Disqus - Latest Comments for Flamingsword

Re: How the Religious Right Prepares Women to be Victims of Rape Culture

Flamingsword — Sat, 20 Jan 2018 13:50:12 -0000

Rape outside of marriage was frowned upon as theft, not as a violation of autonomy. Marital rape was legal until the 90's because Christians think of sex as something fundamentally transactive. Man gives woman a home, woman gives man sex. They don't see it as a cooperation for mutual pleasure, governed by consent.

Re: How the Religious Right Prepares Women to be Victims of Rape Culture

Flamingsword — Thu, 18 Jan 2018 21:10:39 -0000

You realize that you just refuted your own starting position, right?

Stop drinking the kool-aid.

Re: How the Religious Right Prepares Women to be Victims of Rape Culture

Flamingsword — Mon, 15 Jan 2018 10:20:06 -0000

If progressive sexual ethics are to blame for the prevalence of rape, then why has it always existed?

Re: How the Religious Right Prepares Women to be Victims of Rape Culture

Flamingsword — Mon, 15 Jan 2018 10:17:49 -0000

I wish that were true. There would be a lot less rape, if so. A lot of my growing up I did in a small town, with conservative religious sensibilities. The phrase "she didn't fight him off very hard" was sometimes used to illustrate the factoid that even if a girl said no to sex, that unless she was willing to start a physical altercation and be beaten then she didn't really mean no and the rape was really her fault.

Women are punished for showing perfectly normal interest in men who seem nice and turn out to be predators, especially in religious communities where men are expected to be pushy and coercive about sex, because hey - she's the one being all sexy over there. He can't help it. It's just his nature to be be rapey and sinful.

Mainstream culture is rapidly getting over that delusion.

Re: Republican Budget Bill Raises Debt Ceiling by $10 Trillion

Flamingsword — Wed, 11 Jan 2017 15:18:59 -0000

Did you respond to the wrong comment, maybe?

Re: Republican Budget Bill Raises Debt Ceiling by $10 Trillion

Flamingsword — Wed, 11 Jan 2017 15:17:04 -0000

We all contribute to our culture. No single snowflake is responsible for the avalanche, but the presence of so much disengaging snow does eventually cause one.

We who would be thoughtful and reasonable and skeptical must examine our own behavior as well as our opponents.

Re: Republican Budget Bill Raises Debt Ceiling by $10 Trillion

Flamingsword — Wed, 11 Jan 2017 11:03:19 -0000

I think it is bad for the public discourse when you say that hypocrisy is the *only* currency. Getting people to associate politics with inherent moral corruption is part of what keeps voters disengaged, and is a major conservative victory. It helps to disenfranchise the majority.

Re: Bill Murray’s All-Female Ghostbusters Fan Cast on this Week’s Most Craved!

Flamingsword — Thu, 09 Oct 2014 14:08:36 -0000

Felicia Day. Jessica Williams. Aisha Tyler (hell, the entire female cast of Archer kill it EVERY SHOW). Anna Faris (have you SEEN The Dictator? Go. Go now.). If you don't think these women are funny then you have a problem with your expectations being sexist. You might wanna fix that, bro.

Re: Bill Murray’s All-Female Ghostbusters Fan Cast on this Week’s Most Craved!

Flamingsword — Thu, 09 Oct 2014 13:56:28 -0000

Sigourney Weaver as the fast-talking face character (and call-back to the original), Gina Torres as the sarcastic nerd, Jennifer Lopez as the plot exposition and ignored voice of reason to Sigourney Weavers take-no-prisoners attitude to the supernatural. And Felicia Day as the sneaky one that gets stuff done.

Re: :too many blogs

Flamingsword — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 00:54:21 -0000

What is there to be pissed about? He is factually incorrect. If he's trying to upset you, do you have a particular reason to comply? If he thinks he's being smart, well, that's cute. He'll get over it eventually.

Re: November 21, 2012 : Savage Love

Flamingsword — Mon, 03 Dec 2012 14:32:55 -0000

I can reply to myself, but not to the people who responded to me. WTF Disqus, that is not helpful.

I apologize for the hyperbole, Acephale; it's not your fault that it takes herculean efforts to get people living within the cultural mainstream to even consider that there are ethical points of view that do not map directly to their experience. It's not your fault that the one monogamous person that I dated turned out to have ignored the stuff I told him up front because he assumed that because I was a good person that I would "get over" my experience of monogamy feeling wrong for me. But the love jail? That is actually how it feels. Not to you, obviously, but when you stick people into boxes, they don't always fit, and it's pretty uncomfortable. I respect people's right to be monogamous until they try to apply their morals to me, and then I get pissed.

And Djur, people who think they get to decide other people's identity for them ARE closed-minded and emotionally stunted. If someone's ability to respect and interact with people is founded on the ability to identify them within sets of preconceived templates . . . well, there are more problems with that than I can fit in a blog comment. And I am not a beautiful, unique snowflake. I just respect that the only poly experience I can speak for is my own, and don't try to define other polys by my experiences. It's part of not being an asshole.

Re: November 21, 2012 : Savage Love

Flamingsword — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 15:28:21 -0000

I know people who have a bolt-action heart, only one round in the chamber. They don't love multiple people romantically at a time. I do, and always have, related to loved ones and the loved ones of my loved ones with the desire to make those connections all work out. That feels normal to me. Thinking that I could keep someone all to myself and never let them have connections with other people feels selfish and controlling and icky to me.

Just like there is a scale between straight and gay, there is a scale between mono and poly. If you fall on the multiple-loves-one-relationship end of the spectrum, then you're about a 2 out of 6 on the scale, with me being a 5 out of 6. That our cultural standard for relationship exclusivity defaults to monogamy and has set its moral values there does not mean that polyamorists are wrong to be the way they are, does not make us "assholes" (although there are assholes in all walks of life, including mine). If having an innate identity that conflicts with the identity that the mainstream wants to force on you is actually immoral, then prejudice would be morally correct. And that's messed up.

If you can live within the societally approved parameters, good for you. I wish you the best. But on my part even trying to do so feels abusive. It feels like I'm carving off pieces of myself and acting as a jailor to my primary relationship, keeping us locked into this tiny cell and cut off from other loves to enhance and balance our relationship. Other people are cool with living in the love jail, it makes them feel safe and special and, i don't know, some magical thinking destined love/soulmates/Twilight stuff that I am skeptical about.

I recognize that trying to get together with people who are not poly will never be a workable solution for me, and that while sometimes a 2 will meet you at 3, a 2 will not be meeting me at 5 and a 1 isn't going to be happy with anything other than a 1. Love is NOT all you need, Beatles be damned.

Re: November 21, 2012 : Savage Love

Flamingsword — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 15:04:17 -0000

It is invalidating for someone to choose your identity for you. Just because they have no power over you does not mean that they are not trying to coerce you to fit into the slot they want to put you in. And that's disrespectful, and a bit arrogant.

We don't get to decide that our understanding of the world is the truth and then police other people to conform to what we tell them they are. That is the root of every kind of bigotry. And it sucks.

Re: November 21, 2012 : Savage Love

Flamingsword — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 14:51:55 -0000

Dan, I think you're having some map/territory confusion with regard to poly being an identity/noun. Because the scale that you describe about some peoples preferred affectional styles being on a scale between monogamy and nonmonogamy sounds a lot like the Kinsey scale to me. And as a poly myself, I don't understand how people can only love one person at a time, consciously choosing not to love anyone else, but I can objectively see that there are people oriented that way. Their truth is not my truth, their map of this territory is drawn from experience just like mine. But just because our maps look nothing alike does not mean that we are not navigating the same territory.

It's time for you to take a step back and look at your assumptions, here, man. Because you just denied someone a piece of his identity, and that's a dick move. Walk your talk and don't discriminate against other people's right to be stuff you don't understand.

Re: Fantastic Fest 2012 Reveals Eight New Content Icons…But What Do They Represent? | Fantastic Fest

Flamingsword — Wed, 05 Sep 2012 01:58:42 -0000

1. Baby boners. 2. Scream like crazy. 3. Needs tissue. 4. Crushed to death. 5. Rabbinic Double Penetration. 6. Copper showers. 7. Run over. 8. Clerical Error.

Re: The Frogman - Comedy, photoshop, kittens, & corgis

Flamingsword — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 01:52:47 -0000

This is perfect.

Re: Ignoring ammonium nitrate law, Romney says OKC bombing is reason for no gun control

Flamingsword — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 00:38:42 -0000

Less likely to hurt other people sadly does not put me within the statistical average. And if I ever stop taking meds, there's a period where the brain isn't used to regulating itself where I will be much more likely to hurt someone. Speaking as someone who knows what that has been like, as someone who has hurt people and can own up to what that scenario means for me, I should not be legal to own a gun. It is too easy right now to fall through the cracks in our social welfare net, and having access to deadly assault weapons during that window of probable irrationality is a terrible thought.

Re: Ignoring ammonium nitrate law, Romney says OKC bombing is reason for no gun control

Flamingsword — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 01:31:51 -0000

He wasn't in London 24 hours before he had insulted their country, and alienated people on his "proof I have foreign policy experience" tour. If Romney alienates wealthy, white, English-speaking nations, I have no idea how bad his communication problems are going to be with the rest of the world.

Re: Ignoring ammonium nitrate law, Romney says OKC bombing is reason for no gun control

Flamingsword — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 01:28:02 -0000

Only if you have a permit. Concealed carry permits in Oklahoma aren't even that hard to get, so the fact that he didn't update his New York license with the state of Oklahoma is suspicious.

Re: Ignoring ammonium nitrate law, Romney says OKC bombing is reason for no gun control

Flamingsword — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 01:25:01 -0000

No veiled death threats, please. We're a better class of rabble than that, I hope.

Re: Ignoring ammonium nitrate law, Romney says OKC bombing is reason for no gun control

Flamingsword — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 01:24:05 -0000

Why not both? Because the ability to think creatively is very different from the ability to lie plausibly. Because to gets states onboard with keeping their mental health databases up-to-date and able to cross-reference with the National Instant Criminal Background Check System would require federal subsidies to state health organizations and his party is pushing austerity right now. He couldn't get support from within his own organization even though it's the right thing to do.

Re: Ignoring ammonium nitrate law, Romney says OKC bombing is reason for no gun control

Flamingsword — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 01:09:45 -0000

Okay, first: mood disorders are not safe things to have. Do not fall into the trap of thinking that because mental health issues are "natural" that they are not dangerous. My meds make me *less* likely to kill myself and others than being left untreated, which is why I take them.

Second: affordable health care means more *preventative care* like mental health screenings and better mental health database maintenance. That guy should not have been able to legally buy a gun if he was under psychiatric supervision, but the National Instant Criminal Background Check System isn't as well maintained as it should be, especially state mental health reporting. And it is legal in almost all states to buy and sell guns from one unlicensed individual to another, with no background check.

If I had my way, there would be a mental health screening that came before getting a gun license, and you'd have to have a gun license to buy a gun. I should not legally be able to purchase a firearm with which I could kill myself or other people, because I recognize that I am mentally unreliable. Our legislators need to own up to the fact that not everybody should be legally able to own a gun, and that mental health screenings are life-saving preventative care not only for the ill, but for everyone they cold potentially massacre at a summer blockbuster, and the psychological effects on our culture of everyone having to hear about it.

Violence, especially gun violence, is way too "normal" in our culture. We can't see the forest of guns for the lone-gunmen trees.

Re: Ignoring ammonium nitrate law, Romney says OKC bombing is reason for no gun control

Flamingsword — Fri, 27 Jul 2012 20:06:02 -0000

So he says we should be doing more to
get mental help for at-risk persons, but he is not changing his
mind about how to fund access to medical and mental healthcare. I would
like to see him try to reconcile these positions.

Re: Doctor Who’s Next Doctor Will Be The Woman?

Flamingsword — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 04:08:16 -0000

Factually incorrect. http://tardis.wikia.com/wik...

Re: Doctor Who’s Next Doctor Will Be The Woman?

Flamingsword — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 04:03:47 -0000

Your concept of science fiction lacks vision. You CAN just turn him into a woman, or a bird, or a blue-skinned humanoid. Other Time Lords have done all of those things.