Disqus - Friends of RobynMcIntyre

Re: You Can Be A Successful Corporate Escape Artist, if. . .

Steve Roesler — Tue, 13 May 2008 15:11:47 -0000

Hi, Robyn,

Lots of hard info out there regarding job satisfaction/dissatisfaction, desire to go out on one's own vs. move to another company. . .

Re: "Just Relax!" Can Cause Stress

Steve Roesler — Wed, 14 May 2008 20:03:38 -0000

Robyn, isn't it kind of fascinating that the mixed messages that govern our behavior (until we figure out differently) often originate in the home.

Parents are so important. Which is why every generation probably looks back and says, "I'm not going to that one with my kids!" :-)

Re: "Just Relax!" Can Cause Stress

Steve Roesler — Thu, 15 May 2008 12:20:08 -0000

Jackie,

After pondering this a bit more, I thought: "We do we do this?"

I suppose there are at least a couple of reasons:

1. We simply don't want to see the other person feeling badly (if that's the issue)

2. We don't want to look at our part in why that person may actually be feeling a certain way

3. We don't feel like taking the time to be a genuine friend and do what you suggest: give them some time and space to reflect and return if they want to.

I wonder what prevents us from automatically being quiet and giving them time to reflect? It seems like the easiest alternative.

Re: "Just Relax!" Can Cause Stress

Steve Roesler — Thu, 15 May 2008 12:24:09 -0000

Peter,

This is a hugely useful example of how this dynamic works; I think a follow-up would be a public service.

Re: It's A Viral World: Is Your Learning Contagious?

Steve Roesler — Sun, 18 May 2008 09:54:37 -0000

Melody, glad you took time to have a look.

When you think about business--small or large--and how young people are being prepared, or not--then you've got to look at whether or not the education community is looking long and hard at its effectiveness.

Thanks for stopping by and taking time to weigh in.

Re: "Just Relax!" Can Cause Stress

Steve Roesler — Sun, 18 May 2008 12:19:49 -0000

Wally,

I hadn't thought of that total dynamic until you laid out the entire sequence.

Certainly as youngsters we don't always have the capacity, experiences, and context (or maybe even the inclination) to really think about what we're hearing from our folks. At the same time, we may even be hearing snippets of conversations and don't necessarily question more deeply what we're hearing. So, we go off into life operating, in part, on snippets.

Perhaps the real learning for all of us is: take time to sit down with a wise counselor.

Re: "Just Relax!" Can Cause Stress

Steve Roesler — Sun, 18 May 2008 12:31:29 -0000

Jackie,

Your example is one of those that could be helpful to working people in all situations.

Time and space are great neutralizers of sudden and overwhelming emotions as well as important ingredients in decision making. With the kind of pressures people are expressing about work, that kind of "time out" can go a long way in both individual and group situations.

Re: "Just Relax!" Can Cause Stress

Steve Roesler — Sun, 18 May 2008 12:47:47 -0000

Jim, I think this is on-topic.

And I'm going to think more about your ideas of "Disciplining and Grounding your words to the occasion." That's a useful framework in which to think about conversations, especially ones that could easily arouse sensitivities.

The other thing that occurs to me after re-reading your comment is this: The action orientation most of us have when we're doing business leads us to feel obligated to end most conversations with some kind of commitment to action or a decision. In these cases, maybe the best action you can ask for is that you and the other person think about the conversation and then get back together to see if the time and space turned up any new ways of thinking about the situation--whatever it was. This way, both have responsibility and there isn't any pressure to make some kind of decision in the moment.

As I get ready to publish this, it seems that in the instance of emotional conversations, time and space are the common denominators.

Re: It's A Viral World: Is Your Learning Contagious?

Steve Roesler — Sun, 18 May 2008 12:57:32 -0000

Thanks, Jo,

When you get back, be sure to tell us how the audience enjoyed a presentation on irrelevance:-)

Re: "Just Relax!" Can Cause Stress

Steve Roesler — Sun, 18 May 2008 17:49:09 -0000

Peter,

Go right to the source?

Ah, the simplicity of truth.

Re: How to Un-Mix the Mixed Messages You Take To Work

Steve Roesler — Mon, 19 May 2008 10:06:31 -0000

Karl, don't we all have a built in mirror if we just take a look or hold it up for a friend?

Thanks for stopping by...keep up the good work there.

Re: How to Really Connect

Steve Roesler — Tue, 20 May 2008 10:00:26 -0000

David,

This is the kind of information that I hope we'll see more of from the people like Dr. Rakel and others in the professional community.

Re: How to Really Connect

Steve Roesler — Tue, 20 May 2008 13:21:29 -0000

Glad you spotted it, Dean.

Re: Talent: How to Make Strengths Even Stronger

Steve Roesler — Tue, 20 May 2008 17:26:15 -0000

Right, David. Hiding one's light under a bushel doesn't give anyone the benefit of the glow!

Re: Talent: How to Make Strengths Even Stronger

Steve Roesler — Tue, 20 May 2008 17:28:40 -0000

Thanks, Wally. And thanks for the citation. I had heard that line before but didn't know the source.

Re: Talent: How to Make Strengths Even Stronger

Steve Roesler — Tue, 20 May 2008 17:32:13 -0000

Cory, glad the timing is significant. The other commenters here--as well as myself--have been "independent" for as much as 30 years.

Much success. . .

Re: Talent: How to Make Strengths Even Stronger

Steve Roesler — Tue, 20 May 2008 23:47:51 -0000

Ann,

I would imagine that as you look at the performance management part of your practice, you recognize matches and mismatches. Not lack of talent, but lack of congruity with the organization.

This is an area that my clients are now taking quite seriously. The extra bit of time, assessment, and discussion ultimately serves everyone well, be it a hire or internal move.

Re: Talent: How to Make Strengths Even Stronger

Steve Roesler — Tue, 20 May 2008 23:51:13 -0000

Right, Robyn, that's a discussion we had here not long ago.

Here's an (unsolicited:-) suggestion: Start doing something close to what you think you want to do. You'll find out pretty quickly what you need to do to fine tune it. In the absence of action--or divine intervention--it's impossible to get a good read on things without an experiential base.

Re: Three Ways To Persuade

Steve Roesler — Wed, 21 May 2008 21:45:35 -0000

Well, Robyn, maybe this is one more realization in the quest for clearer direction?!

Re: How to Un-Mix the Mixed Messages You Take To Work

Steve Roesler — Wed, 21 May 2008 22:33:39 -0000

Bill,

Yes, Wally's dad was a pastor with a fascinating ministry in Manhattan.

I'm always taken aback when my adult daughter re-plays a comment from years ago along with what it led her to (innaccurately) believe about me or about a situation. With all of the love and teaching we try to provide our children, it turns out that life can turn on the very kinds of sound bites that we eschew. And that simply increases the importance of family discussions vs. family SUVs passing each other on the way to one more scheduled activity. Misunderstandings as a result of omission are, nonetheless, misunderstandings.

In addition to your highlights of how Jesus spent the bulk of his adult life as well as the Pentateuch view of work as a labor of love, the faithful could have a look at Genesis 2:15 where God gave the man the tasking of working and caring for the garden. This was chronologically before the fall in the following chapter. Yet, many in pulpits worldwide treat work as a result of the fall rather than a gift that had been given during a period of perfection.

To their credit, a number of pastors have asked if they could join me during a consulting assignment or meeting in order to see what the "workplace out there" is really like. For obvious reasons of dynamics and confidentiality, that doesn't work out very often.

Many people are looking, in part, for work to be a satisfying, fulfilling, and spiritual experience. Pastors have the audience and the opportunity to connect in a meaningful way with those who are seeking direction on just how to do that.

Re: The "Be Unique and Get With The Program" Dilemma

Steve Roesler — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:33:55 -0000

Peter,

Indeed, individuality doesn't necessarily equate with "better___".

Perhaps the question needed to be asked and honestly answered is, "Do you want to make a contribution in your unique way or do you just want to be different?"

Re: Three Ways To Persuade

Steve Roesler — Thu, 22 May 2008 16:49:59 -0000

Melody,

Human nature + keeping costs down seems to steer us toward toward wanting an "all things for all occasions" employee.

As you point out, it's easier to master one, especially when you start to zero in on the one that's most "you." Then, the individual stands a good chance of seeing the kind of product, service, and sales process that's going to be a good fit for all concerned.

The article was prompted by a client meeting. They were making "team" presentations to prospective clients but didn't have the right mix. So, the task became finding the right mix. The fascinating solution was that we found a woman in technical services--not sales-- who knew the product intimately and had the unifying/negotiating talents along with it.

Re: The "Be Unique and Get With The Program" Dilemma

Steve Roesler — Thu, 22 May 2008 17:04:52 -0000

Jo,

Perhaps there is a valid reason for that?

Re: The "Be Unique and Get With The Program" Dilemma

Steve Roesler — Fri, 23 May 2008 15:16:45 -0000

Jo,

Gee, I'm not annoyed...trying to figure out how I sent that message.

There's a lot of decent research out there regarding young learners and groups. It sounds as if you've tapped into that quite effectively Isn't learning fascinating?

Memorial Day is the day we honor all of those who have died in service to the U.S.

Re: The "Be Unique and Get With The Program" Dilemma

Steve Roesler — Fri, 23 May 2008 17:29:30 -0000

Mike,

Wouldn't it be unbelievably useful to find the answer to that question?

At minimum, it has been my observation that the human condition prefers to caste blame before finding "cause." And blame is often tied to a sort of scapegoating using people we "don't like." Why we don't like them is very individual.

Yet, as you point out, when we're working on something we're supposedly focused on a shared outcome of "what" and "how." It looks as if "who" often plays much more of a role than it should.