Disqus - Latest Comments for Raelene

Re: The Arbitrary Nature Of Blaming God

Raelene — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 00:34:22 -0000

Words can't begin to explain how much I needed to read this. Without going into detail, just wanted to say thanks.

Re: What Would Jesus Get On The Myers-Briggs

Raelene — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 18:54:43 -0000

Nuclear Sub Base...very cool...and impressive.

Oh yes, I agree with you about it being a starting point, people selecting responses based on who they would like to be, and there being many other things to look at that seperate the exceptional from those who are not. I like to use it as a starting point, as a way to "give permission" for the employees to talk about themselves and to see the importance of opening up. And I say "give permission" because although Corporate talks like they encourage employees to invest in themselves and understand one's core values, the non-human workload and the 8 meetings per day basically doesn't allow an employee the time to discover these things (unless they use their own personal time...which would be awesome if people actually did.)

It's from this starting point that I've witnessed people open up and be willing to have transparent dialogue with their peers and so I start with the personality test. It sets the tone, "let's talk about you." But, the part that is the true value is the dialogue that comes from that starting point; we can then discover/hear people's passions, interests, and what they want to contribute. From there, we determine the "Do-er" from the "PM", etc.

So, basically, I think personality tests are a safe way for me to encourage people to talk about themselves and open up that dialogue. Unfortunately, in the workplace, I have to tip-toe around approaches for getting people to see and talk about their value.

Re: What Would Jesus Get On The Myers-Briggs

Raelene — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 14:15:45 -0000

For some reason it won't let me log into the main forum. (I hope my three attempts doesn't post it three times. : ) So, I figure I'll post under yours, David.

I feel, those who would allow such a test to limit themselves probably limit themselves regardless.

I find much value in personality tests, especially for those who have never invested time/effort to discover who they are, because it gives them a great starting point. In addition, some people who know themselves may not be able to articulate it. Again, the descriptions of one’s stengths/traits, from the tests, give ideas for how to articulate it.

Being in a leadership role, in business, for over 12 years, I've learned this is the VERY best start, for most people I've managed, to begin the process of understanding their strengths, development opportunities, communication style, intelligences, etc., to then know how to articulate them during an interview, when explaining their top skill-sets, etc. The first thing I do with my employees is have them take a personality test. When I give them a performance review, based on their metric results and my observations of their performance, nearly 95% of the time their performance matched the exact areas the personality test showed were strengths/challenges.

When I organize a project team, the first thing I have the committee do is take a personality test, share the results with their project team, and from there determine the "Team Role" they feel each person should take on, based on the information. (Personality tests can help point out who should be a "Do-er" vs. the "Project Manager.") In addition, I have them brainstorm/develop a communication strategy, based on the results and after meaningful dialogue, for potential project team conflict, etc. because of personality differences. The feedback I've received from employees is that this has been the best approach for them to see people objectively, not get frustrated by differences in personality (because they have insight into the differences from the start), and I've witnessed we don't set the wrong expectations regarding what we expect each person to produce.

However, going back to my original point, I don't believe the test is what causes people to limit themselves, I believe it's that they go into it already limiting the Self.

Re: Question To Ponder

Raelene — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 12:37:27 -0000

I believe so.

What exists and what we are aware of are independent from each other, in my opinion. Once we acknowledge something is when existence and awareness can have evolve and have a deeper relationship, but my acknowledgment of it isn't required for it to exist...thank God!

Thankfully, God's gives me (and us) Grace, even when I don't deserve or acknowledge it. What I have sensed, deeply, from the Divine within me, tells me He and His Grace fills me, even through the times I didn't acknowledge it.

Re: Unconditional Love

Raelene — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 17:55:46 -0000

Thanks, David. I appreciate it.

Re: Unconditional Love

Raelene — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 12:56:06 -0000

(I’ll probably listen to this video clip 10 more times because I love it!)

A friend of mine recently asked, “Have you ever been in love?”, and I can honestly say, based on what I know now (and understand about love), no, I haven’t been in love. This video clip helps me to put words to what I was trying to explain to her.

“…our love is based on something which tells me it’s not really unconditional…”

I have chosen to toss out my mental list of conditions--that I previously expected to be met--for me to love or receive love. As I’ve learned how to get closer to God these past couple of years, I’ve learned my “list” is not what leads me to love; it already exists within me, and until I am fully satisfied with His love, and truly living in the flow of it, I’ll never be capable of giving unconditional love. (I’m still shocked that I am starting to love my x-husband, not because I feel he has “earned” or “deserves” it, but as I walk further into my relationship with God, loving my enemies organically occurs…even when I don’t want to love my enemies. My divorce process, in my opinion, hasn’t ended until I can love my enemy.)

Even though I choose vulnerability, I’ve learned/experienced, with that comes pain. The more I put myself out there and selflessly love others (including my enemies), the more I experience feelings of rejection. I imagine this is probably how God felt every time he wanted to embrace me but I ignored him and chose not to receive His love. Regardless of the pain that comes with being vulnerable, getting closer to God and further understanding love has been the absolute greatest experience I have ever had.

Re: Giving Presence

Raelene — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 23:26:32 -0000

I didn't see this back in Nov...I agree 100%, David, and impossible to keep the tears in on this one.

Re: Question To Ponder

Raelene — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 11:25:30 -0000

Based on my observations and conversations with people who are afraid of pleasure, it seems it's because:

1. It's reveals the absence of discipline.
I'm not saying everyone has lack of self-control but I've noticed the people who are afraid of pleasure seem to feel guilty for their mind wandering, fantasizing, "stuck" on thoughts of pleasure, being further curious, etc.

2. Insecurities are heightened.
For some of the women who I've had conversations with about this topic, they feel the most insecure and vulnerable when thinking about sex. They don't even have to be in the act for those insecurities to own them. Just thinking about sex stirs up anxiety whether it be an insecurity about themselves physically or an insecurity about not being capable of experiencing intimacy with sexual pleasure.

Re: Why Are Christians Judgmental?

Raelene — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 01:24:25 -0000

When I used to be one of those judgmental Christians, it was because I was seeing others' value using my subjective evaluation. Since reading your book and "What's so Amazing About Grace?", I've learned I left God out of the process and took on the role of the judge for him. When it made sense to give back the burden of being the judge, and see, using God's objective, I'm no longer judgmental.

So for me, I was judgmental because I didn't know another way of seeing it. I thought seperating myself from "them" was the right thing to do based on tradition and beliefs that were passed down to me throughout life.

Re: A Question To Ponder

Raelene — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 13:55:31 -0000

Hello David. I don't feel it's a hinderance to focus on self if the root of the motivation is being in alignment with God and love, starting with us, because until that alignment is consistent, we aren't matured enough to be an example of/contribute to world change. People need an example of what we're talking about when we say we're Christian. And it's very fine line that can actually push someone away from getting closer to the Lord if we can't be the example.

I guess what I'm saying is I don't believe we can be the total package for others if we aren't, ourselves, the total package in action in our own lives. No, it shouldn't stop there, but I believe it needs to start there.

(People may tend to focus so much on changing themselves, but I often see that it's because they aren't basing the judgment of themselves starting with God's judgment, that we are "Very good.")

Re: A Question To Ponder

Raelene — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 13:13:59 -0000

I'm convinced the most productive way to change the world is starting with ourselves.

If we want more love in the world we have to give more love. I've witnessed people talking about God and Love and quoting scripture as if they have the Bible memorized, but it's often I see those same people who have tension in their own families, wives or husbands who feel like strangers in their own homes, families who ride to Church in the same car but the husband or wife haven't even touched eachother the whole way there, people who will be the first to give to the poor or help a child in need but haven't noticed their wife's new haircut or a wife not recognizing her man craves her intimacy, etc. There is so much we can do, that is within our control, and until the practice of love, at the foundation in our own lives, is automatic, how can we possibly be genuinely infectious for others?

We can't "go Global" until we've strengthened the neural circuitry in our own hearts and brains, by practicing, with those who are standing right next to us every day.

I'm still recognizing the opportunities to practice these things, and it's not easy, but every step I take to get close to that, I'm already witnessing what it produces in others and it's a beautiful thing! I'm not starting with the world, I'm starting with me so I can be an authentic, consistent, example of what I'm "preaching" when I then share the answers to people's question, "How is it that you can be so happy all the time?" And most importantly, the people in our lives, "behind closed doors" should be able to answer that for me. (If I'm truly living proof of what I'm encouraging.)

Re: Love The Way You Lie/Needing To Feel

Raelene — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 21:12:10 -0000

I'm speechless. Your analysis is amazing. This is one of my fav posts of yours.

...So the cross is God saying, “Release your anger onto me. I am the only place you can put it.” Love it.

Re: A Call For Submissons

Raelene — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 12:25:42 -0000

My immediate internal reaction was a feeling of "panic", which only means there's a good story to tell. I'll think about it.

Re: A Call For Submissons

Raelene — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 12:19:11 -0000

This is awesome! I wish I could read all the stories now.

Re: A Question to Ponder

Raelene — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 12:56:06 -0000

I will admit I grasp the suggestions in Jonathan's book better than I can articulate it back, so I highly recommend to read it. I agree with having trouble with truth being relative, because Truth should be objective using God's judgment. "Not all that God created was good"....I get where you're coming from with that. But if God said we are "very good", I'll stick with that foundation. I don't want the responsibility of carrying the weight of being the judge, so I'll leave it up to God. : )

Re: A Question to Ponder

Raelene — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 12:15:11 -0000

Hello David.

I’ve broken up a few sentences from Jonathan’s book, but the below is from Discovering the God Imagination:

"The only way to lose what is true is to lose God's perspective, to lose the objective basis for judgment...And all we have is our relative experience that resides as data...The very thing we use to base truth on becomes relative, and we suffer the consequences."

I believe we are a Child of God when God creates us and that is the reality. But unfortunately, many people, including myself, have not allowed our hearts/minds to start with this foundation of reality. We search for evidence every day to support what we believe is truth until it “feels” like we’ve gathered enough evidence, often emotional evidence. Once we can put those relative experiences/judgments aside and see our value through God’s objective basis for judgment, the discovering that it always existed can finally take place in our minds. So the Truth (God states we are “very good”) always existed but until I start with that judgment, my mind has not yet been enlightened. God wants us to see ourselves through his lens and when we can do so, we become child-like and can then maturely grow and our branches can bear “good” fruit because the root was God’s Truth, not my broken, insecure and confused truth. If God created us and said we are “very good”, I will gladly start with that Truth. Why not?

Re: A Question to Ponder

Raelene — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 01:45:30 -0000

Definitely the mind! We "become" when we discover what already exists from God.

Re: A Question to Ponder

Raelene — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 12:05:34 -0000

When we grasp, understand and desire Truth, we "become" a child of God.

He calls us his children and are his children since he created us, but until we live in the Truth of God's judment, we haven't "become", in my opinion.

Re: Why Do We Seek God?

Raelene — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 12:25:22 -0000

For me, I knew there was something more than just me. And I suppose I also didn't want to believe my life was limited to just me and my "broken" mind. There was a longing for more and a need for release of burdens that I myself could not handle on my own. After these initial reasons, the reasons mature as I grow to know God and have the desire to praise him, rather than just need him for selfish reasons.

Re: The Problem Isn’t Divorce

Raelene — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 11:59:52 -0000

Holding onto love through it all is certainly the hard part. Especially when it started with the wrong understanding of what love is. It seems to me, people tend to marry to fulfill something and unless two people start out whole, remain whole, and can mesh together through life, marriage seems crazy to me. I think people give their "best" up until they marry. I find that trend quite interesting and the reason I'm definitely not motivated to do it again.

Re: The Problem Isn’t Divorce

Raelene — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 10:43:55 -0000

Brilliant, indeed.

One of my problems with the idea of marriage is how can someone possibly know they want, desire and can stay committed to their selected partner for the rest of their life? And many people look at me with disgust when I ask that because they assume that means I am not capable of being loyal. I am capable of it, but without knowing what's to come when we are 50, 60, 70, etc. how can we possibly make decisions of such important commitment? It seems to me, it's not just that we don't know how to be married, but we also may not know what we are committing to when we commit to it.

Re: When Did You Become Human

Raelene — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 12:39:07 -0000

I understand I became human the moment I was created, but I didn't truely realize and embrace that until I lost everything. (Divorce, all material things, etc.) I suppose there was then space and desire to seek and feel more.

Re: A Question To Ponder

Raelene — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 21:57:14 -0000

Grace.

Re: Our Relationship To Fear

Raelene — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 12:07:54 -0000

Awesome...I can't wait to see what you develop.

Re: Our Relationship To Fear

Raelene — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 12:00:39 -0000

I think we do that because we think not believing/acting on the information, presents a greater risk. When something is unknown, we seem to either find evidence to make sense of it, even if temporarily, or just process what we’re being told as truth. There’s comfort when we think we understand. (I love this video clip. I need to hire him to do some knowledge condensing in my brain.)