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Re: Arranged Marriages and Intercultural Relationships

Muna — Mon, 11 May 2009 12:52:33 -0000

Maya,

I was in the same situation as yours. It was love at first sight for us too. ever since we have decided to be together, the first set of paranoia has rushed into me, making me crazy with the thought of loosing him. in the earlier stage of our relationship, even though it was such a bliss, you know the honeymoon kind of bliss, of getting to know each other phase, I was not fully satisfied with the way our relationship goes. I love him, and I know he loves me too but there's a thought been nagging at the back of my head, telling me that i'm going to loose him, just because we're different, and he comes all the way from different country. However, now that i've overcome the fear of loosing HIM, i'm able to relax a bit. only there's another thought that comes thudding into my mind-that his family wont accept me!
Maya,
Like you, i need help too.
S.O.S!

Re: Arranged Marriages and Intercultural Relationships

Muna — Mon, 11 May 2009 12:17:51 -0000

the idea of an upper-caste brahman 'ladka' being mingling with a muslim 'ladki' (so called untouchable for being a meat-consumer) is so foreign, that his traditional parents can never fathom. my bf has once mentioned to me that his father wouldn't even allow him to talk to a muslim. in fact in his entire family, there is no one who dares to break the rules, except for his uncle, who decides to marry a muslim ladki, even then, she is a desi. not a ladki who is thousand of miles away from their country.

because of this, we used to have lots of endless argument. me being tired of waiting him to break the news to his parents. him being jittery in telling the truth, not wanting to disappoint them. but reading your posts have helped me a lot in understanding what it takes to be in this intercultural relationship.

thanks GoriGirl =)

Re: Arranged Marriages and Intercultural Relationships

Muna — Mon, 11 May 2009 11:29:20 -0000

Maya I could totally relate to your situation.
Im a Malaysian, a Muslim, but my other half is a Nepali, a Hindu by religion, growing up in a rather straight Brahman's family. We've been together for more than 2years now. the thing that has been bothering me is the fact that even though we've talked about being serious, about him converting into Muslim and settling down here in Malaysia, his parents still have no idea of our relationship. it bothers me so much knowing that i will never be welcomed into his family.
GoriGirl, u know u're lucky. =)