Disqus - Latest Comments for ValNelson

Re: How To Find Your Dream Job as an HSP

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Tue, 05 Nov 2024 15:29:29 -0000

Rachel, you've done an amazing job of outlining what it takes and I hope you are finding your true path. I wonder if maybe you're considering being a career coach for HSPs? I'd be happy to discuss my experience of doing that with you if you reach out.
For everyone, these are not simple things to do, but Rachel has made it that much easier by offering concrete actions you could take, step by step. If it's not happening or going as smoothly as you'd like, that's when talking to a career coach might be helpful, or finding a community for walking through the career process together. That's what I did and it was so helpful for me. Eternally grateful.

Re: These 2 Traits Can Make HSPs (Almost) Immune to Narcissists

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Fri, 26 Jul 2024 17:51:31 -0000

Good post on a very important topic for HSPs. I've gotten sucked in by narcissists in the past but I feel like I might be over the hump with it. Setting clear boundaries, without being reactive to all their baiting, has paid off. They seem to lose interest in people with boundaries. And yes, they might still see me as the bad guy but that's a small price to pay for freedom.

Re: The Landscape of the Human Spirit: How Where We Live Affects the Way We Coach | Transformative Coaching Skills

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Thu, 16 May 2024 18:19:28 -0000

Kat, this is a great article about a common question for venturing into any new career. I love the specifics you gave for aspiring coaches.

I'm one of those who ventured into the self-employment direction with a specific niche (career and business coaching for introverts and highly sensitive people), and I agree that niching is a big part of making it viable.

I too did some creative things like renting a room, consulting, copywriting, selling things, and leaning into a small nest-egg fund with a leap of faith - faith in my coaching skills, callings, and in my community to help guide me and refer clients. It's now been 15 years since I went to CTI coaching training, and I continue to be grateful for the path it set me on. It's working.

It sure can be hard to transition in the beginning, and just knowing it can be a long road is helpful so you'll prepare for a marathon not a sprint.

Re: 13 Signs You Could Have Chemical Sensitivity as an HSP

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Sat, 17 Feb 2024 15:41:47 -0000

This is a hard topic to face. So many times I have gotten a terrible migraine from perfume or cleaning products. I find it's not all of them, thankfully. It's hard to say to someone I can't be around this scent.
Here's a resource I have found from a specialist in environmental sensitivity and HSPs, Expansive Happiness.

Re: Rethinking Your Career? 4 Things HSPs Should Consider

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Fri, 17 Mar 2023 16:35:07 -0000

Since I wrote this article last year, I spent some time interviewing HSPs and introverts who left their jobs during the Great Resignation. I wanted to see how it was working out. Did they find something else? I captured their Great Resignation stories and comments here.

Re: How HSPs Can Stop Falling Into the People-Pleaser Trap

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Thu, 18 Aug 2022 07:45:31 -0000

Great list of tips. This stuff is especially critical if you want to have your own business and get paid a livelihood. Can’t say yes to everything. Even if it’s a client and you want to keep them happy. In other words we get tested extra when livelihood is at stake.
Being self-employed has forced me to get this and set boundaries. I got clear on where I would go the extra mile and where I won’t. And your ideas of slowing down, tune in to my own knowing before deciding, have been so helpful.

Re: Why Highly Sensitive People Are Attracted to Jobs That Burn Them Out

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Fri, 01 Apr 2022 11:09:44 -0000

Carolyn, Such great points about HSPs and our burnout risks. We tend to have big hearts and it can lead to big exhaustion if we're not careful. I discovered that I could still be in a helping role if I did it in ways that work with my energy, such as one-to-one and small group offerings instead of large group teaching, and not too many things in one day. I feel like I found my sweet spot so I can still care for others while caring for myself too.

It took time to find what works for me. And there can still be days where my cup overfills, but I use those days as signs for how to tweak things. The more tweaking, the better my life gets.

Re: Rethinking Your Career? 4 Things HSPs Should Consider

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Mon, 28 Mar 2022 10:05:51 -0000

Hi Shannon. I'm so glad you're connecting the dots with sensitivity as a key factor and that it's OK. I love your goal of a better life, with balance, helping others, creative, paying the bills, and being a good mom. It's a wonderful vision and it might not look like how others do it, and it might not happen quickly, but I imagine you can find a way with perseverance.

Re: Rethinking Your Career? 4 Things HSPs Should Consider

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Wed, 23 Mar 2022 10:42:32 -0000

Hi Alba, I'm glad you liked my article. I'm sorry your work is so draining. It's not your fault you're tired. Sounds like a bad fit indeed. I don't know what the 1.6 yrs thing is about but I wonder if there is a way for things to change sooner. There are more options than just the ones mentioned on this page. Some of the links here might also help. Feel free to write again. It's not whining to speak your truth.

Re: How to Combat Burnout When You’re a Highly Sensitive Person

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Wed, 03 Nov 2021 11:17:29 -0000

Lacie, I'm so glad you're writing about burnout for HSPs. It's a huge problem and I see it up close and personal as a career/business coach for HSPs.

I'm so glad many people are simply quitting their burnout jobs and rethinking their priorities and needs. I believe it can be different.

I have hit the burnout wall more than once in my career. The last time was 12 years ago when I finally decided I simply had to be self-employed and primarily work from home. That has made a huge difference for me and I've been thrilled to be able to make that work for all these years.

I still have to be careful about my energy and what/who I'm around, so it's an ongoing commitment. When I have good boundaries, then I can really be there for others in a healthy way when it's right.

One thing I continue to need to do is to rein myself in from committing to too many things. It might be the most important thing I do when I meet with my business/life coach. We look at what's on my plate and inevitably edit a bit out. I've had to get better at letting go. When I do that, I get the refreshing feeling of mind clarity and shoulders relaxing.

Re: The 7 Best Careers for a Highly Sensitive Person

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Fri, 04 Jun 2021 09:36:32 -0000

Such an important topic because we do need to choose our career path with care to make sure it works for our energy and our big hearts. I notice you have "Business Owner" on the list and I agree, but you mention it mainly in terms of leadership and having employees. We are also good at solo business ownership, such as consulting, coaching, healing arts professionals. The freedom is great, and you can still have a team of colleagues to call on as needed. As a solopreneur myself, it's been a great fit.
I wrote about more career ideas for HSPs here.

Re: The 9 Best Careers for an Introvert

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Fri, 11 Dec 2020 09:58:55 -0000

As a career/business coach for introverts, I can attest that this is a very good list you've created.

And so much depends on the specific team and cubicle setup. People need to understand that career and self-employment decisions are not just about the field, as you've indicated here, but also about so many other factors, like environment, your values, your other natural talents and experience, and the other people involved. It's nice to have a list of fields to help generate initial ideas, and then narrow down further by other factors important to you.

As the people in the comments here attest, an IT environment can be loud and people-y, even though it seems like it would be quiet. I love that you included B2B sales and I agree that's an unexpected area that has been great for introverts.

I have found for myself (and the people I know) that it's been critical to choose what my heart truly wants, because the energizing power from my heart can overcome the energy drain of the challenges.

Thanks for all your great work for introverts.

Re: 9 Best Business Ideas for Introverts Who Want to Be Self-Employed

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Mon, 09 Mar 2020 17:22:46 -0000

That's a topic near to my heart. Nice list! I like that you covered some that don't require much training and some that do. As a business/life coach for introverts, and an introvert myself, I thought the marketing would be harder for me but it wasn't. I had to learn how to do it in a way that fits my strengths instead of having to do it how I was told to do it by extroverts. By the way, introverts can be great public speakers and great at marketing. It's not just extrovert territory. We just have to work from our introvert strengths.

Re: You Ask, I Answer: The Lightning Round!

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Wed, 24 Oct 2018 12:12:34 -0000

Wow I love this format. I’m a Q&A content maker myself. It’s fun to see your style in the lightning round. You rocked it. So much gold answered there.

Re: Self-employment Ideas for Introverts

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Sat, 20 Jan 2018 10:03:00 -0000

I'm so glad you felt included. Way to go on trying many things. That's giving you good information and courage.
Of course this post couldn't solve it all. Wish it could. I'd love to hear what is now stuck.

Re: My Facebook Sabbatical: Nourishing My Mind, Body, and Soul.

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Thu, 30 Nov 2017 11:50:46 -0000

HI Marsha, I'm so glad you stopped by. I miss seeing you in the Introvert Clubhouse on FB. :-)

Re: Heart Qualities For Re-Setting Our Lives

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 11:52:50 -0000

exactly!

Re: An Illustrated Guide to Categorizing Yourself

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Wed, 07 Sep 2016 14:34:36 -0000

My MBTI results are all on spectrums. That to me is a critical part of the MBTI but a lot of people seem to miss that part. The results I see all have percentages.

Re: The Introvert’s Path from Pain to Confidence

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Wed, 18 May 2016 11:49:08 -0000

So glad to hear you're now on a path of growth and ease. You're right, not leisurely. It's a conscious effort, that pays off internally and externally.

Re: The Social Introvert: Introverted, or Just Rude?

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 16:49:52 -0000

@Sophia_Dembling I love this question and how you answered. I can relate to both sides of that story.

Re: Are You Feeling Drained by Social Events?

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Tue, 01 Dec 2015 15:15:14 -0000

I'm so glad you are clear on your limits. Thanks for adding your thoughts.

Re: 7 Ideas for Tackling Tough Conversations

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Tue, 27 Oct 2015 13:00:17 -0000

That's a great story @L S Miranda. Thank you for describing the details of how that worked and how it felt. Super helpful.

Re: 7 Ideas for Tackling Tough Conversations

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Sat, 24 Oct 2015 16:06:56 -0000

@Mari, that sounds like a tough situation on both ends - feeling overwhelmed with contact before you spoke up, and now wondering what's up with the friendship. I think the question is not about what is she thinking or if you did something wrong, but instead ask yourself what you want. When you are clear on what you want in that friendship or in friendship in general, then you can ask for it and feel confident that it's OK to want what you want. If it's not a good match for what the other person wants, then maybe that's OK. What I want in friendships is to be able to ask for things and for each of us to not take a "no" personally. Easier said than done but for me it's worth striving for.

Re: 7 Ideas for Tackling Tough Conversations

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Sat, 24 Oct 2015 16:01:06 -0000

That's fun. Thanks @Annette Vaillancourt

Re: Susan Cain on Teaching Introverted Children

Val Nelson HSP/Introvert Coach — Sat, 24 Oct 2015 15:21:42 -0000

Susan, thank you for talking so much about quiet kids and how schools and parents can be supportive. I was one of the kids that was quiet and miserable in school but am happier now.
Thanks to you and some of those understanding teachers you mention here, it seems like people are more aware of introversion and being more understanding of the quiet students. And yet I too have been the teacher struggling to get some participation going. I get both sides of this. Fortunately that means teachers are invested in helping those quiet students to participate.
When I teach a workshop or course now, I have some effective methods for allowing all kinds of voluntary participation, even with over a hundred people in the room. There are ways to be inclusive if we are dedicated to finding those ways and experimenting. I think it starts with a mindset of embracing all styles instead of cursing some of them.