Disqus - Latest Comments for Heather_Fowler

Re: LitPark Question of the Month: 2010

Heather_Fowler — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 15:23:05 -0000

Hey Susan,

Okay. My writing goals for 2010--write 2 new novels. That don't suck. Get major agent. Sell one of two said novels. Publish stories, back to back and front to front, print, online, wherever. Get the 400 poems I'm sitting on out and being submitted. Win a book-length short fiction contest and get a book of my stories out. Work on the other seven books of stories in progress.

Edit, edit, edit. Shine, shine, shine. :)

Rinse. Wash. Repeat. LOL!

Nothing like realistic goals, right, Susan? Sheesh. Yeah, well, that's what I'd like to do.

Love,
H

Re: Book Deal!

Heather_Fowler — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 16:34:13 -0000

It's the realest real book there ever was. I'll even make a spot of honor for it ON TOP of my desk in the book-infested reading and writing room. :) *grins* Fifty times congrats! Love, h

Re: Book Deal!

Heather_Fowler — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 18:07:39 -0000

This is SO awesome and soooooo deserved!! Congrats, Sue! I will buy that novel the second it goes on pre-order. A million hugs and congrats to you!! Love, h

Re: Question of the Month: Amazon, B&N or Indie?

Heather_Fowler — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 23:49:10 -0000

I am late, but pop in for this question anyway. :) I'm rather indiscriminate. I buy books wherever I can get them. At readings, which are often in bookstores, I'll buy. I'll buy them at garage sales, at swap meets, at Borders and Barnes and Noble. Yes, I do use Amazon.com--for quick finds I don't want to forget about when friends tell me book titles they think I should read. I also buy straight from the authors since I like signed books. :) I'll buy from independent presses too. Right now, a lot of independent presses are getting my business because of social networking--a Facebook or MySpace friend has a book come out and I like to buy his or her book when possible. :)

But I am a Borders binge shopper for childrens' lit and classical lit and compilations of work by favorite writers. About online buying, it also depends on whether I'm trying to avoid that binge shopping. I do kind of like Amazon because it is quick and merciful to buy a single book--or three--and CHECK OUT--a feat I can rarely pull off in the coffee scented aisle on aisle book meccas... Not to mention what day of the week it is--on Monday or Tuesday I'm likely to do Amazon.com because the weekend (when I'd have time to shop) is too far away--must acquire faith in book coming now-- and I have scores of books lined up to read already, so it's not like I'm in a rush, but I like that once the book is ordered, I can rest assured whatever I hoped for will be a lovely mail surprise.

Oddly, I don't like used books much. (I prefer to break my own spines, throw them around, and otherwise molest them, thank you. LOL!) So I don't do much used book store shopping--but sometimes I buy books from booksales at libraries, where I don't mind buying them used because old library books have good karma. Also, 50 cents to a buck at the library sale, 6 to 9 bucks at the used book store? At neither place does the author get more profit, so it seems like a no brainer, especially if I am "taking a chance" on a book by an unknown (to me) author...

I know, this makes no sense... *grins* But you asked. Hi, Susan! xo, H

Re: Question of the Month: Endurance

Heather_Fowler — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:31:09 -0000

xo! I should correct myself here. The quote is "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Funny, huh, how I have internalized the message now and think it spoke to "me." *grins*

Re: Question of the Month: Endurance

Heather_Fowler — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 15:58:42 -0000

You know, Susan, I love to hear about the ones who have been at it for decades without commercial success yet because I think this experience is far more common than any sort of instant celebrity. Some days, I start on a self-kicking cycle of, "Wasted. All these years wasted. Why can't I get it together? More than a decade. What now? Why can't I make myself get more work out? Should I self publish? Would that ruin my desired career as an academic down the line? What should I do? Edit more? Network more? More conferences? I should have done an MBA. I should have gone into Psychology. I could try to force those novel ideas out. I could A,B,C,D..." And then I also meditate on the idea that sometimes a credential like a professorial appointment or a connected mother/father or a wealthy contact is all that is the difference between acceptances at top-tier venues--and rejections--hello, unfair hardly plumbed slushpile of doom--what happened to talent being the criteria?! Also, I think it's criminal that it is a nearly well-substantiated fear that book-length contests that request lists of pubs at the start of manuscripts sometimes do use these lists in biased ways that impact how far a manuscript will go in any given competition... And then I feel depressed about that. Also, as I move along in my discovery route, what has really depressed me in the last few years is that many people I thought of as GODS of LITERATURE as an undergrad and during my first few years of submitting are not, many of them, even getting decent pay for their brilliant work. Yet they are still the torch-bearers, the light spreaders, the people I admire more than the wealthiest people on the planet. So I think, now more than ever, after years of doing this for me, your point about getting your message out is key. And refusing to forget that what you do, what you put out there, could be life-changing or reinforcing for someone else two days or two hundred years from now--it is common for writers to die in shame and poverty, after all--so maybe we just need to not focus on current signs-of-the-market or our length of time-spent-doing versus success...

(I choose to believe I will be ever so famous when I'm dead, so try very hard to not worry about it now. *grins*)

I do try ever so hard to write what matters to me, though--and remember the thanks I feel towards other writers who have opened up new ideas for me creatively and given me permission to go my own way regardless of the societal/commercial outcome.. And I'm sure you and I both know that sublime moment when we read something that makes our hearts expand, makes us feel like the air is rarefied and precious, like our children are more beautiful than ever to us, that our life is so special as we come up gasping for breath after a book that we rejoice in consuming because of the beauty that someone created that gave us awe, AWE we then wanted to pass on with our own work to new unknown audiences who might need our specific voice for one reason or another. Yeah, that.

Perseverance could just be a special brand of acknowledged debt to those who came before and the refusal to believe our words aren't worthy of whatever we want from them. I love the following quote by Eleanor Roosevelt and I think of it often as I sit at work at my dayjob, on days when I'd rather be writing, when I sometimes worry about the damaging effects of rejection on my self-view and how hard it may be to make it: "No one can make me feel inferior without my consent." Man, this quote helps me focus every single time. "That's right, Eleanor!" I say.

So if it takes me fifty years to make it, that student or reader who comes along sixty years later might be glad I kept trying, oblivious to my long haul as I have been oblivious to the long haul of many of my mentors. And making it--"making it" is relative. On the days someone says something sweet to me like, "I remember that story you wrote about xxx," and it was a story I published a decade ago, I say: "Yeah, mama! That is the shiznit right there! Someone remembered one of MY stories for a ten year period! Wow, I love what I do. I am the bomb! I will be remembered! I WAS remembered and how cool is that? Very cool!" *grins*

(I might have to do the happy, grateful dance then, too.) xo! H

Re: Question of the Month: Endurance

Heather_Fowler — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 10:48:17 -0000

Great question.

Well, I do many things--but usually come back to the same idea I had before, which is I can't stop writing, so why beat myself up for it? I use my creative blog on MySpace to do new challenges and keep me rolling. When I try to focus on just submitting, on researching query stuff, on focusing on a novel I am not interested in, I realize that I get bitter and overwhelmed. So, I have a friend I pay to handle my submissions (since this is where a lot of my neurosis comes from--OCD edit again, doubt, fear, etc)--which is more a labor of love on her part since the pay is a pittance, but it allows me the relief to know that someone is sending my work out (so at least something is happening) and I can strictly focus on the joyful part, which is the creation of new art and work. I have also created a database that will log all subs and autogenerate cover letters and give me access to reports that can help me down the line with compiling CVs and that sort of thing. This is not the best system. I have sold/published about 25 stories and some poems (of 240 short stories and about 400 poems). I rip my hair out about trying to force myself to compile booklengths and whether to ship them to contests, but I have hope because I keep writing, because I keep connecting with other writers, because I realize that whatever break I next have (no matter what level of my career I may be at), the writing is the THING. That is the joy spot.

And whether I get a first contract for a book of poems, a book of stories, a novel--really doesn't matter because each stage of the process has its own nervous and frightening resonances--i.e. you have secured an agent, but s/he hasn't yet sold your book; s/he has sold your book, but the editing and production stage are taking forever, not to mention what does self-promotion mean?; your book comes out, but how will it be reviewed and what back-breaking level of traveling or emailing or interviewing can you do and will it help?; you've had one book and your second begins the same laborious process all over again, only it will either cement or sink your career; you may have two books, but other people have ten--why don't you?; you have ten books, but some of them are from presses that didn't give you the visibility as Joe Schmoe writer over there who had one book at 23 and was picked by Oprah, so now can live off of his work; maybe you even had a book picked by Oprah, critics loved it, the public bought it, you were announced an instant genius, except, except, except there is unbearable pressure about what your next book or books will do and for the next twenty years, you know that after that book, that high, you will be forever sad and bewildered that your next novels/stories/works don't get quite that same attention, which you can't even gauge anymore--but have you lost it? Your talent? Are you less good now? Was that your golden goose; it's nice that you have a golden goose but maybe the top periodicals are tired of you, maybe you've taken other jobs or are spending all your time reading other people's work; maybe you even win one of those Nobel prizes or Guggenheim fellowships or a Pulitzer--but, in the end, you wake up everyday and all you want is to feel the excitement and joy that writing gave you before you had so many terrible, beautiful considerations about fame, placement, publication--because you are a writer. Because you don't want to envy or be envied. You want to create. Because all you really want to do is meet interesting people, continue your love affair with words, and be as happy as you can so that you don't Kurt Cobain the situation one day.

Well, there you have it. You're just fine as long as you're creating. Submitting is good. It will be lovely to get moving on that ladder, provided you can be as oblivious as possible while you are traveling it (as you make and gain friends who will help you weather whatever storms your notice may get you), but the ink is dripping, spilling out, you have a story to tell. You want to tell it. And you let it take you away into the only place you are truly transcendental to your current real-world worries and thoughts--the place of creation. And you like it there, so you stay--for as long as humanly possible. You write and you read and you write and you read some more. You try not to lose your wonder. And then you get up and do it again.

Love,
H

Re: Dan Conaway, Literary Agent (part 1)

Heather_Fowler — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 00:13:27 -0000

Isn't that a hilarious thing? And heartbreaking? A band on MySpace had this wonderful expression on their profile that made me smile and cringe--"An overnight sensation...after ten years playing the bar-scene..." I love pitching my first novel as my "debut" novel--when I have 190 short stories and 400 poems and more than a decade's worth of writing done *in the dark* so to speak. But, what can you do? *grins* I plan to just write a few more novels and THEN I'll have 3 novels to play Russian Roulette with as to which can stake the claim as being my first, according to market/luck/fate.

Ha! I enjoyed this interview! Your agent is a good man, too.

Note to self: Stamina! Right. That means stop letting rejection or infraction become a PTSD excuse for inaction. &c It's beautiful, your statement above about healing others and wielding power and honesty for good aims. I always do feel that way when I come to LitPark--like it is the fabulous, expansive zone of Susan's beating heart. I am SO BUYING YOUR NOVEL the second it comes out. :)

Re: (Extra) Question of the Month: Halloween

Heather_Fowler — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 22:58:52 -0000

Okay, okay, I'm here. :) Being that I have the memory of a goldfish at times, I'll tell a story that involves last year's pathetic attempt at reveling in my howling Halloween fetishist spirit. Well, I was a can-can girl and then, because I love the gore of good Halloween decorations, I decided to be a dead can can girl. Well, this wasn't quite enough to slake my October blood and costume lust, so I had to be vampiric, too. I put on the spooky Halloween music. We switched the doorbell to blood-curdling scream mode--and I opened the door each time with vampire teeth bared, handing out candy to tots coming into my spooky atrium festively decorated with heads on stakes, tombstones, blood worms, a working blood fountain, a fog creating machine, a severed limb, freaky lights, bloody (jelly, stick-on) handprints on the big glass windows, and of course spider webs (I may have forgotten a few decor items, loving Halloween as I do--nothing is too intense), but I was kind to the wee Dorothys and Witches and Football Players and Skeletons--so therefore had done NOTHING exciting all night.

I realized this and began stuffing my face with single-serving chocolate to make up for my lack of excitement. This went on and on. Well, it was getting toward the end of the evening, and I had a perverse urge to at least try and scare someone before Halloween ended, even had a plan that involved some string and a creepy spider or something that would be lowered in a lever system to land on a visitor's head, but that was too hard to rig up between trick or treaters. So anyway, I'm desperately wondering what I can do to make this night more creepy and following this eight year old boy and another little girl out of my atrium to check the street traffic, thinking, "Aww--I didn't even scare anyone tonight! What a pity."

And then, the little boy in front of me says outloud, with slight scoff, as I silently pad up behind him, "That house wasn't that scary." So I reach out and grab him really fast and simultaneously let out this huge snarling shriek that scares the sh-- out of him.

Well he's at my outer atrium door and I realize then I have an audience of ten or twelve kids and some parents. He jolts. He looks terrified. I think he'll appreciate this and laugh in a minute; really I do...BUT THEN he starts WEEPING! Crying and weeping! He's hysterical! In front of my house! With his parents watching! And I realize, I have traumatized a developmentally disabled child! Oh, the misery!

I scared the one kid who couldn't handle it! And he would not stop bawling. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I kept saying. I felt like a murderer or a VERY BAD person. Sheesh. All I wanted was a little fun. Leave it to me, the perpetually guilty and nice, to scare the retarded boy. (Am I allowed to say "retarded" any more?) Anyway, I felt terrible all night. He'll probably have nightmares of my face. And the shriek was pretty scary. My husband, of course, thought the whole thing was funny. Very. Even my post-mean-urge-mistake-realized-misery.

So, I'll be a pirate this year. Alive. Nothing scary at all for those under eighteen! Those over eighteen, however, I may show my knife collection, bottles of rum, and multiple plank-walking manuals.... Ha! xo!

Re: Question of the Month: Bookshelf

Heather_Fowler — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 23:53:25 -0000

I have three, two-door (with glass to avoid dust) bookshelves and two sets of bookends. My husband's books have largely been moved to the garage or the patio... This was a slow migration... Infer what you will--though he does have some books, mostly scientific or physics related on the main shelves, but my books fill the majority of the cases--literature, yes, plus teaching materials, plus umpteen "novel structuring" or "plot guidelines" books that would serve better as paperweights since they more resemble the exercise fad purchase that looks great as you watch the ad but arrives and then is abandoned-- than anything I've ever seriously consulted. They are about to be down-sized, only I can't make myself give them away because I can't say anything good about them except, "They're new! Look, you can even write in the workbook parts of them," and would feel inauthentic as anything other than an un-shopper to say something more than that, so they aren't worth the pimp-off. They may end up at the library. Because I have filled these shelves completely, one set of book ends is used atop two of them, side by side, approx 6 1/2 feet shoved together, to hold the books I want to get to that I bought in a frenzy of American capitalism and name recognition at one store or another, but haven't yet read. I thought if I put them on top of the bookshelf instead of inside of it, they might be more tempting. Hey, there's a book! I could just grab it! Alas, I cannot even inventory the names of those, nor are they alphebetized. I hardly go and check them at all. And then, once space ran out there, I cleared the top of my oak rolltop desk of orchids and pretty objects and now use the other set of book-ends there for another four feet or so of books. These books are the ones I either really want to read, I just read so am still contemplating, or I LOVE and must have near me. All are novels, short stories, philosophy, and poetry. A sampling of them would be Best of American Short Fiction 2005, Dear Everybody by Michael Kimball (just read, it was great!), a few Rick Moody books I've read recently (Wow! He's the bomb!), Alan Ginsberg, Collected Poems, The Viking Portable Library Nietzsche, Temporary People by Steven Gillis, Without Wax by William Walsh, Tim O'Brien's The Things They Carried, Willa Cather's Lost Lady, The Best American Non-Required Reading 2007, Erotic Love Poems from India; The Girl in the Flammable Skirt by Aimee Bender, Ficciones by Borghes, and The Stories of Vladimir Nabokov---plus many more.

Then there are unshelved books that seem to be multiplying all over the house. Those in the kid's bathroom, those forgotten on nightstands, those in the living room shelves that are blended with kids books and cookbooks, etc. Additionally, in their bedrooms, each child has his or her own bookcase, filled with children's literature.

There is no real organization. ;) This would be what I will do when I have more time and can organize them. Now, it's kind of like: If I want to read the book, I need to put it where I'm going to trip over it as I'm walking around. That helps. The tripping. I almost fall, and then I'm like, "Oh! Oh here it is! I've been wanting to read this!"

A post-it on the forehead works, too. *grins*

xo!
H

Re: Monthly Wrap: A 30-Year-Old Letter Arrives

Heather_Fowler — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 11:37:05 -0000

Isn't it funny how the little gifts and small bags of things that were magical to us as children still evoke such a strong, loved feeling? I used to marvel for hours at the illustrations on stickers and still remember things my father sent me in the mail (he lived in Washington state)--like a dozen long stemmed chocolate roses.

I love this story about your grandmother! Cheers and hello! That's all I really popped in to say.

W&B, H

Re: DimeStories

Heather_Fowler — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 15:27:45 -0000

Sweet! Let me know if you're ever about to blow into town. ;) I'd love to get together. You going to AWP this year? I will be there and am hoping to meet many writer friends in person! xo, H

Re: DimeStories

Heather_Fowler — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 10:08:48 -0000

As a local San Diegan who goes to their monthly live reading and LOVES it, (Sorry I missed last time, Amy! Don't beat me. I'll bring the doctor's note to the next one ) I can tell you from experience that Amy does not joke with that 3 minute rule. Seriously, she is the golden queen of timer-land. If you are too careless to prune your piece, from direct experience, here's how it goes:

You stand before the mic. You're reading. Your 180 seconds are up. The timer starts to go off. Oh [random expletive], you think. You look at the audience, but they know they can't save you... You hear her footsteps getting closer, ever closer... Your palms sweat. You scan your lines. The last sentence of your piece either hangs in mid-air or becomes the fastest chipmunk-esque record playing version of what it was that you can imagine. Click, click, click (her shoes)--beee-eeep, beeee-eep, beee---eeep (the timer). You stare out at the audience, wondering what to do--but they know. Sit down, you fool, their eyes beseech. Hurry! Do right thing quickly please, seem to say---make a graceful exit-- don't you see her behind you, or at your right, or wherever she may be this night, but getting rapidly getting nearer??

And so you sit, just after you say, "Thank you," into the mic and flee. But if you did things right, or at least did not screw up too badly, you feel quite smug that you got to your seat before she got to you--as if her having reached you and touched you would have made real your unforgiveable use of 5 or 10 (Oh my GOD, did you go 34 seconds over?! No way? And lived?) extra seconds, but because you managed to get your booty down before inspiring true ire, it would all be okay... You could live a long life. You could then breathe easy. Amy still loved you. Maybe. You hoped. I hope you know I am cracking up as I write this. But folks, really, I love to watch how new people handle any lack of completion (though the regulars are trained). Here are the top 5 ways I've seen people end their readings that demonstrate Amy’s excellent control of the time. Amy, this is for you. Hope it amuses:

1. BEST OPTION: They finish their sentence, look around at those gathered with a mournful look because they brought too much, and then say, "Thank you," very humbly, and sit down.

2. SECOND BEST: They peruse the last half a page they brought that there is no way they will get into the slot, then mention under their breath how they screwed up or how they’ll read the rest next time. Then they sit down.

3. A BIT TORTUROUS, especially if there are more than two sentences to go: They read really, really fast to get to the end. I have never heard a forest on fast-forward until attending this reading.

4. OKAY: They sit down immediately, but look so sad it's almost heartbreaking. Were they out on their first little reading excursion into the cruel world? Oh, broken doves! Oh, the sad crrooo-coo of your untimely conclusion.

5. THE TRAINWRECK--they keep reading and reading, trying to pretend that Amy is not coming. They don't even speed up since they are either arrogant or stubbornly insistent-- and there is clearly at least a paragraph to go so they are in abject denial that there even is a timer. Timer? What timer? But what they don’t realize is: The audience does not care about that last paragraph. The audience salivates, awaiting the entry of the gladiator, far more interested in Amy's approach on the reader than in the rest of whatever they so obstinately read. What will happen next?

Amy nears. Amy hovers. We all sit in delicious mock fear. With the greatest aplomb of the terminally rude reader, this person finally concludes. The audience waits. What will Amy say? It is actually a delicious sort of moment when we wonder what she will come out with because she must berate them in some way, for they were rude. They need that punishment! But, she must provide it in a way that is both regal and fair.

She regains control through a nice triple verbal flip with a sassy twist, stuck landing, followed by smirk, “Okay, next time when you read…” she might say. “You need to remember that three minutes is always three minutes here. It is a finite measure of time.”

She is adorable. Still, must they make her work so hard? Must they? *grins* Awww, we love it. We love her. Truly, it's really quite hot how she cuts you off, punishes, and demeans you. All this, and then, as abovementioned, a witty transition and distracting joke to focus your attention elsewhere. LOL!

(As an aside: People pay big money for that, you know? She should charge.)

Ha. And James, well, what a doll. And a joy to hear read, of course. Anyway, I just had to chime in here. That is a fun reading. Nothin' but love, Amy and James,
xo,
H

Re: Ask a Literary Agent

Heather_Fowler — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 13:52:40 -0000

When I think about having an agent, I think about wanting someone who will sell all of my work, not working astronomically hard to find a one project pimp, per se-- but I've recently heard that it's possible to have a book represented by an agent and therefore have "representation" but that the same agent will not represent other books of the author (in the same genre, like "novel") because he or she (the agent) may not have a publisher contact to pitch the other manuscript to due to a different niche market--i.e. one book is literary modern, one book is historical fiction--is this common?

What does it all mean, Basil? *grins* I suppose this means that an author who wants all of his or her books out should likely have multiple agents(?) or wait to get as big as someone like Stephen King where you can hypothetically decide to publish a pamphlet on foot fungi and all will be well? Also, I have a friend who has an agent here and one in the UK--that's interesting... Is this common?

Personally, as I edit my novel and work on two more, I'd love to hear the exact nuts and bolts of the process of people who were bold enough to enter the marketplace without an agent and succeed. I.e. how did they pick which houses might be receptive, what exactly did they send, is there a bible about doing this anywhere, did they carpetbomb copies of their manuscript and move with blind hope regarding certain venues, what did they learn not to do, etc?

I'm all for having an agent if that means that I just review, approve, self-publicize, do readings, get more money for each book, and write more with less focus on the business end--but I've also heard that soliciting an agent with a book you sold unagented (non-vanity) and a query about another book is something that impresses an agent --and that many may hook up with one after having become "a published author" of a booklength work. Curious what your visiting agent would say about that. :) For or against? Also, I've known writers to go through huge lagtimes and multiple agents when one isn't responsive or doing his or her job---what a horror that must be. My question for the agent who visits would be: What should an author look out for as potential negatives when signing to be represented by an agent-- and conversely, which attributes should be viewed as good signs for the relationship to come that can be seen put in print in any such agreement?

Re: Question of the Month: Annoying Habits

Heather_Fowler — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 20:24:43 -0000

You are great, Aurelio! Again, these traits strike me as perfectly normal. :)

So fun you popped in on Poem A Day. You going to play again? I enjoy your poetry very much. xo! H

Re: Question of the Month: Annoying Habits

Heather_Fowler — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 18:17:28 -0000

Ha! I did not intend to drive more discerning traffic to my wee amateur effort at singing and songwriting... :)

But, you are too sweet, Carolyn! xo! xo!

Re: Question of the Month: Annoying Habits

Heather_Fowler — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 09:55:41 -0000

Why is it that I seem to share everybody's annoying habits so far--and don't find any of them annoying or particularly abnormal???

Aimee, I do all of the above. Seriously. You are my twin.

But I also this last week, like a crazy monkey (with hardly any previous musical experience), sang and recorded my own song-- with my dad's music behind me-- and now play it through my myspace page. Whoever told me I had enough talent to torture my friends this way? No one. But no one told me not to, either, right? *grins*

I love writers. I love LitPark. *going off to the corner to autistically chant this*

xxoo!

Re: Question of the Month: Annoying Habits

Heather_Fowler — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 09:30:41 -0000

Sweet. So, should we ever travel together, for any reason, we will just know the other also needs the handrail and happily traipse along alternating side by side walks with those well-aligned with the walll and rail-- And, as an extra measure of good will, I will also bring a stash of handkerchiefs with me for you to use on the railings (and anti-bacterial foam for later, just in case). *smile*

It is so much nicer to have worked out these agreements in advance, don't you think?

xo, warmest,
H

Re: Question of the Month: Annoying Habits

Heather_Fowler — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 00:30:55 -0000

Only five? ;)

Let's see...

1. I always take on too many projects at once and then stress myself out to meet even joyful, happy obligations. Imagine the Alice In Wonderland rabbit, almost always fearing to be late, so late, for a very important date (on a schedule I myself designed as torturous and near impossible to satisfy).
2. When I talk on the phone, I try to multi-task--much to the annoyance of my mother who says she can tell the doing- something-else "hmmmhmmmm" a mile away.
3. I am compulsive about making lists and deciding on some bizarre thing absolutely must land at the top to happen right this instant--and then sit around overanalyzing why and my own rationale--going: forest? trees, trees... Trees? Forest! Forest, now. Onward! Forest, for g-d's sake!
4. When I am reading a book, I put it down only for the briefest possible interludes and my husband threatens book burnings *gasp* if I don't stop reading it obsessively and provide more than perfunctory responses; but it's a book. You understand, right Susan? *grins*
5. I must hold the railing everytime I go down a flight of stairs. I must have the railing at all times, or I am deathly afraid I will fall due to a combination of drag-queen shoes (which I prefer) and absolute clumsiness (which is genetic--oh, and add daydream prone walking and you can see why this must happen, this frantic railing clutching, but it is embarassing if I'm traveling with anyone who just naturally lands on the railing side and watches me duck behind them for a single file walk. I mean, really, that whole explanation could be rather tiresome, so I usually just say, "I fell down a flight of stairs once," which is true and seems to explain things--odd though it may seem.

Cute pics, gorgeous Ms. S! xo, as always,
H

Re: Monthly Wrap: Faking Confidence

Heather_Fowler — Mon, 26 May 2008 00:52:30 -0000

I should frame this remark. Or commemorate it somehow. I have always wanted to be the good cartoon angel. Why, oh why, has no one noticed this before... *note to self: Frequent horns showing distract from feathery wings? Ponder at a later date...*

xo!

Re: Monthly Wrap: Faking Confidence

Heather_Fowler — Wed, 21 May 2008 22:11:50 -0000

Think about ten times before you do that. Then ten or a hundred and fifty more. I was just telling Aurelio the other day how absolutely in awe of you I am: beauty, brains, emotional honesty, an amazing giving spirit--you're a warrior, Susan! Life should bow to you. Dom it into doing so. ;)

All affection,
H

Re: Monthly Wrap: Faking Confidence

Heather_Fowler — Wed, 21 May 2008 02:03:21 -0000

Oh, Susan! You are such a superstar!

Why is it that the most amazing people are always hardest on themselves?

Here is a secret: When I feel misery and self-doubt, I write someone a poem, or make them a drawing, or call a friend and compliment them. This is the only thing distracting enough to get me out of my mental (irrational, self-eviscerating I might add) worry-path. It helps. A lot. As does Prince. A wee bit of Prince (or other hiphop) and I'm golden. If even that doesn't work, I find a ridiculous mantra or play the most gruesome version of the thankful game you can imagine... And then, if all else fails, there's vodka. This must be used sparingly. If not sparingly, it must be used abundantly. Also, I have pacts with very good friends where we can essentially request praise and reinforcement with nearly no words required such that a glow fest can liven our egos and hearts. These paces are good. Even better if you can use a code word to avoid ever having snivelled or admitted self-repulsion... And then there's that other thing between adults, too. You know? That thing adults do? It's very hard to have self doubt when you edit after that...

Well, a few ideas from one with numerous coping strategies.... All necessary. xoxo!! H

Re: Jessica Brilliant Keener

Heather_Fowler — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 22:26:01 -0000

Again, another lovely interview with an inspiring guest. ;) All best wishes, H

Re: Question of the Week: Rejection

Heather_Fowler — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 01:04:14 -0000

I am with you! Vodka is the new aspirin. LOL!

Re: Question of the Week: Rejection

Heather_Fowler — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 21:38:20 -0000

Yes, that's a lovely piece--one of my faves! I enjoy, especially, how that story plays with the idea of desire and monstrosity...