Disqus - Latest Comments for DJain

Re: Whining, Tantrums in almost-2 year old -- Does she just need to cry?

DJain — Thu, 27 Jun 2013 08:07:56 -0000

I have tried holding my 17-month old daughter when she is crying for no reason (as you suggest), but she hits or pushes me away like she doesn't want to be held. How should I react that would have the same effect as what you have recommended in the article? I should mention that she is jealous because we have a 2-month old baby in the house now too. I try to give her extra attention when I can but sometimes I am pulled in two directions.

Re: Intercultural Interviews: Indian Parents’ Perspective (Part Two)

DJain — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 13:07:15 -0000

Oh, I loved reading this interview! GG, your in-laws are so cool, and it was such a great idea for you to interview them like this. They seem really cute together. Their attitudes remind me a lot of my own MIL's attitudes about our relationship too (and no, IP, she's not Bengali, she's of Marwari descent and is a devout Jain! ;-) )

I think I know what your Maa means by "taking responsibility" in getting married, because it is a big responsibility! Plus, I think there is much more of a sense in India that when a man gets married he's taking on the responsibility of providing for a wife/family. Maybe you could ask a follow-up question about that?

My MIL probably thought I am not as tidy as her, but I was happy to let her help out while she was here. She understood that we are both working a lot and too busy to clean except on weekends. On the communication/language front, I have to admit that my Hindi studies are coming along slowly, but Mummy has been taking English classes in India (and took ESL classes here in the US when she was with us too). She's working so hard at it that it puts my Hindi studies to shame.

Your in-laws had some very wise tidbits of advice. I hope you can get them to share some more while they are here!

Re: Intercultural Interviews: Indian Parents’ Perspective (Part One)

DJain — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 08:48:20 -0000

I think Sharell hasn't been hanging out on these web sites as long, and hasn't seen as much of the trollish behavior as we have, so she's being charitable and giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Re: A Day in Our Lives - With Indian Inlaws

DJain — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 22:30:05 -0000

Oh my God, this is so hilarious...Mummy and I got the exact same tour guide when I took her to the Capitol in March. I have a picture of them together. We had such a great time! We also walked to a Pakistani restaurant on Capitol Hill and went to the art museum and the Library of Congress together. My husband was busy so it was just us. She liked DC and it will be fun to have her visit after we're living up there.

Enjoy having your in-laws in town! I'm looking forward to more posts about their visit!

Re: To Hug or Not to Hug: More on Meeting the Parents

DJain — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 07:18:15 -0000

Thanks for posting this--it was really interesting! NPR rules, in my (somewhat biased!) opinion. I think it's true that many couples don't realize how different their backgrounds are until they meet the parents. I'm really glad that my husband prepared me before I met his family. I also agree with their advice to "ask the questions sooner rather than later."

On the "to hug or not to hug" thing...when I first met Mummy I touched her feet. Now I touch feet, then hug! But it was really kind of hilarious/awkward when Mummy stayed with us this year, and she met my dad for the first time. My dad tried to hug her because he didn't realize it wasn't "done" in Indian culture. Poor Mummy--she was so taken aback! But she handled it pretty well and Daddy didn't try to hug her again after that, hehehe.

Re: Wearing Sindoor as a White Woman

DJain — Fri, 15 May 2009 13:34:55 -0000

Rasudha, the last time I was in India the makeup brand Lakme had this makeup called "jewel sindoor" that was not powdery, but more like a slightly shimmery paste you could use as sindoor. There were different colors to match the different makeup color combinations. I would imagine that that kind wouldn't stain like the typical red powdery kind.

Re: Wearing Sindoor as a White Woman

DJain — Wed, 13 May 2009 16:03:34 -0000

I wear sindoor if I'm wearing a kurta or other Indian clothes, and have worn it to work before. Otherwise, with western garb, I have also gotten comments from people thinking I hurt myself. My husband doesn't like me to wear too much though, or risk looking like a "villager," as he says.

We went to visit my husband's taoji and taiji (father's elder brother and his wife) on our last trip to India and taiji loved the way I wore a sari, etc. but on that day I forgot sindoor and she commented about it later, wondering why I did not wear it.

Re: Indian Wedding Story, Part Five

DJain — Thu, 07 May 2009 15:35:22 -0000

Yes, the no rehearsals thing is a little scary but also levels the playing field a bit! I like how the weddings are not so stiff and formal like they are here.

I was so nervous, and it was the first Indian wedding I'd ever been to, and all these strangers were there, so I kept my eyes/head down a lot. Later we got lots of compliments that I was even more demure than an Indian bride, and wasn't that wonderful, etc. But it was not that I am an especially demure person, just that I was so nervous that day!

Re: Indian Wedding Story, Part Five

DJain — Thu, 07 May 2009 11:04:21 -0000

Our wedding was fairly big, and was held in a tent outside, but the fire was not that big. It was in a kind of brazier thing. But we did not throw oil into it, just rice and this powdery stuff and spices and things.

The regional differences are so interesting...our wedding was Jain/North Indian. I like reading about different ones!

Re: Indian Wedding Story, Part Five

DJain — Wed, 06 May 2009 21:24:00 -0000

I'm so glad to see a new post! I enjoyed reading this. The pictures are great too!

I also made a mistake in our wedding. In the part where we had to throw stuff into the fire, I burnt myself on the fire and dropped the plate filled with stuff! Oops! I almost started crying because I thought I'd done something really inauspicious. Also when we did the phere, I walked too fast and they had to slow me down, hee hee.

Re: Looking for a Few Good Blogs on Relationships, India, and All Things Intercultural?

DJain — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 11:45:07 -0000

Thanks for posting that, D! What a great interview. I love StoryCorps.

As a side note, it's so annoying that NPR announcers can't pronounce Indian names. I also work at a public radio station part time and I make sure to let the announcers know when I hear them mispronounce Indian names! ;-) NPR is pretty conscientious about names from other countries, so I'm not sure why Indian names trip them up.

Re: Intercultural Marriage Fluff

DJain — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 20:14:43 -0000

That is so funny, my husband is also obsessed with IHOP. American breakfast is his favorite thing. Recently he's been going there at least once a week for their Nutella crepes. He loves Cracker Barrell too, especially things like their gravy and biscuits.

Re: Intercultural Marriage Fluff

DJain — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 12:34:59 -0000

Here you go!

http://metrolandmiscellany....

That was fun!

Re: Cross-Cultural Connections in your Community

DJain — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 13:35:36 -0000

I have gotten the same kind of thing from my mom, and I think she has much the same attitude as yours, Colleen. She has actually said that she hopes our kids will be American, as if somehow they won't be because we include so much Indian culture in our lives. She doesn't realize that by dint of being born in America and being surrounded by American culture, they will BE Americans. But if we don't teach our kids Hindi or teach them about Indian culture, they will be completely cut off from half of their family, which I think would be tragic.

Since I first went to college I've always been interested in getting to know people from around the world. So it didn't seem that strange (to me, at least) when I started dating my husband.