the weight that capitalism can place on the working class. That the interviewer chose this painting reflects his appreciation and understanding of art and would have likely reflected well on him for the time, and signaled his sympathy for the working class, rather than his antipathy for minorities.

Your comment perfect encapsulates that unfortunate strain in our modern society, which tries to embody progressivism and culture, but has instead mistook it as an ability to take offense in the absence of understanding and context.

Re: How to Organize Your Garage | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 13:58:46 -0000

The garage is under the house, so the dirt part is where the finished workshop ends, and the unfinished under-the-house part begins.

Re: Manliness Precedes True Gentlemanliness | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 13:55:09 -0000

You seem to be defining legacy is a stubbornly narrow and I would say nonsensical way. A legacy is not just praise, but the actions and their after-effects that earn that praise. If a father raises a son in an honorable way, so that the son grows up to be an honorable man, and then he has kids that grow up well, that's a legacy. The son and grandchildren may praise the grandfather for his virtuous ways, but the grandfather's legacy is the well-lived lives of his progeny.

Leaving a legacy means changing the world in some fundamental way, whether through shifting history or simply molding the hearts of others.

Re: Manliness Precedes True Gentlemanliness | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Tue, 30 Jun 2015 14:39:09 -0000

Hardly. The sole purpose of being a PM who didn't cheat is not to get praise. Honor is certainly nice, but even better is the fact that a man can help save Western democracy AND be a faithful husband. What a legacy!

Manliness for thousands of years from hunter-gatherer tribes to ancient civilizations required activity in public life. You had to participate in contests and challenges to prove yourself against other men, to develop yourself, and to add something of value to your tribe and people. Taking on such challenges is how you earned what the Romans called "fire in the bones." A life filled with vigor and light. Men who played it small and withdrew from life were not considered manly. Not simply because they didn't earn the praise of others, but because they lived a shriveled life that did not contribute to the world around them. In fact our word "idiot" comes from the ancient Greek work for a private citizen who did not engage in public life. Even Jesus admonished his followers not to withdraw from the world, but only from the evil in it, and charged them with being the active yeast that would bring forth good. There's no honor -- inner or external -- in being an "idiot" who hides at home to avoid temptation. In avoiding temptation, you also avoid opportunities to be tested, to grow, and to leave a legacy.

"So it is in citizenship; the virtue that stays at home in its own parlor and bemoans the wickedness of the outside world is of scant use to the community. We are a vigorous, masterful people, and the man who is to do good work in our country must not only be a good man, but also emphatically a man." -TR

Re: The Influence of Fathers on Children | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Tue, 23 Jun 2015 23:34:57 -0000

Some of the studies controlled for correlation, but yes, in some studies false correlations may be possible, and the the cause is impossible to definitively prove. But there are strong cases to be made on both sides of the issue. For example, while it's possible that poverty fosters single motherhood, it's also possible, and much research supports the idea, that lack of present fathers/marriage creates poverty as well.

Re: How to Give Effective Criticism [VIDEO] | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Sat, 30 May 2015 23:59:33 -0000

Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Addressing an issue that the video notes has already been corrected does not count as effective criticism!

Glad you found the video well-made and informative!

Re: How to Give Effective Criticism [VIDEO] | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Sat, 30 May 2015 23:40:50 -0000

Thanks Tom.

My favorite fiction books are Lonesome Dove, The Great Gatsby, and The Road.

With nonfiction, I'd have to really think it about; I've read a lot of good ones and they're hard to rank! My favorite for this year so far is Resilience by Eric Greitens.

Re: Giving Kids an Allowance: What You Need to Know | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Thu, 14 May 2015 13:50:49 -0000

I wish I could take credit for his smarts, but we really didn't do anything intentional to get him up to speed--it seems like he came out of the womb that way. He started spelling short words with blocks when he was 17 mos and no one could have been more surprised than us.

He's taken the lead with his own learning, but on our end we do reading and math workbook pages together for about 15 mins each morning. We're also not of the mindset that screentime is terrible and starting when he was about one, we let him have 3, 20-min sessions on the ipad each day doing learning sites and educational vids on Youtube. It really seems to help. It may be beneficial too that he overhears Kate and I talk to each other a lot; according to research that's supposed to help. Other than that I don't know!

Re: Giving Kids an Allowance: What You Need to Know | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Thu, 14 May 2015 13:43:30 -0000

Not at all. That's like saying putting training wheels on a bike is completely counter to teaching a kid how to ride a bike. Rules and guidelines are necessary when kids are young to train their judgement and ability to make decisions.

Re: PSA: Half of Marriages No Longer End in Divorce | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Mon, 11 May 2015 17:36:21 -0000

That less people are getting married wouldn't directly affect the % of those getting divorced, since it's just a measurement of those who get married. It does likely indirectly affect it, though. Folks who were on the fence about getting married, who in times past may have entered into it mindlessly, or for the wrong reasons, aren't getting married much anymore. Those who are still getting married are those who are serious about the commitment, and enter marriage with intentionality. I think the takeaway then, is that marriage is not a game of random Russian roulette, as it is often perceived, and that chances of divorce are largely within the couple's control.

Re: Stay Cool, Look Sharp: How to Wear a Seersucker Suit | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Sat, 02 May 2015 09:35:03 -0000

We typically publish one, two at the very most, articles about style/clothes a month. Overall we publish about 20 articles a month. So, at the most, 10% of our articles are about style. It would be quite a stretch to call 10% a very high percentage. Also, our style articles are some of our most popular, showing that most of the men you personally know, do not necessarily represent all men.

Re: Beware the Too Compelling Narrative | The Art of Manliness

Brett McKay — Thu, 30 Apr 2015 13:26:30 -0000

All headlines/titles are summaries/narratives of the contents, and this isn't a bad thing. It's just that sometimes headlines are too sensational and inaccurate. All writers try to strike a balance between accurately conveying the contents, and intriguing people to click/open the book, because what a writer hopes most is that folks will give their material a chance and read what's inside. I think "Beware the Too Compelling Narrative" strikes this balance properly.